i cnt bare My mothers sadness anymore! what can I/WE do? [Archive]

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AnonymousPoster

09-24-2007, 06:56 PM

:cry:

All her life she lived a life of stress, sadness & abuse (physical & mental). she describes her childhood life as being quite poor, & because she was the eldest of a family of 8, she always had to take on all the stress and sadness (even if that meant missing a meal & pretending she ate). But she had sabr-she always believed that if she took all the sadness and not speak back, one day she will get happiness in return.

After she married my father (who lived in London) she thought that would be the end of her sadness. a week could not go by, she realised my father was a dominant male. One who believes a woman should not speak up, complain or express any emoitions or make any contributions to decisions of any kind. Months could not go by, she got to experince dosmetic violence-BUT STILL my mother did not speak a word.:cry: My father lways had a faoul mouth and a beating my mother for anything that frustrates him was just a routine as my mother puts it. She still did not speak back to him. she wept alone, asking allah to help her, and she continued to live in that hope!:cry:

By the time my father got my mother over to London, my eldest two sisters were 4 and 1yrs old. My mother came to know that my father was ready to marry another woman. She didnt speak a word. not that he informed her, she says that though it hurt her, she never questioned him nor said no. So as my brothers and sisters were born (im the youngest, 7th in line), verbal abuse, physical abuse was just part of a wekkly life. My mother tells us, she only clinged on hoping Allah will answer her prayers one day, and maybe when her children grow up, thats when she'll have her prayers answered.

Most of our life, as far as i can remember (im 21 now) my father always has been back in his home country. he visits London now n then. But for the past 10 yrs he has been in Bangladesh. he has enough income in Bangladesh to live a happy life. land, buildings, shops...etc...makes his life luxurious in Bangladesh. Where did all this come from? my mother tells us, how she had to do home lining work from fazr to 1am everyday, earning money so he can buy all those possesions. what did she get out of it? nothing. she used to work for him, and any mistakes...she used to get beaten up. food at home was econmic and restricted as she puts it. because every penny was important for him. :enough!: my eldest sister even cries now, when she remebers the nights he used to beat her & rape her too! :cry: :cry: :cry:

majority of our lifetime, our mother brought us up alone while our father enjoyed his lifestyle in bangladesh! Because of that my eldest 2 brothers have been difficult for my mother to look after. from their age of 15, they were into crime and law breaking. hpw much can my mkther do to control them alone? and how much could my sisters help?:cry: My mtoher need my father support when her children were in their teens! but he wasnt there....the result? ? ?
.....BOTH my brother have been heroin drug addicts from the age of 20, they are in their late 20's now. My father knows of this, but still he explains its all my mothers fault! and he doesnt lend his hand in help. As im the younget im still at home with my mother and my 2 brothers. my sisters are married and have their own family.:cry:

everyday at home we live a life of hell. My mother is trapped in a house with two drug addicts who can get abusive-physically if she or anyone speaks a word. My mother gets £40 income support-but thats not enough after rent and bills, her sons do not earn and my partime job isnt enough to feed us 4. again she continues to live a life of stress, sadness and lack of food. majority of our valubles in our house have been stolen by our own brother for their drug need. my mother also has a lot of debt to pay, when she asks my father for a help in hand he refuses to help. she also has one land in bangladesh, which is enough to pay her debt and rehab her sons. but he doesnt let her sell it as he makes money from it. :cry:

Last night my mother got too emotional and was crying. My brothers have stolen my nephews IPOD and though they deny it, my sister is hitting the roof, and putting my mother through all the stress. EVERY1 seems to blame my mother for not doing something to my broters! but what can she do as a old woman? the law will not take them away as they are not abusing her. she doesnt have the physical strenght to fight them, or kick them out.And because their her sons, she feels she needs to help them. :cry:

last night she was complaining that she cannot take it anymore. she hardly has enough money to eat, let alone live with them. My father is loaded with money but he has many more dreams to fufil let alone help her. she is lubbard with my brothers. she is depressed because of how her life is and has been.

MY MOTHER NOWADAYS CRIES TO commit suicide! she says if only it wasnt forbidden in islam, she would have killed herself. she cannot take it anymore. none of us can help her. (my brothers have been rehabd several times)! I made my mother stay up last night and read taujud prayers b4 fajr. i told her its all up to allah. But seriously i dnt even uderstand! why has allah made my mothers life like this? when will he give her a bit of happiness? when!!!

pls make dua 4 my mother, i think shes been going through depression for long enough now. and i do not want to loose her because of this! when will this sadness end for her???????????

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