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View Full Version : Hijab, or lack of. Im angry and just ranting.



Thanaa
10-07-2007, 08:20 PM
Ive been reading just now, the comments on a hijabis blog elsewhere on the web.
One of them really riled me; Im practically spitting.
A sister (or brother-pretty certain it was a sister) had commented on women who dont wear hijab.
In her opinion "...a sista with out a hijab is just a wanabe that doesnt accept or is ashamed/embaressd of their islamic identity.
the best sistaz are the ones with hijab".
I find this particularly offensive, as I am no wannabe, but do not wear hijab. Insha Allah though, Ill be wearing niqab by the end of next year...
Anyhoo, The reason that I dont wear hijab is because I am at serious risk of being made homeless by my parents, if they find out that Im Muslim, which would then put me at risk of starvation and rape.

What I do not understand is how many people forget that a Muslim is not better than another Muslim (or anyone else for that matter) except in piety and good deeds.
While I agree that a headcovering is obligatory, I do not believe that all women who wear hijab (or even sometimes, niqab) are pious or particularly nice people.
How then can they be the best kind of sister?
This attitude is precisely what drives people away from Islam.
It also causes some Asian men to prey sexually on young white girls.
They consider it a shame to have sex with Asian Muslim women before marriage, and think that these women must be superior (if they are muslim women) by virtue of having cloth on their heads,and by being Asian/Muslim, no matter how religionless these women may be, and so they just go for the "white meat".
Many of these white girls are under 16, and naive.
You may have heard that one of these rings was broken up recently, and two men jailed. I cant remember if they were Muslim, but I know that some men involved in this are.
Its disgusting.
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snakelegs
10-07-2007, 09:06 PM
there is never any shortage of people willing to do god's work for him. (passing judgement).
i agree, it is not what is outside (cloth) but what is in the heart.
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Kittygyal
10-07-2007, 09:08 PM
Salamualikum.
I understad hun i certainly do... That is offensive to behonest cause i don't wear hijab always but im trying to and my rest of family who are christains don't like me dressing modestly but i try to.. Im soo happy they let me be a muslim and i don't want them to actually take that oppertunity away from me aswel.

THE BEST SISTERS ARE THE ONE WITH HIJAB
Subhan'Allaah thats soo selfish! how can one judge another? how does one know how the hiajbi's act? ONLY Allaah can judge no-one else can!.. I know a lot of muslim woman who don't wear hijab but still are practising young muslim women, that does not mean you have to wear hijab instantly. Some people take more time to learn than others!
A muslim is same as another muslim no matter if there rich or poor. In the eyes of Allaah were ALL equal!.

Sis i understand this attitude does drive reverts away, i feel the same to behonest after reading this. It's like the muslim women who wear hiajb seem to rule islam or something! Subhan'Allaah how selfish!

saying these narky comments give other men to go for teenage white gyals!! THAT SUX!!

All i can say is who ever wrote that comment is very selfish and needs to lower them self down and not think there high and others are low!..

I see some muslim women wearing makeup on when got niqab on is that allowed? NO so then how can they be so called 'good hijab ladies' HA!


NONSENSE!!

sis u just ignore these kinda comments coz there not worth it hun
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Shorty x
10-07-2007, 09:33 PM
Salaamz,

This is a very interesting subject, and one which is discussed by majority of muslim girls, especially those who do not wear the hijab, but are still practicing muslims. and who are labelled negatively!!!!!!!!

Thannaa hunni, u ignore these ignorant ppl, who say these things, they shouldnt judge.
I am a muslim, and i do not wear the hijab, i do practice when ever i can, through out the whole year,i respect my elders, i get on with everyone, i am always helping people when ever i can, support them etc ,I wear english clothes mainly, but not revealing clothes, i also wear asian cothes too. When i dress in my english clothes , i am covered, i make sure im not wearing anything revealing,too tight etc. I admit, i love my fashion, so i can say, or ppl have said that i have a trendy dress sense.

So when ppl meet me for the first time , esp muslims, they are shocked when they hear that i am a muslim, and that i too read the namaaz, etc. I dont go clubbing , i dont drink, i dont smoke weed, i dont believe in relationships, i dont bleev in sex before marriage. I am a uni student and all of these are common amongst girls around the uni. Trust me!
I know a couple of girls at the uni, who do go clubbing, and they wear the hijab, now i can say that because i know them, and i have seen them in pictures coz they know a few girls at uni, who i happen to know too.. and i was told not to tell anyone.

These days , it doesnt matter if you wear the hijab or not, it is the person you are that counts.
And i especially despite those ,(mainly guys) ,who think just because a girl wears a hijab, she is automatically a saint, but he / she does not know what she does behind closed doors etc. Yes its true, it is only for Allah to judge, and so shall be it.

This is why they say , you shouldnt judge a book by its cover!!!!!!!

No disrespect to any sisters wearing hijabs out there who are practicing muslims (mashallah) , majority of my friends wear hijabs , and they are good muslims. and i know a few ppl who wear the scarf loose, and who are getting ready to wear the hijab, and they will not proceed any further until they know that they are ready to wear the hijab. Wearing of the hijab comes with many responsibilities, and is something that no one should take advantage off!!!! Inshallah when i am ready i will also wear the hijab.

Good luck to Thanaa for your future of wearing the niqab , inshallah xx

Just be yourself, and it is Allah who sees the true you, and you will be rewarded, these ppl will also be judged one day!!!

Take care
W'salaamz
shorty xx
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Md Mashud
10-07-2007, 09:40 PM
Its not really about how good of a muslim - rather wearing a hijaab is going through hardship in the modern world for sake of Allah. I can see that you are in a situation, but I too know of a guy who was in a similar situation. However, he did not hide his Islam from his family, who indeed threatened, even ripped up Quran/ Prayer mat. But he stood strong. Sometimes, everything is worth giving up for the sake of Allah. Hijaab is not to show off your a good muslim, but it is an obligatory part of Islam - so not wearing it is somewhat inexcusable. The harder the situation to do so, the bigger the reward, don't forget that sisters. Life is, only a test :)...
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Musaafirah
10-07-2007, 09:50 PM
:sl:
I feel for you sis, but all the same, I must say one thing angers me is when a Muslim sister goes and tells people that she is a devout practicing muslim, but has not seen anywhere in the Qur'an the need to wear the hijab! As well as sisters who don the hijab and go to night clubs (Astaghfirullah!)
May Allah keep your faith strong sis, and grant you the tawfeeq to wear the niqaab as you wish to do so, my friend told me that if you have the intention to do something good, you're halway there!
Also, please don't let what other people write in their blogs affect you..It's probably just their personal opininon and doesn't represent what everyone else is thinking!
:w:
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snakelegs
10-07-2007, 10:09 PM
Originally Posted by Md Mashud
Its not really about how good of a muslim - rather wearing a hijaab is going through hardship in the modern world for sake of Allah. I can see that you are in a situation, but I too know of a guy who was in a similar situation. However, he did not hide his Islam from his family, who indeed threatened, even ripped up Quran/ Prayer mat. But he stood strong. Sometimes, everything is worth giving up for the sake of Allah. Hijaab is not to show off your a good muslim, but it is an obligatory part of Islam - so not wearing it is somewhat inexcusable. The harder the situation to do so, the bigger the reward, don't forget that sisters. Life is, only a test :)...
i think in view of this:
Anyhoo, The reason that I dont wear hijab is because I am at serious risk of being made homeless by my parents, if they find out that Im Muslim, which would then put me at risk of starvation and rape.
she should not be judged. we are talking about preservation of life and personal safety here.
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'Abd-al Latif
10-07-2007, 10:19 PM
Maybe I shouldn't say anything...but instead of speaking from my own words, inshAllah I will paste some hadith and ayaat from al-Quran, maybe inshAllah it will inspire and motivate the sisters to realise why sometimes brothers or sisters might come out with such comments, it might be due to the love they have for the religion of Allah and for their brothers and sisters that they say harsh speeches out of frustration...its better to forgive inshAllah;

“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
[al-Ahzaab 33:59]



Al-Haafiz ibn Katheer said in his Tafseer:

This means that they should not display any part of their adornment to non-mahrams, apart from that which it is impossible to conceal. Ibn Mas’ood said: such as the cloak and robe, i.e., what the women of the Arabs used to wear, an outer garment which covered whatever the woman was wearing, except for whatever appeared from beneath the outer garment. There is no sin on a woman with regard to this because it is impossible to conceal it.

“And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance” [al-Ahzaab 33:33]. It is also supported by the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three, do not ask me about them: a man who leaves the jamaa’ah, disobeys his leader and dies disobedient; a female or male slave who runs away then dies; and a woman whose husband is absent and left her with everything she needs, and after he left she made a wanton display of herself. Do not ask about them.”

(Narrated by al-Haakim, 1/119; Ahmad, 6/19; from the hadeeth of Faddaalah bint ‘Ubayd. Its isnaad is saheeh and it is in al-Adab al-Mufrad).

Taken from islamQA;

The purpose of clothing is to prevent fitnah (temptation), and this can only be achieved if clothes are wide and loose. Tight clothes, even if they conceal the colour of the skin, still describe the size and shape of the body or part of it, and create a vivid image in the minds of men. The corruption or invitation to corruption that is inherent in that is quite obvious. So the clothes must be wide.

Usaamah ibn Zayd said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave me a thick Egyptian garment that was one of the gifts given to him by Duhyat al-Kalbi, and I gave it to my wife to wear. He said, ‘Why do I not see you wearing that Egyptian garment?’ I said, ‘I gave it to my wife to wear.’ He said, ‘Tell her to wear a gown underneath it, for I am afraid that it may describe the size of her bones.’” (Narrated by al-Diyaa’ al-Maqdisi in al-Ahaadeeth al-Mukhtaarah, 1/442, and by Ahmad and al-Bayhaqi, with a hasan isnaad).
This last one scares me, but I think its important that you know this now other then when its too late;

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “During the last days of my ummah there will be women who are clothed but naked, with something on their heads like the humps of camels. Curse them, for they are cursed.” Another hadeeth adds: “They will not enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.”

(Narrated by Muslim from the report of Abu Hurayrah).
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al-muslimah
10-07-2007, 10:55 PM
Asalamu Alaykum,
I am very sorry for your situation and I hope Allah helps you and you don't need to rely on your parents even if you wore hijab and they found out and kicked you out,so what?! Allah is the one who you need to put your trust in and he will take care of you through many ways.
Anyways I agree the sisters who were hijab are better than the ones who don't wear it even if those sisters are bad because they are at least following the order of the hijab but I can understand your situation but please try to wear hijab. I don't understand how you can pray but not wear hijab! Have hope in Allah he will help you.I myself wear hijab and niqab because they are obligatory and I really don't care when people look at me like I am some sort of freak.Good, I am a freak for Allah!!!!!!!
Wa bi tawfiqillah.
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muthenna
10-07-2007, 10:57 PM
Selam Alaykum, good post nomadicsoul;
About the sister, id say:
In her opinion "...a sista with out a hijab is just a wanabe that doesnt accept or is ashamed/embaressd of their islamic identity.
the best sistaz are the ones with hijab".
-yes there are muslim sisters that are ashamed to wear hijab, there are different reasons why .
-yes we judge by outside appearance, we dont know peoples heart, if I see as male a sister with hijab and one without hijab, what am i going to think, later i might know their ideas and background
What I do not understand is how many people forget that a Muslim is not better than another Muslim (or anyone else for that matter) except in piety and good deeds.
-Hijab is a good did, its fard (obligation), meaning all the time you are without cover (hijab) you are in sin (ithm); So between someone that wears hijab and one sister that doesnt wear hijab , we assume that the one wearing hijab is more pious, thats normal reaction
While I agree that a headcovering is obligatory, I do not believe that all women who wear hijab (or even sometimes, niqab) are pious or particularly nice people.
-I agree
How then can they be the best kind of sister?
This attitude is precisely what drives people away from Islam.
-Where are we suppose to look as muslims for marriage, one with hijab or one without, without knowing is she good or no internally ?!
They consider it a shame to have sex with Asian Muslim women before marriage, and think that these women must be superior (if they are muslim women) by virtue of having cloth on their heads,and by being Asian/Muslim, no matter how religionless these women may be, and so they just go for the "white meat".
-Well yes they are right not to have sex before marriage, they say its shame, we say its HARAM, I agree that what they do with english women is HARAM, BUT your argument is misplaced; it sounds as though youre not happy they dont sleep with muslim sisters before niqah, (this disturbs me; may ALLAH reform us all)
and yes they are right (if they think that) that you muslim sisters are superior because of your religion, not looks;
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snakelegs
10-08-2007, 12:57 AM
i think some here do not realize what it is like to be say, 16 year old girl, living on the streets. i know what it is like because i've done it.
also, i know 2 reverts, one from denmark and one from holland, whose (christian) parents throught them out on the streets when they became muslims, so it does indeed happen.
please stop passing judgment on her! :offended: :raging: (i love this last emocion and i don't get to use it nearly enough.)
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Intisar
10-08-2007, 01:24 AM
:salamext: Thanaa,

I found that comment particularly vile. Wearing the hijaab does not ensure piety or good adhab. I have been wearing the hijaab since I was around 10, and my parents have never forced me to put one on! I also plan on wearing a niqaab when I am married insh'Allah, but that doesn't make me any better than the next Muslimah without a hijab on. If you're just wearing the hijaab and you have no adhaab, then it just becomes a piece of cloth on your head. Subhan'Allah! It's not only an outer veil, but an inner veil too meant to make women modest.

Those type of comments and judgements drive people away from the deen. :( Coming from a longtime hijaabi, I can say that there are so many other people better than me out there and with each passing day I try harder and harder and beg that Allah make me steadfast in my deen. There are plenty of girls out there who just wear the hijaab because their friends wear it, fear of being ostracized, their parents force them etc.

Perhaps people don't know the way to encourage their Muslim sisters to wear the hijaab in such harsh tones will make them run away from the religion, and that's why speaking softly when giving Dawah is always encouraged (even required). Though this did not come off as Dawah to me, rather condescending and putting all hijabied sisters on a higher pedestal than ones uncovered (subhanallah!). Personally, I do not find any logic in being steadfast in your deen yet not following a simple commandment of Allah Azza Wa Jaal - at the end of the day Allah is the ultimate judge. Overall, wearing a veil or hijab does not equate to piety or being better than someone who doesn't wear one. Allah knows everyone's intentions and whats in our hearts so I say leave it to Allah.

:)

:wasalamex

Sister Ameena
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