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SirDemonic
08-28-2007, 10:23 PM
Is engagement allowed in islam? i don't know if engagement is allowed in islam, as far am concerned i heard it is allowed if both side of the parents allow it and that the person that are engaged are allowed to talk on phone or chat togther if parents allow it? is that true?

and is engagement allowed in islam?
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Intisar
08-28-2007, 10:37 PM
:sl:

Here are couple of links on the concept engagement(s) in Islam.

http://islamqa.com/index.php?ref=137...txt=engagement
http://islamqa.com/index.php?ref=222...txt=engagement
http://islamqa.com/index.php?ref=200...txt=engagement

:w:
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SirDemonic
08-29-2007, 11:05 AM
Thanks Ameena, Thats been usefull :D

do i need a docter degree to propose? or be a lawyer? modern soceity for you
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SirDemonic
08-29-2007, 09:25 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnRuwahah
lol...Tell me about it :D but I guess being something professional and having a decent income is necessary. Having a good profession will show that you're capable of handling marriage financially. I guess there's a lot more to it that that, although there are some who think that's the only thing that matters :uhwhat
Thats the thing bro, all they want is a "degree"
I don't have degree i know something in my future the will stab me in the back imsad like not having a degree, Theirs decent job out their in the world...

people work in restaurant? is that decent enough?
People Clean toilet is that decent?

i heard a story from a book i think... u wana hear it?

i know i don't have a degree and appearance but i know that would halt my steps in marriage....

If you bring Islam to their daughters parents such as... "your daughter has the choice to get married to who she want" they kick u out the house before u know it ur at home LOLLLL
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Kittygyal
08-29-2007, 09:27 PM
Go to yo local Careers Advicer.
Yo don't need to have a degree :confused:
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Medina83
08-29-2007, 09:38 PM
People should remember that it was only Allah subhana wa ta'alas Mercy and blessing which allowed them / their children to attend university.

And if Allah swt did not will it for some people , who can complain about the will of Allah?

Education is a luxury not everyone can afford. And what Allah does not provide in some ways, He provides in others....

The 'Doctor/Engineer' could easily have very little deen/iman.

People who do not have degrees and who get rejected by families because of this should thank Allah because where is islamic value in that? Its blessing in disguise I say...would you want that kind of family as in-laws?


Humbleness is loved by Allah subhana wa ta'ala.

And intelligence is not measurable in academia, and a hard worker is of greater value in my opinion.
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Maidah
08-30-2007, 12:23 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by SirDemonic
Thats the thing bro, all they want is a "degree"
I don't have degree i know something in my future the will stab me in the back imsad like not having a degree, Theirs decent job out their in the world...

people work in restaurant? is that decent enough?
People Clean toilet is that decent?

i heard a story from a book i think... u wana hear it?

i know i don't have a degree and appearance but i know that would halt my steps in marriage....

If you bring Islam to their daughters parents such as... "your daughter has the choice to get married to who she want" they kick u out the house before u know it ur at home LOLLLL



I don't think you should get dishearted by something like this, even though i know it's easier said then having to go through it, but degree is merely a stamp on a paper to prove what you have done. But if you cannot use the degree for the right thing then there is no use of it. I know people that do medecine but still don't get to work as doctors, they end up starting a business, and there are bare ppl doin law that don't get pass the solicitor stage. And on top of that the key to success is hard work and determination, and this can and must be achieved in all fields. Nothing comes easy and even the lowest paid worker needs to earn his money, which can only be done by the work he does.

I am sure everyone has the ability to work hard, some just have to do it more than others depending on the stage of work you start from. If you are satisfied even in the little you have it will be enough for you and if not then no matter how much you have you'll still want more. Be strong in yourself and work hard in the time and oppertunity Allah has given you, and have faith that there is a soulmate for u.

and remember no degree will ensure a successful marriage, but not having one will not always get you away with stuff. Parents have their own worries, but after the marriage any girl you get married to is going to be ur responsibilty totaly, so you have to be fair and think and plan before taking up the responsibility of what you are going to do. At the end of the day what matters is your emaan and ur sincerety to the marraige, and whoever fails to see that is in loss, not you!

i pray to Allah to make things easy 4 u and help u to find a good partner. Salam
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Intisar
08-30-2007, 01:27 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by SirDemonic
Thats the thing bro, all they want is a "degree"
I don't have degree i know something in my future the will stab me in the back imsad like not having a degree, Theirs decent job out their in the world...

people work in restaurant? is that decent enough?
People Clean toilet is that decent?

i heard a story from a book i think... u wana hear it?

i know i don't have a degree and appearance but i know that would halt my steps in marriage....

If you bring Islam to their daughters parents such as... "your daughter has the choice to get married to who she want" they kick u out the house before u know it ur at home LOLLLL
:sl: That is true akhee, but only because the husband is supposed to the man of the house and the breadwinner. I mean, I would prefer someone with a degree to marry but if you make a sufficient amount of money to sustain the household then it's really no different than having a degree. It's all about the prestige yaa akhee. It sounds better to be married to a brother who has a Masters in Biochemistry than a brother whose a mechanic as harsh as it sounds. Insha'allah you will find a suitable partner that will marry you no matter what your career is. These days work hours are getting longer and both parents are working. Where's the time for the kids? Now women are throwing their kids into daycares and who knows what goes on in there.:muddlehea It's just getting crazier and crazier wallahi. Anyway, you shouldn't let that bring you down at all bro, insha'allah you will find a suitable wife. Allah has something planned for you, for he is indeed the best of all planners. Subhanallah. :)
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Salaam
08-30-2007, 11:34 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena*
I mean, I would prefer someone with a degree to marry but if you make a sufficient amount of money to sustain the household then it's really no different than having a degree.
may i ask what you would consider to be sufficient amount of money for a man to earn to be able to sustain the household?
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jzcasejz
08-30-2007, 11:36 AM
As-Salaamu'alaykum

format_quote Originally Posted by Maidah
I know people that do medecine but still don't get to work as doctors, they end up starting a business...
Whoa, that's quite surprising to hear...
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SirDemonic
08-30-2007, 12:14 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena*
:sl: That is true akhee, but only because the husband is supposed to the man of the house and the breadwinner. I mean, I would prefer someone with a degree to marry but if you make a sufficient amount of money to sustain the household then it's really no different than having a degree. It's all about the prestige yaa akhee. It sounds better to be married to a brother who has a Masters in Biochemistry than a brother whose a mechanic as harsh as it sounds. Insha'allah you will find a suitable partner that will marry you no matter what your career is. These days work hours are getting longer and both parents are working. Where's the time for the kids? Now women are throwing their kids into daycares and who knows what goes on in there.:muddlehea It's just getting crazier and crazier wallahi. Anyway, you shouldn't let that bring you down at all bro, insha'allah you will find a suitable wife. Allah has something planned for you, for he is indeed the best of all planners. Subhanallah. :)
what difference does it make if someone has a degree and someone doesnt? a person with a degree could get the money but does he have a faith or pray?
He could be the best docter or engineer but does he pray? It's just about money this day.. money to sustain the household, money makes the world go round, and money makes family and wifes happy and everyone! Days get longer, hours get longer yet people is other country give their sweat away for use to wear clothes is that decent?

Society has changed and Islam goes with it :raging:
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SirDemonic
08-30-2007, 12:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Salaam
may i ask what you would consider to be sufficient amount of money for a man to earn to be able to sustain the household?
30k and above maybe more :smile: LOLLL :zip:
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SirDemonic
08-30-2007, 12:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnRuwahah
lol, you seem worried :X but don't worry! People who are taxi drivers can also get good wives :D hint hint ;)

May I ask your age? Or would that be too personal :?
Am only 20 and please don't say Enjoy life your still young thats the problem am most unlikely to commit sin if i where to be married, I can enjoy life when am still married :statisfie take tour around the world in 80days LOL
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Salaam
08-30-2007, 12:18 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by SirDemonic
30k and above maybe more :smile: LOLLL :zip:
thats way above average in the UK, i would say around £22K
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SirDemonic
08-30-2007, 12:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Salaam
thats way above average in the UK, i would say around £22K
yeah but that still does not fill the stomach of some woman and families
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Tania
08-30-2007, 01:41 PM
You can continue your studies if you wish to do that. But the degree doesn't ensure you a big wage compulsory.
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SirDemonic
08-30-2007, 09:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Tania
You can continue your studies if you wish to do that. But the degree doesn't ensure you a big wage compulsory.
True but it does find you a wife and the daughters families to say yes
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Intisar
08-30-2007, 09:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Salaam
may i ask what you would consider to be sufficient amount of money for a man to earn to be able to sustain the household?
:sl: There isn't a specific amount to be honest, what I meant by my statement was that the man (or husband) is supposed to be able to maintain the household. If he is not able to do so, then he shouldn't get married correct? As long as you have a stable job and make enough money, then you should get married but if not then you should try and get an education in order to get that. To be honest, I don't know what is ''enough money'' to sustain a household but surely that is one of the criteria to get married.
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SirDemonic
08-30-2007, 09:49 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena*
:sl: There isn't a specific amount to be honest, what I meant by my statement was that the man (or husband) is supposed to be able to maintain the household. If he is not able to do so, then he shouldn't get married correct? As long as you have a stable job and make enough money, then you should get married but if not then you should try and get an education in order to get that. To be honest, I don't know what is ''enough money'' to sustain a household but surely that is one of the criteria to get married.
Like i say money makes the world go round...
It's one thing that every family looks at before they get their daughter married off...

You say I have a decent job I am lawayer (20k above), they say YES
You say I have decent job I am a cleaner (15-18k), they say NO

You say I have a degree in Chemistry, They say YES
you say I went to fulltime work education took alot out of me, They say No

:confused: it's so.....:grumbling
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ahsan28
08-30-2007, 09:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena*
:sl: To be honest, I don't know what is ''enough money'' to sustain a household but surely that is one of the criteria to get married.
The husband should be able to earn livelihood for the family and that is known as "enough money".
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Intisar
08-30-2007, 09:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ahsan28
The husband should be able to earn livelihood for the family and that is known as "enough money".
:sl: Well that's given ukhtee, but I meant there I can't give a specific amount. :)

format_quote Originally Posted by SirDemonic
Like i say money makes the world go round...
It's one thing that every family looks at before they get their daughter married off...

You say I have a decent job I am lawayer (20k above), they say YES
You say I have decent job I am a cleaner (15-18k), they say NO

You say I have a degree in Chemistry, They say YES
you say I went to fulltime work education took alot out of me, They say No

:confused: it's so.....:grumbling
:sl: Akhee it has a lot to do with prestige like I said before. It sounds better to be married to a lawyer than a plumber.
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ahsan28
08-30-2007, 10:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena*
:sl: ukhtee
?????? Do u mean dowry?
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SirDemonic
08-30-2007, 10:04 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena*
:sl: Well that's given ukhtee, but I meant there I can't give a specific amount. :)



:sl: Akhee it has a lot to do with prestige like I said before. It sounds better to be married to a lawyer than a plumber.
So its about a sounding better? when your tap water goes bust the plumber comes, when your in court your lawyer comes so whats the difference?

Their both Honest jobs, It's Lotto money or Drug money is it now...

It's all about sounding is it not...

Sis: Heard you got married Sis (afa)?
Sis (afa):Yeah to a LAWYER!!
Sis: Wow!!

Remix time....

Sis: Heard you got married sis (afa)?
Sis (afa): yeah to a PLUMBER!!
Sis: ooooh!!

:D is that how it goes in reality
Reply

Intisar
08-30-2007, 10:25 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by SirDemonic
So its about a sounding better? when your tap water goes bust the plumber comes, when your in court your lawyer comes so whats the difference?

Their both Honest jobs, It's Lotto money or Drug money is it now...

It's all about sounding is it not...

Sis: Heard you got married Sis (afa)?
Sis (afa):Yeah to a LAWYER!!
Sis: Wow!!

Remix time....

Sis: Heard you got married sis (afa)?
Sis (afa): yeah to a PLUMBER!!
Sis: ooooh!!

:D is that how it goes in reality
Looooooooool @ remix time. To be honest, it's not my personal opinion because I could care less what my husband works as, as long as he can take of the family. But some people are very superficial and they want to impress others, it's not really how they feel. Down let it bring you down though, you should do something you will love doing for the rest of your life and that you'll be satisfied and proud of. I get enough pressure from my family as it is to become a ''doctor'' but personally, I can't see myself working in that field. :hmm: :) It's somewhat of the same predicament, but you should always remember that you're doing something YOU'RE happy with because you're the one whose going to be getting up every morning to do that job that you went to for years of schooling just to end up working as.

Ahsan, If you're asking what Ukhtee means it means my sister. :sunny:
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ahsan28
08-30-2007, 10:30 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena*

Ahsan, If you're asking what Ukhtee means it means my sister. :sunny:
Sis, im not a female, its my duty to say u ukhtee :D
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SirDemonic
08-30-2007, 10:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena*
Looooooooool @ remix time. To be honest, it's not my personal opinion because I could care less what my husband works as, as long as he can take of the family. But some people are very superficial and they want to impress others, it's not really how they feel. Down let it bring you down though, you should do something you will love doing for the rest of your life and that you'll be satisfied and proud of. I get enough pressure from my family as it is to become a ''doctor'' but personally, I can't see myself working in that field. :hmm: :) It's somewhat of the same predicament, but you should always remember that you're doing something YOU'RE happy with because you're the one whose going to be getting up every morning to do that job that you went to for years of schooling just to end up working as.

Ahsan, If you're asking what Ukhtee means it means my sister. :sunny:
Thats what am trying to say, you took the words out my mouth lol but to be honest why i should care anymore it's no point neither can i change it or make a difference
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Intisar
08-30-2007, 10:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ahsan28
Sis, im not a female, its my duty to say u ukhtee :D
:-[ :statisfie Looooooooooooool I was under the impression that you were a female. I thought 'Ahsan' was a female name. Sorry. =|

Sir Demonic, where is this coming from anyway? Are you trying to approach a girl's family but you just don't think her family accept you? :rollseyes
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SirDemonic
08-30-2007, 11:24 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena*
:-[ :statisfie Looooooooooooool I was under the impression that you were a female. I thought 'Ahsan' was a female name. Sorry. =|

Sir Demonic, where is this coming from anyway? Are you trying to approach a girl's family but you just don't think her family accept you? :rollseyes
No nothing like that it's just a thought i know it would happen cause i dont have a degree :)
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Tania
08-31-2007, 06:15 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by SirDemonic
Remix time....

Sis: Heard you got married sis (afa)?
Sis (afa): yeah to a PLUMBER!!
Sis: ooooh!!
Because you are still going on, its a saying in my country, which apply more or less in this days: don't mix water with oil.
What means that:? In our society, educational speeking not everyone has a college degree. So that, in marriage:
*a high school degree man can marry with an high school degree woman
*a college degree man can marry with a college degree woman
*a man without school can marry with a woman without school
Why was that :? Because at certain education you have a way of speaking and thinking and it less probable someone without education will understand you and will can share your favourite hobbies or books or so on. Are gaps and the old people respected the saying for the sake of their children. We had less divorce than today.

The same saying can be apply to the money topic:
* a rich man with a rich woman
*a middle class man with a middle class woman
*a poor man with a poor woman
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ahsan28
08-31-2007, 06:23 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by SirDemonic
i know it would happen cause i dont have a degree :)
Try to get one in psychology, the easiest subject to handle with and happens to be the fav most amongst women. You will see never-ending proposals awaiting response from you. A sincere suggestion :D
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SirDemonic
08-31-2007, 12:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Tania
Because you are still going on, its a saying in my country, which apply more or less in this days: don't mix water with oil.
What means that:? In our society, educational speeking not everyone has a college degree. So that, in marriage:
*a high school degree man can marry with an high school degree woman
*a college degree man can marry with a college degree woman
*a man without school can marry with a woman without school
Why was that :? Because at certain education you have a way of speaking and thinking and it less probable someone without education will understand you and will can share your favourite hobbies or books or so on. Are gaps and the old people respected the saying for the sake of their children. We had less divorce than today.

The same saying can be apply to the money topic:
* a rich man with a rich woman
*a middle class man with a middle class woman
*a poor man with a poor woman
In my country their is a famous saying "Don't dip your biscuit in your tea" depending of which biscuit you hold 1 breaks and 1 doesn't so from where am standing your telling me never mix society then thats just crazy to be honest arich man learns from a poor man a poor man leans from a rich man...

Rich man marries a Rich woman? thats modern society your talking about
greed and money takes over.....
From what i heard from friends and family is this story..

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) once told a man who can't find himself wife because he was poor and not the best looking, Prophet told him to go to a family who's daughter exceed her beauty, so the man went and knocked at the familes house... her parents open the door.. and he goes "The prophet told me ask for your permission to marry your a duaghter, They looked at him and started to worry because he was not g00d looking nor did he have a job so they said No but the daughter heard what the man said then she came running downstairs goes to her parents are you going against our prophet because money and looks? if the prophet says yes then i wish to marry him...
Guess what happens? if find himself a job... not the best and.... the lived happily ever after...

so is the story above me a lie?
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SirDemonic
08-31-2007, 12:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ahsan28
Try to get one in psychology, the easiest subject to handle with and happens to be the fav most amongst women. You will see never-ending proposals awaiting response from you. A sincere suggestion :D
Lol am going in to media such making video and music :D mainly videos
Thanks for the advice i might do that part time :okay:
Reply

sarah85
08-31-2007, 12:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ahsan28
Try to get one in psychology, the easiest subject to handle with and happens to be the fav most amongst women. You will see never-ending proposals awaiting response from you. A sincere suggestion :D
I think its a favourite for women to do a psychology course themselves but whether they want their prospective husband to do it...well thats another matter:p
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paradise88
08-31-2007, 02:11 PM
I think culture gets in the way of religion in some families. They forget about religion but use it in other cases. Why is it they will bring religion into other things but not marriage/engagement. Aslong as you marry a good muslim then i see no problem..hmmm
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SirDemonic
08-31-2007, 02:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by paradise786
I think culture gets in the way of religion in some families. They forget about religion but use it in other cases. Why is it they will bring religion into other things but not marriage/engagement. Aslong as you marry a good muslim then i see no problem..hmmm
Thats it culture and Islam don't mix
Islam should always come 1st but they don't use it, They use tradition or family pride so on so on.....

Thats what matters to people these days pride, honor, Family honor and reputation, Islam is a excuse these days :? but why? if you bring Islam in to culture they kill you for it but if you bring Culture in to Islam it's okay....
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Tania
08-31-2007, 02:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by SirDemonic
never mix society then thats just crazy to be honest arich man learns from a poor man a poor man leans from a rich man...

so is the story above me a lie?
I told you a saying from the past centuries :-[ A marquis married only from his rich world, he would never married with a peasant woman. We had several social categories and very rare you could find marriage crossing the boundaries. Today the society is changing, i can't tell you if the saying is still up. Also, the communism deleted the social categories, the rich became poor so the money issue was gone for a long time. In this days we have rich again and i know from media a man which took a girl for her look.
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SirDemonic
08-31-2007, 02:51 PM
So does the girl have the right to say who she marries?
In Islam does it say you have to marry to make your parents happy not yourself?
A good parent would love to see their child happy and marry a good Muslim with good Islamic knowledge right? Am not being big headed but i know about Islam then a average Muslim I may not have a degree but i did do Islamic studies :D
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