How Did U Do It?????????!!!!!!!!!

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl: brothers and sisters. i loved someone and i was very close to them we could talk about anything and everything but then we drifted apart because of some things some family members said to him.
i love him a lot and i dont want to lose him. i know he loves someone else, but i cant get over the fact that he loves someone else, i love him so much, i wanna be with him 4ever and ever.
how did u get over ur, urm, person that u loved and are not with anymore?
please help me :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

[islamirama]

wa'alaikum as'salaam

Getting over someone is not as easy as tossing an old shoe out the door. The longer you are attached to them the harder it is to let go. It's kind of like being attached to the duniya and it's glamour. No one really wants to give it up. Here's my two cents inshallah.

To love someone means to get to know them upclose and personal, which means to break all or most islamic rules and norms to do the haraam (being with a non-mahram) to let it go that far.

Not sure what your family said to him but if it was to protect you then they did the right thing; what they said or how they said it might be another matter.

If he was sincere about you then he could've tried to work things out and do it the right way by talking to your parents and revealing his intentions rather then run off to another girl.

lastly, the time it will take to forget him depends on you. how much are you willing to let go and how attached are you. You have to remember he and everything else in this duniya is temporary. We can't displease Allah to please our nafs and if we are patient and do what is right then inshallah we will be blessed with something better.

My advice is to inshallah try to devout yourself to Islam more, read more, increase knowledge more, sit with righteous sisters more, and do dhikr more. Ponder over your past and see how islamic vs unislamic it was and what are your strengths and weaknesses and use your strengths and work on your weaknesses to make yourself a better person and a better servant. Our aim is to please Allah, when we start working towards that then other duniya matters seem trivial.

oh and yea, make dua for yourself :)

[Md Mashud]

Theres only 1 healer and that is time itself I believe. The best thing you can do is make use of the time, doing activities and socialising with other people - rather then making yourself isolated in rooms and so fourth - as being idle you will think about it more and it will affect you further.

Hope that helps.

[Kittygyal]

:sl: brothers and sisters. i loved someone and i was very close to them we could talk about anything and everything but then we drifted apart because of some things some family members said to him.
i love him a lot and i dont want to lose him. i know he loves someone else, but i cant get over the fact that he loves someone else, i love him so much, i wanna be with him 4ever and ever.
how did u get over ur, urm, person that u loved and are not with anymore?
please help me :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

:sl:

well it aint easy to get over one who you love alot just keep on crying i guess, best thing to do is dua'ah.

Sowiee i can't gave much advice on this subject :playing:

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[Makky]

My sister
Assalam alaykum
insha Allah things will be better .
I guess its your fualt from the begining that you didn't follow the islamic rules that control the male/female relationship in islam...You have seen him and talk to him alot etc right?
if you didn't then you wont be hurted so much as you are now.
the recovery will be a little bit hard but its possible.

to come over it you should :

1-repent and regret those haram deeds that you did...talking to him for no reason just talking , looking at him etc...

2- rise the love of Allah to be on the top of your heart

3- try to find a husband because love removes love or at least help you to forget.

4- as much as you can avoid anything reminding you with your old love.

5- keep praying for him and his beloved.

6-when remembering him ..remind yourself that he was one day a reason of some of your sins.

7- the most important thing : seek help and guidance from Allah you wont have power to over come it unless he gave you ..and remember ( la hawla wa la quwata illa billah )...read my signature

Assalam alaykum

[The Ruler]

how did u get over ur, urm, person that u loved and are not with anymore?

If you want me to reply to that seriously, then do believe in the following for none of it is made up [or so I seem to think]:

When the one I sorta loved/liked [? Whatever] sort of drifted apart, I told myself, "Geee, what a pain and I'm drooling over them. Sheeesh Tag, get over it!". I imagined them being the most horrible person ever, with the most horrible look [zit-filled face, flaring big-nostrilled person and whatnot].

And to be honest, I actually got over it pretty soon. Only a few days did I drop a few unworthy tears. Picked them up pretty soon, mind you.

:w:

[jzcasejz]

As-Salaamu'alaykum

As Brother Mashud rightfully pointed out...just give it time. There's no easy way out of this other than to let time take it's course. You'll be feeling better soon, InshaAllaah.

And as others have also pointed, occupy yourself with the Deen i.e. reading, remembrance, Dua etc...

[sapphire]

i think everyone said most of the things that would be said regarding such a topic.....its different for each and every person and some of the things mentioned to you, you may not want to hear but at this time you may feel like your whole worlds collapsed and nothing is possible but really as time goes by you may start to realize that the person wasn't right for you and you may even find someone else who is better for you than that person....at the end of the day Allah has his wisdom behind everything and who knows what the future holds...it may be a test for your patience and who knows if things go the way you want them........trust in Allah and try perfecting your deen more Insha'Allah.....

and know one thing....you're never alone sis!

Insha'Allah everything turns out great for you! i'll keep u in my prayers :)

[lipstick]

wa'alaikum as'salaam

Getting over someone is not as easy as tossing an old shoe out the door. The longer you are attached to them the harder it is to let go. It's kind of like being attached to the duniya and it's glamour. No one really wants to give it up. Here's my two cents inshallah.

To love someone means to get to know them upclose and personal, which means to break all or most islamic rules and norms to do the haraam (being with a non-mahram) to let it go that far.

Not sure what your family said to him but if it was to protect you then they did the right thing; what they said or how they said it might be another matter.

If he was sincere about you then he could've tried to work things out and do it the right way by talking to your parents and revealing his intentions rather then run off to another girl.

lastly, the time it will take to forget him depends on you. how much are you willing to let go and how attached are you. You have to remember he and everything else in this duniya is temporary. We can't displease Allah to please our nafs and if we are patient and do what is right then inshallah we will be blessed with something better.

My advice is to inshallah try to devout yourself to Islam more, read more, increase knowledge more, sit with righteous sisters more, and do dhikr more. Ponder over your past and see how islamic vs unislamic it was and what are your strengths and weaknesses and use your strengths and work on your weaknesses to make yourself a better person and a better servant. Our aim is to please Allah, when we start working towards that then other duniya matters seem trivial.

oh and yea, make dua for yourself :)

Sorry about this but is this brother arfan?

[Al-Zaara]

Selam aleykum,

I'm very sorry to hear about it sis. Most of us have gone through similiar things, been in love but they didn't love back or actually been the one who loved someone else or didn't love at all the other person. I've been through most of that all. I can tell you, if it matters, Time will tell. You must not let yourself fall into despair. With time you will get over it.

If you really love him, then a part of you will be happy for him. Because... He has found someone he wants to share his life with, he has found someone to make him happy. And isn't that what every lover wants? His partner to be happy? I believe so. The fact he doesn't love you is a heart-breaking factor, but it won't kill you. I know it won't. It's we ourselves that make things a bit harder than what it actually is. Grieving a time is good, you need to get out the sorrow... But at one point you must realize: It's enough.

Give it time, and you will see inshaAllah. Talk with someone about this... More advice I can't give, all is said I guess.

You're in my duas sis.

[Isambard]

:sl: brothers and sisters. i loved someone and i was very close to them we could talk about anything and everything but then we drifted apart because of some things some family members said to him.
i love him a lot and i dont want to lose him. i know he loves someone else, but i cant get over the fact that he loves someone else, i love him so much, i wanna be with him 4ever and ever.
how did u get over ur, urm, person that u loved and are not with anymore?
please help me :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Boxing

No really. Your problems melt away (even if for brief moments at first) when you are in one-on-one combat, not to mention if you get punched in the face. :D

[AnonymousPoster]

Selam aleykum,

Because... He has found someone he wants to share his life with, he has found someone to make him happy. And isn't that what every lover wants? His partner to be happy? I believe so.

:sl: i believe that as well but if he is doing it the wrong way like kissing the girl and stuff and he is muslim i do not know what religion the girl is i do not even know who the girl is. all i know is i want him to happy the right way and i do not want him to fall into sin. shall i talk to his parents or what shall i do. i am confused brothers and sisters

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl: i forgot to add one thing he does not and never knew i loved him. but it has been three years now i have not said anything. i am a human as well :cry:

[guyabano]

Sure is:

1. When you never show him, you have feelings for him, so how can he know?
2. In love are only 2 ways to find out: He says YES or he say NO. So tell him straight away.

But if he really has no feelings for you, like you mentionned before, well, in that case, start a new chapter, and turn toward other men. There are plenty on this earth.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah

dunno wat i can say apart from rememba yusuf n zulekha... zulekha loved him wiv all her heart and wanted to be with him but cudnt so as time passed she fell in love with Allah! Then yusuf alaihissalaam came and proposed to her but she said that shes no longer in love with him because shes learnt to love Allah ! thats the true love sis.. gess what she did end up marrying yusuf Alaihissalaam, rahmah :), trust me its all about fixing up priorities...

[Malaikah]

assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah

dunno wat i can say apart from rememba yusuf n zulekha... zulekha loved him wiv all her heart and wanted to be with him but cudnt so as time passed she fell in love with Allah! Then yusuf alaihissalaam came and proposed to her but she said that shes no longer in love with him because shes learnt to love Allah ! thats the true love sis.. gess what she did end up marrying yusuf Alaihissalaam, rahmah :), trust me its all about fixing up priorities...

:sl:

Wow, I didn't know this! :uuh: Do you have a source akhi?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:sl:

Wow, I didn't know this! :uuh: Do you have a source akhi?

it was a lecture :hiding: from long time ago :hiding: if you find the source let me know :hiding:

[Re.TiReD]

how did u get over ur, urm, person that u loved and are not with anymore?
please help me :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

:salamext: you forget them by praying and supplicating to Allah and remembering that only that will happen which Allah wills. Wallahu A'lam

[InToTheRain]

how did u get over ur, urm, person that u loved and are not with anymore?
please help me :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

May sound harsh, but how do you get over some one you love that has passed away? you give it time and try your best to move on, just pretend he is dead to you...

:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

May sound harsh, but how do you get over some one you love that has passed away? you give it time and try your best to move on, just pretend he is dead to you...

:w:

:sl: hard to do when he is in your face 24/7

[sapphire]

''you never lose by loving you always lose by holding back.out of all the forms of caution,caution in love is the most fatal to true human happiness''

don't know if that is of any help^ i dont want to give an opinion on what to do now because i don't want it to be the wrong one making you lose out or suffer...as they say love is blind...now all you may see in him is goodness...later on if things didn't work out you may reaslise the reason behind it not working out and it may be Allah (s.w.t) wants to give you someone better than him....:)

Insha'Allah you find your happiness :thumbs_up

[kwolney01]

Allah has someone for you. Just keep believing that. He must have not be the right one. It will take some time but you will get over him and the right man will come into you life. Best wishes.

[Mpls_Muslim]

Salam sister, I have found that there is a saying simple and honest.

"If you love someone enough, let them go if they return then it was meant to be if not then they were not meant to be".

I hope this helps for I have just gone through a situation similar to you and I am waiting for the phone to ring as well. Ishallah

Abdualh

[Ebtisweetsam]

:sl: i forgot to add one thing he does not and never knew i loved him. but it has been three years now i have not said anything. i am a human as well :cry:

:sl: Sister if you say he didnt know you loved him...... sorry to say it but it sounds like you had a crush on him, this is not love. Love is something you share together- not on one side. Love is something you have when you go through the good, the bad and the ugly together.

Enshallah when you meet the right person, you will realise that this guy was not worth your precious time.

My advice is dont tell his parents anything.... i dont think its in your best interest to get involved with his personal love life.

Allahu' a'lam:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ subhanAllah i didnt even think of it that way

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl: its not a crush its love i know it is. there can b 1 sided love.

[H4RUN]

:sl:


All the ingredients for unrequited love, carry on, and it's gonna get to you big time one day, it'll drive u craaaazy...

I gather it's not easy to let go, or even forget...as u say '24/7' in your face...

I think [note..bad things happen when i think]..you should take a good long look at life on the whole...will this be for the best? Will you be able to live with yourself if the answer was 'no' from the fella?

He might be what you want now, but is he who you want to spend the rest of your ENTIRE life with?
Do you honestly believe in your mind that this would defo be the right decision to wed him, if he agrees? If so, boom! Get the sweets ready, expect to be knocking at his door waving a question about:)...

If no, bide your time, i know it can be hard as you've waited so long thus far..But you want to be certain, this aint no play ground, where u make the decision whether or not you got fouled playing footie or not...hmm bad example...

As you can quite rightly gather, i aint giving decent enough advice, but....if all else doesnt make sense, you can get help, top of the range help! And there's a small matter of money though...IT'S FREEE!...Turn to your Lord:D

Pray Istikhara!:D
Take care
May Allah swt help you in this situation, ameen
:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
i am sorry to hear this. i think you are bein tested by Allah and you have to remain patient. i kindof understand what u are goin through..its hard. . TIME IS THE BEST HEALER and if u are destined to be with him it will happen and if your not ..your not.. everyone told me that..i fink i am accepting that now.. accepting felt like failing /losing but slowly u start realising.. if allah wills you may be with him if not than allah knows best.i personally emotionally hurt myself too much over someone who has moved on and possibly is alot happier.. Remember Allah, i advise this to myself first as i need a better relationship with my lord..
i hope inshallah good things work out for yourself and us all inshallah tala. wouldnt it be beautiful if we were closer to Allah tala, and eventually we would one day get the people we want inshallah.

Love..? to be honest i dont know how you define it anymore especially in the soceity we live in today. but i know that True love is a blessing and from allah tala. i hope allah makes it easy for u inshallah.:D

:w:

[sparkling-water]

:sl: brothers and sisters. i loved someone and i was very close to them we could talk about anything and everything but then we drifted apart because of some things some family members said to him.
i love him a lot and i dont want to lose him. i know he loves someone else, but i cant get over the fact that he loves someone else, i love him so much, i wanna be with him 4ever and ever.
how did u get over ur, urm, person that u loved and are not with anymore?
please help me :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

:sl: sister,
just giv it time sister sometimes in life we lose something/someone and we gain something/someone,
the best thing to do is make sincere du'aa to Allah, part of life is to go through struggles and trust me just give it time you will eventually move on and come out as a stronger person.

hope this helps :-\

:w:
take care x