CoNFuSeD and SaD

[paradise88]

Salam.. Firstly i would like to say that i am not attention seeking or looking ofr sympathy. Just feels better when you talk about things with your fellow muslim brothers and sisters. I would just like some advice so i dont lose hope or anything.

Im the oldest child in my family and have been through a rough childhood, but not as bad as others so im thankfull for that. I do alot to please my parents but never feel appreciated. Instead i get verbal abuse or just disrespect. I get blamed for everything. If i wanted to i could go in the wrong path but my faith has made me be strong. However sometimes i feel scared and just feel liuke giving up. I cry so much sometimes thinking what have i done to deserve this..

What i said may not be clear and feel free to ask me anything i wont mind answering.. imsad

[Tania]

I think you are too soft. :-[ If something is always available, the people have the tendency to disrespect him/her.

Are you spending lot of time at home (like you are working or not) :?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah


mashaAllah its good to be such a strong pillar of suppose for your family, but at the same time everytihng shouldnt fall on you.

Im sure if you speak to your parents about this (or even cousins) you can reach a solution inshaAllah

[tryinghard]

First of all, Tania, I'm not sure this is a sign that she is so soft.

As for the person who submitted the question, I was in a similar position a couple of years ago. My family dumped their problems on me and also verbally abused/blamed me for everything. I was the scapegoat because I was quiet and didn't complain much. I became very depressed at home and suffered from lack of self-esteem. I've since grown up and moved out, and the effects of what I suffered still affect me today and I have difficulty interacting with others. What I never did was tell my family that what they were doing was wrong and perhaps that would make all the difference.

Also, if you are living at home, try and focus on other things, the good things in your life. Try and involve yourself in activities in school or outside of school, such as in your masjid. Develop a hobby. Try and focus on your schoolwork (if you are in school) because that will ensure a successful future for you. It would also be helpful if you had a trusted friend whom you could talk to or perhaps an adult. I hope this helps. :w:

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[Re.TiReD]

Im the oldest child in my family and have been through a rough childhood, but not as bad as others so im thankfull for that.

:salamext:

It can be tough being the eldest, I tell you. But these difficulties are all part and parcel of lifes' test. Allah loves those who are thankful, so thank Him for being better off than those who are completely alone in the world Insha'Allah.

I do alot to please my parents but never feel appreciated.

Everything you do, and all the efforts you make, make sure the intention is to please Allah alone, for it is HIS pleasure you need, nobody else's.

If i wanted to i could go in the wrong path but my faith has made me be strong.

Masha'Allah, you're strong sister, IMAN IS STRENGTH

However sometimes i feel scared and just feel like giving up. I cry so much sometimes thinking what have i done to deserve this..

Allah only tests those He loves, If He so desired, he could have made this dunya Jannah for you, but Insha'Allah, you will get your Jannah in the hereafter, as a result of the SABR you show in the face of the trials in the world.

May Allah guide and help you Sister. Wassalam

[Ayesha Rana]

If your parents have a chaotic life they may not realise what they are doing and how it is affecting you sis. If they love you and i\'m sure they do, then i\'m sure they appreciate you being there but they just don\'t realise that you shouldn\'t have to take so much responsibility even if you are the eldest. Whether you choose to tactfully let them know what u are going through is your choice but remember this sis>>> Innallaha ma3assaabireen
Indeed Allah is with the Patient
Whatever we are going through we will be rewarded for it insha\'Allah so don\'t give up k? Join the sisters section when you have enough posts insha\'Allah and talk to us because you are right, it really does help and insha\'Allah the problem will be solved or at least you won\'t feel alone.
wassalam n take care sis:)

[*~Sofia~*]

Salam sister,

Im so sorry to hear that you are at a difficult place, the replies that u have recieved from the many bros and sisters are great and i totally agree with them. I guess you just have to be patient sis and makes lots of du'a.

I would advise you to read this book.. i found it on a thread, and i have the book at home too (currently reading it).. its a realllly gud book, and it'll make u :) again sister.. it really is gud to read when ur feeling down and sad :(

If you have time, check it out inshallah.. im sorry im not much help :(

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...-dont-sad.html

I pray that Allah(swt) makes things easy for you and rewards your patience :)

w'salam
x

[Md Mashud]

Sabr towards your parents will greatly do one justice in the afterlife. Continue with your hard work, you know they mean well, parents just sometimes lose control...

[paradise88]

I think you are too soft. :-[ If something is always available, the people have the tendency to disrespect him/her.

Are you spending lot of time at home (like you are working or not) :?

Im not soft trust me, been through violence, got scar to prove it. At the end of the day i stay strong for Allah and cos they are my parents

[paradise88]

assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah


mashaAllah its good to be such a strong pillar of suppose for your family, but at the same time everytihng shouldnt fall on you.

my cousins are scared of my mum and pity me :(

[paradise88]

First of all, Tania, I'm not sure this is a sign that she is so soft.

As for the person who submitted the question, I was in a similar position a couple of years ago. My family dumped their problems on me and also verbally abused/blamed me for everything. I was the scapegoat because I was quiet and didn't complain much. I became very depressed at home and suffered from lack of self-esteem. I've since grown up and moved out, and the effects of what I suffered still affect me today and I have difficulty interacting with others. What I never did was tell my family that what they were doing was wrong and perhaps that would make all the difference.

Also, if you are living at home, try and focus on other things, the good things in your life. Try and involve yourself in activities in school or outside of school, such as in your masjid. Develop a hobby. Try and focus on your schoolwork (if you are in school) because that will ensure a successful future for you. It would also be helpful if you had a trusted friend whom you could talk to or perhaps an adult. I hope this helps. :w:

Your advice does help but i get shouted at if i do homework but they expect A's!

[paradise88]

If your parents have a chaotic life they may not realise what they are doing and how it is affecting you sis. If they love you and i\'m sure they do, then i\'m sure they appreciate you being there but they just don\'t realise that you shouldn\'t have to take so much responsibility even if you are the eldest. Whether you choose to tactfully let them know what u are going through is your choice but remember this sis>>> Innallaha ma3assaabireen
Indeed Allah is with the Patient
Whatever we are going through we will be rewarded for it insha\'Allah so don\'t give up k? Join the sisters section when you have enough posts insha\'Allah and talk to us because you are right, it really does help and insha\'Allah the problem will be solved or at least you won\'t feel alone.
wassalam n take care sis:)

Thanks sis.. the thing is they haven't got a busy life we dont even have relatives close by. The point is if i simply ask a question like 'when can we eat' i'll get a screaming rude response :confused:

[paradise88]

Salam sister,

Im so sorry to hear that you are at a difficult place, the replies that u have recieved from the many bros and sisters are great and i totally agree with them. I guess you just have to be patient sis and makes lots of du'a.

I would advise you to read this book.. i found it on a thread, and i have the book at home too (currently reading it).. its a realllly gud book, and it'll make u :) again sister.. it really is gud to read when ur feeling down and sad :(

If you have time, check it out inshallah.. im sorry im not much help :(

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...-dont-sad.html

I pray that Allah(swt) makes things easy for you and rewards your patience :)

w'salam
x

Thanks for that sis.. i will try my best as usual but just scared of losing hope

[paradise88]

Sabr towards your parents will greatly do one justice in the afterlife. Continue with your hard work, you know they mean well, parents just sometimes lose control...

I know they do but sometimes it feels like an evil person wouldnt treat you the way they do.. :(

[SirDemonic]

Parents are always parents, We jst gotta live with them 1 day we got to take care of them, don't worry 1 day you parent would realise how much help you where around the house and what you did for the family, Just keep your faith and trust Allah (swt) everything will work out

[Rafeeq]

Parents are parents. Dont be sad, and pray Allah for their health and Emaan.
Be proud that your Jannah is in your home, try to get maximum advantage of it.