help in softening the heart -

[IbnAbdulHakim]

assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah

for ages i have felt hard hearted, and the only thing i know which can greatly help is:

When a man complained to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) of having a hard heart, the Prophet said: "Stroke orphans' heads and feed the poor."

Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1295

------------------------------------

A man once came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu`alaihiwasallam, and complained that he feels hardness in his heart. The Messenger of Allah said, what translated means, "Would you like that your heart becomes soft and that you acquire what you need? Be merciful with the orphan, pat his head and feed him from what you eat. This will soften your heart, and enable you to get what you need."
[At-Tabaraanee & As-Silsilah as-Saheehah]

but im asking where can one find orphans and physically go to distribute food amongst the poor here in london?


all input will be greatly appreciated

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
jazakallahu khair. but why dont you go travelling. go to it, instead of it coming to you.
:sl:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ job :( responsibilities...

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
dont they give you leave.
:sl:

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[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ used em up already, got only a few days left... btw i thot that hadith meant u hav to do it regularly, not just once a year kinda thing....

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
yes, thats a good point. do you have a local muslim organization you could get in contact with. :hmm: maybe they will gve you directios. do you know anyone who knows anyone who is an orphan??
:sl:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ another good suggestion, i was somehow expecting information of a place filled with poor or orphaned children. lol.


i'll see what information i can find from my masjid

[Malaikah]

:sl:

You can sponsor orphans through Muslim organisations, um well they sometimes send you pics of the kid... that is about all. No patting, sorry.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
ermm..in a western country. an orphanage full of muslims. :hmm:
:sl:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:sl:

You can sponsor orphans through Muslim organisations, um well they sometimes send you pics of the kid... that is about all. No patting, sorry.

this doesnt help ukhtee... we need to physically be close to the mentioned poor and orphaned.

i asked around to see if anyone knows any orphanages, no one seems to know any in london...

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:sl:
ermm..in a western country. an orphanage full of muslims. :hmm:
:sl:

it doesnt have to be full of muslims, an orphan be he christian/hindi etc wouldnt bother me, their all innocent until rejection of islam.... orphans are normally young, so by visiting them maybe we can be a means of their guidance towards islam..

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
dont just look in london brother. try going to the nearest town or something.
:sl:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ another good suggestion.


jizakAllah khair, it would make it a far harder commitment to meet, but worth the try inshaAllah

[Ummu Sufyaan]

it doesnt have to be full of muslims, an orphan be he christian/hindi etc wouldnt bother me, their all innocent until rejection of islam.... orphans are normally young, so by visiting them maybe we can be a means of their guidance towards islam..

:sl:
im not sure of the ruling of this. (if there is one). but i'd prefer a muslim (thats not to say that the child of a non-muslim is a kaafir). i dont see why i should worry too much about the kuffaars children, when so many of the children of the muslims are being neglected. once that is sorted out, than maybe i'll look twice to the child of the kaafir. thats just my opinion, and it probably sounds a little harsh. but dont look at it that way. just trying to care for the muslims first.
:sl:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ i see your point but if we cant find muslim children then inshaAllah the kaafir orphans and poor will help soften our hearts.

lol sounds a bit selfish :X

[Camomilla]

thanx for the share, Jazakallah Khair!

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
brother, do you have any relatives that are orphans??
:sl:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

no... not that i know of..

i heard that a yateem (orphan) is an orphan as long as there is no father according to either the arab culture or islam??. Is this true?

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
i dont know brother. i tried researching, but was unsuccessful.
:sl:

[Medina83]

Don't we say that every baby is a muslim at birth, just diverted by parents/society etc to other religions or atheism? Therefore, if an orphan was once a muslim and has been led astray unknowingly, I wouldn't regard them as 'children of kaafir' until they make their own choice at a later stage.

by the way if you are looking to feed the poor and you want to do it physically yourself as opposed to just sending money abroad or whatever, and if there turns out to be no muslim organisation in your area you can work with, then I would encourage you to just take a walk some evening down a street in london or your town and if you see a homeless person or a begging person stop and ask them if you can get them something hot to eat.

In my experience it's appreciated by any human soul as most of them are sitting in the cold for hours.

[Medina83]

no... not that i know of..

i heard that a yateem (orphan) is an orphan as long as there is no father according to either the arab culture or islam??. Is this true?

I know thats the definition that Muslim Hands the charity uses anyway.

[Miss Palestine]

i never knew thatt...but Mashaa'Allah pretty cool....i need 2 tell my uncle 2 go do that lolz

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you IbnAbdulHakim;

The request was a plea to soften the heart and the Prophet pbuh, replied feed the orphans and the poor, he did not say only feed them if they are Muslim. I truthfully believe that all people are created by the same God regardless of our faith, and we each have a duty of care to all of God’s creation.

About three years ago we sponsored a child in Uganda through World Vision and she sends us letters three or four times a year, it is truthfully a heart softening process over time. I still do not know which faith she follows and I would not like to ask.

About a billion people live on less than a dollar a day in grinding poverty, we really can make a difference to one of them. The softening of the heart comes over time and it is a humbling experience as the child grows.

As Malaikah has said there are also Muslim charities that do this too.

In the spirit of praying for Trade Justice

Eric

[Malaikah]

no... not that i know of..

i heard that a yateem (orphan) is an orphan as long as there is no father according to either the arab culture or islam??. Is this true?

:sl:

Yeh that is true... because if they still have their father they don't need our financial support because they still have that from their father.

Don't we say that every baby is a muslim at birth, just diverted by parents/society etc to other religions or atheism? Therefore, if an orphan was once a muslim and has been led astray unknowingly, I wouldn't regard them as 'children of kaafir' until they make their own choice at a later stage.

But children of the kuffar means their parents are not Muslim, so I don't see what their choice has to do with anything? :?

Either way we are encouraged to help the poor of both the Muslims and non-Muslims.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Don't we say that every baby is a muslim at birth, just diverted by parents/society etc to other religions or atheism? Therefore, if an orphan was once a muslim and has been led astray unknowingly, I wouldn't regard them as 'children of kaafir' until they make their own choice at a later stage.

by the way if you are looking to feed the poor and you want to do it physically yourself as opposed to just sending money abroad or whatever, and if there turns out to be no muslim organisation in your area you can work with, then I would encourage you to just take a walk some evening down a street in london or your town and if you see a homeless person or a begging person stop and ask them if you can get them something hot to eat.

In my experience it's appreciated by any human soul as most of them are sitting in the cold for hours.

:sl:
sis, if you were refering to me, what i meant was i'd prefer to look after a muslims offsring, rather than a non-muslim. my heart feels more at ease, thats all.

btw, brother IbnAbdulhakim, i found this hadith:
Narrated Sahl bin Sa'd (رضي الله عنه): The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, "I and the person who looks after an orpahn and provides for him, will be in Paradise this," putting his index and middle fingers together (Sahih Al-Bukhari, 8/6005 (O.P. 34). i dont know what O.P.34 means though.
i was thinking maybe you should spend a whole day wth them, for example. what i mean is, an orphan may find it a little strange if you just randomly pat his head. so maybe you could invite him/her to your house for lunch, or take them to a park, buy them icecream, take them to the masjid and teach them how to perfom wudoo and prayers, etc etc. make sure that the day is aaaall about them.
:sl:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ ive spoken to some brothers and they say that best thing to do is to go to another country.... london is the place for hard heartedness and sin, seriously how does one achieve a soft state in london?????

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
you just have to try your best. you really do. like i said before, dont wait for people to get the ball rolling. if you dont see anything being done, get the ball rolling yourself. dont wait for people.
:sl:

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:, Is helping orphans the only means you have found to soften your heart? And I know you want to actively do something but have you tried sponsoring an orphan? or doing other charitable deeds, e.g fundraising? because wallahi, doing something like that...no matter how far you are to the people who are receiving your aid- is always an eye opener and it makes you feel so good SubhanAllah, I'm talking from experience.

So whatever it is you do, as long as the correct intention is at heart, you will find the reward with Allah SubhanahuWata'aala. May Allah guide you. Ameen

[poga]

assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah

for ages i have felt hard hearted, and the only thing i know which can greatly help is:



but im asking where can one find orphans and physically go to distribute food amongst the poor here in london?


all input will be greatly appreciated

:sl: if you lose father and mother you get orphan siblings
if you lose grandfather then you get orphan father and uncles
just to say don't go looking in london start from you home:w:

[poga]

^ ive spoken to some brothers and they say that best thing to do is to go to another country.... london is the place for hard heartedness and sin, seriously how does one achieve a soft state in london?????

:sl: hard hearted people have very soft brain
so if you can make the brain strong then you will have soft heart
because greedy people are stupid:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

poga the amount of sense ur weirdness makes is quite amazing :D

jazakAllah khair brother, i appreciate it :)

[Intisar]

:salamext: Perhaps you can go to a local soup kitchen, or invite someone over and give them a meal? :?

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:

Without Doubt, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest- Ar Ra'd 13:28

[Ayesha Rana]

Assalamu-alaikum people!!!
Just wanted to point out... I think an orphan whether his parents were non-muslim or not is as equally deserving of our help and support because whatever his/her parents were, they aren\'t alive any more... gettit? And it\'s the intention that counts
Oh and in Islam one who loses his father is considered an orphan for as long as he is not old inough to be independant.
And i wanna open an orphanage some day Insha\'Allah... any ideas:?
Not in this country. Firstly with all the state benefits and stuff it isn\'t as needed and i\'d feel better if it was a muslim country cos i wouldn\'t have to worry about the law too much...

[Re.TiReD]

Assalamu-alaikum people!!!
Just wanted to point out... I think an orphan whether his parents were non-muslim or not is as equally deserving of our help and support because whatever his/her parents were, they aren\'t alive any more... gettit? And it\'s the intention that counts
Oh and in Islam one who loses his father is considered an orphan for as long as he is not old inough to be independant.
And i wanna open an orphanage some day Insha\'Allah... any ideas:?
Not in this country. Firstly with all the state benefits and stuff it isn\'t as needed and i\'d feel better if it was a muslim country cos i wouldn\'t have to worry about the law too much...

:salamext:

why not support the existing orphanages and help to make them more successful insha'Allah, rather than opening another?

[Ayesha Rana]

^^^
ooooh nice idea-thanx sis but i want it to be MY orphanage so i can influence it and bring the kiddies up lovingly the way I want to-gettit? Then it would be so much more satisfying and i\\\'d enjoy myself more and so do better... Insha\\\'Allah
being with orphans and seeing what they go through really makes u realise how much u hav to be thankful for... a family for instance

[Re.TiReD]

yes I get that, but I am sure all orphans in an orphange would be bought up 'lovingly' Insha'Allah.

And I know the level of satisfaction varies, but I was merely suggesting something a little more practical and in my opinion beneficial.

For example, new masjids are always being built whilst old ones are only half full. Although orphanages may already be full, making a new one may not be as beneficial as helping one that is already established.

[poga]

^^^
ooooh nice idea-thanx sis but i want it to be MY orphanage so i can influence it and bring the kiddies up lovingly the way I want to-gettit? Then it would be so much more satisfying and i\\\'d enjoy myself more and so do better... Insha\\\'Allah
being with orphans and seeing what they go through really makes u realise how much u hav to be thankful for... a family for instance

:sl:do you like to bring up like your very own doll house
your very own dolly doing your very own game
very nice call it barbyn-nessa
orphange and mardrasa:w:

[...]

Reading the Qur'an and remembering death softens the heart..

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
brother, you do realise that there a numerous ways to soften teh heart. if you are unable to do it this way, try another way, inshallah.
:sl:

[Ayesha Rana]

:sl:do you like to bring up like your very own doll house
your very own dolly doing your very own game
very nice call it barbyn-nessa
orphange and mardrasa:w:

not a doll house, they're kids and it's not a game. Anyway I'd like to call it FiSabeelillah or something cos i'd be raising them in the path of Allah Insha'Allah.

And sis Rose_Ice's advice is really helpfull Insha'Allah, especially if you understand what you are reciting
wassalam

[Ayesha Rana]

yes I get that, but I am sure all orphans in an orphange would be bought up 'lovingly' Insha'Allah.

And I know the level of satisfaction varies, but I was merely suggesting something a little more practical and in my opinion beneficial.

For example, new masjids are always being built whilst old ones are only half full. Although orphanages may already be full, making a new one may not be as beneficial as helping one that is already established.

*sigh* u know ur right sis. I'd need one big sum on money to start my own lol! but there's no harm in trying with patience insha'Allah, maybe to do both...

[Umm Yoosuf]

Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatulaah

Masha Allah lots of suggestions given.

Thread closed.