/* */

PDA

View Full Version : Would you raise your children diffrently



DaNgErOuS MiNdS
10-23-2007, 11:35 AM
from how you were raised as a child by your parents or do it exactly the same as your parents did to bring you up??

What would you change?? for the parents what did you change if anyhting in raising your kids?
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
Kittygyal
10-23-2007, 11:40 AM
Salamualikum.

Nope, i wouldn't spoon feed them till there so called 'age'. Wouldn't give them that much love because they get spoilt easily.There's time for fun and time for seriousness. As i get grounded thats whats going to happen to future kids!

Change the rules!.. Nowadays kids that are soo young think there all that but hey at times they don't know who's there mom and who's there pa!

^Yes im nasty and strikt with little kids. Thats me ha.

Ma'assalama
Reply

sevgi
10-23-2007, 11:41 AM
:sl:

intresting thread.

No way would i ever raise my children the way that my parents raised, and continue to 'raise' me.

i'll keel the details to myself.

but, i dnt think that it is possible to raise ur children the same as our parents did...i mean, nature, culture, society, media...its all against us.

peace.
Reply

aamirsaab
10-23-2007, 12:03 PM
:sl:
My parents raised an awesome child: me. So I will most likely adopt their teaching methods and add my own - what I will add will vary on the situation and or child/ren. My children will be Elite Pakistanis. Inshallah.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
sevgi
10-23-2007, 12:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by aamirsaab
:sl:
My parents raised an awesome child: me. So I will most likely adopt their teaching methods and add my own - what I will add will vary on the situation and or child/ren. My children will be Elite Pakistanis. Inshallah.
cough cough..

elite pakistani forum moderators....

cough

;D
Reply

'Abd al-Baari
10-23-2007, 12:08 PM
:sl:

Most people would still consider me a child but i'll answer anyways :D

Simply put, no i wouldn't raise my children (If i have any, Inshallah) the way my parents raised me and my siblings.

I think that i'd have to be slightly stricter, i mean my parents are great :) but i think they've been to laid-back, for some this is a good thing but in the long-run it just makes it harder

^;D^
Reply

Caller الداعي
10-23-2007, 12:21 PM
:sl:
i think that ppl should read up on bringing up children before they have em....
i mean islam teaches us all aspects of life and this is one of them...a good book is tuhftul mawlood by imam ibn qayum... remember kids are what u make them...
Reply

tomtomsmom
10-23-2007, 01:31 PM
For me there isn't a simple answer. My answer is yes and no. All parents make mistakes. But at the same time there is at least one thing they did right. It takes a lot of thought and reflection to see what each one is from your childhood. So I try very hard to strike a balance between the two. I take the good and bad that I learned from my parents and learn from both to try and make myself a better parent and give my son a better life then I had.
Reply

Mysterious Uk
10-23-2007, 01:51 PM
I would treat the kids like my parents reagrding love and care but i think the discipline would be different because when i was little and naughty i usually got a smack lol
Reply

*KB*
10-23-2007, 01:57 PM
Assalamualaykum

I would raise my children up how my mother did. My reason for this choice is that many people say that i am a good muslim (because thank Allah i am religious) and these days muslim children are not. I am good and religious because my mother taught me Islam since i was young and this is all down to my mother who brought me up along with my other brothers an sister singlehanded because my father passed away when i was only 4 and my little brother 2. So in honour of my mother I would raise my children up like she did. (Maybe a touch stricter lol:) )

Assalamualaykum
*KB*
:coolious:
Reply

Kittygyal
10-23-2007, 03:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by <Abdullah>
I think that i'd have to be slightly stricter, i mean my parents are great :) but i think they've been to laid-back, for some this is a good thing but in the long-run it just makes it harder

^;D^
:sl:

LOL!! ahaha!!!

sowiee just had to chuff on that one excuse me *dirty cough*

Maybe it's time for some 'grounding' then i guess Ha? :uuh:
Listen Abdullah your parents love you and your siblings thats why they been 'laid-back' because they want to do whats best for you and your homies.. maybe i should report and tell 'em to do it the harder way

GROUNDING ALERT!!
NO MORE CANDIES
NO MORE OUTISDE/PLAYING
NO MORE COMPUTER

^ thats 'laid back ha?'

lol :offended:
Reply

'Abd al-Baari
10-23-2007, 03:48 PM
:sl:

what i meant is that they have given me a lot of freedom..as in like they haven't forced anything on me...my parents are very religous so me and my siblings have picked this up automatically Alhamdulillah but for some people they parents will make them do what they say and when they say it :)

Hope you understand what i mean :X
Reply

Kittygyal
10-23-2007, 03:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by <Abdullah>
:sl:

what i meant is that they have given me a lot of freedom..as in like they haven't forced anything on me...my parents are very religous so me and my siblings have picked this up automatically Alhamdulillah but for some people they parents will make them do what they say and when they say it :)

Hope you understand what i mean :X
:sl:

Had to read that three times to understand what ya meant man :embarrass. Subhan'Allaah, im proud of you bro.. It's good to see the true muslims. *RESPECT*
Nowadays people don't know who there 'rents are.. :cry: it's terrible.

It's a good thing that whoever them children are they do what there 'rents say.. nowadays people don't even listen to there own homies!

STRIKT TO CHILDREN IS NEEDED AND THE RULES LIKE 'GROUNDING'! :coolious:

Is it true that Gujrati's are strikt and down to earth? :X
Reply

rozeena
10-23-2007, 04:00 PM
i think i wud like to be more stricter as my parents r veri laid bak n nt dat. bt apart 4rm dt der cool reali!
Reply

Al-Zaara
10-23-2007, 04:12 PM
Selam aleykum,


I've thought about those questions a long time. I wouldn't change much. They raised me up, and I'm a pretty good result if I may say so myself. Elhamdulillah. :D

I think I'd be a bit more open to speak about the girl-&-boy things :embarrass, inshaAllah. I kinda learned all I know at school, and my parents never brought it up and it is like "the taboo" thing in our home, to speak about feelings, thoughts about marriage, sex etc. I would want to be able to discuss like marriage with my father and about love with my mother... Or vice versa. You know. But, it doesn't work that way for us. Hehe.

After proposals and other things, that are signaling to my parents that I ain't a child no more, my parents still go all "Shhh, she could hear you! She won't understand" behind my back... :rolleyes: lol. Cute, innit. That's parents for ya.


For me this is definitely something I'd want to do better if I have children, inshaAllah.
Reply

cute123
05-27-2008, 11:40 AM
For me my parents are the best, the very thing that i feel is, apart from the raising, the amount our parents sacrficed for us - i dont think we would be able to. keeping that point apart, I would be very strict with my children (inshallah). Instill Islam in them since childhood, get them closer to ALLAH (SWT) and our Prophet sallalaho alaihi wassalam ,and not leave upto them to decide upon their own. like he will understand when he grows up, no - a strong no to music, tv, colddrinks and yes unislamic outfits. May allah help us to raise our children in the most islamic way.
Reply

Tilmeez
05-27-2008, 11:53 AM
^^LOL This reminds me of a famous quote:

Before marriage i had six throries how to bring up children. Now I have six children and no more theories!
:phew:phew
Reply

Ibn Abi Ahmed
05-27-2008, 12:18 PM
:sl:

Ali ibn Abi Talib said: "Raise your children differently from the way you were raised, as they will live in different times."

Don't know the source or authenticity as I heard it in a khutbah, but it is a wise saying nonetheless. Allaahu Alam.
Reply

cute123
05-27-2008, 12:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abu Sayyad
:sl:

Ali ibn Abi Talib said: "Raise your children differently from the way you were raised, as they will live in different times."

Don't know the source or authenticity as I heard it in a khutbah, but it is a wise saying nonetheless. Allaahu Alam.
thats really a gr8 saying.
Reply

Intisar
05-27-2008, 08:16 PM
:w: I'd be less lenient. My parents have a very authoritative/permissive style of parenting where they show love, care, warmth and support, but at the same time I feel like they give me a little too much freedom. I'd also enforce more rules in the household and make the home a little more deen-oriented inshaaAllaah. This is not to suggest though that my home isn't that way, I'd just want to increase it in my own family inshaaAllaah.
Reply

MaiCarInMtl
05-28-2008, 06:07 PM
In some ways I would, in other ways I wouldn't, but considering I was raised by a single mom as of the age of 6 (that's when my parents divorced), I think ym mom did the best she could.

I'd like to keep the open conversations my mother and I had (I could ask her anything and not feel embarrassed or bad - a lot of my friends couldn't get over the fact that my mother and I were so open with each other).

But I would be stricter on certain things (no dating, no alcohol) but considering my culture, I cannot hold it against my mother. I would also like my kids to grow to have a relatinship of somekind with God. I was raised Catholic but never practiced (I guess I tehcnically celebrate but I don't care about the holidays anymore, I just go to them because I get to see my family).

Basically, I'd be a bit stricter and I'd be more active in my kids' lives. I always felt like I missed out on a bit of my childhood because I spent a lot of time alone and had to look out for myself and do a large part of the housework by the age of 10. I appreciate having learnt these things, but I felt like I never really had a mother past that age.

Oh, and I would cook for my kids all the time! I envy people who get invited over to their parents' places and get home cooked meals all the time.
Reply

Ninth_Scribe
05-29-2008, 04:39 PM
I could probably top this in that, it isn't a question of whether or not I would raise my kids the way my parents raised me. In truth I think there's an enormous amount of doubt in parenting within my own generation. For instance, if you ask me if I would have raised my kids differently - I would answer YES! In fact, if you asked anyone if they would have lived their lives differently, I'm sure a lot of them would answer YES. They would say: If I only knew then what I know now. It's a nasty reality.

Thus, the wisdom of my great grand-mother: You do what you know.... until you know better.

The Ninth Scribe
Reply

cute123
05-31-2008, 06:03 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ninth_Scribe
Thus, the wisdom of my great grand-mother: You do what you know.... until you know better.

The Ninth Scribe
That was too goood and so true
Reply

sevgi
06-01-2008, 09:48 AM
i just have one thing to say which was inspired by the qoute above..about bringing ur children up differnly and they will be in a different time.

most of us are children of migrant parents. we are in a diffrent world to them no matter what. we are going to change the way we raise our kids...inevitable.

eg)

i currently live in australia. very multicultural country.
i want to marry someone from a culture besides my own.
my father wud rather die.i guess.
me? who cares...a muslim is a muslim.
i will allow my kids to marry wateva culture they like.


get me?
Reply

DaNgErOuS MiNdS
06-02-2008, 11:58 AM
yep, makes sense.
Reply

SouLda_Gal
06-05-2008, 10:33 AM
no matter how i raise ma children... BUT i dam thing is 4 sure that DUUUUUUMMMMBBBBBBBBB culture is gona stay outa their n ma lyf.... its sooo annoying.. i mean kum on beleivin in stupid superstitious tings... erggggg ... hey i tink im beta off wid not startin lol... peace out
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-02-2011, 11:56 AM
  2. Replies: 18
    Last Post: 12-26-2008, 10:24 AM
  3. Replies: 21
    Last Post: 10-29-2008, 11:25 PM
  4. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-22-2007, 05:25 AM
  5. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-26-2007, 11:40 AM
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!