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F.Y.
08-19-2005, 02:23 PM
:sl:

Where do I begin? This may come as a shock to some of you (as it was to me), but I don't know, maybe you could give me some advice.
The other day i met with a friend of mine at my university prayer room. It was just a general chat but then she started talking about marriage. She's 21.
She is interested in some guy in one of her classes, who is not muslim. He has liked her for ages (she said since last year!!) but she has just ignored him (being religious alhamdualillah) and he has realised that with her being a muslim woman - he should leave her alone. Apparently he still likes her coz she said he keeps lookin at her, but he is also shy to talk to her.

She said that she liked his decency for doing what he did - (not coming up and chattin her up). She then said (shock horror) that she reckons she should talk to this guy in a public place, know what he is like ("without being flirtatious" - if thats gonna be possible!) and then tell him exactly what she thinks - that she's interested in marrying him, but he would have to become a muslim. I asked her how she was gonna do all this and she said that she'd give him information through dvd's, literature, etc. She mentioned that she wouldnt 'make him' become a muslim but give him a choice. if he said he wouldnt become a muslim after reading the information and stuff about Islam, she'd leave him alone and not bother. But if he agreed to be muslim, she'd tell her parents and things would go from there.She asked me what I think she should do.
It seemed a little far-fetched to me....but I didnt know what to say to her.

Can anyone, anywhere give me some advice on what to say to her? I am just tongue-tied when i go near her, coz i just dont know what to say. :zip: I'm stressin out for her coz she seems rather confused too!

May Allah reward you for your advice.
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TEH
08-19-2005, 02:29 PM
Marriage is a big thing, she should tell her parents about this ideally. And about the guy, tell her to get a Muslim bro to talk to this guy for her, to teach him about Islam. Then if he does decide to convert, tell him to convert, if he can do it for 6 months and he can hack being a Muslim, without her, then yes she should get married to him. The reason you do that of course if because you dont know if he converts for her or Allah...

:)
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sadia
08-19-2005, 02:38 PM
i agree, getting a muslim bro to talk to the guy and actually find out for her how he is like, and what she actually is expecting from him.
but i wish your frend the best of luck. because the lord knows best.
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F.Y.
08-19-2005, 03:10 PM
indeed Allah does know best! Thanks so much for the advice - you have no idea how much it's going to help me to help her. If anyone else can give more suggestions they would also be more than welcome.
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Far7an
08-19-2005, 04:42 PM
Assalamu alaikum

If all she wants to do is "give him information through dvd's, literature, etc." Then there is no need for her personally to hand these over to the individual, she can get someone else, a brother from the Prayer room to talk to him inshaAllah.

Tell the brothers about this guy, and to provide him with neccassary material and also talk to him.

If this individual is sincere and wants to learn about Islam he will accept the offer of learning about Islam from the brothers. However if the sister approaches him there is a chance that , he may just accept to please her.

and Allah knows best..
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Far7an
08-19-2005, 04:45 PM
Assalamu alaikum

Another important issue which was mentioned by Br. TEH is the parents, they need to be informed too InshaAllah.

We may not, often agree with their actions, but they posses wisdom which at times will benefit us greatly InshaAllah.
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Ummu Amatullah
08-19-2005, 05:01 PM
Asallama Alaikum sis.You're talking about being tongue-tied.So am I right this minute.Well,like the bro's said previously get another very intelligent muslim brother to talk to him.You don't want to get one which doesn't even know anything about the religion do you?If Allah wills he can talk some sense into the bro.Don't worry sis it's very common.Most of the time the brother ends up converting and they live happily ever after.Yes,parents of course really a big issue when it comes to marriage.The best thing to do would be consulting the parents and to get their approval.First convert the bro then talk to the parents.Like I said i'm tongue-tied and have nothing further to say.Hope I did,but unfortunely don't :sorry:
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Bittersteel
08-19-2005, 05:05 PM
Muslim girl marrying non muslim...well I don't know but I dont like it.she may leave Islam.
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Far7an
08-19-2005, 05:09 PM
Assalamu alaikum
Originally Posted by Abdul Aziz
Muslim girl marrying non muslim...well I don't know but I dont like it.she may leave Islam.
If you read the whole post, you will come to realise she does not intend on marrying him, if he does not embrace Islam.
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F.Y.
08-20-2005, 10:17 AM
Excellent!
Im so glad there are bro's/sis's out there willing to help. I told her a few of these suggestions and she fully agrees. except there's one thing....she said she is just nervous coz it would be so random to get a muslim brother to go up to a guy he doenst even know and just start talking about Islam. I know it's our duty but shouldnt he be-friend the non-muslim guy and give dawa through his good manners and just general good natured chit-chat first?
Or should he go up to the non-muslim and say 'hey, there's this girl and she likes you and she wantes you to be a muslim, so come over to the prayer room and i'll help you out..."

I know this is so tedious for you guys but my friend is genuinely concerned about the details about how to go about doing this.
Any advice at all would be much, much, much appreciated!
Jazakallah to all of you. May Allah fulfil all your dua's, ameen.
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madeenahsh
08-20-2005, 01:58 PM
Asalaam alykum warahmatuallahi wabarakatuh.


Allaah, The Exalted said: " Say you (O Muhammad): " This is my way; I invite unto Allaah (i.e. to the Oneness of Allaah – Islamic Monotheism) (with sure knowledge), I and whosoever follows me (also must invite others to Allaah i.e. the Oneness of Allaah -Islamic Monotheism) with sure knowledge. And Glorified and Exalted is Allaah (above all they associate as partners with Him), and I am not of the polytheists." (Al Qur’an 12:108)

Ibn Abas (a companion of the Messenger of Allaah narrated: When Allaah’s Messenger sent Mu’adh to Yemen, he said, " You will come upon the people of the book (Christians and Jews), let your first act be to call them to testify that - There is nothing worthy of worship in truth but Allaah." (Al Bukhari #1389)







SubhanAllah Hardly have ilm May Allah subhanwa Ta'aAllah forgive me for advicing u incorrectly Dearest sis fi deen
Ist thing the Brother best to do is to call him to
TAWHEED: Islaamic Monotheism - The Oneness of God


How to do this I learnt from lessons of , Dr Saleh al Saleh .. He said we do this without Intruding we use Hikma and patiency great DEAL of Sabr is needed here. As u mentiond he doesnt rush or push him or shower him with questions and cal him to masjid right away, he uses wisdom and sabr maybe hands him few Tawheed Articles and become extra friendly without going overboard ofcoz.

The Point sista Shukri Made SubhanAllah very intelligent .. we need to send a bro who is well educated atleast knows rules of Tawheed and its foundations and principles and not just someone who doesn know his deen, A bro who knows what he will be facing (Hardship) Allah knows best . Someone who is willing to take Insults maybe or atleast who is prepared to face "The Kafir Guy" without failing to deliver the correct msg for the sake of Allah subhanwa Ta'Allah
As for the sis she also need to have Sabr in this its not a matter of few days or months Allah knows best. Her Kindness and concern is MashaAllah very solid that she is prepard to try and revert this guy for the sake of Allah subhanawa Ta'Allah.MashaAllah.

May Allah subhanwa Ta'aAllah make it easy for All who are Willing to make this effort and reward you greatly by blessing you to succeed in this mission. SubhanAllah !
Barakatuallahi feekh
Wasallam alykum
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F.Y.
08-20-2005, 02:55 PM
I feel so overwhelmed with all the positive comments from everybody. Again, I'm so glad there's somebody out there to help. Allah knows we need it.

Please feel free to keep responding.
Make dua for my friend and the non-muslim guy.
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libyanhero
08-20-2005, 03:13 PM
well here is a negative...lol its best for her to marry a muslim, I won't make it wrong but for a women marrying a non muslim, I have never come accross a hadith or anything that says a women can marry a non muslim in Islam, only if he becomes a muslim but still beware of those muslim decievers that we have in society just to astray people so in our time now its best to protect ourselves from indecency
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TEH
08-20-2005, 08:53 PM
Thats why, you let him be a muslim for a good six months and see if he can hack it first...

:D
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F.Y.
08-23-2005, 10:36 AM
My friend said she has done Istakhara for guidance from Allah (swt) to make sure she is doing the right thing in going ahead with this goal to revert the guy. It has turned out positive.
Guess she should really go ahead with the plans?
She's scared. (I would be too!)

Anyway, it doesn't matter who replies, I'm sure she'd be grateful for anything.

Peace.
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sadia
08-23-2005, 10:43 AM
well as muslims we shud be there for one another. so all i do is i wish her the best, but at the end of the day its not in no one's control of wot happens. the lord knows best.
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TEH
08-23-2005, 01:19 PM
Originally Posted by F.Y.
My friend said she has done Istakhara for guidance from Allah (swt) to make sure she is doing the right thing in going ahead with this goal to revert the guy. It has turned out positive.
Guess she should really go ahead with the plans?
She's scared. (I would be too!)

Anyway, it doesn't matter who replies, I'm sure she'd be grateful for anything.

Peace.
So erm, is she gonna give Dawah to the guy???

:confused:
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F.Y.
08-24-2005, 03:31 AM
No, i think she has listened to the advice you bro's and sis's have so kindly given. She's actually going to get a brother from the prayer room to talk to the guy.

Thank you all so much. She (and I) are very grateful for all your help.
May Allah reward you heaps!!
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libyanhero
11-23-2005, 07:40 PM
I won't agree for a non-muslim guy to marry a muslim girl even though he says he is now a muslim even for six months or 12 months unless there was like some known brother living with him or has close ties some people say their muslim but their deceivers they want to take you out of being a muslim, and drive you nuts.

The Dajjal(Anti-Christ) is going to be among muslims and probably protrays himself as one but in reality he is a great deceiver and lier, and we are told in Islam

So becareful ppl out there
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Danish
11-24-2005, 07:05 PM
:sl:
According to islam, muslim girl CANT marry a non-muslim
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Umm Yoosuf
11-24-2005, 10:00 PM
Tell the sister to stay away from him. Sisters are not might to chit chat with non-Mahrams. No point liking him if he hasn't got the quality of a Muslim even worst is that he is not a Muslim!
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TEH
11-24-2005, 10:57 PM
Originally Posted by libyanhero
I won't agree for a non-muslim guy to marry a muslim girl even though he says he is now a muslim even for six months or 12 months unless there was like some known brother living with him or has close ties some people say their muslim but their deceivers they want to take you out of being a muslim, and drive you nuts.
Do you think perhaps your generalising there, just a bit...

And erm, about the Dajjal, do you have a source for that???

:)
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F.Y.
11-25-2005, 09:07 AM
For crying out loud. People are not reading the query properly. She WILL NOT marry him if he is NOT a muslim. Please dont keep repeating "It is not allowed for a muslim girl to marry a non-muslim." She already knows this. And she wouldnt do it.

I am surprised that this thread has restarted after so long...
Peace.
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Bittersteel
11-25-2005, 09:16 AM
If you read the whole post, you will come to realise she does not intend on marrying him, if he does not embrace Islam.
women are well...women.
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Tasneem
12-04-2005, 01:05 AM
Tell ur friend that she should tell her parents before asking the boy to come into islam.
Then if everything works out then she should get her father to talk to him and things will go from there.
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