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jimbo123
10-14-2007, 05:22 PM
Salaams,

I have questions that I have not seen answers of in the Quran or any hadiths. I wonder if anyone can help.

1) A friend (John) asks you to meet up with him for lunch, event or something like that. You don't want to go but at the same time you don't want to offend John, how do you refuse the invitation?

2) Secondly let's say it's the exact same situation except it's so you could avoid John? How do you refuse the invitation without insulting him?

3) Islam encourages us to have good friends. But what if your friend changes over time (in a bad way) and there is nothing you could do about it, instead he starts to influence you. What is the best way to break ties with that person?

Finally, please show me any hadiths relating to matters of friendship.

Salaams.
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Protected_Diamond
10-14-2007, 05:32 PM
Explain to your friend that you want to protect your emaam and that means hanging around with people who practise their faith - Insha' Allah 'John ' will understand.
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jimbo123
10-14-2007, 05:38 PM
That answers the 3rd question.

Think of them all as completely different situations i.e. in 1 and 2... I just didn't want to go, it didn't seriously conflict with my emaam. But there must be some kind of manners for this 'trivial' situation.
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Protected_Diamond
10-14-2007, 05:42 PM
Maybe if you just explain the basics of our deen he'll understand?
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jimbo123
10-14-2007, 05:56 PM
hmmm I'm still not sure you follow. Islam teaches all kinds of things down to basic etiquettes of how you should treat guests that eat in your house e.g. you have to eat slowly so that they don't feel uncomfortable eating on their own. I'm not sure how talking about deen would help in questions 1 and 2?

Let's see if this helps...

Situation 1
John: Hey Jim do you want to go for lunch in that place?
Jim: (I really don't, but I don't want to offend, what should I tell him?)

Situation 2
John: Hey Jim do you want to meet up sometime?
Jim: (I really don't, I don't want to offend yet I don't want to lie, what should I tell him?)

These are very trivial situations but since they happen to me a lot I wanted to know the best way to deal with it.
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Pk_#2
10-14-2007, 06:04 PM
'listen yeah i'm in a real hurry i been so busy lately i got this that and the other to do so if ya dont mind i gotta go so chat later byeeeeeeee'

^ That's what you say, real fast without breathing in between.

AsalamuAlaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh, ;D (mind you i am NOT kidding)
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aamirsaab
10-14-2007, 06:06 PM
:sl:
Just say 'I'm a bit busy' or 'Not today, mate'. Say something atleast. I do that with my friends, whom are quite understanding about it.
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Kittygyal
10-14-2007, 06:12 PM
Salamualikum..

How can one refuse an invitation?, I ask for the invitations Lol.. :X


In a good manner say 'I sincerly apologise but im really busy' Or just simply say 'John i can't go today as i have lots of things to do and maybe another day, i hope you don't mind.. (Maybe a handshake will do the job at end and SMILE)

Ma'assalama
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Pk_#2
10-14-2007, 06:24 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Kittygyal
Salamualikum..

How can one refuse an invitation?, I ask for the invitations Lol.. :X


In a good manner say 'I sincerly apologise but im really busy' Or just simply say 'John i can't go today as i have lots of things to do and maybe another day, i hope you don't mind.. (Maybe a handshake will do the job at end and SMILE)

Ma'assalama
And NO you still can't come round, @ J'DIE

By the way @ threadstarter, all freinds should be understanding, you don't need to lie, just tell the truth, say it like it is, all the best.
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Kittygyal
10-14-2007, 06:29 PM
[QUOTE=Umma Wasat;842388]And NO you still can't come round, @ J'DIE.[QUOTE]

:sl:

Hopes all well sister :)

Yes im going to come and will do so no worries.

Anywho threadstarted like sister Umma Wassat said no need to lie, just be straight up dude.. face it don't be soft on ya blad be strong.. anywho if not i don't know.


All best mate!

Ma'assalama
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jimbo123
10-14-2007, 06:33 PM
Thanks for the advice guys
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Muezzin
10-15-2007, 08:28 AM
Slap him with a fish. He'll get the idea.

I'm joking, of course.

Fish are nowhere near as effective as bananas.
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