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Faffy.K
07-28-2007, 11:34 PM
Salaams.. i would like some advice please...
well i am 18 and insha'Allah hope to start univerisity in september. well my dad has said to me that he would like me to wear jilbab (black long gown-type thing :s) when i go uni.. but i don't think im ready 2 do so.. I do wear a headscarf and i do believe that i dress in an appropriate way, as my clothes are loose and not brightly coloured. MashAllah i have started to pray 5 times since the beginning of July, and i think my iman has increased but i still don't feel the need to wear a jilbab, also i live in a dominately non-muslim area, and on some level i am afraid that i may be abused if i do wear the jilbab.. My dads away on holiday at the moment, and when he returns im not sure how to approach this matter with him, i would be greatful if you could advise me on how i could tel him of my issues without making it look as though i am rebelling against him becoz me n my dad don't really have heart to heart coversations so i think id be to umcomfortable to tel him tht i was afraid to wear the jilbab :s...

Thank u,
Salams
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Abdul Fattah
07-29-2007, 12:33 AM
Selam aleykum sister
What do you mean by abuse? Will people physically attack you for wearing this? Or are you afraid of being called names?

Also what do you mean by "I don't think I'm ready"
Does it mean:
1. You are not yet convinced that it is the right thing to do. =>Then perhaps you should look the issue up on what is the best clothing.
2. Or does it mean you are convinced it is the right thing to do, but feel reluctant to do it for personal reasons. => Then perhaps you should do some self analysis and see what those reasons are and see if they are acceptable.
3. Does it mean that you are convinced that it is not the right thing to do but think that in time (when you are ready) will do so just for your parent's sake?

Anyway, if you really don't want to wear this, one approach would be to tell your dad that you will wear it for Allah subhana wa ta'ala when you are convinced that it is the right thing to do, but that you will not wear it for him because then it would not be an act of worship (for Allah subhana wa ta'ala) but instead an act of pleasing the parents.
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rubiesand
07-29-2007, 09:17 AM
Salam Sister,

Jilbab doesn't have to be black you know.. Have a look at these jilbabs. They come in some bright colours and in sports and casual styles. You might find yourself actually wanting to wear one of these! :sunny: I like the dusky pink one on page 1 of 'casual', and I don't feel wearing something like that would increase the chances of my being abused any more than wearing hijab with simple loose clothing. I hope it helps sis.
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ummAbdillah
07-29-2007, 11:07 AM
Asalamu Alaykum
sis, what type of Jilbab is it, are you talking about the Burqa? the loose black dress that covers everything without the face cover?
:w:
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Faffy.K
07-29-2007, 02:02 PM
salaams.. yer im talking abt the burqa.. i wore it previously once and i got called names as soon as i walked out of the door :| it kinda put me off the whole idea.. and i still really dont think that a persons iman or deen is reflected by them wearin a burqa.. i mean im sure Allah (swt) knows every person inside and out.. and if He knows that u r not commiting any sins intentionally, then i shouldnt be told that i have 2 wear the burqa.. :s and as i said b4.. i don't wear tight clothes or anything anyways.. ahh i dunnoooo.. once i went thru this phase wen i really wanted 2 wear it n now im jus put off the whole idea :s
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Faffy.K
07-29-2007, 02:03 PM
ooops i ment its the jilbab tht is jus like a long black gown thing and u wear a seperate headscarf with it
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جوري
07-29-2007, 04:16 PM
:sl:
Just be forth coming with your dad then, he can't really force dress on you, all he can do is give advise. I think you should sit him down and let him know how uncomfortable this makes you feel, and that religion isn't wrapped only in the dress you wear, that it is just a representative of who you are, and that you feel well represented in the clothes you sport currently...
:w:
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ummAbdillah
07-30-2007, 12:27 PM
Asalamu Alaykum,
sis, if you feel more covered wearing the Burqa then wear it, don't worry about what people say, we should only seek Allah's pleasure and no one elses.
If you wish to learn more about the hijaab, try this site www.islamqa.com
walaykum salaaam
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Muslim Woman
07-30-2007, 12:49 PM
:sl:


format_quote Originally Posted by Faffy.K
i am afraid that i may be abused if i do wear the jilbab..

if u wear long , loose dress with a head scarf ...i guess it's quite modest dress . But why are u aginst Jilbah ? Becuase of abuse ??? Then u can tell ur dad to talk to campus authority ....no one has right to abuse u .


Now at that moment ...i don't wear Jilbah / Burqa ( i wear Selwar , kamiz & cover head with long dupatta/ warna ) . But i have all intention to wear Buraq/ Jilbah with face niqab from next year ...InshaAllah. I know , it's not compulsory to wear face niqab & i m 100 % sure people including my friends & relatives will luaght at me ...still i m hopeful that i can do it.

It's because to please Allah ...to maintain more modesty etc .

But , if u don't like Jilbah at all , then u may say Dad that wearing loose , long dress with scarf is non an un-Islamic dress at all. My friend perfomed Hajj with Selwar , kamiz , head scarf ......no one objected .
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Sunni Student
07-30-2007, 07:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Faffy.K
as i said b4.. i don't wear tight clothes
Does the clothing you were reveal your figure? If yes then that is a problem, the clothing you wear should not reveal your figure, and trousers, jeans without a long dress or long top would be revealing your figure. However if you wear trousers or jeans which is mostly covered by a loose dress or loose top then although still discouraged by most scholars is acceptable.

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tryinghard
07-31-2007, 04:44 AM
Assalamu alaikum,

Explain the situation to your dad like you did to us that you wear the hijab and loose clothing and that should be fine. Tell him that you are not ready to wear the jilbab. I'm sure if you calmly and rationally explain this to him, he'll understand. If he doesn't agree, please understand that he wants what's best.
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Maidah
07-31-2007, 05:29 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by rubiesand
Salam Sister,

Jilbab doesn't have to be black you know.. Have a look at these jilbabs. They come in some bright colours and in sports and casual styles. You might find yourself actually wanting to wear one of these! :sunny: I like the dusky pink one on page 1 of 'casual', and I don't feel wearing something like that would increase the chances of my being abused any more than wearing hijab with simple loose clothing. I hope it helps sis.

This would make things easier but the point of weraing a jilbab or even covering is to be simple and not colourful. Correct me if i'm wrong but there are even ppl who say that the head scarfe one wears should not be any other colour than black as it would attrcat attention. I'm not saying it's wrong all i'm saying is that if this sis should not be mislead by the fact that only cuz there're jilbabs which are pink or purple will make things different for her or reduce the chances for any abuse.

Clothing should be modest, and if it can be done without the jilbab it's ok but if you feel it can't be done you take it a step further and cover even more till the point where you feel you're better off just weraing the jilbab adding on the potential sawab you would get with it.
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lipstick
07-31-2007, 04:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by rubiesand
Salam Sister,

Jilbab doesn't have to be black you know.. Have a look at these jilbabs. They come in some bright colours and in sports and casual styles. You might find yourself actually wanting to wear one of these! :sunny: I like the dusky pink one on page 1 of 'casual', and I don't feel wearing something like that would increase the chances of my being abused any more than wearing hijab with simple loose clothing. I hope it helps sis.
if you have taken the step to cover your self and hide your modesty then why would you want to wear designer jilaabs

this is one thing that really annoys me about the modern muslimahs

yes they wear the head scarf but the clothes they wear are so tight including the jilaabs ive seen at confrences..........they mold every body shape

plus most hijabi gals wear make-up

whats the point of wearing a scarf and jilaab if your decorating your self in other ways and making your self eye catching

does anyone agree with me?

i think people should make sure that muslimahs are aware of this as soooooooooo many muslimahs do this
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Haidar_Abbas
07-31-2007, 04:18 PM
:sl: May Allah(SWT) give you the strength uhktee to go forth and wear clothing suitable to the practice of al Islaam and in accordance with the sunnah of Roosulullah (SAW) and the Shairah..ameen and we're all making dua for you! :sl:
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Faffy.K
07-31-2007, 09:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by lipstick
if you have taken the step to cover your self and hide your modesty then why would you want to wear designer jilaabs

this is one thing that really annoys me about the modern muslimahs

yes they wear the head scarf but the clothes they wear are so tight including the jilaabs ive seen at confrences..........they mold every body shape

plus most hijabi gals wear make-up

whats the point of wearing a scarf and jilaab if your decorating your self in other ways and making your self eye catching

does anyone agree with me?

i think people should make sure that muslimahs are aware of this as soooooooooo many muslimahs do this
yer i agree with u.. thts y i dnt feel tht thers much need in wearin this jilbab.. becoz ive seen soo many women wearin jilbab doing wrong things... things tht i would never do even though i dont wear it :S i dont think wearing a jilbab justifies anything becoz in 2days dunya i believe that 2 sum women the hijab and jilbab have lost all meaning and can be seen as more of a fashion item? i know girls who wear the hijab simply becoz it luks good and goes with their clothes.. astagfirullah. thats why im satisfied and pray that Allah is also satisfied with the way i dress presently.
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