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saalim ali
10-19-2007, 05:08 PM
Asalamu Alaikum...my name is saalim ali, i am 17 yrs old and currently in my last year of college. I thought i wud join dis site as i can learn a lot more about islam and seek advice whenever i wish.

The problem which i wud lyk to raise is of depression. I have recentley felt very depressed over the last couple of months and i know this is unhealthy in islam, i worry that i may become an anti-depressant.

My depression is over many things in life such as my studies, family, work, the future etc etc. i sometimes even wake up in the morning feeling depressed without even understanding why.

I wud be very grateful if someone cud get back to me maybe and explain why im feeling like this and how i can overcome this situation.

Thank You

:w:
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aamirsaab
10-19-2007, 05:16 PM
:sl:
What is the main cause of your depression, may I ask? It would be helpful if you could give a little more elaboration. That is, of course if you want a solution.
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Whatsthepoint
10-19-2007, 08:35 PM
Find a therapist!
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Karina
10-19-2007, 08:47 PM
I'm sorry, I cannot offer you support as a fellow-Muslim, but I can offer you support as a fellow human being.

I have been diagnosed with mild depression in the past and we could all sit here and argue about the cause and cure from here to eternity but the main thing that you can do is seek the support and understanding of other people.

Some are not so understanding and will tell you to pull yourself together.

However, don't despair, you are not the only one feeling like this and the best advice I can offer is that YOU WILL NOT FEEL LIKE THIS FOREVER - you will feel better, you just need to talk, find the source of your unhappiness, for example is it stress related? Talk to others and look at yourself to find out why you feel down.

You may not even know why you have these feelings but if you can TALK to someone, as well talking to Allah, a friend, brother or sister, or even if you see a councillor (there's no shame in seeking help).

Just remember, you're not alone.

:smile:
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sadia faisal
11-23-2007, 04:24 PM
True, talking to people helps ALOT!!

I was also extremely depressed in sum similar situations as you, like college (i'm in first year) especially family and also marriage, i talked to my close friends and also a councillor and it helped me alot.

If you keep things inside to yourself it will make things worse, as they will become the only things that you can think about.

Like they say, a problem shared is a problem halved!
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The Ruler
11-23-2007, 04:31 PM
Originally Posted by Salam4life
Like they say, a problem shared is a problem halved!
I believe otherwise. A problem shared is a chance for gossip. Laa dii daa... Cheh.

I seem to think that the only way to deal with depression is to get rid of it's causes which brings us back to:

Originally Posted by aamirsaab
What is the main cause of your depression, may I ask? It would be helpful if you could give a little more elaboration. That is, of course if you want a solution.
Reply

AhlaamBella
11-23-2007, 08:19 PM
Originally Posted by Salam4life
If you keep things inside to yourself it will make things worse, as they will become the only things that you can think about.

Like they say, a problem shared is a problem halved!
But sometimes telling people makes it worse if they react the wrong way (like someone I know :()
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Re.TiReD
11-23-2007, 08:25 PM
:salamext: I think its true that a problem shared is a problem halved, the important part if finding the right person to tell Insha'Allah. If not then start writing a journal, that way you have a clear record of how you're feeling and you may be able to see a theme emerging between the way you're feeling and the things going on in your life. You'll then be one step closer to helping yourself :) A journal is also a good way to get rid of confusion...if you're confused about life in general; putting your thoughts onto paper can ease the mind a little and unscramble your thoughts.

I think we have all felt a little down once in a while...remember that 'withoubt doubt, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest' (Ar-Ra'd) So Insha'Allah try to immerse yourself in the dhikr of Allah :) :w:
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noorahmad
11-23-2007, 08:31 PM
assalam walaikum, i believe that to avoid gossip, u need to talk to someone who u really trust, and who can help u.
the solution lies within Islam, be steady in swalaat, have faith in Allah, ask lot of du'a.
dua when trajedy strikes
Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raaji'oon,Allahumma ojurni fee museebati wa akhlif li khairan minha
We are from Allah and unto him we return. Oh Allah take me from this plight and bring after it somethin better.

Muslim.2/632
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chacha_jalebi
11-23-2007, 08:33 PM
everyone gets depressed bro, you have to work out the cause of the depression, if you can change it.

also remember Allah (swt) would never do bad to us, so whatever you feel its all from Allah (swt) be patient and be dutifull to him inshallah he will sort you out

also dont be depressed life is shor, imagine when your a old man and you look back at your young age, then you think "when i was a teenager i was depressed for a week/month" and your gona be thinkin, what a waste, so jump about,smile and live life, b happy :D

1,2,3 :D thats all it is, look in the mirror and smile and you will feel better lol

anyway heres a dua ...

Allaahumma 'innee 'abduka, ibnu 'abdika, ibnu 'amatika, naasiyatee biyadika, maadhin fiyya hukmuka, 'adlun fiyya qadhaa'uka, 'as'aluka bikulli ismin huwa laka, sammayta bihi nafsaka, 'aw 'anzaltahu fee kitaabika, 'aw 'allamtahu 'ahadan min khalqika, 'awista'tharta bihi fee 'ilmil-ghaybi 'indaka, 'an taj'alal-Qur'aana rabee'a qalbee, wa noora sadree, wa jalaa'a huznee, wa thahaaba hammee .

O Allah, I am Your slave and the son of Your male slave and the son of your female slave . My forehead is in Your Hand (i.e. you have control over me) . Your Judgment upon me is assured and Your Decree concerning me is just . I ask You by every Name that You have named Yourself with , revealed in Your Book , taught any one of Your creation or kept unto Yourself in the knowledge of the unseen that is with You , to make the Qur'an the spring of my heart, and the light of my chest, the banisher of my sadness and the reliever of my distress
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Grace Seeker
11-25-2007, 06:40 AM
Originally Posted by saalim ali
Asalamu Alaikum...my name is saalim ali, i am 17 yrs old and currently in my last year of college. I thought i wud join dis site as i can learn a lot more about islam and seek advice whenever i wish.

The problem which i wud lyk to raise is of depression. I have recentley felt very depressed over the last couple of months and i know this is unhealthy in islam, i worry that i may become an anti-depressant.

My depression is over many things in life such as my studies, family, work, the future etc etc. i sometimes even wake up in the morning feeling depressed without even understanding why.

I wud be very grateful if someone cud get back to me maybe and explain why im feeling like this and how i can overcome this situation.

Thank You

:w:
Ali,

No matter how strong the the camel, if you put enough straw on its back it will eventually not be able to carry it -- hence the sayings, "the last straw" and "the straw that broke the camels back".

It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life. It is not unusual for college students to suffer depression for no other reason than the many stresses that they experience in life, especially if these are new sources of stress that they have not experienced before. I can also tell you that even good experiences bring stress. One cannot go through life without some types of stress, nor would you probably want to. But there does come a limit, and that limit is different for each one of us.

If your depression is rather mild, then completing a term paper, getting through finals, just taking a few hours off to spend with friends will probably give you enough relief to make it go away till the next time things build up. If it is a little stronger, then having a good friend that you can talk to about these things (provided they aren't the type to suggest you do something stupid) may be all you need. But, if you find that this depression lasts more than 2-3 weeks, disturbs your ability to sleep or eat, or has you thinking of doing any sort of harm to yourself, I seriously suggest that you talk to a professional about it. Start with just your local general physician. He can give you a quick check up to make sure that it isn't anything that might have an organic or physical cause. And if that doens't help, then he can also refer you to a competent therapist (or you may have one assocaited with your school) who can help you work through some of these issues. Serious depression is nothing to take lightly. Any competent therapist can treat you while respecting your Islamic faith, just share how that is an important part of your self-idenity with him. And depending on your location, he might even be able to refer you to an Islamic therapist if you so desired.
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Kittygyal
11-25-2007, 12:34 PM
Salamualikum!!

I have recentley felt very depressed
Ditto.

Ma'assalama
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Grace Seeker
11-26-2007, 03:27 PM
Dear Friends (Ali, Kittygal, and others),

DSM-IV is the abbreviated name of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (currently in its fourth edition). This manual is published by the American Psychiatric Association and is revised from time-to-time. The DSM-IV is the official set of diagnostic criteria for mental disorders in the United States, and the categories generally correspond to the international categories used in the International Classification of Disease published by the World Health Organization.

Depression can be caused by almost anything. Each person's depressive event will be different from any one else's, and even unique from others they themselves may have experienced. Nearly all people will experience a certain amount of depression during their lifetime brought on by everything from the death of a loved one (including pets) to the birth of a baby. Triggers for depression don't have to be life changing events. I experienced a sudden slap of depression this past weekend when all of our extended family was over at our house, everyone was in a good mood, my life was going well, but the cacophony of sound produced by 18 people just suddenly overwhelmed me. Others must face it annual as an internal response to less exposure to the sun during the winter at higher latitudes.

As depression is probably more common than the common cold, one has to be careful not to attach stigma to it. Most people will weather it for a few days to a few weeks, and then move on just fine, with hardly even the memory of the event. But as the common cold if not taken care of can hang on or, worse, become deadly pneumonia in some patients, so to one must take care to not make light of depressive episodes in people's lives telling them to simply get over it. For even a simple "fit of depression" can have serious and long lasting effects if not handled well.

One of the most common forms of depression is what is known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder. A disorder characterized by generalized and persistent free-floating anxiety (anxiety not restricted to any particular event or circumstance). The symptoms are variable, and can include muscule tension, continuous feelings of nervousness, trembling, sweating, lightheadedness, dizziness, palpitations, and gastro-instetinal discomfort. A variety of worries are often expressed, including the worry that the sufferer or a relative will have an accident or become ill. Sleep disturbance is common. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is more common in women than men. One factor in its development appears to be chronic stress. Its course varies, but tends to be fluctuating and chronic.

Another common form of depression is simply called Major Depression. Major depressive disorder consists of one or more major depressive episodes each of which lasts at least 2 weeks. The most prominent symptoms of major depressive disorder are depressed mood and loss of interest or pleasure. Patients also tend to have other symptoms, but these vary from person-to-person. Insomnia and weight loss often accompany major depression, but depressed patients may also gain weight and sleep excessively.

Major depression encompasses disorders that were once conceptualized separately. A form sometimes called melancholia, is most common among older adults people, as are depressions characterized by psychotic features such as delusions and hallucinations. Anxiety symptoms such as panic attacks, phobias, and obsessions also often found mixed with depressive symptoms, making diagnosis an inexact art at times. Untreated major depressive episodes often last about 9 months. Approximately 85% of persons with major depression will get better within 2 years of the first episode, but at least 50 percent of depressions will recur, and after three or more episodes the odds of recurrence within 3 years increases to around 75% if the patient has not had preventive treatment. The risk of suicide makes it important to treat major depression.

Either of these above type of depression can present themselves in severe or low-grade forms. As a pastor I deal with people on a regular basis who are combatting depression. Most are able to find help simply by talking it out. For some it is resolved just that simply. Others need to identify the source of their depression and do some digging to resolve issues they may have buried or be unconscioulsy cling to in their lives. Many have religious issues and attitudes toward God, or concerns with regard to how well/poorly they are living their lives, certain levels of expectations they have for themselves or significant others in their lives, worries with regard to the influence of the devil (Shaytaan) or their ability/inability to please God that are among the issues they have to deal with.

As I already expressed, each person is unique. And finding out what is going on is often quite involved. The good news, is that most people don't need professional therapy. They just need to learn to be a bit more senstive to the events transpiring in their lives, to treat themselves well (the way they eat, the sleep they get, and the pressure they put on themselves to perform). Exercise is perhaps the best therapy, even better than talking to a friend. Though many who get depressed find that if they have a number of healthy relationships (have to emphasize that word healthy) and people that they regularly interact with that this serves as a good preventative tool. But, if you realized that you are depressed. If you find yourself not functioning well. And if going for a run or out to dinner with a friend does not resolve the issue, and especially if this has lasted longer than a couple of week, please see someone. Start with a pastor, iman, or other religious person if you prefer, but remember that we are not generally trained to help people with true clinical depression. For that, you probably need to see a proessional therapist. Your religious leader or your medical doctor should both be able to provide you with direction in that regard. But you do need to get help. Most people can be "cured" by just talking to a friend. But for those for whom it is more serious in nature, it sometimes takes a considerable amount of therapy. Find someone who is trained and skilled in this, be sure it is someone you can be comfortable with, and then go.
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Grace Seeker
11-26-2007, 03:42 PM
And, because my last post was such a heavy post, and a potential downer to some, let me add this just to lighten things up a bit:



John went to a psychiatrist: "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears."

"How much do you charge?" John asked warily.

"Each visit is $150," replied the doctor.

"Well, I'll sleep on it."

Six months later the doctor bumped into John on the street: "Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?"

"Well, one hundred and fifty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A friend at work cured me for nothing. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought myself a new pickup!"

"Is that so?! And how, may I ask, did your friend cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
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tigersabre
11-27-2007, 05:03 PM
Originally Posted by saalim ali
Asalamu Alaikum...my name is saalim ali, i am 17 yrs old and currently in my last year of college. I thought i wud join dis site as i can learn a lot more about islam and seek advice whenever i wish.

The problem which i wud lyk to raise is of depression. I have recentley felt very depressed over the last couple of months and i know this is unhealthy in islam, i worry that i may become an anti-depressant.

My depression is over many things in life such as my studies, family, work, the future etc etc. i sometimes even wake up in the morning feeling depressed without even understanding why.

I wud be very grateful if someone cud get back to me maybe and explain why im feeling like this and how i can overcome this situation.

Thank You

:w:
The high school years are pretty tough. It's a lot of pressure to deal with - everyone's riding your back about what school you'll get into, so your GPA and grades are on your head, and people keep telling you that if you don't score high, then you'll get into a bad college, and then you'll have a poor life.

Then you look around your peers, and there's a clique system in place designed to pidgeonhole you into one corner or another of the school. Everyone is dating, and you've got no love for yourself since you can't date. And there may be other dramas.

The upshot of all this - none of it really matters =) Take a moment to step out of your own mind, and travel like you're traveling down a time line back to yourself when you were first depressed. Look down at yourself, at that event, and look at how you got through that, and where you are now. There was probably a lesson to be learned, you learned it, and you moved on.

This time will also pass, insha'Allah. The past is for lessons, so reflect on those lessons, but don't relive the pain. The past doesn't determine your future - you do, so figure out the future you want to live, and start figuring out how to live that future. It can be bright and happy, you just have to figure out what you want and chase after it after that, insha'Allah.
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tigersabre
11-27-2007, 05:04 PM
Oh, and most importantly - if you're not praying your prayers on time, and keeping a good relationship with Allah subhaana wa ta'aala, then yeah, you're not going to make it through high school without depression.
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chosen
11-27-2007, 07:30 PM
it is a very difficult time for you..in your final year of school..it is the time when your childhood is leaving and adulthood is comming upon you..many people are confused at this time..they dont know what is expected of them..they are sad to leave childhood behind and a little afraid of the responsibility of being an adult..THIS IS ALL NORMAL..just relax and take stock in your life and remember to thank god every day for all the good things in your life..
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Kittygyal
11-27-2007, 09:30 PM
Originally Posted by Grace Seeker
Dear Friends (Ali, Kittygal, and others),
Will keep that in mind, thankz!
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Ghira
11-27-2007, 09:50 PM
You are in last year of college and your 17...you should be really happy about that...

I found two things in my life that get seriously put me in depressive state.
I agree with science and the decrease in seratonin (hormone) in the brain but what is the cause of this....

1) Spirtually if I do my 5 obligatory prayers and my actions in daily life are opposite of what I say in prayers, then I feel really depressed. I feel like I am worthless.

2) Simply counting your blessings is another way to fight depression. As Prophet (saw) said "Do not look at people who have more than you, instead look at people who have less than you."
In Islam gratitude is so essential that ingratitude is linked to being kafir. I try to be really grateful and realize how much my Creator has given me. The main gift is my deen, Islam.
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aminahjaan
12-02-2007, 02:54 AM
depression is a state of mind, and look at you, you're so luck you're in your last year of college and your 17! you're pretty smart to be that young and in college. Look at what God has given you and be happy, depression gets to you and eats your mind once you think you have it, but in my opinion it's all in your head. So be optimistic about life :) hope this helps
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