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AhlaamBella
08-06-2007, 06:57 PM
:sl:

Seeing as the marriage forum has magically disappeared, *clears throat* I thought I'd post it here. It's looking like I might be meeting a brother as a potential husband, InshAllah, and I'm at a bit of a loss as to the kind of questions I should ask. I have a general idea but the questions I have lined up are a bit lame....so any ideas?

JazakAllah in advance

:w:
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Ourra-Tul-'Ain
08-06-2007, 07:31 PM
Sallam sister

Ask him how much money he has in the bank,:D what car he drives, where he likes to go on holiday, how often he likes to go on a holyday. Where you will be living, if he wants you to come and live with his family (so you can take care of his mother and cook for all his extended family everyday):muddlehea

Lol, no Wallahi I’m joking:p ………..ask him about his deen, what his values are, what makes him happy, what makes him angry, his ambitions, what his views are on marriage….. And ask ask if he knows the rights of the husband and wife inshallah.

My Allah (swa) make you successful in finding the man of your dreams inshallah khair.
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AhlaamBella
08-06-2007, 07:34 PM
JazakAllah sis. I've been toldhe is a good brother, everyone seems to be singing his praises but I'd like to see for myself lol
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Protected_Diamond
08-06-2007, 07:35 PM
Originally Posted by Ourra-Tul-'Ain
Sallam sister

Ask him how much money he has in the bank,:D
:eek: :D LOL

What he enjoys doing in his spare time (if he has any spare time lol)

Does he get angry a lot?

Is he a control freak? :uuh:

Does he pray 5 times a day?

Is he living 4 the dunya or the akhira?

ask him loads of islamic questions and see if he's your type!!

Good luck sis....im feeling nervous for you lol. :smile:

And sis hope you ready 4 marriage....huge responsibility man...
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AhlaamBella
08-06-2007, 07:37 PM
lol I'm nervous myself. His mother liked me apparantly and asked my friend if I was looking for marriage because she wanted me for her son lol
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Ourra-Tul-'Ain
08-06-2007, 07:37 PM
Originally Posted by DeepOcean
JazakAllah sis. I've been toldhe is a good brother, everyone seems to be singing his praises but I'd like to see for myself lol
yeah i was told the same thing by my teacher...but turned out he did not want his wife to work......so i was like we might klash.:hmm:
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Protected_Diamond
08-06-2007, 07:38 PM
Should move this thread to the sisters section....lol
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AhlaamBella
08-06-2007, 07:40 PM
lol I know but I don't have access there because I havn't been on here for a while
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Protected_Diamond
08-06-2007, 07:42 PM
Originally Posted by DeepOcean
lol I know but I don't have access there because I havn't been on here for a while
Oh right it's cool. No worries...All the best! Hope it works out man and u is a brave girl
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AhlaamBella
08-06-2007, 07:43 PM
lol jazakAllah. I don't feel very brave...
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Medina83
08-06-2007, 07:46 PM
how about things like:

1) Does he go to the mesjid regularly? How important is that for him?

2) What does he see are the rights of the wife?

3) What does he see are the rights of the husband?

4) How important does he feel love is?

5) Does he want a family? How big/small? (compared to yourself)

6) How does he like to spend his time?

7) Does he feel he can teach you anything?

i'd have tons of stuff to ask....
but tbh its the gut feeling you get about the person..whatever it is..my advice is follow it...(and pray istikhara of course!)

inshaAllah you get the best husband for you , your iman and your deen and your heart.
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Protected_Diamond
08-06-2007, 07:46 PM
Originally Posted by DeepOcean
lol jazakAllah. I don't feel very brave...
You know what to do...write down all your questions on a piece of paper and ask him....that way you won't forget anything... :shade:
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AhlaamBella
08-06-2007, 07:48 PM
Yeah Alhamdulilah that would help. Shukran Sis Medina83
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Ourra-Tul-'Ain
08-06-2007, 07:49 PM
Originally Posted by Medina83
how about things like:

1) Does he go to the mesjid regularly? How important is that for him?

2) What does he see are the rights of the wife?

3) What does he see are the rights of the husband?

4) How important does he feel love is?

5) Does he want a family? How big/small? (compared to yourself)

6) How does he like to spend his time?

7) Does he feel he can teach you anything?

i'd have tons of stuff to ask....
but tbh its the gut feeling you get about the person..whatever it is..my advice is follow it...(and pray istikhara of course!)

inshaAllah you get the best husband for you , your iman and your deen and your heart.

mashallah, i like these questions:sunny:
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AhlaamBella
08-06-2007, 07:50 PM
Originally Posted by Ourra-Tul-'Ain
mashallah, i like these questions:sunny:
Yeah, me 2. :D
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ummAbdillah
08-06-2007, 07:55 PM
:salamext:
firstly i agree with the sister that said that this thread should be moved to the sisters section. This is a bit too 'girly' but you might be looking for input form the brothers too... I would ask him how he treats his mother. How often he visits her? weather or not he buys her presents at times? How he speaks to his mother ect. why will i bother ask this... well, if a man does not respect his own mother with the respect she deserves, he does not treat her well and speaks to her in an unpleasant way... will he respect me?... will he take care of my needs... The answers to that are likely to be No. I would ask him about what he would like to do in the future InshaAllah - if he is intending to learn the deen InshaAllah. Money is'nt everything but i would ask him if he has enough money to provide for a family.

But sister dont take an entire cheklist, no one is perfect. If he is someone who is commited to the deen then that may be enough. Allah Alam.
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Medina83
08-06-2007, 07:56 PM
I'd also ask things like

1) How important does he feel it is to follow the Sunnah?

2) What kind of relations does he wish to keep with his family?

3) What does he expect from his wife in relation to his family?

4) Does he pay Zakat?

also i think one of the best things to look for in a man is gentleness..you can't really question him on this..but try to have some life conversations and put some scenarios to him see how he responds....

Rasulullah saw said to Aisha ra 'Be gentle..for gentleness adorns everything in which it is found and its absence leaves everything tainted....

You need to judge if he is gentle and also if he knows how to compromise and also apologise..thats what marriage is all about
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AhlaamBella
08-06-2007, 08:01 PM
:):) Sisters, these are great questions. I wouldn't have been able to think them upon my own. Sister aisha, i see what you mean about it being girly, but yes input from the brothers could be useful as they will hold a different prospective.
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chaste
08-06-2007, 10:33 PM
:sl: this is from experience ask him will he allow u to see your own family. since ur parents had the duty of bringing u up make sure he does not cut of ties with them. i pray for u
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highway_trekker
08-06-2007, 10:38 PM
Originally Posted by Protected_Diamond
Should move this thread to the sisters section....lol
Yeh seems like a better place...
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AhlaamBella
08-07-2007, 10:05 AM
Originally Posted by highway_trekker
Yeh seems like a better place...
As I've said before, I don't have access.
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rozeena
08-07-2007, 10:15 AM
how old r u sis???
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F.Y.
08-07-2007, 10:57 AM
Ladies, I think you can ask every single question to him that has been asked since time began on Earth - but you will still not know the man. Some people have been known to say one thing when they meet you, but change their minds or thinking later on. The questions are very little to go by.
I'm not saying everyone will lie, but sometimes, ...people want to 'market' themselves and give answers others might WANT to hear. So dont go all googy eyed based on answers. Istikhara is the key, after the interview.

Peace
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IbnAbdulHakim
08-07-2007, 11:03 AM
thats brilliant advice F.Y, i think a'mal is most important, if you have a way to find out about that then do so.


but questions are important when it comes to closing in on compatibility...
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Intisar
08-07-2007, 12:00 PM
:w:

Like FY said, people can give you answers that you want to hear and not necessarily what is the truth. I suggest that you just meet him and talk to him like you would a friend and if you find that you could see yourself living with him for the rest of your life, stick with him.

:sl:
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Tania
08-07-2007, 02:31 PM
How does he spend his free time :?
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AhlaamBella
08-07-2007, 03:10 PM
This is great advice sisters (and brother lol). JazakAllah Kheir. I usually find after I've prayed for guidence in any situation, my gut instinct isn't wrong Alhamdulilah
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Tania
08-07-2007, 07:57 PM
If he can take an advice from a woman or he is too "man" to listen them :-[
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S_87
08-07-2007, 10:24 PM
:sl:

i dont know if this has been said but ask him what he expects in a wife/or what kind of wife he is looking for
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Protected_Diamond
08-09-2007, 07:10 PM
Originally Posted by F.Y.
Ladies, I think you can ask every single question to him that has been asked since time began on Earth - but you will still not know the man. Some people have been known to say one thing when they meet you, but change their minds or thinking later on. The questions are very little to go by.
I'm not saying everyone will lie, but sometimes, ...people want to 'market' themselves and give answers others might WANT to hear. So dont go all googy eyed based on answers. Istikhara is the key, after the interview.

Peace
Masha Allah your advice is the best sister. Alhamdulilah i find myself changing my views as time goes by....
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chaste
08-09-2007, 10:35 PM
Originally Posted by F.Y.
I'm not saying everyone will lie, but sometimes, ...people want to 'market' themselves and give answers others might WANT to hear. So dont go all googy eyed based on answers. Istikhara is the key, after the interview.

Peace
that is a really good advice!
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AhlaamBella
08-10-2007, 10:13 AM
MarshAllah, it is.
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Faffy.K
08-10-2007, 01:29 PM
Erm every question i have thought of has already been mentioned lol.. just thought i wud add 1.. ask the brother if he has any medical problems?
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Protected_Diamond
08-14-2007, 05:46 PM
Originally Posted by Faffy.K
Erm every question i have thought of has already been mentioned lol.. just thought i wud add 1.. ask the brother if he has any medical problems?
LOL...yeah lets make it a proper interview :D
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bint_khalid
08-14-2007, 06:01 PM
Originally Posted by DeepOcean
lol I know but I don't have access there because I havn't been on here for a while
sis you been here for over a year and have hundreds of post, surely you can get access?
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AhlaamBella
08-14-2007, 06:38 PM
Originally Posted by bint_khalid
sis you been here for over a year and have hundreds of post, surely you can get access?
I have to wait 30 days, then I reapply. I'm not sure how many days are left though...lol I better check. I think it's about 20
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