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nevesirth
09-23-2007, 03:17 PM
They seek him here, they seek him there . . . but until now we didn’t know that the CIA were searching for Osama Bin Laden using the astral projection powers of a man best known for bending spoons.

Well, supposedly – for Uri Geller, who claims that he’s been asked by the US security services to use the psychic techniques he’s due to demonstrate in Scotland this week in a last-ditch attempt to locate the ****ed elusive al-Qaida leader, adds that naturally the American government are reluctant to let it be known.

But the “paranormalist” insists he’s deadly serious. Whenever he has a spare moment, he slips into a meditative state, casts his mind out of his body and sends it off to Afghanistan to see if Osama’s still hanging around, or if he’s slipped off elsewhere.

“I have been helping the American government and their security services for many years,” he claims. “It’s a technique called remote viewing. It began during the Cold War when they set up this unit to employ people; not psychics, but sensitives who are able to cast their minds out and see things – they had people who would send their thoughts to Russia and bring back information.

“But then there was a lot of newspaper controversy about it, so it was shut down – then after September 11, it was started up again.

“What we are being asked to do is to concentrate our minds on finding him. There are ‘sleepers’ out there waiting to be activated, which can be a very great danger.

“The only reason I can tell you about it is that the existence of this unit was already written about in the Washington Post – I was very surprised they let it come out, actually.” It’s a great story. And somehow you wouldn’t quite put it past George W. But is it entirely – well – true? Or is it an example of Geller’s most extraordinary talent of all – his talent for self-promotion, taking real events and asserting that his psychic powers are in some way involved.

For instance, just this week, a cross Bobby Robson tried to squash Geller’s claim to have broken a curse on Newcastle United – every few months seems to see him attempt to help or hinder some football team’s prowess.

Then there’s his talent for attracting famous friends. He’s just written a book all about them, Unorthodox Encounters, which is the most name-dropping tome since Who’s Who. Last year, his new-found chum Michael Jackson turned up to act as best man when Geller and his wife renewed their wedding vows.

He is quite clearly enthralled by celebrity in a way that most people who’ve been famous as long as he has don’t tend to be – he loves to list his contacts with an almost naive pleasure that, oddly, makes little distinction between them. He’s as proud of having persuaded boy band N*Sync to put an asterix in their name as of having mingled with world leaders. On his website, for instance, a picture captioned ‘Uri Geller with Vice President Al Gore, Yuli M Vorontsov, First Deputy Foreign Minister of the Soviet Union & Anthony Lake, then National Security advisor, later head of the CIA, Senator Claiborne Pell, Chairman of the US Senate Foreign Relations Committee’ is right above one of him with a sulky-looking Liam Gallagher.

You do like famous people, don’t you Uri? “Yes, but what you must understand is that most of these celebrities came to me – John Lennon came to me [they used to meet secretly once a week to discuss UFOs, apparently], Michael Jackson came to me, I can go on and on. When you have everything in the world materially, you start to seek for something else. “As a matter of fact, George Harrison, just before he died, said something very interesting. I went over to his house – I live about ten minutes away – to bend a spoon for his son’s birthday and he said to me: ‘When are you going to stop all this bloody spoon-bending rubbish? I didn’t stay singing ‘yeah, yeah, yeah’ with the Beatles forever.’ And I was kind of annoyed because I had gone over to entertain his son, you know, to do him a favour, but when I left I realised that he was right.”

So, taking Harrison’s advice, Geller has been trying to be taken more seriously.

The audience at his only Scottish appearance, in Glenrothes, are being invited to bring along broken watches and spoons for the usual ‘how does he do that?’ demonstrations. But primarily the show is to be a platform for Geller’s new spiritual beliefs, a hazy New Age blend of religion, positive thinking, ESP techniques and motivational speaking. “Well, I am sick and tired of spoon-bending, to be honest, but there will be a little of that because that is what I’m known for,” he sighs.

“When I became famous for spoon-bending, then I toured the world but it went nowhere – it was rather tiresome,” he explains. “There was no outcome of positivity from it. I did things just for money, it was all an ego-trip. And I understand why I was like that because of growing up poor, but it was very negative.

“I had a breakdown and became bulimic for a year. I had to spiritualise myself. So we disappeared, we got rid of all our possessions and went to live in Japan under Mount Fuji and really we were cut off, no phone, no television, no communications . . .” Not even psychic communication?

“No, because I really retreated from the world and just concentrated on spiritual things.”

But after a year Geller came back – “And now what is important for me is not materialistic things. I’m in a situation where I really don’t have to earn more money.”

Er, up to a point. Because Uri is big business – not, perhaps, as big business as he was in the Seventies, but nonetheless, there are the lucrative corporate talks, the books, both fiction and paranormal, the Uri Geller crystals, the Uri Geller kickboxing fitness video, the Uri Geller designer crockery (£250 a plate – the cutlery range comes un-bent), the casts of Uri’s Hands in glass or amber . . .

He’s also known for being famously litigious, with an on-call ‘Legal Guardian of Uri Geller’s Psychic Domain’ – a team of top American lawyers – ready to spring into action at the slightest implication that he may be a fraud, or that his trademark routines are being copied.

When a Pokemon character called Ungeller – which wielded bent spoons – was launched in Japan, an unamused Geller slapped Nintendo with a £60 million lawsuit, for instance.

Geller, naturally, says that it’s not about the money – it’s the principle of the thing. “I will not let anyone say lies about me. It is for my children, for my reputation and my livelihood.

“These people who are sceptics, they are sceptics about everything – and they are in the minority.”

It must be hard being so unwaveringly positive all the time, but if he ever lapses into negative thoughts, it doesn’t show. Controlled and precise, you get the impression that Uri Geller has convinced so many people because he’s so confidently convinced himself first.

Geller has never performed in Scotland before. “I have done lots of book stores appearances and television shows, but I have never done a full theatre tour. I told the promoter that I wanted to come to Scotland but I’m not really sure why it is in Glenrothes . . .” he says, sounding understandably confused. Perhaps it’s got something to do with Geller’s boast that his powers caused Scotland’s Gary McAllister to miss a vital penalty during Euro ’96 – a felony he says he later atoned for by sending positive vibes our way. Although perhaps not quite enough of them, judging by recent performances. But away with that negativity – think positive and all will be well. Terrorism can be beaten with the power of the mind, the famous will become our true friends and Osama will be tracked down by ESP.




http://www.100megsfree4.com/farshores/pgeller.htm
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'Abd al-Baari
09-23-2007, 03:36 PM
:sl:

lol ;D thats just daft...kinda reminds me of the movie 'Next'
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nevesirth
09-23-2007, 07:31 PM
Originally Posted by Abdullah2907
:sl:

lol ;D thats just daft...kinda reminds me of the movie 'Next'
but the guys famous. for being daft? i dnt know:-\
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'Abd al-Baari
09-23-2007, 07:36 PM
:sl:

What i meant is that it's daft that he thinks he has 'psychic' powers..Only Allah know the things which are open and hidden
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~Taalibah~
09-23-2007, 07:54 PM
:sl:
^o) Gee, i've read something like this somewhere.
i wonder if they will ever find him. (if he's alive)
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