should I...

[anonymous]

:sl:

I'm at an age now where i'm thinking about marriage, and although i want to and have considered some brothers, i feel unsettled about a certain issue. This issue being wether or not i should tell the person i'm considering about my bad past, I won't bother you all with details but along the lines of abuse.
I'm told you must inform him, and others inform me that only after marriage you should inform him. I for one would personally like to tell the person as it has had a great effect on me...more positive than negative alhamdulilah. I think it would help him understand me better and i would feel like i'm cheating him in some way if i didn't....but...when?

:w:

[rozeena]

:sl:

I'm at an age now where i'm thinking about marriage, and although i want to and have considered some brothers, i feel unsettled about a certain issue. This issue being wether or not i should tell the person i'm considering about my bad past, I won't bother you all with details but along the lines of abuse.
I'm told you must inform him, and others inform me that only after marriage you should inform him. I for one would personally like to tell the person as it has had a great effect on me...more positive than negative alhamdulilah. I think it would help him understand me better and i would feel like i'm cheating him in some way if i didn't....but...when?

:w:

assalam alaikum sis, i personaly think u shud tell him before marriage cus then u'll knw wt he feels about it etc and atleast u have told him sooo its not like u were keeping it from him if u knw wt i mean. if u dnt mind me askin is it abuse from family?

[.:Umniyah:.]

I dont know if this relates to you at all, but i saw the tittle and thought back to your question, InshaaAllah it helps

Asking about a persons past..

[anonymous]

assalam alaikum sis, i personaly think u shud tell him before marriage cus then u'll knw wt he feels about it etc and atleast u have told him sooo its not like u were keeping it from him if u knw wt i mean. if u dnt mind me askin is it abuse from family?

:sl:

on one occasion, yes sister.

jazakallah kahir umniyah for the link

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[Rafeeq]

Do not tell him , if it can be avaoided, avoid and forget about your past. Think / concentrate on your future.
good luck

[tryinghard]

Asalamu alaikum sister,

I know this is hard, but I think it's best not to keep this hidden from your husband or future husband. You should not feel compelled to tell him everything and in alot of detail, but just enough so that he may understand how they have affected you. After all, this isn't some sin that you have hidden from him and will affect his whole perception of you! This was not your fault at all. And if he is a good man, which I'm sure he will be inshallah, he will understand and be supportive. but, more than that, you will be relieved to have this burden off of you. Hope this helps.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^^I totally agree! And InshaAllah, since your not at fault, he will understand you :)

[saira-k]

yeah i agree..tell him so he knows..its not ur fault.so dw :)