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mgzm
08-01-2007, 08:22 PM
Hello everybody,
I am new to this bulletin-board but I would like to ask a question, I just can't find the right place.
I will post my question here and I am sorry and hope nobody will get upset about it.
I used to have a Muslim boyfriend, we love each other very much, we planed on meeting and getting married one day (he lives in Egypt and i lived in Germany). Then something really bad has happened (it is a long awful story) anyways I ended up being married to a man of my religion, who was 15 years older then me. Then I met my ex-boyfriend again and we never stopped loving each other. We've been talking for 3 years now, that is how long I have been married. I'm thinking about divorce to be together with my ex-boyfriend. But he told me now that I've been married...and because I knew him even before my marriage, we couldn't marry, it has something to do with Islam religion ,he said it is because it says in Quran that woman should not leave her husband for another man, even if she loves the other man. And in this case because I love my ex-boyfriend I would divorce because of him and that is not acceptable. Only if I would change my religion we could marry and I would have to leave my husband, because he would be of a different religion then me and Muslim woman aren't supposed to be married to man of other religion. But even though I would do this for him, I would also have to completely change my whole lifestyle, like for example I would have to wear a head scarf (Hijab)...and I just couldn't do those other changes, because I grew up in a different culture, I know it will be killing me everyday. So I was wondering if anybody knows what Quran says about it and if it is true what my ex-boyfriend is saying to me? And is there another way? Thank you all so much I really appreciate your help!
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Pk_#2
08-01-2007, 08:35 PM
Hiya Mgzm,

Welcome to Li :)

About your question i'll ask a moderator to move it to a place where more people are likely to view it, so you will recieve more answers inshaAllah (God willing)

Peace be upon those who follow guidance. :D
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mgzm
08-01-2007, 08:39 PM
Hi Umma and thank you so very much :D
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Pk_#2
08-01-2007, 08:46 PM
Originally Posted by mgzm
Hi Umma and thank you so very much :D
:statisfie It's been moved, i hope you get the answers you need.
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mgzm
08-01-2007, 08:48 PM
One more question....to where was it moved?
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Pk_#2
08-01-2007, 08:50 PM
General chat.

*here*

lol, i know it doesn't look like it moved, it did though hah!
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<nasira>
08-01-2007, 10:03 PM
hi mgzm
welcome 2 da forum...hpefully 1 day, we can welcome u in2 da folds of our beautiful religion :)
i wud lyk 2 share wiv u a quraanic verse: laa ikraha fiddeen, which means there is no compulsion in religion.
islam is such a compassionate religion and allah is most forgiving...
those are the facts...my opinion is u shud do what is best for u; if u feel u will be happier wiv ur ex boyfriend then it its best if its a legitimate relationship, (that wud include divorce) otherwise ur relationship cud be leading onto adultery which is strictly forbidden in both islam and christianity...
if u decide 2 marry ur ex boyfriend then u neednt worry, u can take it step by step...noone expects u 2 do everything perfectly!
take it easy and i wish u al the best with ur decision making...if u hav any concerns then am sure wel all b more than willing 2 help u out..
all the best :)
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Aisha!
08-06-2007, 03:14 AM
wow confusing lol
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believer
08-06-2007, 07:06 AM
Originally Posted by Aisha!
wow confusing lol
Salaamu'alaikum! May the Peace and Blessings and the serenity of mind be unto you from Allah.

Hi Aisha... I am a revert and I used to be a christian with double standards. I used to be in-love for many first times. ("In love for the first time and this time I know its' for real.) I can relate to your story.

According to what I know in Islam... God hates it when we are placing Him only as second to anything or anyone. Islam is a religion of nature and moderation. If you are to become a Muslim just because you love your first boyfriend so much... then you are practicing Shirk. Shirk is the only sin God cannot forgive.

I suggest you re-examine your priority and values. If you don't love your present husband - file a divorce. But don't make your first boyfriend as your excuse...

afterwards, learn and study Islam. I suggest you get yourself a Qur'an with tranliterrations of your own language or English. When you read the Qur'an, make sure you have just washed your hands... and you are not menstrating. Ask for guidance and protection to God as your opening prayer and start reading the first Chapter... Surrah Al Fatihah.

afterwards... read it on. And try to read, comprehend and finish it from cover to cover... there is no hurry. But if you come to develop the passion for finding the truth... the Happiness and contentment you will discover will be much greater than your first boyfriend.

If you put GOD first! all the things that you ask for shall be added unto you... in this life and in the hereafter. This is merely a temporary life, the trials you are facing right now is nothing compared to the hereafter. The reason why it's properly called the "here after" is because we are reall all here for the "here....after'... this life...here and now.

True Happiness is in discovering Tawheed... Gods' ONENESS...

Take it from me.

I have been there... done that...

P.S.

Your first boyfriend will love you more once you come to the point of being in love with God more than him. Believe me... I bear witness to this truth and I am a living witness about it.

May Allah bless you with enlightenment, wisdom and guidance and bring you to the right, straight and correct path.
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believer
08-06-2007, 07:12 AM
Originally Posted by Aisha!
wow confusing lol
Salaamu'alaikum! May the Peace and Blessings and the serenity of mind be unto you from Allah.

Hi Aisha... I am a revert and I used to be a christian with double standards. I used to be in-love for many first times. ("In love for the first time and this time I know its' for real.) I can relate to your story.

According to what I know in Islam... God hates it when we are placing Him only as second to anything or anyone. Islam is a religion of nature and moderation. If you are to become a Muslim just because you love your first boyfriend so much... then you are practicing Shirk. Shirk is the only sin God cannot forgive.

I suggest you re-examine your priority and values. If you don't love your present husband - file a divorce. But don't make your first boyfriend as your excuse...

afterwards, learn and study Islam. I suggest you get yourself a Qur'an with transliterrations of your own language or English. When you read the Qur'an, make sure you have just washed your hands... and you are not menstrating. Ask for guidance and protection to God as your opening prayer and start reading the first Chapter... Surrah Al Fatihah.

afterwards... read on... And try to read, comprehend and finish it from cover to cover to your comfort level... there is no hurry doing this. But if you come to develop the passion for finding the truth... the Happiness and contentment you will discover will be much greater than your first boyfriend.

If you put GOD first! all the things that you ask for shall be added unto you... in this life and in the hereafter. This is merely a temporary life, the trials you are facing right now is nothing compared to the hereafter. The reason why it's properly called the "here-after" is because we are all here now for the "here....after'... this present life.

True Happiness is in discovering Tawheed... Gods' ONENESS...

Take it from me.

I have been there... done that...

P.S.

Your first boyfriend will love you more once you come to the point of being in love with God more than him. Believe me... I bear witness to this truth and I am a living witness about it.

May Allah bless you with enlightenment, wisdom and guidance and bring you to the right, straight and correct path.

I suggest you keep your relationship with your first boyfriend in moderation until you have accomplished the initial steps for your freedom and liberation towards the path of truth, enlightenment and paradise.

May Allah bless us all always!
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