Ive tried so hard to get you back

[Hamas]

Assalamu Aalikum,

Ive tried so hard in the past few months to get you back but it seems that you dont want to come back to me. Before the case was that your parents would never agree to our marriage but now you yourself dont agree to marry me. Before you accepted that nothing will happen between us but atleast you did want me so we couldve worked it out together but the fact is that you no longer feel what you felt for me. I dont understand where you get the strength to stay away from me.

I just want you back so much, when you speak of whats right, i feel so much at peace, free from your worries. Your leaving me now and everything is begining to crumble down around me

Everybody look, shes leaving me, tell her to come back to me, i cant live without her.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i hope Allah grants you a pious wife bro :)

[Hamas]

I dont want a pious wife i just want her. Everybody please can you bring her to me? plz plz plz

[Hamas]

She leaves me no choice but to turn up at her doorstep and take on her whole family. Its just because im so dumb, i have no education, no degrees or fancy phd's and shes so smart thats why they dont want me but i dont understand y she dosnt want me anymore. Please this isnt a joke, plz help me everybody

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[Muezzin]

Um.. I'm going to move this to cyber counselling, in light of the fact that you are seriously asking for help.

[Hamas]

123

[Hamas]

What should i do?

[rozeena]

r u guys engaged or wat?

[Hamas]

No wer not engaged or anything but i want to marry her but she dosnt want me anymore, no matter how much i try to get her back she wont come back she will never come back, im jus thinkin should i go to her house and confront her family? should i continue to try and convince her to come back to me? what should i do?

[rozeena]

has she told her family bout u? ask her y she doesnt wnt u?has she gt sum1 else?

[Hamas]

has she told her family bout u? ask her y she doesnt wnt u?has she gt sum1 else?

Thats what i keep asking her have u found sum1else? but she says no but i have feeking that she has or atleast close to gettin close to someone sometimes she says she wishes that was the case that she found sum1else and that kills me so much

[Muslim Woman]

salaam;

pl. offer Ishthekhara prayer & Ask Allah to help u to take the right decision .

Also , pl. don't ever say that--I dont want a pious wife .

Do u know among all the wealths Allah created in this world , the best wealth for men is a pious wife ?

[Hamas]

has she told her family bout u? ask her y she doesnt wnt u?has she gt sum1 else?

Hey im waiting for your response, no i dont think her family knows, what should i do?

[Hamas]

Dosnt nobody want to advise me on what to do? why did you create the section for then?

[Intisar]

Salaama Alaykum brother,

Show her that you really love her and you're willing to do anything so that you can be with her.

I don't get why she doesn't want you anymore though. Can you elaborate?

W/Salaam

[Hamas]

Salaama Alaykum brother,

Show her that you really love her and you're willing to do anything so that you can be with her.

I don't get why she doesn't want you anymore though. Can you elaborate?

W/Salaam

Elaborate? well she says she dosnt want me anymore and she dosnt want to see me anymore, she used to love me and i still love her, i just dont understand, where she draws the strength to stay away from me?

My imagination runs so wild sometimes, i cant bear her with another guy i cant bear her in another guys arms i really cant, i really cant.

What should i do? how do i forget her? she always laughs at somethings i say like im so hurt im in so much pain and i cant believe she laughs at me. I know there is something that made her change i just want to know what it is but theres no way i can find out, i cant do anything but cope with her agonizing sarcasm and the frustration of her absence. please help me everyone i dont know what to do? what the hell do i do?

[Intisar]

Woah! She laughs at you? And she all of a sudden decided that she doesn't love you anymore? A little irrational to say the least. You said before that you want to talk to her parents, and I think that's a good idea. You should also talk to her as well and see where she's coming from. Even if she doesn't want to talk to you, tell her it's not far on her part and that the pain she's putting you through is more than agonizing.

[Hamas]

Woah! She laughs at you? And she all of a sudden decided that she doesn't love you anymore? A little irrational to say the least. You said before that you want to talk to her parents, and I think that's a good idea. You should also talk to her as well and see where she's coming from. Even if she doesn't want to talk to you, tell her it's not far on her part and that the pain she's putting you through is more than agonizing.

Im sorry i dont understand, what exactly do you mean by "A little irrational to say the least"

[Intisar]

The fact that she just told you that she doesn't love you anymore is irrational.

Brother, it's obvious you're deeply in love with this girl..lol you're very frantic and I say, talk to her parents first and tell them what's up. Then talk to her, and ask her what made her all of a sudden not love you anymore. That makes absolutely no sense anyways, it takes a lot to give yourself away and to love someone and in a split second she decideds she doesn't. :\

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I dont want a pious wife i just want her.

bro why you saying this for... think clearly for a second...

[InToTheRain]

:sl:

To be blunt bro Hamaz, you did something Haram and now you are suffering the consequences for it those actions. its like having a drink, getting drunk, getting addicted and then saying how your life falls apart due to having it and also not having it.
I have seen brothers who suffered as you have and they learnt from their mistakes and moved on, they realised marriage is the foundation required for such relationships, without it the slightest problems in such a relationship will lead to chaos. If she doesn't want to marry you then her parents/family won't matter will they? she can't be forced. Just move on, as they say, there are plenty of fishes in the sea.

Let this be a lesson to all, the laws of Allah(SWT) are made to protect us and for our own good even though we cannot comprehend it at times.

[786rani]

great post bro.
rani

[------]

:salamext:

Brother I seriously advise you to do Istikhara. Please.

[AnonymousPoster]

JazaakAllaah Khayr to Brother WnbSlveOfAllah for that post. May Allah (SWT) reward him.

And Brother Hamas, alot of people have been through that 'Oh no, I don't want anyone else, she's the one for me' period. You need to have Sabr and give it time.

[.:Umniyah:.]

:salamext:

Allahu akbar!

JazakAllahu khaiiiiiiiiiiir akhi for being the better slave and putting forth truth , no matter how people sometimes react to it. DEF! rep for this post.

Wallahi its truth, when we go agaisnt what Allah and his messenger has sent as command and rule for us, we only go through hard times and there is NO ease, except with the remembrance of Allah.

Instead of posting up on LI brother you would be much better off getting up in the third of the night and making to Allah for forgiveness for being with a women whom you arent married to. That is better for the slave of Allah. Instead of seeking our help and aid, get up and pray in the night and call on the one who changes and guides the hearts of mankind, Allah, Al Jabbar!

All this time youre spending pondering over a girl who isnt helping you at all, you could spend that time reflecting upon Allah, and your living and dying.

Instead of busying yourself with her and how you dont have her, its better for you to thank Allah for taking her away , seeing how you werent married to her and thus commiting sin , by being with a women whom you arent married to. Look at that as a rahmah from Allah subhanahu wa ta'la instead of a bad thing.

May Allah clear your sight and make you see properly again, and aid you unto what is truth and good. Allahuma ameen.

:wasalamex:

:sl:

To be blunt bro Hamaz, you did something Haram and now you are suffering the consequences for it those actions. its like having a drink, getting drunk, getting addicted and then saying how your life falls apart due to having it and also not having it.
I have seen brothers who suffered as you have and they learnt from their mistakes and moved on, they realised marriage is the foundation required for such relationships, without it the slightest problems in such a relationship will lead to chaos. If she doesn't want to marry you then her parents/family won't matter will they? she can't be forced. Just move on, as they say, there are plenty of fishes in the sea.

Let this be a lesson to all, the laws of Allah(SWT) are made to protect us and for our own good even though we cannot comprehend it at times.

[Yanal]

I dont want a pious wife i just want her. Everybody please can you bring her to me? plz plz plz

Just pray to allah that you get a wife like her and how can we bring her back to you you have to face the truth tell your parents and if they do not allow you you will haev to do something for example say please if they still don't say yes you have to just get long with your life

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

after offering Ishthekhara prayer , if u feel positive about going further , then talk to ur parent .

Request them to send marriage proposal to her parent.

IF they & she gives consent , then Alhamdulillah , if their ans is NO , then pl have patience & try to forget everything. U can't force anyone to marry u ....does not matter how much u love her. She has a right to accept or refuse ur proposal....Allah gave her that right & u can't object.

If u don't have any control over urself , then pl. go to a professional psychiatrist & take his help .

Also , keep praying to Allah to bless u with a pious wife .

verses for this life & the life hereafter :

Say: "Truly, my prayer and my rituals, my life and my death, are (all) for Allah, the Cherisher of the Worlds

Al-An`am 6:162

[rozeena]

Hey im waiting for your response, no i dont think her family knows, what should i do?

u shud jus let her go if she doesnt want u.dts wt i fink anyway.

[Hamas]

Assalamu Alaikum

Brothers and Sisters i know what you mean and i know where your comming from.

It feels like you guys are putting me down but its ok. you guys can put me down and make fun of me and everything but please dont outcast me i just want to be within the brotherhood.

I say to her plz dont leave me but she dosnt want to know, she dosnt want to see me or talk to me ever again, its so hard for me to stay away from her but il try my best. Please help me

[------]

Please help me

:salamext:

MAKE ISTIKHARAH BROTHER.

http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...-guidance.html

And ask help from Allaah swt.

If u have any desires, then try fasting to get rid of them Inshaa Allaah.

[.:Umniyah:.]

Brother, this isnt an attempt to put you down, wallahi its not. this IS our trying to HELP you. By trying to get you to see the bigger picture, and see the reality of your situation.

Us telling you what you may want to hear isnt going to help you at all. The better thing for you is to tell you what is the reality and what is good for your living and dying because that is what matters.

This is our attempt to bring you into the brotherhood, by being your brothers andsisters and reminding you of what Allah has said, and what you need to do and what is best for you.

May Allah make your situation easy Ameen

[IbnAbdulHakim]

It feels like you guys are putting me down but its ok. you guys can put me down and make fun of me and everything but please dont outcast me i just want to be within the brotherhood.

putting you down would be insulting you and degrading you, laa i see you as my brother, and as my brother i tell you that your heart shouldnt be aching like this, this isnt love, this is just pain. Love is felt truelly after marriage, bro why not give up the haram and await Allahs reward?

I say to her plz dont leave me but she dosnt want to know, she dosnt want to see me or talk to me ever again, its so hard for me to stay away from her but il try my best. Please help me

bro this is the perfect opportunity to cry out to Allah. Wallahi'l azeem if you cry out to Allah with a pure intention then Allah will respond, and the response you get will amaze you. The response might not happen within a week, maybe not even in a month, but have patience and keep calling. You'll get beautiful results inshaAllah, inna ma'al usri yusa - verily after hardship comes ease

[umm-sulaim]

Hamas another thing with girls sometimes.....if u seem desperate n really persistant they don't really like that, but by all means if u want her make istikhaara, seek advice n go to her family akhee...the barakah's in followin the kitaab n sunnah , put your trust in Allaah, he knows what's best for you.

[AnonymousPoster]

Asalamu alaikum brother,
Please do not think that anyone is putting you down. Everyone here is trying to help you see that first of all, this is not the end of the world and that the only Islamically permitted union between a man and woman is marriage. That being said, you should pray to Allah SWT for guidance. Perhaps He will make things work out. If not remember this: "And it may be that you hate a thing which is good for you and that you love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know." (2:21)

Im sorry that things have not worked out the way you wanted to, but whatever her reasons are, you cannot change her mind if she does not want to. And although it may seem right now that nothing will change, you will change and you will be able to move on. I know that might not seem so encouraging right now.

[AnonymousPoster]

This story may help your case, its nice.

Once, there was this guy, who was in love with a gal. She wasn't the most beautiful and gorgeous but for him, she was everything.



He used to dream about her, about spending the rest of life with her. His friends told him, "why do you dream so much about her, when you don't even know if she loves you or not? First tell her your feelings, and get to know if she likes you or not".




He felt that was the right way. The girl knew from the beginning, that this guy loves her. One day when he proposed, she rejected him.



His friends thought he would take to alcohol; drugs etc. and ruin his life.



To their surprise, he was not depressed.



When they asked him how was it that he is not sad, he replied, "'why should I feel bad? I lost one who never loved me & she lost the one who really loved and cared for her."

Get over it.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ Amazing Story!

Jazakallah Khair :d :d

[Hamas]

Assalamu Alaikum,

My dear respected brothers and sisters, did i not say that i will surely find out why she has changed so much? now i know why shes been like this, she has indeed found someone else and has been seeing him. Im totally broken, my heart has been broken, my mind has broken and my sense of disbelief has been broken. She is so dazzled at how i know and there still is a slight denial in her. My dear brothers and sisters before i said when i think of her in another guys arms i go so crazy and it kills me so much but now i know for sure there is another guy, do you have any idea of what im going through now?

JazakAllah.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

assalaamu alaikum

then isnt it time to harden your heart towards that which Allah hates and soften it towards that which Allah loves? :)

at times like these it helps to be around young children....

[AnonymousPoster]

Assalamu Alaikum,

My dear respected brothers and sisters, did i not say that i will surely find out why she has changed so much? now i know why shes been like this, she has indeed found someone else and has been seeing him. Im totally broken, my heart has been broken, my mind has broken and my sense of disbelief has been broken. She is so dazzled at how i know and there still is a slight denial in her. My dear brothers and sisters before i said when i think of her in another guys arms i go so crazy and it kills me so much but now i know for sure there is another guy, do you have any idea of what im going through now?

JazakAllah.

:sl:

Yeah, i have a very good idea of what u are going through.

[Hamas]

Assalamu Alaikum,

Hey im the one in pain here. can everybody rediect their attention towards me please

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:giggling: ... Ok, here's my shoulder.

Come on grow up!! Why is it that people are sooo :X when stuff like this happens to them?

lol for real its all about falling in love with Allah innit bro :shade:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Assalamu Alaikum,

Hey im the one in pain here. can everybody rediect their attention towards me please

we are helpin you bro, look if you was here in real life i would seriously take you to a masjid or somethin and just talk with you,

[Hamas]

Its like that my brothers, your going to laugh at me and make fun of me?
Thanks for your shoulders but i dont want to lean on your shoulders but being guys you can help me in other ways but forget it.

Its not the average pain that she gave me is it? shes with another guy, imagine what im going through, As bizarre as it may sound theres this girl see and im going to go to her and hope to get some ease, by saying this i dont want to lose any chance of HER comming back to me because she does have access to this forum, shes the one who made me join and shes probably on right now,

How can i dare to expect any ease or peace of heart when i am not even in the shade and mercy of the Almighty. Allah hu Akabar.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ bro :) why dont you repend and ask Allah for his comfort? :)

seriously try it inshaAllah :)

[.:Umniyah:.]

:salamext:

Brother, the point that those brothers are making is that it seems like no matter how much we say and advise you keep saying the same thing over and over.

Its almost like you dont even want the advice, you just want us to sit and listen to what 'shes' done to you and feel sorry for you when in reality we arent going to do that because anytime you do something haraam, in other than how Allah subhanahu wa ta'la has commaned us to do it, then we encounter hardship. So this is yours. Instead of calling out to us m call out to the one who can make a difference. Allah!!

We've given you all the advice that we can give, now you can take it or leave it , but know the reality stands. And frankly if shes moved on for whatever reasons then you should too, you cant force the girl to be with you , i dont care how much youre hurting, if she doesnt want to be with you shes NOT going to be with you. You can't change the Qadr. Things happen for millions of different reasons.

So just ACCEPT!!! what has happened MOVE ON!!! and say Al Hamdulillah. thats it! khalas!

[Hamas]

:salamext:

Brother, the point that those brothers are making is that it seems like no matter how much we say and advise you keep saying the same thing over and over.

Its almost like you dont even want the advice, you just want us to sit and listen to what 'shes' done to you and feel sorry for you when in reality we arent going to do that because anytime you do something haraam, in other than how Allah subhanahu wa ta'la has commaned us to do it, then we encounter hardship. So this is yours. Instead of calling out to us m call out to the one who can make a difference. Allah!!

We've given you all the advice that we can give, now you can take it or leave it , but know the reality stands. And frankly if shes moved on for whatever reasons then you should too, you cant force the girl to be with you , i dont care how much youre hurting, if she doesnt want to be with you shes NOT going to be with you. You can't change the Qadr. Things happen for millions of different reasons.

So just ACCEPT!!! what has happened MOVE ON!!! and say Al Hamdulillah. thats it! khalas!

Assalamu Alaikum,

Oh my dear sister, how can you be so cold towards me, your brother?

[.:Umniyah:.]

Wa Alaikum as salaam

Oh my dear brother, how could you be so unwilling to abid by Allahs laws? accpet Allahs Qadr, and appreciate Allahs warning through way of your fellow brothers and sister? oh how my dear Brother?

[rozeena]

bro, r u sure shes nt wiv sum1

[Hamas]

bro, r u sure shes nt wiv sum1

What do you mean? i know shes with someone, thats the problem.

[Hamas]

Wa Alaikum as salaam

Oh my dear brother, how could you be so unwilling to abid by Allahs laws? accpet Allahs Qadr, and appreciate Allahs warning through way of your fellow brothers and sister? oh how my dear Brother?

Please help me, i just want some peace, i want her out of my heart and mind, just thinking shes with the guy right now kills me. Im so not at peace, where do i go? what do i do? my pain does not affect her even slightly, i cant eat i cant sleep, please help me

[.:Umniyah:.]

Brother, thats what im trying to do, but you arent allowing us to help you. The point im making is, the advice we're giving you, is what WILL help you inshaaAllah if you only apply it, sorry bro but theres no fast result, no pill to pop, no magic lamp , nothing. Its not going to be easy, your heart is a VERY deadly weapon if used in the wrong way, or if attached to the wrong things. The point is you must put in work, its not going to be easy, no one said it will be, but inshaaAllah if you do it, it will change you for the better bi'ithnillah.

See the problem that alot of people in your situation have is that , they only repeat the reality over and over to themself , eg. shes with another guy, but they never move pass the reality onto a solution...and thats what youre doing. Okay, now that you know the reality, what are you going to do about it? You've stopped eating, sleeping, and driving yourself nuts....has that changed the reality? or at the very least has that changed how the reality affects you? no bro, not at all, so that should tell you that what you're going about things the wrong way.

Bro , dont waddle in self pity, if you want to feel better, then actually DO something to make yourself feel better....no one can make you feel better except you! by turning to Allah and asking him to help you, help yourself inshaaAllah.

thats the only way bro...i cant help you, the other bros and siss cant help you, because we cant control the affairs of the heart, we cant change your qadr we cant make her love you....so you have to turn to the one who has control over those matters....Allah ta'la

Please help me, i just want some peace, i want her out of my heart and mind, just thinking shes with the guy right now kills me. Im so not at peace, where do i go? what do i do? my pain does not affect her even slightly, i cant eat i cant sleep, please help me

[umm-sulaim]

Akhee seriously....go out, get some fresh air, say subhana Allaah wa bihamdihi subhana Allaahil adheem as you walk (helps) go to the masjid talk to our brothers about deen, read a book bout Allaah's names n sifaat so u can call on him by his beautiful names. Seek Allaah's aid n put yur trust in Allaah, this is all a test,'testing you to see which one of you has the best actions' (liyabluwakum ayyukum ahsanu amalaa)

'whatever is with us will perish n whatever is with Allaah is permenant' (ma 3indakum yanfad wa ma 3ind Allaahi baaq)

Ask the Baaqi azza wa jall to assist u bro.. she's only a woman, n now that u know she's with someone akhee it'll do u now good to think of her like this as u know...

and you know hadeeth zayd in muslim (plz correct me if i'm wrong) 'verily to Allaah belongs what he gives and his is what he takes and everything is for a prescribed time'

This is dunya akhee, forget about her...may Allaah compensate you in your pain.

rasoulullaah alayhi salaatu wassalaam said 'whoever leaves something for the sake of Allaah, his replaced with something better than it'

so leave it inshaa'Allaah...

wassalaamu alaykum

[Umar001]

Hey bro, look, the more you think about it the more its gonna get to you. Trust me, I know how you feel, (a brother told me about this whole feeling thing) it aint pretty, you better get ready for real life man.

Anyhow, don't get too attatched to anyone, even in marriage I mean, just becareful.

But talking about it all the time like you do on here aint gonna help.

[Hamas]

Its like to you brothers and sisters, she might sound like a bad character but shes not, she prays 5 times a day, we used to pray together, she would pray at home and i would go to the masjid, beautiful were those days, filled with peace and tranquility.

We had a mutual understanding, a joint understanding, something that could not be infiltrated but now she has that with him and not me, that gets to me so much too. Im sorry you guys are probably getting fed up with me.

[------]

Its like to you brothers and sisters, she might sound like a bad character but shes not, she prays 5 times a day, we used to pray together, she would pray at home and i would go to the masjid, beautiful were those days, filled with peace and tranquility.

We had a mutual understanding, a joint understanding, something that could not be infiltrated but now she has that with him and not me, that gets to me so much too. Im sorry you guys are probably getting fed up with me.

:salamext:

Brother, we are not getting fed up with you. But at the end of the day, what u did was not allowed Islamically, so pray to Allaah that u want to be with her the HALAL way, and if she is good for you the Inshaa Allaah, Allaah will let u be with her. But brother, give it TIME. nothing can happen in an instant :)

[Nawal89]

Why dont you accept the qadar of Allah?
Its probably for the best.
Plus have some pride. You said shes on this forum too? And for her to see you talking like this? Over something haram?
Man.

[umm-sulaim]

nah i don't think she's bad, i just see her as someone who's made a choice that's affected u negatively

but u guys were'nt married right...so la ba's don't worry bout it, your loss is small compared to those brothers or sisters who loose their life partners, the mother/father of their children, your in ni'mah (blessin) compared to that

akhee shaytaan beautifies things that aren't halaal for us, n makes us think we're doin good...

الذين ضل سعيهم في الحياة الدنيا و هم يحسبون أنهم يحسنون صنعا

"Those whose efforts have been wasted in this life, while they thought that they were acquiring good by their works?"

Honestly the way i see it, Allaah ridded u of something that wasn't halaal (relationship) be greatful to Allaah, atleast now u can start fresh in a halaal manner akhee.

[Hamas]

I went home and threw up and then had lunch i came back and just a few minutes ago i threw everything back out, i feel so qweezy and ill +o(

I spoke to her on the phone when i went home, she said she has to go and have a bath, do you know what i thought right then? that she was with him today and you know, she kept cutting me off and i kept calling her and i said please im going to literally go crazy, she said thats not her problem thats my problem. I said can i come and see you? she said no i dont want to see you ever, because of him i asked, yes she said.

I just want her to come back, really i do so much but she wont.

[Hamas]

Everything all you brothers and sisters tell me to do is right, when you say turn to Allah i agree with that but only if somehow we got back together we would prostrate to the Almighty all our lives but she wants this with someone else.

[Nawal89]

I think the cyber councelling section is about getting advice yeah? Not ranting and moaning.

[jzcasejz]

Bro stop..and think before you reply!!! A few days down the line you'll look at these posts and think "Whoa...did I say all this stuff? :embarrass "

Stop...and relax for a second or two. Some people gave you EXCELLENT replies in this thread...now it's down to you if you want to take their advice or not.

InshaAllaah you'll be better in no-time.

[.:Umniyah:.]

Double agree to both the post ahead of me.

Bro, like they have stated and i have stated in previous post, you have to put in work to get anything out of this situation. You're more focused on this girl, than you are the haraam in the situation. You arent even concern with what Allah is thinking of you, only concern with this sister and all shes doing with someone else.

Umm-sulaim gave you GOLDEN advice, and so did many others on here. Superb advice, suggestions and tips, now its only up to you to take and apply them accordingly.

Im afriad this is a section of help and advice, not a section of venting and exposing more information than has to be told.

The original reason for this thread has been concluded. Hence:

:threadclo