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AnonymousPoster
06-18-2007, 12:53 PM
:cry: :cry:

I though he was the one for me....we had so much planned and we were gonna get married...but how could he do this to me?!
He said he loves me...and I told him let's get married...then I found out he's engaged to someone else...and guess what he loves her as well...and she is my friend (was my friend :raging: ) I heard everything he said about me behind my back..calling me a ***** when I never even done anything I swear Allah is my witness I never let him touched me and we never dated, and he wasn't my boy friend, we were not like that...we chose to follow the rules and do this properly...what am I sayin? there is no we nomore!!! :rollseyes :skeleton:
and I love him with all my heart I swear on my mother's life and he let me down when I needed him the most..and yes I'm trying to get over it...it is the only thing I can do :cry: but I swear if I come across him..he will pay....I mean when he found out I knew...he stopped contacting me...never returned my texts or emails, or pick up when I called him...never even said sorry for how things have turned out...and my ex-friend said that she didn't know anything about me and him...and he told her that we had nothing going...he just saw me around it was 'asalaam alaykum', 'waalaykum salaam'...OH :omg: ...yes yes I am really pissed off sorry for swearing on here..he broke my heart...and this quietness is killing me...I have decided..i'm going round his house..I don't care if his parents are there or not...I WONT LEAVE UNTIL I HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR HIS BEHAVIOUR!!! :raging:
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Nazihah
06-18-2007, 02:27 PM
Assalamualaikum Sister,

I hope that you are in good health, inshaAllah.
Have patience Sister. Allah loves those who are patient.
I understand from what you've said that he left, leaving everything that has been planned without any explanation from him.

Let Allah s.w.t be the judge, for He knows best.
The guy will be punished for what he have done.
Make dua to Allah, to strengthen your iman, to build patience in yourself.
Tawakal (trust) in Allah, for He knows best.
It might be that Allah has chosen for you someone much better than the guy.

So Sister, have patience, leave the rest to Allah. Don't act into something without thinking wisely into it.
I hope I helped in some way.My apologies if I've offended you in any way.
Take care.

Wasalam.
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HBot 5000
06-18-2007, 04:19 PM
He sounds like a scoundrel, better off without him!

Sister with time the pain will heal and the only comforting thought i can offer you is that all 'us' men are not like this individual.
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Kittygyal
06-18-2007, 04:36 PM
salamualikum.
Join the crew
ma'assalama
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ummAbdillah
06-18-2007, 04:41 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:cry: :cry:

I though he was the one for me....we had so much planned and we were gonna get married...but how could he do this to me?!
He said he loves me...and I told him let's get married...then I found out he's engaged to someone else...and guess what he loves her as well...and she is my friend (was my friend :raging: ) I heard everything he said about me behind my back..calling me a ***** when I never even done anything I swear Allah is my witness I never let him touched me and we never dated, and he wasn't my boy friend, we were not like that...we chose to follow the rules and do this properly...what am I sayin? there is no we nomore!!! :rollseyes :skeleton:
and I love him with all my heart I swear on my mother's life and he let me down when I needed him the most..and yes I'm trying to get over it...it is the only thing I can do :cry: but I swear if I come across him..he will pay....I mean when he found out I knew...he stopped contacting me...never returned my texts or emails, or pick up when I called him...never even said sorry for how things have turned out...and my ex-friend said that she didn't know anything about me and him...and he told her that we had nothing going...he just saw me around it was 'asalaam alaykum', 'waalaykum salaam'...OH :omg: ...yes yes I am really pissed off sorry for swearing on here..he broke my heart...and this quietness is killing me...I have decided..i'm going round his house..I don't care if his parents are there or not...I WONT LEAVE UNTIL I HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR HIS BEHAVIOUR!!! :raging:
:salamext:
I'm sorry you feel that way sis :) you can't go around his house though. He is not your mahram and you have nothing to do with each other. Have Sabr for the sake of Allah ta'ala :) Mabe this is a test from Allah, I ask Allah to give you someone better. Inshallah.
:w:
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------
06-18-2007, 07:47 PM
:salamext:

Have patience sis - I know, easier said than done.

Alternatively, thank Allah that pathetic person is out of your life, tell him to DO ONE, and move on :D
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vpb
06-18-2007, 07:53 PM
:sl:

sis, u should at least be happy, I know cases of people whom I know, they got married, after they had the first child, her husband said to her that I've married you just to take care of the house, and was going to leave her, so she would stay with his mother. Let alone the treatment that she got from her mother in law. Also the baby was going to be with mental or physical problems I can't remember.

so what i'm trying to say that at least you got to know it before big things happened.. so be patient , and inshaAllah will reward u.
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Have Faith
06-18-2007, 08:04 PM
as salamu aleykum wa rahmatullaah

Verily Allah is with those who are patient!!!

sister .. dont do things that u will regret later on !!
leave it up to allah !!!.. He is the All wise ..
He is the judge , And his judgement will always be just!!

alhamdullilahi rabil ala'miin that guy is out of ur life now ..
as others might have said .. it could have been worse...
so thank allah for that !!!

(... and dont swear on ur mums life .. as u can not swear on anything except on ur Lord !!)

Wa aleykum salam wa rahmatullaah
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Pureyemeni
06-18-2007, 08:05 PM
:salamext:
be patience sis and do dua to Allah
:wasalamex
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BanGuLLy
06-18-2007, 08:13 PM
u have a LOT of issues... Its done.. he got another girl.. so move on and find another man... theres nuff in the world.. and jealously is a work of the devil.. u cant always have wat u want...
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Khayal
06-18-2007, 10:21 PM
:sl:

All I am saying is that everything is from Allah (SWT). Allah is the All-Knowing and knows what is best for us, good or bad. So say Alhamdulillah and move on.:)


:w:
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IbnAbdulHakim
06-18-2007, 10:23 PM
Originally Posted by Bangsta
u have a LOT of issues... Its done.. he got another girl.. so move on and find another man... theres nuff in the world.. and jealously is a work of the devil.. u cant always have wat u want...
bro wen u say "find another man" u mean get married right :)


jus makin sure theres no confusion bhai :D
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Abdul Fattah
06-18-2007, 11:16 PM
And just think you almost married this kind of guy who would do such a thing! Say: good riddens, Alhamdoelillah :)
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iwuvaziaf
06-18-2007, 11:31 PM
sis.. dnt put ur hopes in one person.. ppl can let u down but Allah never will..

why not be satisfied in this life and also please Him and get the bestest time in the hereafter and he will be no match to your companion in the heavens!

Believe it or not.. going round his house is only gona hurt u more.. and ur reputation specially considering you havent done anything.. why do something now? why embarass urself? ppl get what they give.. trust me!!! trust me!! and i wish that would taste sweet and sumtimes it comes so bad that u feel sorry them... its Allah's way of working.. have faith! no1 does justice like Him..

I guess if he built up ur hopes secretly then how many other girls must he have done that too.. his buzz wont last.. he can run but he can only hide from u.. Brother best start repenting for causing u pain and i pray for u my lubbly jubbly sister.. believe it or not, as much as it hurts! so quickly will it fade!

Think about who and what is important.. and yeah its true, not all brothers r bad and not all sisters r jealous types.. there are exceptions, which is why we must guard ourselves.. guess what, shaitan just paid a visit in ur life.. hope u can eliminate him for good...no safe return! best of luck!

Salamaleykum
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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2007, 02:19 AM
:sl:


Just forget about him sis, whats happened, has happened. Inshallah they'll be someone else out there for you, who's probably 10 x better than this bro.

Think about it, if you hadn't find out that he was seeing this other women and he was also engaged to her, he probably still would of been seeing you and his wife. So thank Allah s.w.t you found out about it, and don't be harsh on ur friend she didnt know, try sorting it out between you two. Why argue and fight over a guy?

:w:
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anonymous
06-19-2007, 06:37 AM
mashaAllah good advice already...

something similar happened to me just recently sis, turned out the bro i was (hoping) to get married to, wasn't even that serious about it, as soon as things got serious (goin to family etc) he up n went...
But i'm really happy with the outcome, why? cos i asked Allah that if this wasn't khair he be the one to put it to an end then to make my mum a reason for it not happenin, alhamdulilah mum refused him lolz...i was distraught but it was for the best...I can't say i loved him, cos i don't beleive in love before marriage, but i liked him enough to want to marry him...

sorry if this sounds winded but...sometimes you think you want something, but if u make du'a n put your trust in Allah, then that's the best thing you could do...
besides you seem like a nice sister, i'm sayin that cos of teh way u said u didn't date etc...i hope Allah replaces you with someone better, who loves you and respects you the way you deserve!

i'd say don't bother goin to his house, it'll only cause more hurt like a sister already said, be patient n make du'a sis

'and if you are tried then try them in the same way the try ou, but if you are patient then that is better for the patient ones' nahl
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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2007, 08:31 AM
me and my friend...we still get on, I don't blame her for anything that has happened....and I have no grudge on her..and I absolutely ent jealous of her(there is nothing that she has that I ent :D ) I found out he was planning to marry us both me and her...and I was like :? :raging: ....so I was going to be his second wife as he was already engaged to her...although I don't know could have been his first....:rollseyes ..anyways I swear only to Allah my bad for swearing on my mother....just love her so much :) and if I was such a bad person I would have ruined my friends relationship...but I didnot fight with her over him (he ent worth it :thumbs_up ) but I saw him at the park yesterday (no I didn't approch him) he approached me :X
he said 'we need to talk'..and I was like 'I ent got nuthing to say to you'...but he just ignored that and went on trying to explain and he said 'I don't want things to end like this'...I didn't say nothing I just listened...so he went on and on...:enough!: All I wanted to know is why he didn't tell me that he was already engaged..and ofcourse I got that 'I knew you would react like this that's why'... he said that the engagement ent finalised yet and he wants to be with me..I was like (SHUT UP) I hate it when people sweet talk me..and he still went on blah blah blah..'I meant everything I said'..blah blah blah and the rest of it :rollseyes and then he said something that made me feel +o( ..he said he'll leave my friend for me I was like :raging: ..believe me I love and I care for my friend and I don't want to be the cause of her unhappiness :skeleton: ..he said he'll talk to her and tell her the truth this time :? ..why did he lie in the first place? he hurt me and now he wants to hurt her as well :raging: I told him not to do such a stupid thing, if my sorrow brings happiness to her I'll manage it somehow...:cry: then he said he doesn't love her, he just likes her, he truly loves me...so why did he propose to her...how can you be willing to marry someone whom you don't love?? :? He totally confused me :blind: so then he asked me to forgive him :rollseyes give him another chance to prove himself....:? and told me to think about it.I don't know what to do....I cannot steal him off my friend (I mean he was mine literally she stole him off me but they are engaged) I can't find it in my heart to do that to her....and okay yeah I love him and even after what he's done to me my feelings remain...but he can't make me do this..it's not right!!! :enough!:
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vpb
06-19-2007, 08:35 AM
:sl:

sis, isn't he supposed to talk to someone who is your mahram? your father or brother? instead of stopping you and start talking to u just like that?
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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2007, 08:39 AM
exactly :rollseyes ..I was at the park with my brothers..and he just came up to me and start talking...and I told him to **** off but he didn't ...I could force him so....:rollseyes I did tell him not to talk to me..I told him he knows where I live so he can always talk to my parents...but nah didn't stop him from expressing himself :skeleton: well at least he left me alone after he said his piece...else I swear I would have called someone..:X
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mohammed farah
06-19-2007, 08:55 AM
Originally Posted by Kittygyal
salamualikum.
Join the crew
ma'assalama

What crew:?
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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2007, 09:04 AM
lol she means join the crew (of those who have been in the same situation)
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skhalid
06-19-2007, 09:04 AM
Originally Posted by mohammed farah
What crew:?
join the crew lol
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umm-sulaim
06-19-2007, 10:22 AM
Originally Posted by vpb
:sl:

sis, isn't he supposed to talk to someone who is your mahram? your father or brother? instead of stopping you and start talking to u just like that?
innit!?

sis just make du'aa inshaa'Allaah that Allaah gives you whatever is best for you, and if deep down you really like this bro make isitkhaarah.
But gotta say nice one!! I'm glad you stood your ground maashaa'Allaah, i honestly dislike it when people think they can try to sweet talk u get u to agree and then laaaaaaaaaaater if they're still bothered they go to your parents UFF :raging:
miskeenah ur friend n all, may Allaah give you two whatever is best for you!

wassalaamu alaykum
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One Man Army
06-19-2007, 10:30 AM
y dnt u both marry him?
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vpb
06-19-2007, 10:33 AM
:sl:
and if deep down you really like this bro make isitkhaarah.
brother Abdul Raheem Green gave a very good explanation about the "love".
He said that when you see a person and you say "ohhh I love/like him sooo much", it's not love, that is just passion. But love is something that during the life with that person that u live, as u get older, the passion is gone, and the love starts to show up, so you can see the plain love. So love is something that is developed , not something that u see the person and "oh I like him".

so my advise would be, if you that think that guy is a good man, and pious, and matches you, so you can live with him, then yeah you could do something, but if he doesn't match with u, but u just have this thing "oh but I love him", then remember that the passion will be gone very quickly, and the pure love will be left between u and him.

there is a saying in my country that says : "The beauty is one sunday and two jumma's".

i'm not saying that you shouldn't look at someone for beauty, of course, it's is a very important thing, but not leave everything behind, and concentrate 100% in beauty (which makes u fall in "love"), and who knows what type of person is the man you're looking for. so take in consideration all of the things, if you think he matches u, than try to do something, but if not, then leave it.
Allah knows what is the best for u.
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skhalid
06-19-2007, 10:52 AM
what da **** ....oh okay all da best sis...allah knows what's best for you...

Have faith in Allah he is the only one who will fulfill your dreams
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anonymous
06-19-2007, 12:13 PM
GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH LUV
if i was u tho id punch his lights out b4 buryin him alive the stupid **** **** **** ****** *********8
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skhalid
06-19-2007, 12:15 PM
:thumbs_up Same ere
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skhalid
06-19-2007, 12:15 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH LUV
if i was u tho id punch his lights out b4 buryin him alive the stupid **** **** **** ****** *********8
:thumbs_up good on ya lol
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anonymous
06-19-2007, 12:16 PM
Originally Posted by skhalid
:thumbs_up good on ya lol
SAFE N DAT ;)
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skhalid
06-19-2007, 12:24 PM
rubbish belongs in the bin....crunch it up and throw it away dats my motto :D :thumbs_up
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jannat
06-19-2007, 02:10 PM
:sl:
i hope allah makes it easy for u. all i can say is please keep prayin and make sincere dua.. so sincere that ur cryin so much that ur flooding the place. pray istikhara salah ,it m8 help, i cant speak from experience,
alhamdulliah alot of the advice said on here is useful.. please do not go to his house, be strong... he has knows he has made a big mistake, believe me and he will be repenting , all u need is Allah, he really is testing u at the moment. Have Sabr, may allah give you it inshallah. Only Allah will tell u if he is the one, whether its real love or just passion!
May allah do best for you inshallah
:w:
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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2007, 02:13 PM
I told my family that he has been bugging me and they have gone to talk to his family...so he stays away from me......unless...
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Kittygyal
06-19-2007, 02:18 PM
Salamualikum
Er confusing ^
Ma'assalam
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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2007, 02:21 PM
Forget the geeza, dont know why u even bothering still talking to him. someone does that to you. i wouldnt even wanna see their face.
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Kittygyal
06-19-2007, 02:23 PM
Salamualikum.
WWWhats going on these gender thingamajig's are annoying and confusing!
Ma'assalama
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rozeena
06-19-2007, 04:18 PM
hey sis can i just say that u shud b glad u found out wt his lyk before it gt any further
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Kittygyal
06-19-2007, 04:25 PM
Originally Posted by rozeena
hey sis can i just say that u shud b glad u found out wt his lyk before it gt any further
salamualikum.
me:?
Ma'assalama
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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2007, 05:58 PM
no she means me..those who reply my thread please dont post anonymously you confuse people :)
The stupid guy told my parents he wants to marry me..thats why he has been harrassing me lately :raging:
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Kittygyal
06-19-2007, 06:02 PM
salamualikum.,
Get married? If not am sure if you tell ya parents you don't want to they will understand

YOU KNOW DO DUA'AH SIS

ma'assalama
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AnonymousPoster
06-20-2007, 08:01 AM
okay my parents talked to me :rollseyes and well they said it is my decision :D if i want to marry him or not so...:?
I spoke to my friend...she says that she has broken the engagement :blind:
just for me...:omg:
and she is not upset at all, she says that there plenty of fish in the sea
and this one is mine (as in me not her) :statisfie
I can't believe she's done that....for me :-[
It seems to be a big sacrifice...and she has shown to be a very honorable friend, may Allah give her the best in life ameen*
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Gangster No.1
06-20-2007, 08:50 AM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
okay my parents talked to me :rollseyes and well they said it is my decision :D if i want to marry him or not so...:?
I spoke to my friend...she says that she has broken the engagement :blind:
just for me...:omg:
and she is not upset at all, she says that there plenty of fish in the sea
and this one is mine (as in me not her) :statisfie
I can't believe she's done that....for me :-[
It seems to be a big sacrifice...and she has shown to be a very honorable friend, may Allah give her the best in life ameen*
So after all, you are ganna get married 2 a geza who has done this, does he evene Love you? does he evEn REALLy want 2 get married? and does he REALLY want 2 get married 2 U or your MATE?

has his parents forced him 2 get married 2 u, now that all this arguemnet has started between you, your mate and your wanna b husband?


seriously i thnk you shud carefully consider what is right and what isnt. becuz if you do nd up marrying him, ater a few months are gone both of you are ganna fink was i really 2 marry him/her!

if he wants 2 b with your mate more than you, and loves her and she loves him then let them be together, however if he loves you and you love him and then thats diffrent.

talk 2 him, politley ask him want he wants truelly, ask yourself want you want truelly, can you send your life with him for ever, forgetting the past, does he care bout you, why wud he do this in thefirst place!

wotver you decide 2 do, dont ruin yourself, and ruin others with you,

becus, YOUR in control, and i fink parents sumtyms dont understand the situatation as much as the person. this is your life! be careful, be wise, pray 2 allah, ask 4 help, ask for support, ask for the best. Inshlah good will come, even if you are 2 marry him/not.

iF I SAID AANYTHING GOOD, MAY ALLAH REAWRD ME AAND THE UMMAH, IF I SAID ANYTHING BAD, PLEASE FORGIV ME, UN-INTENSIONALL.


:sl: :D
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AnonymousPoster
06-20-2007, 09:10 AM
Originally Posted by Gangster No.1
So after all, you are ganna get married 2 a geza who has done this, does he evene Love you? does he evEn REALLy want 2 get married? and does he REALLY want 2 get married 2 U or your MATE?

has his parents forced him 2 get married 2 u, now that all this arguemnet has started between you, your mate and your wanna b husband?


seriously i thnk you shud carefully consider what is right and what isnt. becuz if you do nd up marrying him, ater a few months are gone both of you are ganna fink was i really 2 marry him/her!

if he wants 2 b with your mate more than you, and loves her and she loves him then let them be together, however if he loves you and you love him and then thats diffrent.

talk 2 him, politley ask him want he wants truelly, ask yourself want you want truelly, can you send your life with him for ever, forgetting the past, does he care bout you, why wud he do this in thefirst place!

wotver you decide 2 do, dont ruin yourself, and ruin others with you,

becus, YOUR in control, and i fink parents sumtyms dont understand the situatation as much as the person. this is your life! be careful, be wise, pray 2 allah, ask 4 help, ask for support, ask for the best. Inshlah good will come, even if you are 2 marry him/not.

iF I SAID AANYTHING GOOD, MAY ALLAH REAWRD ME AAND THE UMMAH, IF I SAID ANYTHING BAD, PLEASE FORGIV ME, UN-INTENSIONALL.


:sl: :D
No I didnot say I will marry him..I'm still thinking about it...and I cannot talk to him for the time being, he will influence my decision and I want to make it my own without any persuasion from him..yes he has spoken the truth...he was the one who wanted to get married in the first place and I agreed at that point in time because for us it would be the sensible thing to do if you know what I mean? (I didn't want to keep him as a boyfriend) He is the one who said he wants to marry me, not my mate and he made that decision I had nothing to do with it. Plus your right parents cannot understand the situation as the person, and the only way they think this can be solved is by marriage :rollseyes
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Gangster No.1
06-20-2007, 10:23 AM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
No I didnot say I will marry him..I'm still thinking about it...and I cannot talk to him for the time being, he will influence my decision and I want to make it my own without any persuasion from him..yes he has spoken the truth...he was the one who wanted to get married in the first place and I agreed at that point in time because for us it would be the sensible thing to do if you know what I mean? (I didn't want to keep him as a boyfriend) He is the one who said he wants to marry me, not my mate and he made that decision I had nothing to do with it. Plus your right parents cannot understand the situation as the person, and the only way they think this can be solved is by marriage :rollseyes

:sl:

Does he STILL want get married tho, before the fact that your parents went over to his house.

O.K he asked you 2 marry him, ryt, then you thought yes, but then did he go 2 ya mate and start 2 deal with ther? is that the issue, if so dont get married 2 him. Wo know if he will do it agin, only allah knows best.

rememebr 2 make a decision that you will not regret later on in life.
Its easier 2 marry sum1 else, be patient, inshlah you'll find sum1 more appropraite, women try and look for the best when there the worst themselves, lol.

not talking bout you, but be patient, and be steady, giv it 2/3 weeks before you make you final decision, becus once you married, evrything will change!

for the better/worse

:sl:
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AnonymousPoster
06-20-2007, 10:32 AM
Originally Posted by Gangster No.1
:sl:

Does he STILL want get married tho, before the fact that your parents went over to his house.

O.K he asked you 2 marry him, ryt, then you thought yes, but then did he go 2 ya mate and start 2 deal with ther? is that the issue, if so dont get married 2 him. Wo know if he will do it agin, only allah knows best.

rememebr 2 make a decision that you will not regret later on in life.
Its easier 2 marry sum1 else, be patient, inshlah you'll find sum1 more appropraite, women try and look for the best when there the worst themselves, lol.

not talking bout you, but be patient, and be steady, giv it 2/3 weeks before you make you final decision, becus once you married, evrything will change!

for the better/worse

:sl:
Yes he does even before that, he was actually gonna come to my house but my parents got there first...my mate wanted to get married to him and he went along with it and then :rollseyes he wanted to marry me :? while still engaged to her :raging:
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Gangster No.1
06-20-2007, 11:03 AM
so why and how you anna get maried when he is engaged with her?

what was da sitituation with you and him, and how does she come in?

look rationally speaking now, do yo wanna mary him? does he wana marry you, does you mate wanna marry him? does he still like your mate?

why did he want you mate when he had you?

you need 2 speak 2 him, your mate, and then come 2 a decision, thats all!

seriously do all the things above, and then 2 do what you want.
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Malaikah
06-20-2007, 11:20 AM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
..anyways I swear only to Allah my bad for swearing on my mother....just love her so much :)
:sl:

Does this mean you know it was wrong when you said that you swear by your mothers life, that it is not allowed to say that? Not trying to be picky sis. :X But just in case you didn't know, it is a serious sin to say that. So inshaallah you will avoid it next time.:):thumbs_up

As for your situation, I can't judge him, I don't know enough, it might be that he is just a really good guy who made a mistake, and we all make mistakes, I think you know him better than us. Do you think that this incident reflects his character accurately? Or was he just acting like a confused lost soul who didn't really know what he was doing and didn't intend to harm so many people?
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Hamas
06-20-2007, 11:45 AM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:cry: :cry:

I though he was the one for me....we had so much planned and we were gonna get married...but how could he do this to me?!
He said he loves me...and I told him let's get married...then I found out he's engaged to someone else...and guess what he loves her as well...and she is my friend (was my friend :raging: ) I heard everything he said about me behind my back..calling me a ***** when I never even done anything I swear Allah is my witness I never let him touched me and we never dated, and he wasn't my boy friend, we were not like that...we chose to follow the rules and do this properly...what am I sayin? there is no we nomore!!! :rollseyes :skeleton:
and I love him with all my heart I swear on my mother's life and he let me down when I needed him the most..and yes I'm trying to get over it...it is the only thing I can do :cry: but I swear if I come across him..he will pay....I mean when he found out I knew...he stopped contacting me...never returned my texts or emails, or pick up when I called him...never even said sorry for how things have turned out...and my ex-friend said that she didn't know anything about me and him...and he told her that we had nothing going...he just saw me around it was 'asalaam alaykum', 'waalaykum salaam'...OH :omg: ...yes yes I am really pissed off sorry for swearing on here..he broke my heart...and this quietness is killing me...I have decided..i'm going round his house..I don't care if his parents are there or not...I WONT LEAVE UNTIL I HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR HIS BEHAVIOUR!!! :raging:
Assalamu Alaikum,

Im sorry to hear what you have been going through, im kind of in the same boat myself.

People will give you alot of suggestions and steps to take in order to help you overcome your hardship, maasha Allah.

I would say that maybe it would make it easy for you to just accept everything that is happening to you, have a mentality like oh you want to do this to me? ok, oh you want to do that to me? ok, dont reflect emotionally and dont link your emotions to your head, just accept it, just accept it :)

I hope it helps, JazakAllah.
Reply

AnonymousPoster
06-20-2007, 12:56 PM
Originally Posted by Hamas
Assalamu Alaikum,

Im sorry to hear what you have been going through, im kind of in the same boat myself.

People will give you alot of suggestions and steps to take in order to help you overcome your hardship, maasha Allah.

I would say that maybe it would make it easy for you to just accept everything that is happening to you, have a mentality like oh you want to do this to me? ok, oh you want to do that to me? ok, dont reflect emotionally and dont link your emotions to your head, just accept it, just accept it :)

I hope it helps, JazakAllah.
Easier said than done!!! :cry: :grumbling
Reply

Gangster No.1
06-20-2007, 01:00 PM
lol.
Reply

vpb
06-20-2007, 01:02 PM
okay my parents talked to me and well they said it is my decision if i want to marry him or not so...
I spoke to my friend...she says that she has broken the engagement
just for me...
and she is not upset at all, she says that there plenty of fish in the sea
and this one is mine (as in me not her)
I can't believe she's done that....for me
It seems to be a big sacrifice...and she has shown to be a very honorable friend, may Allah give her the best in life ameen*
sis, I think we have give u a lot of advises, I don't know why is this discussion being continued? what do u want us to say? "marry him" ??? I don't think any thing is needed more to be said, you parents gave u the choice, your friend broke the engangment with him, now it's up to you. How you make the decision we don't know, we don't know you, we don't know him, so we can't say marry or don't marry him. You have the chriterias from Islam for a good husband, now the choice is up to you to judge wether he suits u or not, or wether he is a good man or not.

:w:
Reply

vpb
06-20-2007, 01:06 PM
:sl:

please read this if u have time, i think it's a good article.
http://www.soundvision.com/info/Islam/mar.6adab.asp
Reply

Hamas
06-21-2007, 10:36 AM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
Easier said than done!!! :cry: :grumbling
Assalamu Alaikum,

The sister is going through a rough time and is probably like oh what should i do? where could i go? who do i tell? if nothing happens in her favour regarding her situation then she will have to realise that all she can do in the end is accept everything.

Oh sure its easier said than done but trust me, ive not only just said it but have also done it. If she wants to feel at ease, it will come in to play straight after she accepts what is happening to her.

Let me talk to you directly sister, its not really all that hard to accept something, if your looking for explanations or exscuses inorder to justify things then stop and rather stop yourself from being affected. Feel yourself accepting your misfortune and i promise you will feel better, the balance will be very delicate and you can easily fall back into your previous mental state but the more you go on with your acceptance the easier it will get and the stronger you will become inshaAllah.

Assalamu Alaikum.
Reply

AnonymousPoster
06-21-2007, 11:49 AM
Originally Posted by Hamas
Assalamu Alaikum,

The sister is going through a rough time and is probably like oh what should i do? where could i go? who do i tell? if nothing happens in her favour regarding her situation then she will have to realise that all she can do in the end is accept everything.

Oh sure its easier said than done but trust me, ive not only just said it but have also done it. If she wants to feel at ease, it will come in to play straight after she accepts what is happening to her.

Let me talk to you directly sister, its not really all that hard to accept something, if your looking for explanations or exscuses inorder to justify things then stop and rather stop yourself from being affected. Feel yourself accepting your misfortune and i promise you will feel better, the balance will be very delicate and you can easily fall back into your previous mental state but the more you go on with your acceptance the easier it will get and the stronger you will become inshaAllah.

Assalamu Alaikum.
huh okay :-[
Reply

Hamas
06-21-2007, 12:16 PM
Edit: Please refrain from throwing insults, they are counterproductive, especially in cyber counceling where people come looking for help. This is the second post I see of you like this, third will raise your warning level. Selam aleykum
Reply

AnonymousPoster
06-22-2007, 08:22 AM
Originally Posted by Hamas
Edit: Please refrain from throwing insults, they are counterproductive, especially in cyber counceling where people come looking for help. This is the second post I see of you like this, third will raise your warning level. Selam aleykum
are you talkin 2 me???:rolleyes:
Reply

vpb
06-22-2007, 08:36 AM
:sl:
I don't know what more is needed to be said?? ppl already gave their advices. We don't solve things, which just give advices a little bit to direct you the best way.
Reply

AnonymousPoster
06-22-2007, 08:40 AM
Originally Posted by vpb
:sl:
I don't know what more is needed to be said?? ppl already gave their advices. We don't solve things, which just give advices a little bit to direct you the best way.
I think that is enough...thank you for all your advice :)
:threadclo
Reply

Abdul Fattah
06-22-2007, 02:53 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
are you talkin 2 me???:rolleyes:
No the edit-note was something that I replaced the origenal post of Hamas with. So the messaeg was directed to Hamas himself.
I'll close the thread now on request inshaAllah.
Reply

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