anger and how to deal with it

[nasima el ghazi]

"With all the deviant groups that are popping up one by one, it is quite common that one will experience argumentation and consequently anger from others and from within ones self. The eagerness of people of these groups to push forward their opinions and of others who try and expose falsehood sometimes leads to transgressing the limits with our anger.


Indeed hatred and anger towards shirk and innovation is to be expected for a person of Sunnah but this does not mean they should lose control of their anger. The following is a brief reminder of how the best of all examples, the Noble Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) taught us to deal with it, the one about whom the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth said:
“Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah (Muhammad sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in (the Meeting with) Allaah and the Last Day and remembers Allaah much.” [al-Ahzaab 33:21]

THE WARNING AGAINST ANGER
Anger can be seen as the source to many evil deeds as:
Abu Hurayrah (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu) reported that a man said to the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam), “Advise me.” he said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request several times, and each time the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) told him, “Do not become angry.” [Reported by al-Bukhaaree, Fath al-Baari, 10/456]

For the ones with patience and those who are pious (Muttaqoon), those who can control there anger enough to defuse a potentially violent or damaging confrontation, the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) has said:

“Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allaah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection.” [Reported by at-Tabaraani, 12/453, see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6518]

And similarly he (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

“Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allaah will call him before all of mankind on the Day of Resurrection, and will let him choose of the Hur al-’Iyn whoever he wants.” [Reported by Abu Dawood, 4777, and others. It is classified as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami, 6518]

About the muttaquun, Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala) says about them in the Qur’aan that they:

“Spend (in Allaah’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, [they] repress anger, and [they] pardon men; verily, Allaah loves al-muhsinoon (the good-doers).” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:134]

The strength to control ones emotions can be overwhelming for the most calm of people, however as our beloved Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

“The strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in wrestling); rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry.” [Reported by Ahmad, 2/236; agreed upon]

Anas (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu) said:

“I was walking with the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam), and he was wearing a Najraani cloak with a rough collar. A Bedouin came and seized him roughly by the edge of his cloak, and I saw the marks left on his neck by the collar. Then the Bedouin ordered him to give him some of the wealth of Allaah that he had. The Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) turned to him and smiled, then ordered that he should be given something.” [Fath al-Baari, 10/375; Agreed upon]



THE CURE FOR ANGER
Sulayman ibn Sard said:

“I was sitting with the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam), and two men were slandering one another. One of them was red in the face, and the veins on his neck were standing out. The Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said, ‘I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feels would go away. If he said "I seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan," what he feels would go away.’” [Reported by al-Bukhaaree, al-Fath, 6/337]

The Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

“If a man gets angry and says, ‘I seek refuge with Allaah,’ his anger will go away.” [Saheeh al-Jaami’ as-Sagheer, no. 695]

The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

“If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent.” [Reported by Imaam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 1/329; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 693, 4027]

Abu Dharr (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu) was taking his camels to drink at a trough that he owned, when some other people came along and said (to one another), “Who can compete with Abu Dharr (in bringing animals to drink) and make his hair stand on end?” A man said, “I can,” so he brought his animals and competed with Abu Dharr, with the result that the trough was broken. Abu Dharr was standing, so he sat down, then he laid down. Someone asked him, “O Abu Dharr, why did you sit down then lie down?” He said: “The Messenger of (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

‘If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down.’” [Musnad Ahmad, 5/152 and Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 694]

Another way in which we can follow the example of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) is by making our anger for the sake of Allaah, when His rights are violated. This is the kind of anger which is praiseworthy. So the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) became angry when he was told about the Imaam who was putting people off the prayer by making it too long; when he saw a curtain with pictures of animate creatures in ‘Aa’ishah’s house; when Usaamah spoke to him about the Makhzoomi woman who had been convicted of theft, and he (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said, “Do you seek to intervene concerning one of the punishments prescribed by Allaah?”; when he was asked questions that he disliked, and so on. His anger was purely for the sake of Allaah.

These are the ones whose good character and beautiful attributes and deeds Allaah has mentioned, and whom people admire and want to emulate. One of their characteristics is that:

“...when they are angry, they forgive.” [ash-Shooraa 42:47]

Anger is a part of human nature, and people vary in their anger. It may be difficult for a man not to get angry, but sincere people will remember Allaah when they are reminded, and they will not overstep the mark. Some examples follow:

Ibn ‘Abbaas (radi-Allaahu ‘anhumaa) reported that a man sought permission to speak to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu), then he said:

“O son of al-Khattaab, you are not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us.”

‘Umar (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu) was so angry that he was about to attack the man, but al-Hurr ibn Qays, who was one of those present, said:

“O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, Allaah said to His Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam):

“Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish.” [al-A’raaf 7:199]

This man is one of the foolish.”

By Allaah, ‘Umar could go no further after al-Hurr had recited this aayah to him, and he was a man who was careful to adhere to the Book of Allaah. [Reported by al-Bukhaaree, al-Fath, 4/304]

This is how the Muslim should be, we can see how contrary to this the evil munaafiq (hypocrite) was not like this when he was told the hadeeth of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) by one of the Companions:

“Seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan.” He said to the one who reminded him, “Do you think I am crazy? Go away!” [Reported by al-Bukhaaree, al-Fath, 1/465]

There are many negative effects of anger; they consequently cause damage to one’s own self and to others. The angry person may utter words of slander and obscenity; he may attack others (physically) in an uncontrolled manner, even to the point of killing. The following example contains a valuable lesson:

‘Ilqimah ibn Waa’il reported that his father (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu) told him:

“I was sitting with the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) when a man came to him leading another man by a rope. He said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, this man killed my brother.’ The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) asked him, ‘Did you kill him?’ He said, ‘Yes, I killed him.’ He asked, ‘How did you kill him?’ He said, ‘He and I were hitting a tree to make the leaves fall, for animal feed, and he slandered me, so I struck him on the side of the head with an axe, and killed him.’...” [Reported by Muslim, 1307, edited by al-Baaqi]

Anger could lead to less than killing, such as wounding and breaking bones. If the one who caused the anger runs away, the angry person turns his anger in on himself, so he may tear his clothes, or strike himself, or have a fit, or fall unconscious, or he may break dishes and plates, or break furniture.

Anger may also result in social problems and the breaking of family ties, i.e., divorce. Ask many of those who divorced their wives, and they will tell you: it was in a moment of anger. This divorce results in misery for the children, regret and frustration, a hard and difficult life, all as a result of anger. If they had remembered Allaah, come to their senses, restrained their anger and sought refuge with Allaah, none of this would have happened. Going against the sharee’ah only results in loss. In a worst case situation it can result in one speaking kufr such as speaking ill of the religion due to ones state of anger.
The damage to health that results from anger can only be described by doctors, such as thrombosis, high blood pressure, tachycardia (abnormally rapid heartbeat) and hyperventilation (rapid, shallow breathing), which can lead to fatal heart attacks, diabetes, etc. If the angry person could see himself in the mirror when he is angry, he would hate himself and the way he looks. If he could see the way he changes, and the way his body and limbs shake, how his eyes glare and how out of control and crazy his behaviour is, he would despise himself and be revolted by his own appearance. It is well-known that inner ugliness is even worse than outer ugliness; how happy the Shaytaan must be when a person is in this state!
We conclude this short article with a means to a cure or a means to remembrance in such times of trial. Du’aa is always the weapon of the believer, whereby he asks Allaah to protect him from evil, trouble and bad behaviour and seeks refuge with Him from falling into the pit of kufr or wrongdoing because of anger.
One of the three things that can help save him is: being fair at times of contentment and of anger [Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3039]
One such du’aa of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) was:
“O Allaah, by Your knowledge of the Unseen and Your power over Your creation, keep me alive for as long as You know life is good for me, and cause me to die when You know death is good for me. O Allaah, I ask You to make me fear You in secret and in public, and I ask You to make me speak the truth in times of contentment and of anger. I ask You not to let me be extravagant in poverty or in prosperity. I ask You for continuous blessings, and for contentment that does not end. I ask You to let me accept Your decree, and for a good life after death. I ask You for the joy of seeing Your face and for the longing to meet You, without going through diseases and misguiding fitnah (trials). O Allaah, adorn us with the adornment of faith and make us among those who are guided. Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds.” [Reported by al-Nisaa’ee in as-Sunan, 3/55; and by al-Haakim. Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1301]
We ask Allaah to make us of those who are good in manners and only love and hate for His sake, and keep us firm upon the truth. Ameen.
-------------------------

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you nasima el ghazi;

Thanks for sharing,

Blessings and peace be with you

Eric