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don532
09-27-2007, 10:20 PM
There is a very nice couple that run a sandwich shop near where I work that are muslim. I eat there often and we have pleasant conversation, especially about other cultures when I return from a trip.

Is it appropriate to wish them a happy Ramadan? What would be an appropriate and respectful thing to say? Or is it a subject as a non-muslim I should not bring up because I do not participate in it?

Thoughts? Thank you and peace.
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NoName55
09-28-2007, 12:43 AM
that is an intresting question. when people wish me well I say thank you, nod and smile.

but when it is Easter or Chrismas time and they say happy easter or xmas, I reply; "likewise" I mean I actually utter the word "likewise" and no offense is ever taken

edit:

don't mind me I am not making any sense to even to myself

wa salam (peace)
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جوري
09-28-2007, 01:58 AM
Originally Posted by don532
There is a very nice couple that run a sandwich shop near where I work that are muslim. I eat there often and we have pleasant conversation, especially about other cultures when I return from a trip.

Is it appropriate to wish them a happy Ramadan? What would be an appropriate and respectful thing to say? Or is it a subject as a non-muslim I should not bring up because I do not participate in it?

Thoughts? Thank you and peace.
I always found the line used by some of my more cognizant attendings really thoughtful and well said.. 'Are you observing Ramadan' because some people for illness or whatever reason don't, so it is best to ask before making the assumption.. and if they nod or whatever, then you wish them spiritual and religious fulfillment or simply wish that they'd meet with their goals for the month..
you'd be surprised what a wonderful thing it is to share just two kind words with someone...
peace to you Don :sunny:
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don532
09-28-2007, 02:46 AM
I had considered asking first and you confirmed that. I think that's what I'll do. They are such nice people, I'd hate to stumble, or create an awkward situation by trying to be nice. Peace!
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NoName55
09-28-2007, 02:57 AM
I'd hate to stumble, or create an awkward situation by trying to be nice.
^^ most people are intelligent enough to recognise sincerity face to face. I mean you should have no fear (you even sound sincere enough from formation of your sentences, without me having to look at you) wa salam

edit:

you have to stop trying to be nice, just be yourself and only say what comes naturally. Just think of them as fellow Americans with different religion and the rest will happen by itself
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Woodrow
09-28-2007, 03:09 AM
Very nice Gesture on your part Don.

Do not be surprised if in turn they ask you to join them in Eid Fit'r. That is a very festive time for us. You will not be asked to to do anything, except share the food.
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snakelegs
09-28-2007, 03:17 AM
Originally Posted by PurestAmbrosia
I always found the line used by some of my more cognizant attendings really thoughtful and well said.. 'Are you observing Ramadan' because some people for illness or whatever reason don't, so it is best to ask before making the assumption.. and if they nod or whatever, then you wish them spiritual and religious fulfillment or simply wish that they'd meet with their goals for the month..
you'd be surprised what a wonderful thing it is to share just two kind words with someone...
peace to you Don :sunny:
well i dunno, but i say "ramadan mubarak" to my muslim friends and no one has taken offense. (actually, it never occurred to me that they might).
personally, i would not ask whether or not someone was observing ramadan because that would put them in a position of either feeling bad, or having to explain.
what can be wrong with saying "a blessed ramadan"? - i think even muslims who do not observe it, are at least dimly aware that it is a special, blessed time.
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don532
09-28-2007, 03:30 AM
Originally Posted by NoName55
^^ most people are intelligent enough to recognise sincerity face to face. I mean you should have no fear (you even sound sincere enough from formation of your sentences, without me having to look at you) wa salam

edit:

you have to stop trying to be nice, just be yourself and only say what comes naturally. Just think of them as fellow Americans with different religion and the rest will happen by itself
You and I definitely agree on the points you make. Perhaps I'm being overly cautious.

One of my favorite sayings used to be "Engage brain before mouth". I have also learned there are situations where I should seek the advice of others before I speak. My conscience seemed to be telling me this was one of those situations.

Thank you again and peace.
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don532
09-28-2007, 03:33 AM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
Very nice Gesture on your part Don.

Do not be surprised if in turn they ask you to join them in Eid Fit'r. That is a very festive time for us. You will not be asked to to do anything, except share the food.
Perhaps they will. I'll let you know!
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جوري
09-28-2007, 03:40 AM
Originally Posted by snakelegs
well i dunno, but i say "ramadan mubarak" to my muslim friends and no one has taken offense. (actually, it never occurred to me that they might).
personally, i would not ask whether or not someone was observing ramadan because that would put them in a position of either feeling bad, or having to explain.
what can be wrong with saying "a blessed ramadan"? - i think even muslims who do not observe it, are at least dimly aware that it is a special, blessed time.
lol.. speaking of which.. I have actually been in a situation where an 'Iranian' guy was asking a bunch of us what is the special occasion a were all gathered to eat and we told him it was Ramadan.. he said, really Ramadan started, when did it start?...we just stared at him in wonder as we were three weeks into it.. that was three or four yrs ago.. you are probably more cognizant or Ramadan than folks who should actually be observing it...

peace!
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Grace Seeker
09-28-2007, 04:36 AM
Don, maybe this personal story will help.

I ask my daughter how her celebration of Ramadan was going when we last talked, and she said to me, "We do not celebrate Ramadan."

It took me aback for a second, because that sounded so much unlike her. "You're not?", I asked.

Then she repeated herself, "No, we do not celebrate."

And then I got it, "I'm sorry. I used the wrong word, I should have asked how your observance of Ramadan was going."

And following that we had a very nice conversation in which she filled me in on everything, the peace she was experiencing, the closeness with Allah that she was seeking, and many other things.
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north_malaysian
09-28-2007, 06:27 AM
We "celebrate" Ramadan.. but not with parties, singing etc.:hiding:

Just feel celebrating it by trying to be closer to God.
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NoName55
09-28-2007, 08:11 AM
... some of us don't celebrate until Eid, we oserverve (fasting and extra night time prayers) >> click <<
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-28-2007, 11:39 AM
lol wat a nice thread

dont worry about it too much don, just ask away :). If it was me i would recognize ur sincerity and even if you stumbled i would attempt to give a warm reply back.

so just be yourself :)
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