Need Some Help Plzz

[rph105]

Ok I am an 19 yr old guy, im not a muslim, but have a muslim friend she's 18, we're really close, i'm actually in love with the girl genuinelym known her for nearly 2 years, spoken to her every day since we met and seen her maybe 3 times a week since we met too.

I do an awful lot for her and i see she has a lot of potential to be a successful young woman, shes just really pessimistic, so i try to give her that boost, her parents aren't the richest of people and i get the idea that they are struggling, they have 3 kids, who wouldnt be, i work freelance so i try to provide her with things to help her in college, laptop so she can do her work, instead of sharing the computer with her brothers on a rota, i feed her, buy her clothes, bring food to the house when shes hungry and theres no food for dinner, i help her staying up all nights doin essays for her and helping her reach her target grades, try to boost her confidence, and help her in life generally.

since the day we met i have always dropped her home, quite recently her dad has seen her with me and forbidden her from seeing me, saying i'm distracting her, and he wants her to concentrate in college, which is wht shes doing already, if anything i give her extra help, and guidance.

hes seen me today for the third time and has told her its either me or him, shes in total shock and is confused and upset, shes ready to cut it off for a lil while, i dont see what that will do, what do you think i should do?

[tryinghard]

First of all, I'd like to say that I am amazed at your generosity. Not many people would be willing to go out of their way that much to help someone. That being said, I hope you understand where her dad is coming from. In Islam, the close interaction between a male and a female is not allowed unless you intend to marry her. Perhaps you could help her from afar, helping her edit her papers when she needs help, or perhaps you could have a female go-between, a sister or a friend who could help her.

At the same time, I would like to remind you that while its good that you're being supportive, you should remember that you can't change someone. It's hard to make someone who's pessimistic optimistic. Is she suffering from depression? Is there something going on in her life that is making her feel this way? She should consult someone. Perhaps it is a psychological/medical issue.

[glo]

What does your friend want to do?
You say she is ready to call your relationship off. Is that her own wish, or is she making that choice out of fear of losing her family?
Would she be prepared to forsake her family for you?
Is you friendship/love/commitment to each other strong enough for this?

Perhaps you need to understand more about Islam to realise that this situation would be a big deal for most Muslim families!
Firstly, according to Islam you two are not supposed to be seeing each other at all - no matter how harmless your intentions.
Secondly, even if your intentions were to marry this woman, as a non-Muslim you would not be permitted.

My advice is that unless you are both completely sure that your relationship is worth her burning all her bridges, forsaking Islam and her family, you comply with your friend's decision to cool it off.

I know this may hurt, but if you really love her, that may be the best thing to do.

I hope you both find the best way through this situation. :)

Peace to you both.

[Kittygyal]

Greetings.
Im really proud of you. May god help you in every way.

i cn't typ much but i would pray for her n u god wills :)