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princessz
08-31-2007, 03:43 PM
Assalaamu alaikum
I heard that a guy and girl can nikah and live apart until they can afford to live together. So as to avoid an unlawful and haram relationship. Is that true?
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AhlaamBella
08-31-2007, 05:06 PM
yes it is true sis. i shall begin my quest to find the evidence.....
(lol sorry i'm a bit hyper :p)
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IbnAbdulHakim
08-31-2007, 05:28 PM
i dnt see why not :O
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chaste
08-31-2007, 10:39 PM
i thought nikah means being 'married'? so is it unlawful to do what a married couple does? i'm confused?^o)
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chacha_jalebi
08-31-2007, 10:45 PM
salaam

bye :p

erm nikaah is the islamic way of gettin married and accordin 2 law of Allah (swt) so once the nikkah has happened, the man and woman are husband and wife, so once the nikaah is done then your married islamically!!

so living together is kool :D
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princessz
09-01-2007, 12:37 AM
Originally Posted by chaste
i thought nikah means being 'married'? so is it unlawful to do what a married couple does? i'm confused?^o)
:sl:

Well it is unlawful to have a 'relationship' in islam, but seeing that a guy and girl met, and can't afford to live together as yet, is it ok to nikah and live apart, so as to make the relations lawful, until they can further afford to live together.
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limitless
09-01-2007, 03:28 PM
Originally Posted by princessz
:sl:

Well it is unlawful to have a 'relationship' in islam, but seeing that a guy and girl met, and can't afford to live together as yet, is it ok to nikah and live apart, so as to make the relations lawful, until they can further afford to live together.
:sl:

As far as I know, your suppose to live together after you had your nikah.You can choose to live apart for financial reasons, but I would recommend both their parent's or the male's parent's help him out financially. I will response with evidence to it. The above is just what I can recall.

:w:
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princessz
09-02-2007, 12:05 AM
:sl:
Some evidence would be nice, yes...
Jazak Allah
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islamirama
09-02-2007, 01:58 AM
Originally Posted by princessz
:sl:

Well it is unlawful to have a 'relationship' in islam, but seeing that a guy and girl met, and can't afford to live together as yet, is it ok to nikah and live apart, so as to make the relations lawful, until they can further afford to live together.
:w:

Do you know what is the differnce between arab engagements and asian engagements?

Asian ones are the same as the kuffar ones. You propose, slap on a ring and you are engaged. You can spend some time to better get to know each other, but you are still non-mahrams and still have to adhere to all islamic rulings.

Arab engagements are the nikkah without the see off. Basically you do the nikkah and then you can date each other, spend time together, go out, get to know each other. And all of it is halaal because your "engagement" is the nikkah thus making you lawful for each other islamically. So when they feel comfortable and know each other enough, they get "married", this marriage is where they do the see off and the girl goes to the guy's house to live together.

So in other words, what you are asking about is the arab engagement and is allowed and better way to go bout it. As for the 2nd part of that question...

Many Muslims are doing that in the arab world now and maybe other parts of the world. They do nikkah and have relationship with each other but don't live together since the guy can't afford it yet. So he visits her at her parents house and spends time with her. Technically it is halaal but something scholars frown upon and advise against. When you marry and move in together, you learn to adjust to each other, to take on responsibility, to work together as a family. When the guy comes to you and then goes off again doing his business. Then this sacred bond of marriage is reduced to nothing more than a bf/gf relationship. He gets to enjoy his single life without any responsibility and he can go to the girl whenever he wants. This in longer time can actually damage the relationship. The two don't learn responsibility and commitment and other things that come with living as a family. It weakens the family values they would normally be building.

So i'm for the nikkah and getting to know each other, but i personally would advise against conjugal relations type of relationship as a bad idea for long term. It's good to do nikkah but better to not wait too long before moving in together as a family.

i believe you can find similar question at islamqa.com
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princessz
09-02-2007, 03:07 PM
:sl:
Jazak Allah bro, that was really helpful. Living in a non muslim country, many guys get scared about the 'getting married immediately' thing. Even some of the muslim ones don't like it. So I just wanted to clear that up. I'll try to do some search on islamqa.com
Jazak Allah.
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