Ramadhan as a non-muslim.........

[tomtomsmom]

As many of you may know, I am a non-muslim woman married to a muslim man. This is the first Ramadhan that I have been invited to any family dinners to break the fast. Well, Saturday I went to one and it was........disappointing to say the least. My husbands family was wonderful! It was other guests that ruined the night for me. Some of the women were blatantly talking about me in arabic and saw nothing wrong with it. They laughed in my face at the way I pronounce the very few arabic words that I know. I was told that I should not pay attention to them and not let it get to me. They said that a lot of arabic women act this way. Sorry if I offend anyone, but this is simply NOT RIGHT!


I am not telling you all of this because I want a pity party. I am telling my story to serve as a simple reminder. This is a holy month that even I, as a non-muslim, can appreciate. Please remember that as you go throughout your days. You may feel that you are better because you are muslim and the person beside you is not. But there is no need to let that person know you feel that way. Consider how you make people feel in the way you act around them. Just because I may not understand the words, the intent is very clear. And if I know the intent, so does God.

And he is always watching.

[tomtomsmom]

Don't want to spam but just saw that my thread got approved so..........BUMP!

[Kittygyal]

salamualikum.
OMG get used to it.. happens to me aswel sis.. im a revert and muslims tend to laugh infront ma face and chat about me but i don't care coz they cn't stop me being a muslim now!!
Ma'assalama

[tomtomsmom]

salamualikum.
OMG get used to it.. happens to me aswel sis.. im a revert and muslims tend to laugh infront ma face and chat about me but i don't care coz they cn't stop me being a muslim now!!
Ma'assalama

I don't think I should get used to it. I don't think you should have to either sis. Acceptance of ignorance does nothing but help it spread.

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[Kittygyal]

I don't think I should get used to it. I don't think you should have to either sis. Acceptance of ignorance does nothing but help it spread.

Well im used to it sis ... i see people near my end looking at me as if they never seen a revert in life or more like a christain wearing scarf *not that i wear always, but me trying to*.. gave salam to them they turn face around as if they never heard it!.
Speaking in there own language is the worse thing which really gets me vexed because it's rude talking in a different language if there's another who doesn't understand!

[deen_2007]

oh this is so sad! are you sure they were saying bad stuff? maybe they were complimenting yo. like 'aww...shes trying'....

[tomtomsmom]

oh this is so sad! are you sure they were saying bad stuff? maybe they were complimenting yo. like 'aww...shes trying'....

Yes I am sure. I understand more arabic than they think I do.:ooh:

[Woodrow]

all I can say is there seems to be people in all faiths, cultures and nationalities that fail to have any concept of how much words can hurt. I am sorry to hear you were treated in that manner.

They should have felt honored that you had the desire to even attempt to speak some Arabic.

[deen_2007]

Yes I am sure. I understand more arabic than they think I do.:ooh:

:cry: ...well they sure are horrible people. not horrible muslims. lets just blame their personality and character. not their religion, as islam certainly doesnt teach them that! :grumbling

well...let me tell you something...atleast you know ur the better person. your trying to mix with them, not being rude to them & to top it all up....(from wat ive seen on LI) your a very lovely person! this isnt something u'l do is it? - if u wer in their boat. and nor would a muslim.

[AvarAllahNoor]

What does it matter sister? Allah knows the innermost thoughts of your heart, and those of the so called arabic women. You are better than them, rise above it and show them who is the better one. God Bless.

[chacha_jalebi]

ello ello :D

the best thing you should say is, dont backbite me:p and that should shut them up:D


because then they will realise they wrong hopefully, if they dont, then keep walking past them and say loudly "ughh whats that smell?":p

[deen_2007]

ello ello :D

the best thing you should say is, dont backbite me:p and that should shut them up:D


because then they will realise they wrong hopefully, if they dont, then keep walking past them and say loudly "ughh whats that smell?":p

:giggling: ....lol....better say "shame on you"....forgot how u say it in arabic....i learnt it on my holiday in Morroco!.......................OH YEAH i remember....say "shamah!"....(am i right people?:p )

[AvarAllahNoor]

if they dont, then keep walking past them and say loudly "ughh whats that smell?":p

LOL I don't think she is that childish. :D

[tomtomsmom]

:cry: ...well they sure are horrible people. not horrible muslims. lets just blame their personality and character. not their religion, as islam certainly doesnt teach them that! :grumbling

well...let me tell you something...atleast you know ur the better person. your trying to mix with them, not being rude to them & to top it all up....(from wat ive seen on LI) your a very lovely person! this isnt something u'l do is it? - if u wer in their boat. and nor would a muslim.

Yes sis you are right. I just wanted to serve a reminder to everyone here to keep in mind how they are supposed to act.

[جوري]

You might want to remind your husband of this verse from the Quran, that he may mention it to the ladies of leisure...

5 الحجرات 49 11 يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِنْ قَوْمٍ عَسَى أَنْ يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِنْهُمْ وَلا نِسَاءٌ مِنْ نِسَاءٍ عَسَى أَنْ يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِنْهُنَّ وَلا تَلْمِزُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَلا تَنَابَزُوا بِالأَلْقَابِ بِئْسَ الاسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الإِيمَانِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَتُبْ فَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ

[Pickthal 49:11] O ye who believe! Let not a folk deride a folk who may be better than they (are), not let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Bad is the name of lewdness after faith. And whoso turneth not in repentance, such are evil-doers.


I am Muslim and Arabic, I assure you, it isn't common, advised nor normal to backbite or deride, even for two parties to engage in conversation and exclude the third...

peace!

[Intisar]

Istaqhfurallah, as Muslims (no matter whether you are fasting or not) you DO NOT back bite because it is like eating the flesh of another human. Subhanallah! I know you are not a Muslim, but it is still sad to see people participating in such cruelty.

Major sins are indeed the cause for all misery, evil and torment in this world and the hereafter. And the worst of all sins are those that are greatest in harm and danger. Among the destructive major sins are backbiting and slandering.

These two sins were forbidden by Allah through His Prophet because they sow enmity, evils and discord among people and lead to destruction. They make their perpetrator regret when regret will be of no avail. They cause hostilities between people of the same household and between neighbours and relatives. They can decrease in good deeds and increase in evil ones and lead to dishonour and ignominy.

Backbiting and slandering are shame and disgrace. Their perpetrator is detested and he shall not have a noble death. Allah forbids these acts in His Book when He says,

“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful” (Al-Hujuraat 49: 12).

This verse strongly forbids backbiting for Allah likens the backbiter to one who eats the flesh of his dead brother. If he would hate eating the flesh of his brother, he should also hate to eat his flesh while he is alive by backbiting and slandering him.

When one reflects deeply over this assimilation it will be enough to keep one away from backbiting.

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said, “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.” . (Muslim)

[Looking4Peace]

You will find rudeness in every culture. Do not think all arab are mean. I am very fair and mostly caucasian for that matter and I live in a mostly hispanic neighborhood. I hear people talking about me sarcastically all the time not expecting me to understand them. But guess what. I am fluent in spanish. This does not mean i hold a grudge towards latinos because I know everyone is like that. It also happens when I am around russian people and i understand enough russian to catch people talking about me. So i scare them once i backtalk them back in their own language. YOu should see the embarassed oh know look on their face. To make things short word got around and noone dares anymore. People are rude and even more rude when they think you cant understand them. Cowards that put their tails between their legs when caught:hiding:

[ahmeduk]

These women should no better, and this is not what Islam teaches in terms of how our manners, conduct and character should be with people.
Try your best to just ignore them or perhaps you might just ask them/ someone to explain what they just said.

[islamirama]

Backbiting and slandering are shame and disgrace. Their perpetrator is detested and he shall not have a noble death. Allah forbids these acts in His Book when He says,

“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful” (Al-Hujuraat 49: 12).

This verse strongly forbids backbiting for Allah likens the backbiter to one who eats the flesh of his dead brother. If he would hate eating the flesh of his brother, he should also hate to eat his flesh while he is alive by backbiting and slandering him.

When one reflects deeply over this assimilation it will be enough to keep one away from backbiting.

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said, “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.” . (Muslim)

http://www.youtube.com/v/xsjkb4VkiwU

[MaiCarInMtl]

My dear, you are much more kind and patient than I! I would have either become very angry... or cried. I take things too personally.

It makes me so sad to see that people think they are better than others, superior and can do and say whatever they want. In the meantime, they are only demeaning themselves and God will deal with them as he sees fit when the time comes.

Don't feel bad, as those who talk in peoples' backs only do it because they themselves are so insecure that they feel the need to make others feel worse than they do. Only then can they feel good about themselves.

[tomtomsmom]

My dear, you are much more kind and patient than I! I would have either become very angry... or cried. I take things too personally.

It makes me so sad to see that people think they are better than others, superior and can do and say whatever they want. In the meantime, they are only demeaning themselves and God will deal with them as he sees fit when the time comes.

Don't feel bad, as those who talk in peoples' backs only do it because they themselves are so insecure that they feel the need to make others feel worse than they do. Only then can they feel good about themselves.

Thank you. You give me more credit than I deserve. I was angry and I did cry (blame pregnancy hormones!) but I am much too proud to show it to anyone but my husband. I am too stubborn to give them the satisfaction of seeing me upset over their ignorance.

[mariam.]

As many of you may know, I am a non-muslim woman married to a muslim man. This is the first Ramadhan that I have been invited to any family dinners to break the fast. Well, Saturday I went to one and it was........disappointing to say the least. My husbands family was wonderful! It was other guests that ruined the night for me. Some of the women were blatantly talking about me in arabic and saw nothing wrong with it. They laughed in my face at the way I pronounce the very few arabic words that I know. I was told that I should not pay attention to them and not let it get to me. They said that a lot of arabic women act this way. Sorry if I offend anyone, but this is simply NOT RIGHT!


I am not telling you all of this because I want a pity party. I am telling my story to serve as a simple reminder. This is a holy month that even I, as a non-muslim, can appreciate. Please remember that as you go throughout your days. You may feel that you are better because you are muslim and the person beside you is not. But there is no need to let that person know you feel that way. Consider how you make people feel in the way you act around them. Just because I may not understand the words, the intent is very clear. And if I know the intent, so does God.

And he is always watching.

peace be upon you tomtomsmom:

sister, please accept my apology :cry: and don't bother with what those women did .. they missed out the prophet way and forget that God has conferred a favor upon them that He has guided them to the faith.

and I ask God who knows every thing .. to Show you and me the straight way, The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace .. Ameen

God said in his holy book: " O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor let some women laugh at others: it may be that the (latter are better than the (former): nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: and those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong. "

the prophet mohammad peace be upon him said:" Where there are three of you in a company ,two should not hold confidential talks together till the number increases,lest the third man might fell annoyed. "

peace .. see you in makkah insha'allah (God willing)

[Ommuslim]

I am Muslim and Arabic, I assure you, it isn't common, advised nor normal to backbite or deride, even for two parties to engage in conversation and exclude the third...

peace!

I have nothing to say more :)
blessed Ramadan everyone :)