afraid

[sevgi]

salams...

i would firstly like to say that it is taking me alot to write this...but believe that i need help and advice.

i fear Allahs judgement very much. more than that, i fear death. i fear it so much, i cant think about it...i fear it so much, i can barely write this post.

besides that, i feel that i will go to hell.

i know this sounds weird from a believer...but its true. and i do pray, fast etc...dnt have any (i think)left out...

im scared that i lack sincerity...but dnt know how, or lack the will to gain it...

im just trying to share my problem and get a few pointers.

anyone care to share?

thank u in advance...
:w:

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
hmmm...i hope this helps. it not completely an answer to your question, but i think it;s quite similar.
http://islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=22...0showing%20off
http://islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=45...0showing%20off
http://islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=67...0showing%20off
as for fearing death and judgement, im not sure the answer to this.
:sl:

[sevgi]

thanks a bunch sis...

u always seem to be there:)

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
lol. yeah, i love that website. :D
:sl:

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[snakelegs]

i think the fact that you are so concerned shows that you are sincere.
i cannot advise you. all i can say is that one of the very first things i learned about islam is that god is merciful.

[جوري]

I am as My servant thinks of Me, and I am with him when he remembers Me. If he mentions Me in Himself I mention him in Myself. If he mentions Me in a gathering, I mention him in a better gathering. If he comes near Me one hand-span (shibran) I come near him one cubit (dhira’an). If he comes near Me one cubit I come near him an arm’s length (ba’an). If he comes to Me walking, I come to him running.

[Ibn Al Aqwa]

i fear Allahs judgement very much. more than that, i fear death. i fear it so much, i cant think about it...i fear it so much, i can barely write this post.

besides that, i feel that i will go to hell.

This is normal sister, if you didnt fear Allah, If you didnt fear judgement, if you didnt fear Hell, Then what would motivate you to do good deeds?

To fear Allah is good, to balance it with hope, is also very important.

i know this sounds weird from a believer...but its true. and i do pray, fast etc...dnt have any (i think)left out...

as i said, not weird, normal. And something you may notice, the more pious believers, fear Allah more...The ignorant muslims, do not fear at all....

this is weird, you would think it should be the other way around, but this is the sunnah of Islam....

im scared that i lack sincerity...but dnt know how, or lack the will to gain it...

Well if you thought you had sincerity, then you would relax wouldnt you, you wouldnt care as much......it is better this way....

I hope this helps...Insha'Allah

[sevgi]

thanks guys...

i take note of everything you guys have said.

i think i shud add one thing. i, regardless of how scared i am, feel as tho i continue to do wrong things.well, i dnt think i do wrong things as such...its like, i feel as tho i lack i dno, takwa, like God is just not happy with me, even tho i am pretty average...i feel as tho i have become too stuck and comitted to my worldly things...

i dno...do i even make sense? lol...sorry guys.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
yes, you make sense. very much so. i go through similar things myself. like i have this bad impression (soo' althan) of allah. like He is going to punish me. like i always have these negative thoughts, not always positive, eg about HIs rahmah, paradise, etc. but thats not to say that i have great taqwa of allah. dont take that the wrong way. in other words, sometimes i feel like im gonna be doomed. somtimes i feel that allah is angry with me. and also sometimes i go through these thoughts like are my deeds accepted? have i invalidated my iman without me knowing somehow. am i a kaafir without me knowing it. it can be a little overwheming sometimes.
:sl:

[jzcasejz]

Well fearing Allaah (SWT) is a good thing. However, you have to keep a healthy balance between the fear and hope that you have in Allaah (SWT). So always remain hopeful for your prayers and Duas to be accepted as well as fearing Him. :]

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
yes, and thats what i seem to lack. i cant seem to strike the balance. also, i seem to lack tawakkul (trust) in allah.
:sl:

[InToTheRain]

i dno...do i even make sense? lol...sorry guys.

:sl:

Of course you do! I think when one fears Allah(SWT) so much he/she loses hope in the rewards of Allah(SWT) for they think Allah(SWT) can never forgive them for certain things they did or do. Because of this mentaility they go on commiting other sins, thinking that it's doesn't matter what they do anymore as they are destined for hell anyways, so who cares if I do x, y, and z since I am going to hell....

[PIE]Khawf (fear) and rajaa' (hope) complement one another. The similitude of the
heart in its travel to Allah is like a bird. Love is its head, and khawf and
rajaa' are the wings. When the head and both wings are sound, the bird is
capable and skilled in flying. However, when the head is cut off, the bird
will die. When the bird loses a wing, it then becomes a target for every
hunter and predator.The scholars favored, however, the wing of khawf over the
wing of rajaa', especially wh en the person is young and healthy. They
favored the wing of rajaa' over the wing of khawf when the person is about to
leave this world.

Abu Sulaiman said, "The heart ought to have more khawf. When rajaa'
dominates, it ruins it." It was also said, "The best state is to have the
same amount of khawf and rajaa', but to have more love. Love is the boat,
rajaa' is the leader, khawf is the driver, and Allah is the One Who helps
those reach the goal by His Grace and Generosity."

http://www.islamworld.net/khawf.html
[/PIE]

So have Hope in Allah(SWT) mercy.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
subhaanallah. jazakallahu khair
:sl: