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saira-k
06-12-2007, 09:46 PM
iv got so much locked up inside of me..cant talk to no one or nothing so guess this cud be a way..writing it down..

em..wel i feel as if im slowly drifting away from islam :( makes me cry wen i say that.but its cos everything is goin so wrong in life for me i js wish Allah wud make my life easier :( :( i hate waking up every morning..just hate my life.

my family r reli religious mashAllah n i ws once upon a time..i wear hijab and i attend an islamic class once a week.

its so hard being a teenager. i hate all these evil whispers i get. i find my life so hard so i start doin bad things. :'( im such a bad person.. i do bad things i gues cos i always question y has Allah made my life hard n easy for other ppl..y am i ugly y does no1 properly care about me..y am i not as smart as others.. etc its not self pity or anything. i js wana live a good life i reli want Jannah but the rate im goin im not gona be goin anywher near it. :(

will Allah stil forgiv me??

im 19 and at uni..most of my friends wear hijab too..but most have boyfrends..that makes things worse for me cos sumtimes i think i want one..thy make it reli hard for me. uni life is hard too all these ppl around me doin this n that. u prob say hang out with differnt ppl..but its hard when these ppl r in my class every single day. cant just blank them.

sumtimes i js wana run away..so close to runnin away to get away from all this. just feel like breaking down..either runin away or killing myself.

i feel that wen i get married hav a family etc il becum a better muslim but lifes short who knows wts round the corner and i know no1 is going to want to marry me :(:( i think tht too.. sooo much is goin thru my head...bad n good things..

i js wana make my parents proud..do well at uni n be a good muslim but honestly i find it so hard.

i dont even pray salah anymre. look im such a bad person!! wts the point in living any more. i want to i reli do..i wana read quran more do my salah etc etc but i gues i js listn to shaytaan.. is ther any point in living anymore.. im such a bad person no wonder i hate my life and no wonder everything is goin bad 4 me.

also some1 very very very close to me is in critical state (cancer) n everytime i see this person..i wonder y has this happnd..they r only yung..y :( maybe its my fault..cos im such a bad muslim Allah has punished me by putting my loved ones in a bad state like this..is this true? wish it ws me in the hospital bed not them..

i just need help i dont know wt to do..i honestly give up..keep crynig..never happy..js wna feel at ease n be happy n i know the reason y im not at ease its cos im a bad muslim. its tough n guess its cos im lazy too i dont do things.

please help me..iv just given up..dont no anything anymore.feel like i cant go on.

sorry for going on n on..js wrote wat was in my head..u must all think im a reli bad horrible n disgustin person.

jazakAllah for ur time in reading this..

may Allah grant u all Jannah and peace.

:w:
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Khayal
06-13-2007, 05:25 AM
:sl:

Dear Sister don't be sad, everything will be alright, InshaAllah..:)
first of all just start praying, Inshaallah,

The Prophet said: 'If one of you had a stream running at his door and he bathed in it five times every day, do you think any dirt would be left on him?' His companions answered, 'No dirt at all would be left on him.' He said, 'That is what the five prayers are like, with which Allah washes away your sins.' (Sahîh Bukhârî)


AND if possible start wearing hijab too, not only hijaab, BUT modest dressing too. you will feel a lot of confidence and a BIG CHANGE in you, InshaAllah.

The Prophet said: 'Modesty is part of faith.' (Sahîh Muslim)

The Prophet said: 'There is nothing which is heavier upon the balance than the good character.' (Musnad Ahmad)

And pray to ALLAH SWT after every salaah that HE forgive you, InshAllah, and that he guide you on the straight path InshaAllah. and forget about the other sisters who are wearing hijaab, and having B.friends. Just make urself a good muslima, and try to keep away from bad company, and just one GOOD friend is enough if you can't find more, and if you don't find one, than being alone is much better than having bad company, and try to keep urself busy in education, try to be a honor student, work hard, and success will be yours InshaAllah.

The Prophet said: 'The life of this world is bountiful, and the best of the bounties of this world is the righteous woman.' (Sahîh Muslim)


All ahadith are taken from Admin Ansar Al-'Adl's Personal Page



:w:
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glo
06-13-2007, 07:29 AM
Oh, sister ...

God loves you - believe it!!
He has made you just the way you are, and you are beautiful and wonderful in his sight!
He has great things for you, and he will reveal them to you in time.

You are going through a difficult period in your life, and that is normal. It is your time to find yourself, and where you stand with God.

He will protect you and keep you. He will not forsake you. And he will continue loving you.

I hope you can draw some strength from that!

May the peace of God be with you. :)
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HBot 5000
06-13-2007, 08:08 AM
Sister being a teenager is tough for all of us i for one would not like to go through that stage of my life again :( .

I echo Glo's comments above and if you ever need to talk just 'bang' away to your hearts content on these forums and we will be happy to help :)
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snakelegs
06-13-2007, 08:16 AM
doing bad things does not make you a bad person!
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Gangster No.1
06-13-2007, 08:40 AM
:sl:

hey dont giv up!
no1 is perfect.

remember allah and remmeber who you are why you are here,

YOUR A MUSLIM!

evryone has difficut tymes, even me, even you even you the reader,lol.

yet evryones difficult times are in a form of there own, sum difficulties may be you desire for wrong, sum maybe to steal and sum to do many other types of haram.

yet sum apply to sum ppl, and sum never appear to them, remeber that allah tests EVERYONE! even you even me.

Best advise i can giv is remeber allah, even when you feel happy, and even when you feel down, remeber allah is the only one who can REALLY HELP!

The shataan is always crafty, sumtyms when feel you down, you will end up doing sin, inshlah try not 2, remeber allah, becuz he is the only one who can help!


Inshlah you will become more strong in you imaan, and inshlah i shall also, inshlah we all will
ameen.

:sl: :D
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saira-k
06-13-2007, 02:59 PM
jazakAllah..thank u so much..il try. just hard wen uni starts up again..around all those ppl but i wil try my best and i wil remember Allah..thanks
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- Qatada -
06-13-2007, 03:08 PM
:salamext:


Sister, you might find this thread beneficial inshaa Allaah:

http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...ying-out.html?
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saira-k
06-13-2007, 03:10 PM
js wonderin.how to u fight of temptations of doing bad things likee i think its called zina? js basically mixing with opposite sex etcc thankz
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Thanaa
06-13-2007, 03:20 PM
Originally Posted by saira-k
js wonderin.how to u fight of temptations of doing bad things likee i think its called zina? js basically mixing with opposite sex etcc thankz
I scream "nooooooooooooooo...!" inside my head until the thought goes away, lol! :D
No really, I dont seem to get many problems when it comes to thoughts of zina, etc. I tend to avoid mixed gatherings altogether, and while Im at work, I do speak to my male colleagues, but I keep it to decent subjects like "when's our pay rise again?" :)
Short of changing friends entirely, Perhaps you could try doing "girls only" things with the friends youve got, so that theyre boyfriends arent hanging out near you being toned and macho and stuff?
I know how guilty a person can feel when they dont pray-Im trying to sart doing it properly, and the reason that I havnt done much praying before is because of the situation with my Parents over Islam...
If you want to chat you can always PM me. :D
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saira-k
06-13-2007, 03:31 PM
jazakAllah.. its just see my friends who hv bfs n wears hijaabz n stuf they cum to me with their "relationship" problems..i cant js ignre them cos i did that once b4 i told them i dont reli wana hear it cos i can get tempted too. then we had a fight n she sed i was jealous n basicaly i cdunt get a bf cs im ugly lol :(
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Thanaa
06-13-2007, 04:23 PM
Originally Posted by saira-k
jazakAllah.. its just see my friends who hv bfs n wears hijaabz n stuf they cum to me with their "relationship" problems..i cant js ignre them cos i did that once b4 i told them i dont reli wana hear it cos i can get tempted too. then we had a fight n she sed i was jealous n basicaly i cdunt get a bf cs im ugly lol :(
Hmm.
Thats a dilemma...!
So...What you're basically saying is that your friends dont have as much faith as you, or at least, they dont regard things that are haraam as being haraam, and you're uncomfortable about getting involved with that sort of thing, in case you're encouraged to behave in a similar way?
Thats my interpretation anyway. :D
I would be worried about having friends who insulted me when their behaviour wasnt right to start with. Just my opinion.
What do you think that you should do about your situation?
Its an odd question, but you might find that you really do have an inkling about how to sort the situation out, but that you havent yet acted on it. :)
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saira-k
06-13-2007, 06:16 PM
yeahhh exactly! thanks..i spoke to my friend who has a boyfrend n told her look wt ur doin is not exatly right n she sed to me no its not haraam i ws like holdd upp..she sed im doin exactly same thing as u..u tok to guys im just tokin to him but yh i tok to guys thts bad but she does other stuf with her bf if u no wt i mean so ws kinda shokdd wt she sed basicaly she sed it ws halal to go out wit a guy :o shes gt it in her head tht its fine to do al this but recntly iv tried to stop tokin to my guy friends. but i dno its hard
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skhalid
06-15-2007, 09:30 AM
wot can i say.....i dnt wanna say too much!

First of all please start praying sista and from that everything will soon fall back into place...dnt forget Allah loves you and he made you the way you are for a reason...to Him you are one of the kind and beautiful even if you think your ugly....even though you do such things it doesn't literally make you a bad person...pray to Allah and he shall show you the right path....ignore those who influence you to follow their ways...don't let anyone tell you having a bf isn't haram...it is forbidden due to certain things that one does if they have one, they lie, they commit zina etc....try to keep strong...no-one said life was easy...after all it is a test..and to pass it you have to do what you can to please God.
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IbnAbdulHakim
06-15-2007, 09:36 AM
you know... Shaytaan requested Allah to give him respite till the day of reckoning. Ok this is shaytaan here, asking if he can cause all the evil he can to those he can seduce and Allah allowed him warning that those who obey him will follow him into the fire.

ok take a second and think about it, Allah is ALLOWING shaytaan to cause mischief, utter mischief but at the same time Allah has placed within our hearts something which naturally inclines us to do good. this is proven by ur desire to be good see. so wats the answer? ok listen to this ok, no matta how deep into evil you go Allah will let you fall until your destroyed to the point of no return (heart goes pitch black) so wat can u do? Force yourself to pray and have faith in Allah that you get a pious righteous husband.

if you truelly believe in Allah, then believe his watching and believe in his attributes which are the most just and most merciful. trust Allah, you WILL get through life with flying colors if you just trust in him
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sister herb
06-15-2007, 09:52 AM
Salaam alaykum

sister I just read what it means to be teenager. I have been similar about 20 years ago. Thanks to remind me how terrible it was when I didn´t know who I am and where I belongs. :exhausted

Don´t take care too much these yours years now. Enjoy them so long that you have them. At one day you will see you too are 40 (as I) and you will enjoy also about it.

:statisfie

your older sister in Islam
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saira-k
06-19-2007, 10:11 PM
thanks ppl..im trying..js so hard..wit al thse ppl round me..js pray Allah makes me stronger in dis n makes me a beteer muslim
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-20-2007, 12:06 AM
:sl:

^^InshAllah sis, Ameen. Remember Allah is the only one who can help you. Every human has a problem of their own and cant usually solve them. The only one to help is Allah(swt). There are a lot of people going through the same thing. I dont think you've gone away from Islam, but rather your just struggling and you want to be a better Muslim. You jus need boosting and Inshallah everything will be good. May Allah(swt) forgive us all. You'll be in our du'as like the rest of the Ummah Inshallah and keep us in yours!

:w: :)
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Salma13
06-22-2007, 09:51 PM
Asalamaleikum saira, my name is salma im 19, and alhumdulillah just started to practice. im really sorry to hear about how you are feeling, i feel like i know you and i really want to help you, im going to begin with asking you that when you say you want to read quran and do salaah, do just want to read it as its a part of life which youve been brought up with or because you want to understand it. and when you say you want to do your salaah do you know the importance of salaah? im asking these questions because i feel that if you new the importance of salaah and read the quran for understanding things will becum more clearer to you. i also just want to add that you will be in my duas, inshallah! And whenever you are feeling down or low, just remember Allah knows, when you think for that cry for help, Allah knows, and trust me you have made a great step writing down your problems as its a begining, and Allah helps those who want help. so Alhumdulillah your half way there. im at uni at the moment aswell, and i do sympathise with you for the fact that its difficult when you have friends doing things which arent acceptable, i began to practice in my second year so i had so many people asking questions, but just remember stand up to wat you beleive and wat u think is right, because who knows u might inspire someone to look into islam or even become a better muslim.
May Allah guide you and make this test easy for Ameen.
My email address is (DO NOT POST PERSONAL IDENTIFYING INFORMATION SUCH AS EMAIL ADDIES) if you ever need a shoulder to cry on.
take care, and stay strong! Salma xxxx
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rozeena
06-23-2007, 09:51 AM
assalam alaikum sista, cn i just say no1 is perfect. even i myself hav ppl around me who r ALWAYS trying 2 influence me in2 doing bad fings bt u jus gta ignore it n carry on at da end of da day evri1s going in2 der own grave. also jus kp praying 2 allah 2 mk evryfing betta inshallah evryfing will get betta. cum on u gta have bad days 2 see good 1's innit??? n dnt feel dwn sis,
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AmarFaisal
06-23-2007, 10:21 AM
Dear Sister SAira,

I feel very close to u myself. When I was a teenager I had all such problems n all such thoughts. I was a good muslim, practising Islam n praying until my bad luck n il fate took me to a terrible place. I got engaged to a wonderful man n in times when I was away from men in all ways , he came into my life with so much love. But our parents clashed n our engament broke. I was in a terrible condition. I'd always think why this happened to me when I am a good muslim. Whereas my cousins who have boy friends n all r living a happy life. I even when to self destruction n tried to become evil. But I ended up only hurting myself even more n badly. I revolted against myparents n blamed them for the unhappiness in my life. etc etc etc etc

Anything I say will not give u any support mentally or physically. U need a good friend by ur side. A friend that can guide u n be with u in ur bad times. A friend who can explain to u why this is happening n that u need to be patience. Anything I might say, will disappear with time. But a friend remains with u. The negative point of this is that, ppl like us often don't have a friend to share. And if we do they leave us alone in times of trouble.

One of our sisters has lended u a hearing shoulder. I hope she can console u. But abt everything u have said let me tell u this.

Allah takes our exam, He tries those whom He loves most. When ppl used to say this to me I didn't understand, I doubt u can in ur circumstances. Just take a good friend, if u find none, try to find one in ur mother. She will pray for u n give u guidance as Allah has placed in this world for us an angel in the form of our Mothers, who can guide us n take care of us at all times.

May Allah Bless u n forgive u
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Miss_sara
06-23-2007, 11:35 AM
iv got so much locked up inside of me..cant talk to no one or nothing so guess this cud be a way..writing it down..

I think its a good idea to keep a journal, you will feel much better writing everything down. Afterwards if you want just rip it and chuck it away.

will Allah stil forgiv me??

Inshallah keep praying and ask for forgiveness. Allah SWT is the most merciful.

im 19 and at uni..most of my friends wear hijab too..but most have boyfrends..that makes things worse for me cos sumtimes i think i want one..thy make it reli hard for me. uni life is hard too all these ppl around me doin this n that. u prob say hang out with differnt ppl..but its hard when these ppl r in my class every single day. cant just blank them.

I understand when you become friends with a group of people, it does become hard to avoid them especially as you see them everyday. I think you should just keep it on a Uni level, just go to your lectures and then go home straight after. The less you socialise with them the better and when they talk to you just try to keep talking about uni work to them.

im also looking for a job but no1 wants to give me one..but my friend got one the other day and shes got a boyfrend n does bad stuff and wears hijab..hmm i dno

Your feeling like good things happen to bad people but thats not the case. A problem and calamity is a blessing sister. We get a chance to earn reward from our trials by keeping on praying and having patience. Allah swt tests those he loves.

i dont even pray salah anymre. look im such a bad person!! wts the point in living any more. i want to i reli do..i wana read quran more do my salah etc etc but i gues i js listn to shaytaan.. is ther any point in living anymore.. im such a bad person no wonder i hate my life and no wonder everything is goin bad 4 me.


Only you can change that, just say im going to shame the devil today and pray. Be strong i know its hard but seek refuge in Allah swt from these whispers.

What is happening to your friend is very sad, May Allah SWT make her better. Ameen. This is what was written and Allah SWT does things for the best. Just be there for her as much as you can and its certainly not your fault so don't blame yourself.

You can try to seek solace in different things but at the end of the day its only Allah SWT that can help you. Prayer is the best medicine and cure. You will find peace eventually inshallah by praying and seeking Allah's pleasure.

I hope you get better sister, May Allah swt ease your suffering. Ameen.
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saira-k
06-28-2007, 12:50 PM
jazakAllah ppl so much..iv started reading salah now n feel mch better..hpefuly i stik to it n Allah forgives me
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- Qatada -
06-28-2007, 08:02 PM
:salamext:


Here's a dua' from the Sunnah sister:


:sl:



Allahumma inni 'a'udhubika minal hammi walhuzni, Wal'ajzi walkasali, walbukhli waljubni, Wa dal'id-daiyni wa ghalabatir-rajal

‘O Allaah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men.’

Sahih al-Bukhari, 7/158


Once, they came to Abu ad-Darda' while he was in the mosque, saying to him: "O Abu ad-Darda'! Your house has been burned down!" He replied: "By Allah, it has not been burned down." They said: "It has been burned down!" He replied: "By Allah, it has not been burned down." They went to see that the fire had consumed everything in the area, and had stopped right at Abu ad-Darda''s house, and he did not even get up to go see for himself. They came back and asked him: "What drove you to insist that it had not been burned down?" He replied: "The Messenger of Allah had taught me some words that, if I say them, I will not be stricken with any harm," - he is secure! - "'O Allah, I seek refuge with You from sadness and grief, and I seek refuge with You from inability and laziness, and I seek refuge with You from cowardliness and stinginess, and I seek refuge with You from being overpowered by debts and men,' so, I made this supplication." In regards to this same supplication, Abu Umamah narrated: "I was sitting in the mosque, when the Messenger of Allah asked me: "What is wrong, Abu Umamah?" I replied: "I am in distress because of a debt that I owe." The Prophet then told me: "Supplicate with these words ('O Allah, I seek refuge with You from sadness and grief...')." So, I supplicated with these words, and Allah removed my distress, and paid off my debt."
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saira-k
06-30-2007, 11:11 PM
jazakAllah :)
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tryinghard
07-02-2007, 12:48 AM
Asalamu alaikum,

I agree with all of these comments, but I had one question. I don't intend to be offensive in asking this, but I don't know and just want to learn. The original poster mentioned trying to avoid talking to members of the opposite sex. As a student in the university, it is impossible to completely stop talking to members of the opposite sex. When does it become improper? If this has already been discussed, im sorry but please lead me to the proper thread. Also, I have never grown up around many muslims, so many of my close friends are non-Muslims. They are really good people at heart, but I know that despite my talking about Islam to them, they will never convert. Is it wrong to continue being friends with them? They have been very supportive and overall, very good friends, but I'm wondering if associating with non-Muslims this closely is haraam. Thank you
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