plz help me (urgent)

[AnonymousPoster]

asalam u alaikum

i will using open language to state clearly what my probelm is so if some one feels offenced i m extremely sorry.

i am 22 years old and currently am a bachlear student of business administration .
the story begans that i was brought up in rural area with very bad people n the sorroundings.
i had many bad friends so i did many bad things with them which i havent considererd before that seriously.
homosexuality is really prevailing here and most of the bad guys are involved in it .
when i was 15-16 me and my freind did some thing that i have realized now and i ....cannot explain how am i feeling now..
we got naked and did unethical actions we didnt did zina but we kissed each other and we did actions for sexual pleasure.
i had forgotten every thing and was leading a comfortable life still now.
now i have realized that what have idone , ......i bowed down to Allah almighty and wept for my forgiveness and then i got satisfied that i had done that in ignorance and inshAllah Allah would have forgiven me.
but now threre is anothter and much serious probelm , it may not seem much serious to some people.
Allah would have forgiven me but i cannot forgive myself , that how come i did such disrespectful thing , am i prostitute , my conscience haunts me every single second ,:heated:.
i tell myself that human is weak creature and it will commit mistakes but it doesnt mean that one should get tied to a single point.
but that doesnt seem to help me.

i consider men who do the homo thing are the worst people .( anyone knowing urdu should help me out what is beghairat in english ).
i ask myself that did ur friend did sexual things with u , i reply yes . so i am that worst person that beghairst person. its a logical ans, i cannot hide from the truth ....i am ..........
what should i do? should i shoot myself ?, should i run away .?
i have become a burden on my family , i sleep 24 hours a day , no activity what so ever. i am gettng weaker and weaker , my family is extrmely sad , my mother weeps .....
i understand every thing , but i cannot face the truth. in order to avoid it i just sleep , i dont feel sleepy at all but i pretend and force fully sleep in a locked room. i have left my education.

i have visited a pshychiatrist at least four times , religious scholars but that is not helping me at all.

shuld i kill myself , shuld i run away , what should ido plz help me..........

( i live in nwfp of pakistan. i am a pathan . i just cannot bear the blot of beghairatness .i would consider myself betterof dead rarther than ...........)
Allah hafiz

[Al-Zaara]

Thread approved.

[Umm Hurairah]

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

Whatever you do please please please please please please please please please please please please don't kill yourself!

Make tons and tons of duaa and prayer.

Help your mother in the kitchen, if you have brothers or sisters, help them with their homework or anything else you can help them in.

Your mother still cares about you a lot! You shouldn't let her cry.

"And we will surely test you with some fear, hunger and shortages of property, people and produce. But give good tidings to the steadfast. Those who, when a calamity befalls them say: "We belong to Allah and to Him we return." Upon these are prayers from their Lord and mercy and these are the rightly-guided ones."
Al-Baqarah: 155-157

The Prophet (S) said:

"There is no hardship which afflicts a Muslim but that Allah expiates with it some sin of his - even a thorn which pricks him."
Muslim and Bukhari



The Prophet (S) said:

"How amazing is the affair of the believer! Everything which happens is good for him. And that is for no one except the believer. When he encounters good times and ease, he gives thanks and that is good for him and if he encounters hardship he is steadfast and that is good for him."
Muslim

[AnonymousPoster]

bro..u need to look into the future....

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[shible]

The best way to go on further is to leave the country and go somewhere else for a job Offer.

Since the change of place will help you forget old memories and new environment will teach you more about the real worth of Life.

This will also heal u Psychologically u'r woud in u'r mind as well u'r heart..

Insha Allah

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

just remember that u were dumb and young.Allah knows that.

you made a mistake...which was barely ur fault.

you will not be held accountable for what you did not know.you didnt know then!!!

if it makes you feel any better, the same sort of thing happened to me. it wasnt homosexual...but worse. i was urged upon by my own brother.i didnt do anything, but still.

did he hurt me much? no.he wasnt that dumb.

but i am scarrd for life.and i cant forget.but it wasnt my fault.i was so young and wasnt really aware that what had happened was a bad thing.

Allah knows my inside and my intentions.i am clear on that.i must preserve my patience for the future and the present instead of wasting it on the past.patience is limited.

ur actions will inshallah be forgiven.u are a clean man now.u have repented.

go take gusl and pray...and open a new page for ur life.one which u and noone else will be ashamed of.

:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

naudhubillah, make taubah and hope 4 jannah... bro you'll be a true loser if you lose sight of jannah

IT DONT MATTA HOW DEEP YOU GO IN SIN OR HOW BAD "PEOPLE" THINK YOU ARE!

as mu'mins we should keep hoping for jannah... ALWAYS !!!

[sevgi]

^^^

i think his problem is that he is having trouble forgiving himself...

:peace:

[Woodrow]

You do not have the right to judge anyone, not even yourself. There is only one Judge who can judge with perfection. You do not have the right to assume you know as much. Only Allaah(swt) judges perfectly. Do not even think about placing your self in the position of thinking you are an equal Judge.

All of this talk about what you should do to punish yourself comes from arrogance, as it means you are placing yourself into thinking you know what is best.

You do not need to please any person, not even yourself. Seek first to do what is pleasing to Allaah(swt) and all else will go in accordance as it should. Only Allaah(swt) needs to know of your sins, only Allaah(swt) needs to know your sincerity to repent. Do Du'a with all sincerity of repentence, beg for forgiveness, and set all of this behind you. Allaah(swt) will never ask you to take on any burden you can not handle, Ask Him to guide you to find the strength to turn this time of doubt and confusion into a time of sincerity and look for a genuine means to show repentance, perhaps by facing up to these inner feelings of guilt and sincerly placing your trust in Allaah(swt)

[snakelegs]

i just want to say that what you have done is something that many teenagers explore. it does not necessarily mean that they are homosexual or permanently stained.
you think what you have done is much much worse than it actually was. as a muslim, you know that God is merciful. it is one of his main attributes.
ask him to help you forive yourself.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

i have visited a pshychiatrist at least four times , religious scholars but that is not helping me at all.

thats because your're not helping yourself, so how do you expect others will help you, when you do not help yourself. sorry, thats not meant to come across as insensitive.

i ask myself that did ur friend did sexual things with u , i reply yes . so i am that worst person that beghairst person.

perhaps you should stop asking yourself such things. you know what you did. dont keep on bringing it up with yourself. think about the consequences of reminding yourself of what you did. no offence, but im pretty sure you'll go insane, possibly suicidal. trade those thoughts with something more positive. if you think its too hard, dont think like that. i myself was trapped in almost unbearble thoughts. And allah gave me the stregth to change. so if that happened to me (and i was thinking about muuuuch worse things than you, not to mention that these thoughts had become an establishe habit-habits are hard to change, and im a weak person at heart) than it can happen to you.

shuld i kill myself , shuld i run away , what should ido plz help me..........

no, you absolutley should not! you have to learn that the past is the past. no tear, no regret will bring it back.
stop sepending you days and night in regret, because it will only eat up preciuos time. time you can spend in ibaadah. trade the time you regret with time to seek knowlegde, and getting closer to you lord.
Here's a good chapter from a book called 'You can be the happiest women in the world.' The chapter is called: "Keep busy with the present rather than the past or future."

What is the point in slapping your cheeks or rendering your garment in sorrow over somehthing you missed, or some calamity that befell you. what is the point in focusing your thoughts and feelings on some incident that has passed so as to increse your pain and make you fall apart. If it were possible to reach into the past and change its events which we did not like, and alter them the way we like then going back to the past would be essential. We would all rush to go and erase the things we regreted doing, and increse or share of good fortune. But that is impossible, so it is better for us to focus our efforts on what will help us get on with out lives, for that is our only means of compenstation. This is what the quran drew attention to after Uhud (a battle named after a mountain in Medina) when allah said to those who are weeping for the slain and regretting going out to the battle feild"

......قل لو كنتم في بيوتكم لبرز الذين كتب عليهم القتل الى مضاجعهم....

"...Say: 'Even if you had remained in your homes, those for whom death was decreed would certainly have gone forth to the place of their death (3:154).

this is a fatwa a dear friend sent to me a few moths ago.

Repentance and Rulings Regarding It (Shaykh Bin Baz - Rahimahullah)

Fatawa Islaamiyah Section:
Repentance and Rulings Regarding It pgs.243-245

Being Afraid That your Repentance Will Not Be Accepted

QUESTION:A person committed some act of disobedience and afterwards repented to Allah; however, he feels deep iniside himself that Allah will not forgive him. So what is your advice for him?

ANSWER: This is among the proofs of the severity of your fear of Allah Almighty and your reverence for His prohibitions, if Allah wills, you are doing what is right. Nevertheless, you should try to allay this fear, a fear that has no basis for it because it is from the Shaytan. He wants you to feel constricted and he wants you to be miserable. Know him by what he is - an unmitigated enemy. He hates to see you loving and doing what is good, so disobey him and abstain from what he orders you to do. Seek peace in your Lord and know that repentance is sufficient. Even if a sin is greater than all other sins, repentance to Allah Almighty is above it. There is no greater sin than Shirk, but even if a man who associates partners with Allah repents and turns back to Allah, He will forgive him.

So it is required of you to repent from what you have done and after repentance to cease these other matters. It is not required of you to listen to the whispering or to follow the enemy of Allah by this fear which has harmed you. But know that - thanks to Allah Almighty - you have succeeded a great success by repenting sincerely, as Allah Almighty says:

"And verily I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes and does righteous deeds, then follow the right way." Surah Ta Ha (20:82)

There is another verse of even greater purport, for it states that a person who, after sinning, repents, has faith, and does good deeds, Allah Almighty will transform his sins into good deeds, which means that He will put a good deed in the place of every bad o¬ne:

"And those who invoke not any other ilah (god) along with Allah, nor kill such life as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse - and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him o¬n the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; except those who repent and believe, and do righteous deeds, for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. " Surah Al-Furqan (25:68-70).

Allah Almighty informed us here that he transforms their bad deeds into good o¬nes because of their sincere repentance, their faith, and their good deeds. So you, by pondering over your sins which are an offence to Him, and by your repentance from that and your following that with what you do of righteous deeds and faith and conviction, hoping in the rewards with Allah Almighty, then you are exchanging your evil deeds for good. This is the same with all of the evil which the servant repents from and follows up with faith and righteous deeds, Allah exchanges them for good, out of His grace and beneficence, glorious is He the Almighty.

Shaykh Abdul Aziz Ibn Baz {Rahimahullah}

and lastley, know that people have done much worse things than you, yet they spend their days and nights in blindness from not repenting.
:sl:

[islamic]

i am 22 years old and currently am a bachlear student of business administration .

That is good, student on business administration, good, good. 22 years old, still young.

when i was 15-16 me and my freind did some thing that i have realized now and i ....cannot explain how am i feeling now..
we got naked and did unethical actions we didnt did zina but we kissed each other and we did actions for sexual pleasure.

15 years old, you were still a child and your hormones were working wild. The Devil over comes you, you were ignorant.

what should i do? should i shoot myself ?, should i run away .?
i have become a burden on my family , i sleep 24 hours a day , no activity what so ever. i am gettng weaker and weaker , my family is extrmely sad , my mother weeps .....
i understand every thing , but i cannot face the truth. in order to avoid it i just sleep , i dont feel sleepy at all but i pretend and force fully sleep in a locked room. i have left my education.

To shoot yourself? What you want to do? To go to Allah with another problem? You asked him to forgive that what have you done on your 15, now you want to make suicide and to bring yourself another problem, problem that will be FOREVER yours in the afterlife? no shooting, no suicide!
Sleeping all day? left the education? :confused:
Hm, what about performing 5 times prayer? What about Salah? what about xhumma? what about Fasting? what about things that are FARDH? start doing those things, Allah will forgive you, you will forgive yourself and you will be happy with yourself for realizing that you was wrong and for becoming better.

shuld i kill myself , shuld i run away , what should ido plz help me..........

no run away, no killing yourself, try to practice Islam and improve yourself. Let Qur'an and Hadith be your LIFE and guidance. And who can guide better except Allah?

:w:

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext: forgive yourself...thats the first step, we're humans- we're flawed by nature and no matter what we're always going to make mistakes...but what matters most is what we do about them, weather we go back to the haram thing or weather we repent and sta away from it.

Akhee, once you've realised you've done something so bad that cannot be rectified, you feel as though you're sinking, as if you'll never see the light...but pray to Allah suhanahu wa ta'aala, and your heart will find it's peace. Ask for forgiveness and you'll feel better Insha'Allah. Get yourself a change of surroundings...All the best :w:

[S_87]

:sl:

you could run away... youll run for a few days then regret it.

you could kill yourself. youll just lose out both in this world and the hereafter

you could sit and think of your actions, open a new leaf, you could change and become a happier person at peace with themself.

the choice is yours, theres the right decision thats not necessarily the easiest so dont think shooting and running away is an easy way out, infact it will be the beginning of more problems.

and always remember to have patience, surely Allah is with those who are patient