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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2007, 04:50 PM
:sl: everyone. I hope this isnt too gross but I need to vent and ive been holdin this in for a long time and i wish i had told my mom earlier.
When I was little I remember my cuzin used to touch me places where it is completely unacceptable. He used try to make me do stuff and i was only in elementary school and i think he was in junior high. I wasnt any older than 3rd grade. Lets jus say i wasnt old enuff to have much yet :X all these years ive kept it in inside of me only because i was afraid of what my mom would do to me. Little did i realize i was only a child and nothing would have happened to me. if anything. it would have been my cuzin in trouble. He even undressed himself in front me once :cry: I know this isnt a dream becuz i remember it clearly and sometimes i wish it was :cry: I feel so violated and dirty and wonder why it happened to me :cry: I had the guts after so long to tell my mom yesterday. Ive been reserved pretty much since i can remember and Alhumdulillah ive taken on hijab now about 2 yrs ago. And im very thankful to Allah(swt) that He has guided me and am trying my utmost to be a good Muslim, Inshallah. But I hate that I cant forget bout this and its killin me. After i told my mom, she was really furious and asked me why i never told her. my mom was always strict so it made it harder for me to want to tell her. but we talk like friends now and i was able to give myself courage to tell her. She spoke to my aunt and obviously her and my cuzin are calling me liars. Ever since i started hijab, that same cuzin has started respecting me more and because of that i thought maybe he regretted what he did and made tauba. So i figured i'd forgive him and i had. but now i feel like taking it back becuz he's not admitting it and accusing me of lying. My dad and bros dont know and i dont ant them too. but im afraid they will one day. Im so afraid of whatll happen next. Although i know it wasnt my fault i still ask for Allahs forgiveness because i cant come to terms even now with what i went through. I pray that Allah(swt) seeks revenge for me for what i went through and the lies being put on me. I dont know what to do cuz i cant move on from it. Its like a stain on me and my heart. I apologize if its too long but im really upset:cry: And to think i kept it in for so long:cry:
JazakAllah for your time brothers and sisters.

:w:
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H4RUN
06-19-2007, 10:00 PM
:sl:

Sticky situation, when the opposer is accusing you of lying to cover up his tracks and from his point of view keep his dignity intact.

I Guess it's not an issue that you would feel comfortable admitting, he may have thought about the past some time later in his life and figured the mistakes he made and consequently tried to forget that period of time in which this issue was caused..

All in all Alhumdulillah you had the courage to speak up, inshaAllah all shall go well, but you must be aware that if one does not want his past to be known, one will try his best to make u look like the guilty party

May Allah swt guide u all, inshaAllah you'll find a way out, just make dua :)

FiamanAllah
:w:
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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2007, 10:47 PM
Yes I know what you mean which is why I hadn't said anything all these years. But I couldn't hide it from my mom any longer. And it was something that was basically eating me up inside. My aunt was asking my mom if maybe I had seen a "dream." Why would I think like that of my "cousin," whom I considered like a brother. And this has been in my mind since I was little. So why would I as a "child" be thinking in such a way. At times I'd forget about it all but when I think about it, I'd wish I didnt exist. My mom has made up her mind that either that cousin of mine or all of them will never take a step in our house again. My mom was so furious when I told her that shesaid even if he does come, I have to wear socks. What made my mom more furious was she was already going through really tough times with my brothers because one had an eye tumor and the other had a heart problem. So he used to take advantage of me when I'd be around playing with my brothers and other cuz, his younger bro. I used to be afraid to even play cuz I knew he'd come near me. When we used to play hide and seek with the lights off, he would try to take advantage. So when I'd start feelin scared he might come, I would leave the game and sit with my mom. I wish i had the courage then to tell her :cry: I dunno if my dad or bros will come to know. And even if they do, i dunno what will be the outcome. InshaAllah if I know Allah(swt) is by my side and I know He sees everything, it makes me less afraid.
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AnonymousPoster
06-20-2007, 08:59 AM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:sl: everyone. I hope this isnt too gross but I need to vent and ive been holdin this in for a long time and i wish i had told my mom earlier.
When I was little I remember my cuzin used to touch me places where it is completely unacceptable. He used try to make me do stuff and i was only in elementary school and i think he was in junior high. I wasnt any older than 3rd grade. Lets jus say i wasnt old enuff to have much yet :X all these years ive kept it in inside of me only because i was afraid of what my mom would do to me. Little did i realize i was only a child and nothing would have happened to me. if anything. it would have been my cuzin in trouble. He even undressed himself in front me once :cry: I know this isnt a dream becuz i remember it clearly and sometimes i wish it was :cry: I feel so violated and dirty and wonder why it happened to me :cry: I had the guts after so long to tell my mom yesterday. Ive been reserved pretty much since i can remember and Alhumdulillah ive taken on hijab now about 2 yrs ago. And im very thankful to Allah(swt) that He has guided me and am trying my utmost to be a good Muslim, Inshallah. But I hate that I cant forget bout this and its killin me. After i told my mom, she was really furious and asked me why i never told her. my mom was always strict so it made it harder for me to want to tell her. but we talk like friends now and i was able to give myself courage to tell her. She spoke to my aunt and obviously her and my cuzin are calling me liars. Ever since i started hijab, that same cuzin has started respecting me more and because of that i thought maybe he regretted what he did and made tauba. So i figured i'd forgive him and i had. but now i feel like taking it back becuz he's not admitting it and accusing me of lying. My dad and bros dont know and i dont ant them too. but im afraid they will one day. Im so afraid of whatll happen next. Although i know it wasnt my fault i still ask for Allahs forgiveness because i cant come to terms even now with what i went through. I pray that Allah(swt) seeks revenge for me for what i went through and the lies being put on me. I dont know what to do cuz i cant move on from it. Its like a stain on me and my heart. I apologize if its too long but im really upset:cry: And to think i kept it in for so long:cry:
JazakAllah for your time brothers and sisters.

:w:
aaw sis :cry: ..you know you made me remember something similar that happenned to me(i had not forgotten just ignoring it really)...I was only in nursery :cry: the only different thing is that it was my uncle and he was a teenager (who was given the responsibility of baby sitting me as my parents went to work), about the age of 17 at the time..I was only 5 :cry: and I really don't want to go on about what he did to me..I never understood why and he also told me not say anything to my parents because I'll get into trouble..he even said that it was 'natural' and all children go through this, it is a way to make them grow-up +o( and he is my dad's favourite brother..I just can't tell my parents....my mother might believe me but i'm not so sure about my father, and I know he will say its not true..and I was not dreaming either, it happened and I never forgot about it, and I don't think I'll be able to :cry: and the fact that my parents believe I am a virgin they don't know the truth (that he ruined me)...and as a muslim men prefer to marry virgins and I am getting married soon but i did find the courage to tell my fiance this and explained it to him (he was furious, not at me though) but i told him not to say or do anything , Allah will punish my uncle for his bad deeds...and as I was young, innocent, I was not at fault..and this has made me stronger in life alhamdulillah
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Gangster No.1
06-20-2007, 10:03 AM
:cry: :sl:

Astagfuralh, ya allah help this Ummah from Haram.

:sl:

After I read the posts, i feel so angry and upset, why becuz this is outragrages, I can only say what i feel, but I wud do more than just beat the crap out of the persons who do such a thing, and 2 a muslim, 2 ones own blood, astagfuralh!

Seriously this is a serious issue!

basically you need sum1 like me, like your own blood 2 go 2 the peson who done this, and then kill them nearly! in other words beat the crap out of them UNTIL they are NEARLY GANNA DIE.

sISTERS, i am not joking here, If i was your father, brother, or son, I wud head STARIGHT 2 there house, and do what I got do!


any way, obvisouly I am not related or in connection with any of you, BUT i wud do it if you were 2 ask me.


What you need 2 realise is that, when you were little and this happened, you were naive, you dint no, undertsand, However the person commiting the outrages haram crime, actually new what he was doing, he new that you dint understand, he took advantage becuase he was mature, THERFORE he did it, without HESITATION!

Again Astagfuralh!


I fel for yu sisters, seriously i have sisters and i dont no what I wud do if any thing like that ever happened!

and your father or bro wudnt hestitate 2 take ACTION.

My dua is with you, may allah make you strong, and may allah do as he likes 2 those who do such haram crime.




:sl: :cry:


p.s if there any thing i cud do, just say.
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AnonymousPoster
06-20-2007, 10:17 AM
Originally Posted by Gangster No.1
:cry: :sl:

Astagfuralh, ya allah help this Ummah from Haram.

:sl:

After I read the posts, i feel so angry and upset, why becuz this is outragrages, I can only say what i feel, but I wud do more than just beat the crap out of the persons who do such a thing, and 2 a muslim, 2 ones own blood, astagfuralh!

Seriously this is a serious issue!

basically you need sum1 like me, like your own blood 2 go 2 the peson who done this, and then kill them nearly! in other words beat the crap out of them UNTIL they are NEARLY GANNA DIE.

sISTERS, i am not joking here, If i was your father, brother, or son, I wud head STARIGHT 2 there house, and do what I got do!


any way, obvisouly I am not related or in connection with any of you, BUT i wud do it if you were 2 ask me.


What you need 2 realise is that, when you were little and this happened, you were naive, you dint no, undertsand, However the person commiting the outrages haram crime, actually new what he was doing, he new that you dint understand, he took advantage becuase he was mature, THERFORE he did it, without HESITATION!

Again Astagfuralh!


I fel for yu sisters, seriously i have sisters and i dont no what I wud do if any thing like that ever happened!

and your father or bro wudnt hestitate 2 take ACTION.

My dua is with you, may allah make you strong, and may allah do as he likes 2 those who do such haram crime.




:sl: :cry:


p.s if there any thing i cud do, just say.
thanx bro...thats really nice but I wud leave this matter to Allah..I am ashamed to even call him 'uncle'..and I know he knows and remembers..but he thinks I've probably forgotten :raging: ..I just hate it when I see him I feel like taking a knife and stubbing him right in his heart but I aint no murderer and even if I had the courage I would do such a thing, but thank you for offering bro :thumbs_up
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Gangster No.1
06-20-2007, 11:06 AM
safe.

but listen, dont leave it here, you need 2 do sumet, its GOOD you told your mum.

your mum is the best option, like you said your mum isnt ganna allow the familly 2 come 2 yur house agin, thats good!

i feel for you.
may allah help you, me, and the ummah, inshlah
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IbnAbdulHakim
06-20-2007, 11:15 AM
may Allahs mercy envelop both of you... wallahi i hope you go to the highest places of jannah for having sabr through these hardships.

please do not despair of Allah, he was watching, and he will take everything into account.

may Allah grant us all sabr Ameen !
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rozeena
06-20-2007, 11:17 AM
hello sister. hw old was ur cuzun
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AnonymousPoster
06-20-2007, 03:04 PM
:sl:

i dunt know how old he was, i dunt even kno his age now lol...but i think he was in junior high. at least thats what my mom told me. he is older den me definitely. and thanks everyne for your help. wallahi it makes me feel better :cry: JazakAllah for all your du'as. And thanks sis for sharin your story. it reminds me that im not the only one.

:w:
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jzcasejz
06-20-2007, 05:17 PM
Sorry to hear about this...really sad. =[

But anyways...this post from my Bro here was really good Alhamdulillaah:

Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
may Allahs mercy envelop both of you... wallahi i hope you go to the highest places of jannah for having sabr through these hardships.

please do not despair of Allah, he was watching, and he will take everything into account.

may Allah grant us all sabr Ameen !
Great to hear you're feeling kinda better now. :thumbs_up Keep making Du'a InshaAllaah.

May Allaah (SWT) help us all.
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-21-2007, 01:52 AM
Ameen to the Du'as and Inshallah Allah is on your side sister :)
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AnonymousPoster
06-21-2007, 01:55 AM
:sl:

Once again, thank you everyone...you guys are wonderful :statisfie. Ameen to the all the Du'as and may Allah(swt) bless you all immensely fo taking the time to help any one of us out, Mashallah.

:w:
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AnonymousPoster
06-22-2007, 08:45 AM
Originally Posted by rozeena
hello sister. hw old was ur cuzun
he woz 17/18
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AnonymousPoster
06-22-2007, 08:46 AM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
he woz 17/18
i got confused...i fort u were askin how old woz my uncle :embarrass
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-22-2007, 03:43 PM
^^lol sis :) InshaAllah everything will be good.
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chand
06-25-2007, 05:37 PM
:sl:
i have a friend whos been throught the same thing as you have. when she was 11 her cuzin started touching her aswell and all shes told me is that she blames herself. at that age we cant really see whats right and wrong and because she was raised in a strict family she didnt know what was happening was haram and anyway her parents found out and her mom believd her but her dad didnt and when they confronted the guy he denied it first and then admitted it, but by this time my friend already felt like **** becuase her dad didnt believe her. now everyday her parents fight and what happened to her seems to be the cause and they always remind her.all she wants to do is forget but her parents dont let her and now im sad to say shes tking a bad route to deal with all the anger and guilt shes feeling inside.. she used to cut herself but thankfully she stopped and now she smokes, not just fags..shes told me that shes asked for forgiveness but yet she cant find peace inside herself...:cry:

what can i do to help her? - sorry i havnt said anything to help you...
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Skywalker
06-25-2007, 06:06 PM
:sl: sister,

U said ur cousin was in junior high when this happened...and to be fair, that's a little young for a person to be held accountable for their actions. I know junior high is when a lot of boys enter puberty, so you could say that it's almost natural, especially due to media influence these days, for him to want to explore his sexuality. I'm not making excuses for him, but I think it's quite possible that he did what he did because shaytan got to him for a while back then, but since you didn't mention that this went any further, and that this was only once and not repeated, then I think that there's a good possibility that he regrets what happened and wishes he hadn't done that.

I think it's right that you told your mother about it, and it would've been better if you'd told her at the time when it happened. But right now it's kind of messy. I mean how can his parents punish him for something he did when he was little and misguided? Also, if he did become a good person now, you bringing this into the light might ruin his reputation and make him feel like a villain...and shaytan uses these feelings to push people away from iman.

Basically what I would do if I was in your position, I would tell my parents about it, but also mention that it was a long time ago and that you were embarassed to talk about it. Since you also mentioned that you already told his parents, then it's best that the two parents sit down together with u and the boy, have him apologize, and in turn make an agreement to not talk about this again with ANYONE, that the case is closed, so that nobody's reputation is ruined any further and to give possibility to live a normal life.

Al7amdulilah what happened to you wasn't as serious as what could've happened, and I totally sympathize with you in this situation. No child should be exposed to that. But if you ever want to feel ok, you have to forgive and forget, and praise Allah that it wasn't as bad as it could've been.

That's the best advice I can give in this "messy situation". :) May Allah let this situation get by quickly and may He help you in your life. Ameen.

:w:
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Yanal
06-26-2007, 04:11 AM
Asalam alkum that is harsh to hear i think you told right and i hope everything is fine can i tell a moderator if i am right to close this thread now :threadclo
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