The Secret Lives of Muslim Husbands
By Abdul Lateef Abdullah
Writer, Counselor - Malaysia
As an IslamOnline.net cyber counselor, I am confronted on a regular basis with the growing phenomenon of pornography in the lives of Muslim husbands. Though it may come as a shock to many, according to concerned wives, pornography is becoming an increasing phenomenon for some Muslim men. It raises many questions, beginning with the most basic one: What is pornography an outlet for, specifically? Why are so many men turning to the "lesser adultery" or the adultery of the eyes despite their knowing - and not seeming to care - that both Allah and their wives are aware of their pastime? How can we better understand a Muslim adult male's desire to indulge in viewing pornographic material despite its illicit nature?
This article aims to explore some of these questions. Although no scientific data is available to make any formal claims about the topic at hand, I will attempt to provide some possible key underlying factors that contribute to the use of pornography by some Muslim husbands. To begin, I will frame my approach to understanding this issue in the context of the marital relationship.
It is narrated by Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." (At-Tirmidhi)
According to Abdur Rahman Doi, "The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) considered marriage for a Muslim as 'half of his religion' because it may shield him from promiscuity, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, and a life which ultimately leads to many other crimes including slander, quarrel, homicide, loss of property, and finally the disintegration of the family system on which so much stress has been placed by the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)."
This well-known hadith is often used to stress the importance of marriage within the life of Islam. The Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) taught that marriage is one-half of one's religious life. This is obviously because there are so many responsibilities within the marital relationship that one must fulfill. The responsibility of caring for one's spouse, for the spouse's property, dignity, and honor is all found within the marital relationship; not to mention what comes with the addition of children, family, and property. Thus, to begin to understand the problem of Muslim husbands' use of pornography, we must first look at what is happening within the marriage relationship and what needs are not being met within this institution.
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