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08-01-2007, 10:42 AM
:salamext:

Hope all of you are in the best of health Inshaa Allaah.

I know quite a bit of people that self harm, e.g. cutting themselves with razors/knife/scissors, etc.

I just wanted 2 see how common this is, like a survey thing.

Could you please help me by voting on the poll above, its completely anonymous!

Thanks :)

P.S. Can you please vote if you haven't self harmed as well.


P.P.S. Mods, I am not encouraging this! Just wanted to see the number of people that do/dont do this.
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Ummu Sufyaan
08-01-2007, 10:51 AM
:sl: does it just have to be with the mentioned
:sl:
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08-01-2007, 10:57 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by maryam11
:sl: does it just have to be with the mentioned
:sl:
:salamext:

Nope sis, any type of self harm. :)
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nadia85
08-01-2007, 11:01 AM
intresting poll I have voted
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nevesirth
08-01-2007, 11:06 AM
when i get frustrated or mad, i dont feel like harming myself, rather i feel like venting it out on someone else.:grumbling
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08-01-2007, 11:10 AM
:salamext:

Alhamdulillaah, thats kool brother. Could you please vote on the poll :)
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gladTidings
08-01-2007, 11:12 AM
Self harm really frustrates me! I dont understand the logic behind it. I think too many youths are unaware of the long term damage and the fact that its sinful. Surely the scars will bring back any pain you tried to supress by self harm. Why do it?!!?
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nadia85
08-01-2007, 11:14 AM
self haram is a way out for some ppl when they dont now what else to do it s like a relife something they have control over if they have no control of anything else in there life
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nevesirth
08-01-2007, 11:21 AM
i dont think its an intentional thing, its something those who indulge in it cant help. its mostly caused by psycho-emotional stress when u feel no one seems to understand u or no one hears ur cries. at times it might be a craving for attention. no one enjoys harming self, although there are some sado masochists who actually enjoy self infliction of harm.

from wht im seeing in the polls so far, it seems sisters are more prone to self harm, seems the brothers have an optional way of releasing pent up frustrations or maybe they just know how to control their emotions better!!!!!
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nadia85
08-01-2007, 11:23 AM
well said bro nevesirth
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gladTidings
08-01-2007, 11:29 AM
So the pain from self harm is like a relief/distraction? SubhanAllah. I still dont get it lol. I feel very strongly about it because a member of my family has been self harming herself quite deeply...I try to understand it, but its something I can never make sense of. We guard the amanah of others with our life, but our body is an amanah from the Almighty, surely we should do everything to protect it.
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nadia85
08-01-2007, 11:33 AM
I think only the person who self harams can really understand why they do it and mayb they have a low imman but lets not judge them
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nevesirth
08-01-2007, 11:35 AM
when u start inflicting self harm, it at times becomes addictive. so when ever u get upset, ur brain sends signals instructing u to resort to self inflicting of harm.

and i feel some pple indulge in this because they feel tht they are worthless and they also hate themselves. suicide is kind of an extreme and advanced form of this illness. its a serious chronic illness
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nadia85
08-01-2007, 11:39 AM
why r u not suprised there r more sisters who self harm?
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S.A.
08-01-2007, 11:51 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by peãrl
So the pain from self harm is like a relief/distraction? SubhanAllah. I still dont get it lol. I feel very strongly about it because a member of my family has been self harming herself quite deeply...I try to understand it, but its something I can never make sense of. Your imaan would have to be pretty low to get that far. We guard the amanah of others with our life, but our body is an amanah from the Almighty, surely we should do everything to protect it.
:bravo:

:peace: :peace:


We have so much in common sis pearl :D
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Woodrow
08-01-2007, 11:55 AM
Self harm take many forms. It is done for many reasons. Some times the person doing it does not even recognize it as self injury.

Ritualistic: part of some religious practices. Such as flagellation for the repentance of sins, self crucifixtion, etc.

Sociological/tribal: Such as provoked animal attacks, sport injuries etc.

Peer Pressure: a desire to have scars to prove manliness etc. Heidelberg dueling scars. the badges of gang members, tattoos, body piercings

Habitual: self inflicted; Pinching, scratching, cutting, nail biting,


Symptoms of a Psychological/Personality disturbance:
Chronic depression, amoral disorder, Lack of self worth, etc.


The reasons are as varied as the individuals. But, the basic reason seems to be the achievement of some degree of self awareness and determination of self identity.

The problems arise when this actions become uncontrollable and an apparently unstoppable behavior, even when the person wants to stop. It does little good to point out the futility of such actions. The actions only stop when a person gains sufficient self control to understand that it is unneeded. The best assets are to form deep spiritual bonds with our Deity and religious beliefs, engage in strenuous activities, develop constructive hobbies, seek realistic goals that can be accomplished.
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nadia85
08-01-2007, 11:57 AM
I feel there is a lot of bad feeling towards ppl who self harm is it just me?I guess it s hard 4 ppl 2 understand it ?
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08-01-2007, 12:04 PM
:salamext:

I spoke 2 a few people, and they said it's mostly a way to relieve tension, as their attention is distracted from the real problem, momentarily, and they have to take care of the 'harm' they have inflicted upon themselves.
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nevesirth
08-01-2007, 12:05 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nadia85
I feel there is a lot of bad feeling towards ppl who self harm is it just me?I guess it s hard 4 ppl 2 understand it ?
only those who have been thru it will really understand. its not a feeling you can actually communicate verbally thru explanations.
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Woodrow
08-01-2007, 12:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nadia85
I feel there is a lot of bad feeling towards ppl who self harm is it just me?I guess it s hard 4 ppl 2 understand it ?
You are probably correct with that observation. But, that probably comes from misunderstanding and a belief that it is usually a self planned thing to attract attention or some such thought.

We can see that the behavior is wrong and in violation of the teachings of Islam, but what we can not see is the inner conflicts that are causing a person to do such things.

I believe that on a small level we all do it to some extent, be it nail biting, chewing on our cheek or tongue, self hair pulling during times of frustration, etc. Same act, just to a different degree.
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The Ruler
08-01-2007, 01:50 PM
Do punching walls count? I do it more as a training thing rather than self harm. Pah! It isn't fair. Mum won't get me them punching thingamybobs.

:w:
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highway_trekker
08-01-2007, 01:56 PM
May Allaah make it easy for the young Muslim brother or sister who turns to this type of 'relief'-aameen.
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Star
08-01-2007, 03:25 PM
i've voted,

by the way how can nail biting be a form of self-harm, i do it, and my fingers start bleeding, but i dont do it coz i want to self-harm, i do it because im anxious or nervous about something.... *they only bleed a bit*
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highway_trekker
08-01-2007, 03:30 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Star
i've voted,

by the way how can nail biting be a form of self-harm, i do it, and my fingers start bleeding, but i dont do it coz i want to self-harm, i do it because im anxious or nervous about something.... *they only bleed a bit*
Its just a bad habit, not self-harming. Its like, hitting yourself lightly (on the head) when you made a mistake :D Silly, but just a personal expression. Not self-harming in that sense.

Du'aa for worry and grief

Allaahumma 'innee 'abduka, ibnu 'abdika, ibnu 'amatika, naasiyatee biyadika, maadhin fiyya hukmuka, 'adlun fiyya qadhaa'uka, 'as'aluka bikulli ismin huwa laka, sammayta bihi nafsaka, 'aw 'anzaltahu fee kitaabika, 'aw 'allamtahu 'ahadan min khalqika, 'awista'tharta bihi fee 'ilmil-ghaybi 'indaka, 'an taj'alal-Qur'aana rabee'a qalbee, wa noora sadree, wa jalaa'a huznee, wa thahaaba hammee .

O Allah, I am Your slave and the son of Your male slave and the son of your female slave . My forehead is in Your Hand (i.e. you have control over me) . Your Judgment upon me is assured and Your Decree concerning me is just . I ask You by every Name that You have named Yourself with , revealed in Your Book , taught any one of Your creation or kept unto Yourself in the knowledge of the unseen that is with You , to make the Qur'an the spring of my heart, and the light of my chest, the banisher of my sadness and the reliever of my distress.

Reference: Ahmad 1/391, and Al-Albani graded it authentic.

Allaahumma 'innee 'a'oothu bika minal-hammi walhazani, wal'ajzi walkasali, walbukhli waljubni, wa dhala'id-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijaal .

O Allah , I seek refuge in you from grief and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being overcome by debt and overpowered by men (i .e . others) .

Reference: Al-Bukhari 7/158. See also Al-Asqalani, Fathul-Bari 11/173.
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Star
08-01-2007, 03:34 PM
pheww.. good to know, jazakillah khayr uktee... thanx for the duas as well...
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highway_trekker
08-01-2007, 03:35 PM
Wa'eeyaaki
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Intisar
08-02-2007, 06:26 AM
:sl:

Alhamdulilah I have never participated in self-harm, I am one to take out my anger on objects tho..:giggling:
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nevesirth
08-05-2007, 04:55 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena*
:sl:

Alhamdulilah I have never participated in self-harm, I am one to take out my anger on objects tho..:giggling:
hope u dont end up destroying anything expensive or precious
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chand
08-05-2007, 07:26 PM
Yh its been satistically prooven that girls self harm more than boys..i read somewhere that one in every ten girls do..so it is quite a popular occurance.
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Woodrow
08-05-2007, 09:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by chand
Yh its been satistically prooven that girls self harm more than boys..i read somewhere that one in every ten girls do..so it is quite a popular occurance.
From personal experience I suspect it is much more common. Nearly every person I ever had in any of my counseling sessions with had admitted to some form of self damage. However, to be honest because of my particular discipline I had very little experience with live clients primarily just in my internships.

I also suspect that boys also do it to the same degree only in more flamboyant forms, that do not appear to be simple tension relief. Such as carving initials instead of random cutting, or self made tattoos etc.
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Yanal
08-05-2007, 11:56 PM
:sl: :sl:
Well of course it is really frustrating :raging: but i try to take teh pain without telling anyone because if i tell anyone they will be worried adn i do not want that to happen today i was cleaning my stairs with a broom and the outer door has a corner (mild sharp) and i poked throught it with my left hand and the notice thing about that is that i got it in different places not one different like different specific places on my hand when i only saw on place getting hit LOL:w: :w:
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barney
08-06-2007, 12:02 AM
I work in Mental Health, and I just have to say the results of the poll have shocked me badly.
Self harm as related to cutting affects less than 1% of the population.
This poll shows that 27% of Muslims are self harming. I know these polls can be skewed by lots of factors, but thats a really really big percentage.
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Woodrow
08-06-2007, 12:30 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by barney
I work in Mental Health, and I just have to say the results of the poll have shocked me badly.
Self harm as related to cutting affects less than 1% of the population.
This poll shows that 27% of Muslims are self harming. I know these polls can be skewed by lots of factors, but thats a really really big percentage.
Oddly, I found the poll results to be close to what I found in practice. However, I did not fully practice clinical psych and only did an internship in it and my actual clientèle was a specific socio-economic group.

Here are part of the results of one study.

Statistics on self-injury in Maine are all but nonexistent – lumped together with data on suicide – and local information is anecdotal at best. In Massachusetts, however, some figures are available.

There, 18 percent of high school students reported in 2003 that they had intentionally injured themselves at least once in the previous year, according to that state’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey, part of an annual national study performed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The national survey includes questions on smoking, sex and suicide, but Massachusetts is the only state to include a question on self-injury in its survey, according to the most recent information available.

In Maine, interviews with anyone who deals with teenagers, including school and mental health professionals, suggest self-injury is happening everywhere.

Guidance counselors, school social workers and nurses from high schools in Bangor, Belfast, Houlton, Calais, Newport and Millinocket all have reported dealing with students who harm themselves.

The principal of Great Salt Bay School in Damariscotta in May sent a letter to parents of seventh- and eighth-grade pupils notifying them of an increase in reports of cutting at the school. Later that month, the school convened a public discussion about cutting.
Source: http://www.jenniferboyer.com/SInews12.html

Although self damage (cutting) only seems to affect about 1% of the total population, nearly all who engage in it are teens. It seems to be very common and of epidemic proportions among teens.
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barney
08-06-2007, 12:43 AM
Yep woodrow, but we see people with mental health probs as part of our job. The forum is just the general public...it shouldnt be twenty times higher than it is.. Thats worrying. :(
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Woodrow
08-06-2007, 01:14 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by barney
Yep woodrow, but we see people with mental health probs as part of our job. The forum is just the general public...it shouldnt be twenty times higher than it is.. Thats worrying. :(
There are many possible explanations. The main one being a poll can only measure what it is designed to measure. I believe that you and I would not view this as a very scientific poll and some things we do not know are the demographics of the voters.


Another view of this is there are over 10,000 LI members but out of the 10,000 only about 30 admit to self cutting. Less than 1/3 of 1% of the total LI population.

I do agree that it is odd that such a high number of those who partook of the poll admit to cutting behavior, But, then again, the thread title just may be biased for encouraging thread cutters and the voters do not represent a fair population sampling of the members.
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north_malaysian
08-06-2007, 01:33 AM
Harming myself with razors?:uuh:

Never!!!!!!!!!!:'(
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syilla
08-06-2007, 01:38 AM
i even afraid to prick my ear. :D

but i'm okay with roller coaster and body slide (never try the body slide though)
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north_malaysian
08-06-2007, 01:41 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by syilla
i even afraid to prick my ear. :D

but i'm okay with roller coaster and body slide (never try the body slide though)
roller coaster ride is HARMFUL? :giggling:
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leader
08-06-2007, 03:11 PM
people harm der slfs for lil reason buh i dnt understand y?

xXxLeaderxXx
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IbnAbdulHakim
08-06-2007, 03:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by leader
people harm der slfs for lil reason buh i dnt understand y?

xXxLeaderxXx
i think its coz they wanna commit suicide but when they feel da intense pain they slow it down, so it jus leaves it as cuts.


i kno someone whos tried commiting suicide 7 times, and looks like more attemps might be made in da future...


it cud also be a problem with the head... may Allah save us from it
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08-06-2007, 04:55 PM
:salamext:

Actually, its mostly that they want to divert their attention from the main problem, its not really wanting to commit suicide.
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IceQueen~
08-07-2007, 08:04 PM
Some people enjoy doing it I think they do it for attention esp since they make a point of showing all their various scars and explaining how they got each one with great enthusiasm :-\
May Allah help them:(
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AhlaamBella
08-07-2007, 08:06 PM
They feel there is no way out when in fact, they don't realise that God is always there. :( It's sad that some teenagers (and adults) don't feel like this.
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IceQueen~
08-07-2007, 08:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by DeepOcean
They feel there is no way out when in fact, they don't realise that God is always there. :( It's sad that some teenagers (and adults) don't feel like this.
I know sis, thats so true... :-\
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AhlaamBella
08-07-2007, 08:09 PM
My friend suffered from depression. Alhamdulilah she didn't resort to self-harm
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deeah_2
08-07-2007, 08:21 PM
All praises due to Allah, that I have never been in a postition where I wanted to hurt myself. People always tell me Iam a person who has a lot of patience and I think Allah for that!!
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AhlaamBella
08-07-2007, 08:23 PM
Ameen. Alhamdulilah I don't have a short fuse....but I'm not drowning in patience either lol
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sevgi
08-08-2007, 11:48 AM
used to very often
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08-08-2007, 11:50 AM
:salamext:

What made u stop sister?
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IbnAbdulHakim
08-08-2007, 09:19 PM
i am also curious as to wat made u stop sister...
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AhlaamBella
08-08-2007, 09:21 PM
And what made you start
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IbnAbdulHakim
08-08-2007, 09:29 PM
shes already explained both in the advice thread


jazakAllahu khair (if u r the same person and i assume ur a sister becoz u sed ur friend is a "she")
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AhlaamBella
08-08-2007, 09:33 PM
oops. my mistake, sorry :)
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sevgi
08-14-2007, 06:52 AM
are u guys talking to me?

if u are---no i havent written any where else about this...

regarding what made me start?

i think it was a mix of childhood traumas, resonating through my adolescence, the inability to understand why i was living so much emotional and physical pain (not self inflicted), besides this, the inability to understand why i had noone to share these with...this leads to bottled up hatred to forces u cannot comprehend...and u feel worthless and stupid, coz the forces around u are constantly reiterating that...and u lash out on urself...and dnt even feel it really...

what made me stop?

when u come close enough to killing urself, and u actually meditate being washed etc after death, the thought of giving up freaks u out....my iman (inshallah) was what made me stop... "la yukallifullahu nefsen illa vus'aha"...
believeing that Allah had better days in store for me...trusting him before i trusted my self...realising that noone is worth it...oh and...i moved outta home...

u never really rid urself of it...but u get stronger as u hold back...

duas please.
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highway_trekker
08-14-2007, 11:57 AM
[QUOTE=sumeyye;808747]
believeing that Allah had better days in store for me...trusting him before i trusted my self...[QUOTE]

Ukhtee..Deep words...May Allaah increase your reward and reduce your suffering-aameen.
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Lady_Nadine
08-22-2007, 11:11 AM
Does thinking about it count?
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Malaikah
08-22-2007, 11:37 AM
:sl:

Does it have to be serious? The most I have ever done was scratch my hand with a paper clip... but no badly, I didn't even bleed!
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08-25-2007, 02:14 PM
:salamext:

Nah It's like u know with a scissor, knife, razor, etc. Something that u cause pain to urself with deliberately.
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strider
08-25-2007, 02:26 PM
People who self harm, more often than not, don't want to commit suicide; it's a plea for help.

Some posters of this thread don't really seem to understand why people would want to resort to self harming and i guess that is to be expected if they've never had to deal with it. But please try to understand, don't just post the first thing that comes to mind.

Also, remember not every person is religious, a Muslim or even believes in God. What would you say in an attempt to consul such people to home the mention of God does nothing?
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ژاله
08-25-2007, 03:54 PM
for harming onself, one must be very brave! am a coward;i cant harm myself!...when i am frustrated, i just cry nothing else
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11-06-2007, 12:46 PM
:salamext:

Crying is a better way of letting out everything lol, rather than self harm :)
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-06-2007, 12:52 PM
^ i always found a bit of boxing to be best.

Allahu A'lam

Assalamu Alaikum
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Re.TiReD
11-06-2007, 12:55 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:

Crying is a better way of letting out everything lol, rather than self harm :)
:salamext: or just pray? :) but yeah...anything is better than self harm, if you're gonna harm yourself and commit suicide, how will you be able to pray for Allah to remove your problem and give you something better? a problem is only another reason for you to ask from Allah and become closer to Him :) :sl:
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 01:02 PM
^^^its not always that easy...

when ur in it that deep...u need something really strong to pull u out...and faith aint always it...

a lil boxing doesnt turn suicidal people around...lol...

neither does praying-for most...u need a massive conscience and a massive external and internal influence to get u to get up and pray..or even make a dua...

u dnt wana do anything...remember...they just wana die...they just want to hurt.

u need to want to get better.

it is very hard.very strong.very deep.
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11-06-2007, 01:06 PM
:salamext:

What would you suggest to get out of it sis?
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Ourra-Tul-'Ain
11-06-2007, 01:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by peãrl
Self harm really frustrates me! I dont understand the logic behind it. I think too many youths are unaware of the long term damage and the fact that its sinful. Surely the scars will bring back any pain you tried to supress by self harm. Why do it?!!?
:omg::heated: subanAllah me too sis!!!

but u know Allah knows best.

Im just too much of a 'shook cat' to cut my self:phew
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Ourra-Tul-'Ain
11-06-2007, 01:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
^^^its not always that easy...

when ur in it that deep...u need something really strong to pull u out...and faith aint always it...

a lil boxing doesnt turn suicidal people around...lol...

neither does praying-for most...u need a massive conscience and a massive external and internal influence to get u to get up and pray..or even make a dua...

u dnt wana do anything...remember...they just wana die...they just want to hurt.

u need to want to get better.



it is very hard.very strong.very deep.
:cry: really, SubhanAllah. it seems hard
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-06-2007, 01:34 PM
well if you look at it from an islamic view, when our prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam began recieving revelations he tried jump off a cliff right?

or is that not an authentic narration? :?


what im getting at is, what lead him to that, and how did he recover from that?
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11-06-2007, 01:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ourra-Tul-'Ain
:cry: really, SubhanAllah. it seems hard
:salamext:

It's really hard to come out of it once you've gone into it.
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 01:42 PM
...the person cant really do anything themselves...it depends on the person very much...u need the core of the issue...

u need a conscience...if that is dead..then u cant get thru to the person...

if the persons conscience is dead....they must regain hope.hope for the future..hope for themselves..

they need something strong to regain this hope.

ppl in depression usually push everyone away. u cant directly help them.

u need to find ways to perhaps make them meet new ppl, so they see future and new frendship possibilities...

try to 'catch' them in a depressive mood or moment and talk to them...IF they open up to u...tell them that u are there and that Allah is there...and La yukallifullahu nafsan illa vusaha...tell them u are gna be there every step of the way...take their hand and revise a plan together...open a physical new page book...write down daily steps...or weekly steps u are gna take together...

this takes comitment...dnt let go..or they will surely let go.make urself available all the time.depressive moods can hit anytime,...anywhere...for any reason or no reason at all.lonelyness is a no no! the moment they are alone.bang!

take away their rock songs.

give them time to think.lots of it. so....make them write letters to someone..u dnt have to be the person.i think this is the most important one...really.without this, ur efforts are like nothing.not a diary...letters to someone else...definietly.

try to get rid of the external core issue before u work on the internal stuff.

pray pray pray...

ummm...falling in love is always a good one.lol...i mean halal way...a reaaallly nice guy or girl...gives em hope.

anyways...these are just my views...im sure a psychologist would laugh at me...:)

:w:
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-06-2007, 01:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
ummm...falling in love is always a good one.lol...i mean halal way...a reaaallly nice guy or girl...gives em hope.

anyways...these are just my views...im sure a psychologist would laugh at me...:)

:w:
wa alaikum ussalaam wa rahmatullah

that can have the opposite affect aswell.. i know so many couples married/in love and then broken up/depressed...

without islaam, nothing works, and marriage is have of emaan... islaam cannot exist without emaan.

and most psychologists encourage companionship, so i doubt u'd be laughed at.

I think we should all learn to fall in love with ALlaah... just like sufyan ath-thawri rahimahullah in that poem !!
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11-06-2007, 01:49 PM
:salamext:

take away their rock songs.
*cough*bollywood*cough*

try to get rid of the external core issue before u work on the internal stuff.
What do u mean sis?
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 01:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
wa alaikum ussalaam wa rahmatullah

that can have the opposite affect aswell.. i know so many couples married/in love and then broken up/depressed...

without islaam, nothing works, and marriage is have of emaan... islaam cannot exist without emaan.

and most psychologists encourage companionship, so i doubt u'd be laughed at.

I think we should all learn to fall in love with ALlaah... just like sufyan ath-thawri rahimahullah in that poem !!
u cant tell anyone depressed to fall in love with Allah...they dnt care remember..they hate him for putting them in such a situation(towbah---but thats it) so u must be very careful with the islamic advice u give.bring it on them slowly...
dnt make it obvious bt always reinforce their imaan...thats what 'hope' is anyway...

i was writing for muslims and non-muslims...

peace.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-06-2007, 01:51 PM
bollywood is like poison man, it just spreads and spreads and spreads and spreads and spreads till it devours ur heart :|


cure - QURAN :D
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-06-2007, 01:53 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
u cant tell anyone depressed to fall in love with Allah...they dnt care remember..they hate him for putting them in such a situation(towbah---but thats it) so u must be very careful with the islamic advice u give.bring it on them slowly...
dnt make it obvious bt always reinforce their imaan...thats what 'hope' is anyway...

i was writing for muslims and non-muslims...

peace.
yeah true but imagine they got the completely wrong understanding of what they're going through. THey think they're abandoned etc but for real they are saved from far worse.

Perhaps a bit of talking will remove all depression... i know someone recently that tried cuttin themselves up but just talking changed it all.

the tongue is a powerful tool...
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 01:54 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:



What do u mean sis?
eg) say im depressed and it is because of my mum...all my life she has pstered me and put me thru hell and etc etc...

get rid of her. not physically ofcourse...

but make sure she is outta my head.

then u can work on the internal gunk i have built up because of my mum...
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11-06-2007, 01:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
u cant tell anyone depressed to fall in love with Allah...they dnt care remember..they hate him for putting them in such a situation(towbah---but thats it) so u must be very careful with the islamic advice u give.bring it on them slowly...
dnt make it obvious bt always reinforce their imaan...thats what 'hope' is anyway...

i was writing for muslims and non-muslims...

peace.
:salamext:

U take the words off my tongue woman... :hiding:
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 01:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
yeah true but imagine they got the completely wrong understanding of what they're going through. THey think they're abandoned etc but for real they are saved from far worse.

Perhaps a bit of talking will remove all depression... i know someone recently that tried cuttin themselves up but just talking changed it all.

the tongue is a powerful tool...
i doubt that that person was truly depressd or suicidal.in fact--they werent at all.im sorry.

noone is ever abandonned...depresed ppl dnt see-cant see and usually dnt wana see the ppl around em..or the imaan inside them...

the mind makes u think that way.it is from shaytaan and his whisperings...

u need to help them see that they are not alone...and this must be done with utmost subtlety...if not, they wont get over it properly or u just mite push em away even more.they want to think u abandoned them.they want to think ur out to hurt em.u must change that perception first.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-06-2007, 01:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
but make sure she is outta my head.

then u can work on the internal gunk i have built up because of my mum...
mashaAllah thats the best thing to do.

would you advise some people to act robotic towards certain others?

like say someone keeps bugging you and you love'd this someone, but then they keep hurting you, should you just keep your duty to that someone whilst ignoring all feelings and having sabr?

for men i think this is possible, i dont know about sisters though? :?

is it healthy?
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-06-2007, 02:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
u need to help them see that they are not alone...and this must be done with utmost subtlety...if not, they wont get over it properly or u just mite push em away even more.they want to think u abandoned them.they want to think ur out to hurt em.u must change that perception first.
yeah i got a cousin whos on depression tablets, and she says she keeps hearing voices and stuff, shes attempted suicide over 10 times.


do you know anything about this?
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 02:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
mashaAllah thats the best thing to do.

would you advise some people to act robotic towards certain others?

like say someone keeps bugging you and you love'd this someone, but then they keep hurting you, should you just keep your duty to that someone whilst ignoring all feelings and having sabr?

for men i think this is possible, i dont know about sisters though? :?

is it healthy?
lol..no way...

ull just wait till they have a freudian slip and voila!!!

thats called repression.humans arent built for it...it leads to depression..

dnt do it.be open and closed in a healthy balanced manner.
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 02:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
yeah i got a cousin whos on depression tablets, and she says she keeps hearing voices and stuff, shes attempted suicide over 10 times.


do you know anything about this?
she mite have a mild form of skitzofrenia(no i will not spell it properly)...

i know that it is directly liked with the jiinns...

if they arent that severe..they just mite be bifactors of depression.but definetly, if she is really bad..take her to someone.the jiinns mite be playing with her. they play with ppl whos imaans are not too healthy.work on her imaan health.

there are two forms of silence...the peaceful kind and the one filled with the wisperings of the shaytaan...

make her write it all out in letters...

these voices are what block ones direct phone line with Allah: ur conscience...

help her out in this way inshallah.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-06-2007, 02:13 PM
^ yeah i tried that sis, tried reciting aytul kursi, surah naas falaq etc.

there was a point where she thought she is a divine being :S and then later she went onto christianity, and now shes claiming islaam wears the hijaab but lol. its weird..

shes already been to them imaams, they say theres no jinn possessing her, so i tried it myself... i know its silly but what else are we gnna do :S
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 02:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
^ yeah i tried that sis, tried reciting aytul kursi, surah naas falaq etc.

there was a point where she thought she is a divine being :S and then later she went onto christianity, and now shes claiming islaam wears the hijaab but lol. its weird..

shes already been to them imaams, they say theres no jinn possessing her, so i tried it myself... i know its silly but what else are we gnna do :S
if she doesnt have jinns for sure, then its probably that shes got ADD of some sort.

it is a very misunderstood illness.ppl with ADD make themselves believe things in order to get attention...

my frends mum wud pretend to see spiders on the walls so ppl wud think she was crazy...

any attention is gud enuf, even if they are getting 'crazy' attention.

is she married?
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-06-2007, 02:18 PM
^ naa her parents are trying to get her married off.

Problem is those depression tablets made her go really fat, i think they cause obesity of some form...

to be honest most depressed people go fat so..

but then again, shud she really get married? She doesnt seem to be at all capable of taking care of a family..
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ahsan28
11-06-2007, 02:25 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
^ naa her parents are trying to get her married off.
The best possible option perhaps.
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 02:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ahsan28
The best possible option perhaps.
not unless she has ADD...if she does, then she shudnt...:)

the guy will go crazy.she needs to work on herself...

but bro IbnAbdulHakim..ive sent u a pm...

:w:
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Ourra-Tul-'Ain
11-06-2007, 03:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
u cant tell anyone depressed to fall in love with Allah...they dnt care remember..they hate him for putting them in such a situation(towbah---but thats it) so u must be very careful with the islamic advice u give.bring it on them slowly...
dnt make it obvious bt always reinforce their imaan...thats what 'hope' is anyway...

i was writing for muslims and non-muslims...

peace.
Sister then only Allah can help them. if u feel that way about Allah SWA then:hmm: I really don’t know what to say......because even when I'm really down, I just can not feel that way! "they dnt care remember" well that is just mad I tell ya.

Allah is the only one who can help; even when you are at your lowest you must remember that. You must have some kind of hope, n if you feel that way about Allah then I just don’t know.:uhwhat

sorry i know I'm bablin on a bit
Allah know best.

Ma'ssallamah:sunny:
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Re.TiReD
11-06-2007, 03:06 PM
SubhanAllah! I've just read through some of these recent posts! Masha'Allah at the freudian slip sumeyye! lol I think the talking therapy is the best one, when one feels the world has abandoned them to their miserable fate it's great to have somebody there to listen to you.

I liked the point IbnAbdulHakim made about tellling them to love Allah (even though nobody else agreed). With a lot of people I am of the opinion that the fault lies in the person's cognition i.e. the way they think, even if they've rid themselves of any external factors they're never really going to be healed unless they change the way they think, and that would include believing in the aayah...'laa yukallifullaha nafsan illa wus'3aha' with 100% certainty, and once they believe that they'll have no problem loving Allah and then everything should come easy to them. i.e ridding themselves of suicidal tendencies...(wish i could explain further but I might regress :X)

However, saying that--- there's really no point debating about this as different things work for different people, and I speak from experience here, Alhamdulillah--- it's fear of Allah that mostly helped me. And its fustrating when people comment that when feeling suicidal you forget Allah, or you hate Him for putting you through the problem! Allahu Akbar! that isnt always the case...because if you priorotise Islam and Allah, they'll be on the forefront of your mind no matter what happens in life, and they'll ALWAYS ALWAYS help you through! insha'Allah!
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Ourra-Tul-'Ain
11-06-2007, 03:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
^ yeah i tried that sis, tried reciting aytul kursi, surah naas falaq etc.

there was a point where she thought she is a divine being :S and then later she went onto christianity, and now shes claiming islaam wears the hijaab but lol. its weird..

shes already been to them imaams, they say theres no jinn possessing her, so i tried it myself... i know its silly but what else are we gnna do :S
Wallahi i know someone just like that bro!

sheikhs say there is no jinn n dat in her. it seemed like it to me:hmm:

but anyways she wears the niqab one day the next she is wearing skinny jeans n some house party.

she takes these pills which also make her FAT.

i think it is the evil eye:scared:.........as MashAllah she was such a pritty young girl who loved her deen.

Allah knows best, just make lots of dua for your cousin:sunny:
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Ourra-Tul-'Ain
11-06-2007, 03:10 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by JihadunNafs
SubhanAllah! I've just read through some of these recent posts! Masha'Allah at the freudian slip sumeyye! lol I think the talking therapy is the best one, when one feels the world has abandoned them to their miserable fate it's great to have somebody there to listen to you.

I liked the point IbnAbdulHakim made about tellling them to love Allah (even though nobody else agreed). With a lot of people I am of the opinion that the fault lies in the person's cognition i.e. the way they think, even if they've rid themselves of any external factors they're never really going to be healed unless they change the way they think, and that would include believing in the aayah...'laa yukallifullaha nafsan illa wus'3aha' with 100% certainty, and once they believe that they'll have no problem loving Allah and then everything should come easy to them. i.e ridding themselves of suicidal tendencies...(wish i could explain further but I might regress :X)

However, saying that--- there's really no point debating about this as different things work for different people, and I speak from experience here, Alhamdulillah--- it's fear of Allah that mostly helped me. And its fustrating when people comment that when feeling suicidal you forget Allah, or you hate Him for putting you through the problem! Allahu Akbar! that isnt always the case...because if you priorotise Islam and Allah, they'll be on the forefront of your mind no matter what happens in life, and they'll ALWAYS ALWAYS help you through! insha'Allah!

MashAllah sis, well said:sunny:
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Re.TiReD
11-06-2007, 03:11 PM
Has anybody studied psychology?? Because I know it'd have something to say about IbnAbdulHakim's cousin, I just can't remember, :hiding: unless you want Islamic advice of course? :)
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-06-2007, 03:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ourra-Tul-'Ain

Allah knows best, just make lots of dua for your cousin:sunny:
will do inshaAllah, may Allah grant her shifa ! Ameen

Has anybody studied psychology?? Because I know it'd have something to say about IbnAbdulHakim's cousin, I just can't remember, unless you want Islamic advice of course?
naa its cool, i posted something on Ummah forum and the feedback i got was amazing, may Allah reward Dhakiyyah !
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 03:24 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ourra-Tul-'Ain
Sister then only Allah can help them. if u feel that way about Allah SWA then:hmm: I really don’t know what to say......because even when I'm really down, I just can not feel that way! "they dnt care remember" well that is just mad I tell ya.

Allah is the only one who can help; even when you are at your lowest you must remember that. You must have some kind of hope, n if you feel that way about Allah then I just don’t know.:uhwhat

sorry i know I'm bablin on a bit
Allah know best.

Ma'ssallamah:sunny:

if u read between the lines..i agree with Ibnabdulhakim abt telling them to love Allah...

but when someons depressed.like serious depression and wants to die-they think its Allahs fault...ur rite,,,it is mad. thats why they are mad.

alternatly, they blame themselves..and want to die either way...Allah doesnt matter to them.

i DONT feel that way.i wish depressed ppl didnt feel that way.

but thats what deprssion is: lack of-or total loss of:
1)imaan/faith
2)hope
3)SELF respect.

they need healing in their imaan...but u cant just 'tell' them to love Allah.

u need to build it up all over again...

do u get me..?

sis jihadunnafs...do u see that i do agree with Ibnabdulhakim abt believing in Allah...

i do..:)
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Re.TiReD
11-06-2007, 03:25 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
will do inshaAllah, may Allah grant her shifa ! Ameen



naa its cool, i posted something on Ummah forum and the feedback i got was amazing, may Allah reward Dhakiyyah !
wow! that's everything i've learnt but cant remember :hiding: great memory and ameen to the du'aa for her...and am sure she's a sis...you called her bro :hiding:

can i post the most important part here? well am gonna anyway...

Depression is a mental illness, its NOT the same as just feeling sad, down, unhappy or whatever. Its caused by a lack of seratonin in the brain - which is an important neurotransmitter which allows the brain to function normally.

Lots of people may say "I'm depressed" or "I feel depressed" ... but they don't mean "I have this illness called depression". If a doctor diagnoses someone with depression he/she is NOT diagnosing that they feel "a bit sad" or "unhappy" - its an actual illess.

Its rather unfortunate that the word depression has a different meaning in ordinary speech cause it leads to this kind of misunderstanding. People don't in normal speech say "I'm feelilng a bit paranoid schyzophrenic at the moment" or "I'm feeling rather bipolar disorder".

So I think unless you actually know what depression is to begin with, you don't know enough to be able to have an opinion of it.

As to what relation depression has to the state of your Imaan and so on - what relation does any illness have with it? What about flu or measles? Allah sends illness as a test, like everything else so there is some relation. The cure of many illnesses - mental and physical - can be found by correcting your lifestyle, but many can have nothing to do with lifestyle. Unless you actually have an indepth knowledge of the illness in question, you're not qualified to make this judgement.
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sevgi
11-06-2007, 03:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim


naa its cool, i posted something on Ummah forum and the feedback i got was amazing, may Allah reward Dhakiyyah !
dnt cross promote..lol..

and no..sorry..no psych here...if u need a historian or a victorian literist (im allowed to make up words..im a literist) im here for ya!!!
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Ummu Sufyaan
11-07-2007, 03:14 AM
:sl:
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
^ yeah i tried that sis, tried reciting aytul kursi, surah naas falaq etc.

there was a point where she thought she is a divine being :S and then later she went onto christianity, and now shes claiming islaam wears the hijaab but lol. its weird..

shes already been to them imaams, they say theres no jinn possessing her, so i tried it myself... i know its silly but what else are we gnna do :S
brother, is she aware of her suroundings, aware of what she speaks,etc. i.e is she ....sane:hiding:
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim

to be honest most depressed people go fat so..
really?, i thought it would be the opposite. i guess it depend on how one reacts to it. some people over eat, some pople under eat, due to it. assuming eating is the factor causing weight gain and loss.


anyways, i havn't read all posts, but i did read yours sis sumeyye, and this caught me:
u cant tell anyone depressed to fall in love with Allah...they dnt care remember..they hate him for putting them in such a situation
i think it depends on how religiously comttied a person is. if their iman is generally not so great, than yeah, i have to agree with you. But you would (at least i would :p) have to advice them with the islamic approach eg, be paitent, there is jannah, etc, but in a subtle kina way. Whereas if a person is more commited, than i dont see why not you should be upfront about your advice, such as, "remember how Prophet....was in a similar situation. hey, you are walking in the footsetps of prophet.... dont you feel good. dont you feel proud" something like that anyway.
i know if i was in that situation (not saying that my iman is so great:p) than i would what the up front advice. :sunny:
:sl:
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Whatsthepoint
11-08-2007, 12:07 AM
There are safer ways of releasing tension than cutting yourself. You can break something, throw something or simply swear.
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Umm Hurairah
11-08-2007, 12:13 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Whatsthepoint
There are safer ways of releasing tension than cutting yourself. You can break something, throw something or simply swear.
Or you can just do Wudu and pray two nafl. :D:D:D
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sevgi
11-08-2007, 08:11 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by maryam11
:sl:




anyways, i havn't read all posts, but i did read yours sis sumeyye, and this caught me:


i think it depends on how religiously comttied a person is. if their iman is generally not so great, than yeah, i have to agree with you. But you would (at least i would :p) have to advice them with the islamic approach eg, be paitent, there is jannah, etc, but in a subtle kina way. Whereas if a person is more commited, than i dont see why not you should be upfront about your advice, such as, "remember how Prophet....was in a similar situation. hey, you are walking in the footsetps of prophet.... dont you feel good. dont you feel proud" something like that anyway.
i know if i was in that situation (not saying that my iman is so great:p) than i would what the up front advice. :sunny:
:sl:
thats what i said...
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Danah
11-08-2007, 08:18 AM
I did it one time when I am 13 or 14 not remeber

I was trying to make a ball basket by cutting a plastic box, I was cutting very hardly the bottom of it, then ..... suddenly, I cut my hand instead of the box layer (that was harmful):cry::cry::cry:
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11-08-2007, 09:26 AM
:salamext:

But wasn't that an accident sis? Lol I meant when you do it deliberately...
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Ummu Sufyaan
11-08-2007, 09:27 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
thats what i said...
:sl:
oh really, sorry. i must of misunderstood.:embarrass
:sl:
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Ummu Sufyaan
11-08-2007, 10:29 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ourra-Tul-'Ain
Wallahi i know someone just like that bro!

sheikhs say there is no jinn n dat in her. it seemed like it to me:hmm:

but anyways she wears the niqab one day the next she is wearing skinny jeans n some house party.

she takes these pills which also make her FAT.

i think it is the evil eye:scared:.........as MashAllah she was such a pritty young girl who loved her deen.

Allah knows best, just make lots of dua for your cousin:sunny:
:sl:
does she have manic depression?
:sl:
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Danah
11-08-2007, 08:27 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:

But wasn't that an accident sis? Lol I meant when you do it deliberately...
opp.. :-[ sorry it seems that I misunderstanded you in the first place
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01-28-2008, 01:12 PM
:salamext:

*BUMP
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qassy!
01-28-2008, 02:34 PM
I have never harmed my self!

btw I am not surprised there more sisters who harm then selves :( I knew a few who do over stupid reasons :(
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krypton6
01-28-2008, 02:43 PM
Why on earth would some one cut him/her self. Its ridiculous and so stupid!
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chacha_jalebi
01-28-2008, 02:57 PM
another dead thread resurrected :mmokay:

i think MOST people that do self harm, do it for attention honestly, because if you really wana harm yourself, jump of a buildin!

but there are some who do it, because they might feel helpless about somethin, but its haraam and its not gona help anyway, so i hope all the people that do it, do realise that its stupid, they should get talking to people, if they sad or down! thats the best way, harming yourself wont help!!
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-28-2008, 03:01 PM
^ sometimes you may not find the people you really need available to talk to, and they want to harm themselves not kill themselves. Most people realise the haramness of suiciding but not self-harm.

I think if people didnt vent up stress and anxiety then they would never reach that stage to begin with, they need an outlet, i guess that can be islaam
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01-28-2008, 03:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by chacha_jalebi
another dead thread resurrected :mmokay:
:salamext:

I BUMPed this thread because a lot of people can benefit from it. I’m sorry my actions were not preferred by you.

i think MOST people that do self harm, do it for attention honestly, because if you really wana harm yourself, jump of a buildin!

but there are some who do it, because they might feel helpless about somethin, but its haraam and its not gona help anyway, so i hope all the people that do it, do realise that its stupid, they should get talking to people, if they sad or down! thats the best way, harming yourself wont help!!
Yes but some people get addicted to it, it's a like a drug. Once started can't stop.
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truemuslim
01-28-2008, 03:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
I have never harmed my self!

btw I am not surprised there more sisters who harm then selves :( I knew a few who do over stupid reasons :(

lol...i already saw ur other post..they crazy tho.lol...



wow girls got 26 and boys got 4 ...heres probably the reason...girls stay in the kitchen and cook...cuttin..all that...brothers barely got reasons...4...lol:embarrass:D:w:
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chacha_jalebi
01-28-2008, 03:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AhLÄÄM
:salamext:

I BUMPed this thread because a lot of people can benefit from it. I’m sorry my actions were not preferred by you.

Yes but some people get addicted to it, it's a like a drug. Once started can't stop.
lol sister, i didnt mean it in a bad wayyy:statisfie

but like it wont help them, looking back at the scars and stuff, that will just bring it all back!

anyone who feels the urge to do it, i swear talk to anyone, even me!! and talkin just makes it so much better, honestly you will realise harmin isnt the way forward

and people usually harm themselfs over a boy/girl. or failed in exams

come on these are small issues man, if the boy/girl really cared for you, would they let you harm yourself? and why harm your body, when Allah (swt) has created it for you!!

people should think stuff through and they will realise its stupid
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------
01-28-2008, 03:38 PM
:salamext:

and people usually harm themselfs over a boy/girl. or failed in exams
Sometimes people have more serious problems in their life, which they find hard to cope with, and they feel as if no one understand them, so that is their one escape out of reality.
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Lina
01-28-2008, 03:42 PM
:sl:

I thought they did it to feel something other than mental pain and when cutting yourself you reach that goal, because at that moment you can only feel that physical pain which gets your mind of the mental pain I guess. Then it becomes a drug.

Those who would go to such lenghts to get some relief, seriously need help. These people mostly suffer from some sort of depression and should seek help bi idni Allah.

Also, we tend to think that those people just want attention or like the drama. I don't think this is the case. Those that suffer from some sort of depression need appropriate treatment, be it psychotherapy, medications etc.

Wa Allahu A'lam.
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chacha_jalebi
01-28-2008, 03:49 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AhLÄÄM
:salamext:



Sometimes people have more serious problems in their life, which they find hard to cope with, and they feel as if no one understand them, so that is their one escape out of reality.
even more serious problems,

i promise you sis, anyone has any problem, self harm will not solve that problem, it will add to the pain, imagine your hurting from the inside, and then you hurt yourself from the outside, thats just double hurt!!

its not gona help, turn to Allah (swt) when you feel down, talk to him, honestly you will feel better and talk to others, they can give you good advice!

but if anyone turns to harm, it wont help them and they will just be sinnin!!
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Lina
01-28-2008, 04:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by chacha_jalebi
even more serious problems,

i promise you sis, anyone has any problem, self harm will not solve that problem, it will add to the pain, imagine your hurting from the inside, and then you hurt yourself from the outside, thats just double hurt!!

its not gona help, turn to Allah (swt) when you feel down, talk to him, honestly you will feel better and talk to others, they can give you good advice!

but if anyone turns to harm, it wont help them and they will just be sinnin!!

There are those who have suffered from much more horrible things and will not get into a depression and others which much smaller issues on their mind and will get depressed. There's a serious problem (serotonin, hormones, the brain etc.) If you suffer from depressions you won't be able to look at your situation with such logic as you and I can. It's just not that easy. If it was, why would we even treat people with depression? Why not just tell them to get over it? Why not? because it's a disease.
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-28-2008, 05:46 PM
^ yeah but anti-depressents dont help, they only make things worser. Im actually quite angry at the doctors of my mentally disturbed cousin, they prescribed her anti-depressents and all its done is make her humungous and she shakes a lot.

Apparently its working though... even though we see no signs of that...


i guess the only cure to depression is contentment?!
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ummsara1108
01-28-2008, 06:02 PM
women are more prone because they have much more stress levels then men do. On average women have more responsabilities period. I can see where they come to the point of self harm, but now we are aware of this matter it's up to us to help anyway that we can. I'm here if anyone needs to talk...
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islamirama
01-28-2008, 06:03 PM
What we have is lacking of strong eman and islamic knowledge for these individuals. strong eman is built on good islamic knowledge. The knowledge will keep things in perspective for the person so that he/she will know what is qadr, will learn sabr in hard times, will know the reward for those who have sabr, will the right your body has over you (including not being harmed), will k now duas to keep safe from evil eye ,sihr, and shayateen, and other things to deal with this "illness"
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Souljette
01-28-2008, 06:24 PM
Salamualikum,
I agree with bro chacha_jalebi to an extent like it reallyy gets to me that ppl cut themselves and all honestly I had 6 or 7 friends who did it and they wouldn't tell me or they stopped and many i talked to and i would tell them to stop tell them that its wrong and that there is no point to it...looking bak they'll think they were so stupid..yes there are people who want attention and that is why they do this but there are people who have no confidence whatsoever or faith in Allah(S.W.T) and they start doing this..I don't see a point to it..this topic would get me veryyy angry at times and i would say it to all of them that what's the point..i don't get it if you want to kill yourself just tell me..lol ok that reallyy scared them..i would talk to them all the time and made them promise me not to do it again and out of all of them one still did it and SHOWED IT TO ME...i got soo angry i hit her there and she got the point..i didn't hurt her hurt her but enough for her to get it..that was just askin for attention..somedays ago i gave a lecture to this other girl telling her why its rong and all because she was getting realllyy addicted to it..and it's truu when you get addicted to it ...it is veryyyy hard to stop...and you need a friend to help you through and most of all faith in Allah(s.w.t) ...I think these sisters and brothers need to be kept busy because when they are busy they don't really think of it as much while brothers and sisters who aren't that busy they think too much about it and causing self-harm.. i mean think about brothers and sisters in Iraq...everyday they are wishing for one more day and over here we are trying hurt ourselves...I would bring this example to my friends..and most people like bro chacha_jalebi said..hurt themselves over useless material dunya things that are not worth going to hell for...like when in love with boyfriends/gf and they hurt you..yes different people have different ways to deal with things and some don't have any at all and these people need help from friends who help them stop or psychologists ... sometimes you have to talk to them by taking things in perspective like giving them examples and understanding their problem but yet sayin that they can deal wit it..that they can handle it..Allah doesn't put something your way if you can't handle it...I mean i would lecture my friends telling them that' its wrong that they had no excuse for it ...that they should think about people who don't even have time to think about this stuff yet they go through far more than people in the states or canada or anywhere else or dubai whatever...but many depressed people care about themselves and could care less about the world and even then you gotta tell them they can handle it..
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qassy!
01-28-2008, 10:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by truemuslim
lol...i already saw ur other post..they crazy tho.lol...


there girls who are obsessed and believe they cannot carry on with life because of me :embarrass
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sevgi
01-29-2008, 06:44 AM
salams..

people harm themselves not for a solution or a way to get somewhere with an issue...

they do it out of confusion...they have mixed emotions...and dont know how to channel or vent it...

the main emotion is usually hopelessness...

another thing is that they feel as tho their issues are 'greater' or 'diffrent' to others' issues....in order to portray this to themselves...or perhaps to other ppl, they harm themselves...

the moment one realises that they have come to the point of harming themselves...it escalates the issue to a higher level...to a new realm...and ppl who find out actually take the issue seriously...coz unfortunately...in todays day n age...ppl are selfish..and ppl who harm themselves feel as tho noone will understand them...or noone will care...bt the moment u hurt urself...bang...u get the attention u feel ur issue deserves.

keep in mind that this isnt intentional or strategic...they dnt sit there and calculate these things...they are merely messages from the brain to the body..subconsiously...

peace.
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Ummu Sufyaan
01-30-2008, 12:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim

I think if people didnt vent up stress and anxiety then they would never reach that stage to begin with, they need an outlet, i guess that can be islaam
:sl:
some people cant help but keep in that stress and anxiety. they pretty much have no choice but to. sometimes poeple need to vent on other people that hurt them to satisfy them.
:sl:
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Souljette
01-30-2008, 12:57 PM
Sis sumeyye your right usually i hear the words you don't understand me ..no one understands me..even tho i perfectly can and i'm trying to help but in the end that's all they say and its true that people are veryy selfish in this day and age...I agree with you and i just wish that these sisters and bros and other people stop this habit
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sevgi
01-30-2008, 02:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Souljette
Sis sumeyye your right usually i hear the words you don't understand me ..no one understands me..even tho i perfectly can and i'm trying to help but in the end that's all they say and its true that people are veryy selfish in this day and age...I agree with you and i just wish that these sisters and bros and other people stop this habit
jazakallah khayr sis...im glad u agree with me:)
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 12:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ummsara1108
women are more prone because they have much more stress levels then men do. On average women have more responsabilities period. I can see where they come to the point of self harm, but now we are aware of this matter it's up to us to help anyway that we can. I'm here if anyone needs to talk...
still that does not justify self harm
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sevgi
01-31-2008, 12:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
still that does not justify self harm
nothing can ever justfy self harm...

what we can do is find the reasoning and mentality behind it...and try to work against it...
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 12:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
nothing can ever justfy self harm...

what we can do is find the reasoning and mentality behind it...and try to work against it...
personally i cant reason with it!
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ummsara1108
01-31-2008, 12:55 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
still that does not justify self harm

I didn't say it justified anything, it's just my opinion, the matter now is how can we help those who choose to do this...
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------
01-31-2008, 01:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
personally i cant reason with it!
:salamext:

Guys can never reason with anything. You won't be able to reason with it, because you are not the one doing it. You won't understand what the other person is going through.
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 02:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AhLÄÄM
:salamext:

Guys can never reason with anything. You won't be able to reason with it, because you are not the one doing it. You won't understand what the other person is going through.
lol......but i harming your self doesnt help you in ANY WAY if it did I would reason with it if it does not help anyone in any way I wont reason or cant reason with it!
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 02:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ummsara1108
I didn't say it justified anything, it's just my opinion, the matter now is how can we help those who choose to do this...
there beyond help.............
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------
01-31-2008, 02:46 PM
:salamext:

^ You see, this type of attitude is what I hate. How do u know they are beyond help? If people actually bothered to help them or talk to them, they would realise that all self harming people need is a person that understands them and a bit of support!
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 02:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AhLÄÄM
:salamext:

^ You see, this type of attitude is what I hate. How do u know they are beyond help? If people actually bothered to help them or talk to them, they would realise that all self harming people need is a person that understand them and a bit of support!

Well let me tell you why I think there beyond help in my opinion
My girlfriend I had, i didn't like her and I said I have 2 stop seeing u she didn't take it well. I didnt think much of it but then 1 week later she cut my name in her body. Now see thats so stupid and I spoke 2 her and shes just giving so many stupid reasons to me.

Thats why in my opinion I believe they have no hope. and in UR opinion they have hope

I think its in human nature to avoid hurting your self. look what people do and Im not saying just girls i am saying about 2 all males and females who harm them selves

also

like im so stressed out with my work atm its 2 much doesnt mean ill start cutting my leg off does it? (ok thats abit extreme)
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------
01-31-2008, 02:53 PM
:salamext:

^ Different people cope with stress different ways.
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 02:54 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AhLÄÄM
:salamext:

^ Different people cope with stress different ways.
Yeah but its not gaining anything are you?

Im not saying ur harming ur self or anything

but for example

You got so much stress unbelievable amount then you start cutting ur hand and stuff what do THEY gain ?

It doesn't make sense
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------
01-31-2008, 02:59 PM
:salamext:

No, they don’t gain anything. But they get distracted from the real problem they are facing momentarily.

As I said, if you haven’t spoken to self harming people or do it yourself, you won’t understand.
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 03:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AhLÄÄM
:salamext:

No, they don’t gain anything. But they get distracted from the real problem they are facing momentarily.

As I said, if you haven’t spoken to self harming people or do it yourself, you won’t understand.
Yes I have spoken to 4 people who self harm them selves and I know them very well seriously I have tried to come terms with this and it just makes me abit hacked off

If they want to get distracted to the real problem go out ? nothing 2 hard :confused:
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------
01-31-2008, 03:16 PM
:salamext:

^ Look, I don't want to go round in circles. If you don't understand you don't understand. Khalaas.
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 03:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AhLÄÄM
:salamext:

^ Look, I don't want to go round in circles. If you don't understand you don't understand. Khalaas.
Theres nothing to understand :cry:
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truemuslim
01-31-2008, 04:27 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
Well let me tell you why I think there beyond help in my opinion
My girlfriend I had, i didn't like her and I said I have 2 stop seeing u she didn't take it well. I didnt think much of it but then 1 week later she cut my name in her body. Now see thats so stupid and I spoke 2 her and shes just giving so many stupid reasons to me.

Thats why in my opinion I believe they have no hope. and in UR opinion they have hope

I think its in human nature to avoid hurting your self. look what people do and Im not saying just girls i am saying about 2 all males and females who harm them selves

also

like im so stressed out with my work atm its 2 much doesnt mean ill start cutting my leg off does it? (ok thats abit extreme)
^ HAHAHAHA MADE ME LAUGH HAHAHAHAHA




okey im done...back on topic lol...just to put this in this lil thing yall r havin here...........its haram to self harm urself!!!!haram to not take care of ur body!!HARAM

thats all..:D
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 04:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by truemuslim
^ HAHAHAHA MADE ME LAUGH HAHAHAHAHA




okey im done...back on topic lol...just to put this in this lil thing yall r havin here...........its haram to self harm urself!!!!haram to not take care of ur body!!HARAM

thats all..:D

yes thats another point its haram! so theres no understanding!
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ummsara1108
01-31-2008, 05:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
there beyond help.............
Well i'm so sorry you have given up hope for those who need it,
and i'm glad your life has been so wondeful that you have never turned to or even concidered selfhaming yourself,
besides it isn't about you it's about them.
But what we do know your not even interested in helping a fellow or non fellow brother/sister, Thanks for your support.

BTW it's haram to turn away from someone in need...
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truemuslim
01-31-2008, 06:03 PM
^ who is in need?
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 07:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ummsara1108
Well i'm so sorry you have given up hope for those who need it,
and i'm glad your life has been so wondeful that you have never turned to or even concidered selfhaming yourself,
besides it isn't about you it's about them.
But what we do know your not even interested in helping a fellow or non fellow brother/sister, Thanks for your support.

BTW it's haram to turn away from someone in need...
A) I have never given hope for people who harm them selves it just doesn't make sense to me therefore I don't care

B) When did I say my life is do wonderful I have my problems but I solve them other ways not my harming my self

C) I know its not about me its about them I am giving my opinion

D) I am interested in helping people regardless or race or religion but when it comes down to things like this I don't bother
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 07:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by truemuslim
^ who is in need?
people who harm them selves
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------
01-31-2008, 08:01 PM
:salamext:

1st of all, moderators, please delete off topic posts. I don't want this thread to be closed.

A request to brothers and sisters - stay on topic.

2ndly

format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
yes thats another point its haram! so theres no understanding!
Music is haraam, people try to justify that? I'm not justifying Self harm, but I am saying that people that self harm need other people that are understanding and need people to support them, because they go through a very rough time.
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Woodrow
01-31-2008, 08:27 PM
The question that has bantered around for the past page or 2 is "Why do people self harm?" The question is not if it is haram or halal, that is a separate topic.

The answer to "Why do people self harm?" is to distract away from the main problems.

It is very similar to having a bad toothache that the pain is unbearable, so you bash your hand into a door. Hurts, like crazy, but for a few minutes you forget you have a toothache.
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sevgi
01-31-2008, 11:39 PM
everyone is going round in circles...

i made a post earlier..which answers all of these...and yet i feel as though i need to post the same post all over agen...

qassy...do u really want answers or ar u after a nice opinion justification debate?

if u want answers...they are in this thread...including my last two posts.

there is no justification for it...its been said...and there is reasoning behind it...as in there are reasons why ppl do it...that doesnt open grounds for you to 'reason' with such an issue...

if u dnt feel that u wud like to, or cannot...or shud not deal with such issues and ppl...u dnt have to...

and i dnt think u shud as u just quite frankly do not understand the sincerity and instability of the ppl who go through this problem...

ur ex-gf...thats not self harm...thats adorning her body with the name of the guy she loves and will get over it...how old is she 16? lol...no one above that age wud do such a thing..trust me...ive had every letter of the alphabet carved into my body...it was the cool thing to do...u like a guy called Ahmad and u scrape in an A...it dissapears...lol...
this case is like getting a tattoo...ppl who get them dnt think 'hey...screw the world im gna get a tattoo in order to hurt myself'...

yes...we all know its haraam to self harm..thats y u CANNOT justify it...

so lets start from scratch ay???

sis Ahlaam...maybe u can pose a new direction for this thread...or repose issues which have not yet sunk in properly...we have quite a bit on 'why ppl do it' and 'how stupid it is' and 'why ppl shudnt do it'...

maybe the next step is 'how ppl can stop doing it' or 'how we can help them'..?

peace.
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 11:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
everyone is going round in circles...

i made a post earlier..which answers all of these...and yet i feel as though i need to post the same post all over agen...

qassy...do u really want answers or ar u after a nice opinion justification debate?

if u want answers...they are in this thread...including my last two posts.


there is no justification for it...its been said...and there is reasoning behind it...as in there are reasons why ppl do it...that doesnt open grounds for you to 'reason' with such an issue...

if u dnt feel that u wud like to, or cannot...or shud not deal with such issues and ppl...u dnt have to...

and i dnt think u shud as u just quite frankly do not understand the sincerity and instability of the ppl who go through this problem...

ur ex-gf...thats not self harm...thats adorning her body with the name of the guy she loves and will get over it...how old is she 16? lol...no one above that age wud do such a thing..trust me...ive had every letter of the alphabet carved into my body...it was the cool thing to do...u like a guy called Ahmad and u scrape in an A...it dissapears...lol...
this case is like getting a tattoo...ppl who get them dnt think 'hey...screw the world im gna get a tattoo in order to hurt myself'...

yes...we all know its haraam to self harm..thats y u CANNOT justify it...

so lets start from scratch ay???

sis Ahlaam...maybe u can pose a new direction for this thread...or repose issues which have not yet sunk in properly...we have quite a bit on 'why ppl do it' and 'how stupid it is' and 'why ppl shudnt do it'...

maybe the next step is 'how ppl can stop doing it' or 'how we can help them'..?

peace.

shes 17


I understand what you are saying but its not understandable

Ok there depressed then they leave the country for example I can understand that, but I wouldnt reason with it

like someone harming them selves its somthing I cant understand,



let me read you last two posts like you said brb


EDIT: SOrry sister your quote in bold how can you not call that self harm ? Making your self bleed the pain just a few letters!

Ok even if its a worser case and I am sure there is still doesmt mean they do it

What I am trying 2 get as these people who do it

They are not achiving anything are they? there not getting less depresssed are they?
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qassy!
01-31-2008, 11:52 PM
They are not achiving anything are they? there not getting less depresssed are they?
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sevgi
02-01-2008, 12:01 AM
those last two posts u quoted aint mine...:)

in my post it states that 'they arent trying to achieve anything...it doesnt make them less depressed...

i then stated what it does do for them..

hold on..ill grab it for u and post it agen:)
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sevgi
02-01-2008, 12:02 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by sumeyye
salams..

people harm themselves not for a solution or a way to get somewhere with an issue...

they do it out of confusion...they have mixed emotions...and dont know how to channel or vent it...

the main emotion is usually hopelessness...

another thing is that they feel as tho their issues are 'greater' or 'diffrent' to others' issues....in order to portray this to themselves...or perhaps to other ppl, they harm themselves...

the moment one realises that they have come to the point of harming themselves...it escalates the issue to a higher level...to a new realm...and ppl who find out actually take the issue seriously...coz unfortunately...in todays day n age...ppl are selfish..and ppl who harm themselves feel as tho noone will understand them...or noone will care...bt the moment u hurt urself...bang...u get the attention U FEEL UR ISSUE DESERVES...

keep in mind that this isnt intentional or strategic...they dnt sit there and calculate these things...they are merely messages from the brain to the body..subconsiously...

peace.
here it is...
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Souljette
02-03-2008, 03:25 PM
Lol honestly i don't get it...i don't understand why people are arguing over certain things that argument isn't even needed for....bro qassy has his opinion of why people cut themselves and i agree with him on the fact that they don't achieve anything and that they shouldn't do it and its not justifiable..ok we all agree on this...so now bro qassy is rite in this part..there's no need of argument..now we have to tell sisters and bro's in this forum how to tell people to stop this..how to tell sisters or bros..most of the time these sisters/bro's aren't really islamic or don't have faith in Allah (s.w.t) ...either they are just childish like sis sumeyye said..teenagers...being a teenage girl myself there are times i can't bear things so i just keep praying to Allah(s.w.t) hoping everything will be aiight..or punch sumthing and i recommend people have something they can hit so they vent their anger out that way...now these are teenagers ....but there are people who reallyyyy have problems ..and these people need support from both family and every1 else around them and doctors ofcourse and their family's prayers as well..

Now this thread is not about agreeing with people cutting themselves...i don't know what the real point of this thread was but i'm thinking it's to help people to stop it..and till now i haven't reallyy seen anyting in regards to stopping them..and let's talk logic here please..every'1's entitled to their own opinion...many people are weak while others are strong in controling themselves..we have to make these weak ppl feel strong...and help them build themselves up...yes we all agree it's haram and this is the main pointtttt....i had a talk wit my friend about this...and alhamdullahhh a month or so later her friend told me htat she actually stopped cutting herself..so c'mmon people let's stop arguing when we're supposed to stop being on the cutting person's side and instead help them cope wit it..
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sevgi
02-04-2008, 09:11 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Souljette
Lol honestly i don't get it...i don't understand why people are arguing over certain things that argument isn't even needed for....bro qassy has his opinion of why people cut themselves and i agree with him on the fact that they don't achieve anything and that they shouldn't do it and its not justifiable..ok we all agree on this...so now bro qassy is rite in this part..there's no need of argument..now we have to tell sisters and bro's in this forum how to tell people to stop this..how to tell sisters or bros..most of the time these sisters/bro's aren't really islamic or don't have faith in Allah (s.w.t) ...either they are just childish like sis sumeyye said..teenagers...being a teenage girl myself there are times i can't bear things so i just keep praying to Allah(s.w.t) hoping everything will be aiight..or punch sumthing and i recommend people have something they can hit so they vent their anger out that way...now these are teenagers ....but there are people who reallyyyy have problems ..and these people need support from both family and every1 else around them and doctors ofcourse and their family's prayers as well..

Now this thread is not about agreeing with people cutting themselves...i don't know what the real point of this thread was but i'm thinking it's to help people to stop it..and till now i haven't reallyy seen anyting in regards to stopping them..and let's talk logic here please..every'1's entitled to their own opinion...many people are weak while others are strong in controling themselves..we have to make these weak ppl feel strong...and help them build themselves up...yes we all agree it's haram and this is the main pointtttt....i had a talk wit my friend about this...and alhamdullahhh a month or so later her friend told me htat she actually stopped cutting herself..so c'mmon people let's stop arguing when we're supposed to stop being on the cutting person's side and instead help them cope wit it..
edit
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Cabdullahi
02-04-2008, 09:22 AM
I dont do self harm but when i mess up on a particular thing i just smack self on the head ..does that count?
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------
02-04-2008, 09:25 AM
:salamext:

^ Nah lol.
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Cabdullahi
02-04-2008, 09:27 AM
YEAH i thought so but im very critical of myself and i hope i dont kill myself in the near future
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02-04-2008, 01:30 PM
:salamext:

Its got nothing to do with killing yourself!!!!!!!!!!!
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Cabdullahi
02-04-2008, 03:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AhLÄÄM
:salamext:

Its got nothing to do with killing yourself!!!!!!!!!!!
OK OK chill out!:offended::cry::offended::cry:
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------
02-04-2008, 03:41 PM
:salamext:

Sorry, but people that harm themselves are rarely in suicidal mode.
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*N3LLY*
02-04-2008, 03:54 PM
:sl: every1... i hant been on this web in agez.. anyway.. this cuting buisness yeh it is a common thing ppl do.. i think its due to distress like a brother said.. n they dnt knw ah else to do etc.. n feel like no1'z der for them etc.. buh its sad if we dnt help them and juss diss em coz thats only gna make it worse..
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------
04-03-2008, 12:41 PM
:salamext:

*bump*
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ZarathustraDK
04-03-2008, 02:11 PM
It's strange. Of all the people I've met through my life, only one had tried cutting herself. Then I go in here and suddenly everyone is doing it.

If I may be frank, does muslims (muslim girls from the poll I guess) have something to warrant cutting themselves which other people do not?
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------
04-03-2008, 02:13 PM
:salamext:

^ No, harming yourself isnt allowed in Islaam...
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ZarathustraDK
04-03-2008, 02:33 PM
^ Then why the abnormal poll?

Just because it isn't allowed doesn't mean people will not do it if they're frustrated about something. So maybe, just maybe, islam has something in it that causes this frustration. Yes korrelation does not equate causation, but the possibility is there.
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------
04-03-2008, 02:38 PM
:salamext:

So maybe, just maybe, islam has something in it that causes this frustration.
Or maybe, people don't study Islaam properly, and see the peace it can bring, and they end up cutting themselves?

Anyway, I don't want this thread to turn into an Islam bashing thread. If you wish to dicuss this topic, please open another thread.

Thank you for your co-operation. :)
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Malaikah
06-18-2008, 12:47 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ZarathustraDK
It's strange. Of all the people I've met through my life, only one had tried cutting herself. Then I go in here and suddenly everyone is doing it.

If I may be frank, does muslims (muslim girls from the poll I guess) have something to warrant cutting themselves which other people do not?
Your analysis is flawed, you haven't factored in whether people are more likely to admit it on-line then they are to admit it to your face. I went to a Muslim high school and have HEAPS of Muslim female friends and I don't know anyone who has engaged in self harm.

Furthermore, in order for any comparison to be made you need to have another poll for non-Muslims only, preferably from a similar age group so you can compare. The statistics may very well be the same and it may not be a Muslim women thing at all - perhaps the rates are higher in all women compared to men.

Also, keep in mind that about twice as many women as men voted which is why it seems like a huge difference.

As for your implication that there is something in Islam that is causing this - again, very shallow. There are many other factors, for example, social issues. Muslims are a minority in western countries and face a lot of issues as a result. The apparently higher rates of self harm may be due to living in a society that does not accept you, not because of the religion it self (although this is irrelevant because it has not yet been established that Muslim women are more likely to do it anyway).
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sevgi
06-21-2008, 04:48 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ZarathustraDK
It's strange. Of all the people I've met through my life, only one had tried cutting herself. Then I go in here and suddenly everyone is doing it.

If I may be frank, does muslims (muslim girls from the poll I guess) have something to warrant cutting themselves which other people do not?
what makes u think that only muslim girls have voted on this..?

remember, all the people uve met in ur life cannot come to terms with a poll on an internet forum..

this is the 'world wide web'...

maybe u live in happy land:P
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------
06-23-2008, 09:47 AM
:salamext:

I think this problem exists in both Muslims and Non Muslims...
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SafaAuditore
08-15-2011, 10:26 PM
Being Muslim – having self harm banned in Islam – doesn’t exactly cross out all possibilities of DOING it. It is emotional pain that results in self harm, so it hardly even has anything to do with religion. We are better at avoiding it though, because of our faith, but it doesn’t necessarily mean we’re not going to be able to completely avoid it because of it.
Sometimes you’re at that point where you don’t really know WHAT to do; you’re just in blind pain. The first thing that you do is vent… You punch things. You may scratch yourself. You’ll obviously cry. You might pray. And if it’s bad enough, you may result to cutting yourself. The reason is because it lets your emotional pain that nobody sees permanently scar on the outside.
You’re not going to think, “ohhh it’s haram I cannot do it.” No, you don’t really chooooose to do it. You just do it. It hurts when you’re at that point of pain that you just do things without thinking. If you think before cutting, then there won’t really be much cutting, now would there… ;)
I know this is an old as hell thread but I just thought I’d post my input on it… :D
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IslamicRevival
08-19-2011, 07:32 AM
I've never understood why people self harm, the thought of someone inflicting pain to their own self makes me wince.

Is self harm an illness?
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SafaAuditore
08-20-2011, 03:58 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Vision
I've never understood why people self harm, the thought of someone inflicting pain to their own self makes me wince.

Is self harm an illness?
People do it as an attempt to eliminate emotional pain by showing it on the outside. It’s not something you can really understand until you stoop to such pain....and possibly lack of faith XD
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Muezzin
08-20-2011, 04:02 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Vision
I've never understood why people self harm, the thought of someone inflicting pain to their own self makes me wince.

Is self harm an illness?
It seems to be more a symptom of depression.
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SlaveOfGod
08-20-2011, 04:09 AM
I've spoken to people who take part in self harm and when questioned as to why they do it, their answers were scary. The teenage period is really hard fir some people by the sounds of it...
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tango92
08-20-2011, 04:10 AM
ive never understood why this was haram. people like to quote the verse

" make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction..."

things like smoking i understand, but its not like cutting yourself will lead to your eventual death or anything. also suppose you like scratching your skin to make pictures or because it feels nice (like i did when i was a kid lol) then isnt that also self harm?
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sis muslimah
01-24-2012, 02:32 AM
why would anyone want to harm themself :hmm:
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Abz2000
01-24-2012, 05:21 AM
looks like the sisters need to invest in punchbags to take out all their frustrations on,
i hung a large one on the tree in the garden and i can assure you it really leaves you relieved,
i even feel like stopping smoking after a good half hour or an hour with it
then again, smoking when stressed could be a form of self harm,
and to think i voted no
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CosmicPathos
01-24-2012, 05:25 AM
self harm could be a sign of many pschiatric disorders.

Depression, probably, if they want to commit suicide.

in other disorders, ppl harm themselves not because they want to die, but because harming themselves makes them feel good about themselves. For exampel Bulimia nervosa. Or for example borderline personality disorder.
It could be psychosis and schizphrenia too if these people have delisions or hallucinations which force them to harm themselves.

OR it could be just EMO emotional love phase that ppl go through when they are stupid teenagers in high school and listen to lady gaga.
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Ramadhan
01-24-2012, 06:55 AM
Like cosmic says, self harm are normally signs of psychiatric disorders.

I knew someone who self harmed herself. She did it because:
1. it gave her the feel of pain, to counter the pain she feels in her heart because of her situation.
2. it gave her some sort of control to do anything, even if it harms her own body.
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'Abd Al-Maajid
01-24-2012, 07:08 AM
Yikes! I see I am one of the very few members who have voted for the third option. :exhausted

I usually tend to harm myself when I am depressed and angry, but I have never thought of harming myself fatally. And I think it's normal to exhibit such behavior occasionally. :p
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UmmuShaheed
01-27-2012, 02:27 AM
^^ I agree!
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UmmuShaheed
01-27-2012, 02:29 AM
I meant with the comment sis pearl made.
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Txyib
01-27-2012, 02:35 AM
asalam
i find this topic not very good
people should be harming themselves as the body does not belong to them and belongs to allah;everything in this world belongs to allah s.w.t and we should not disrespect or harm it
wasalam
محمد طيب
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