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AnonymousPoster
11-04-2007, 07:03 PM
ok ive stopped doing this bad habit and well ive stopped doing it for a long time... but the craving and urge is coming back.... i cant do anything about it! its driving me crazy! i cant get married coz im so young!

i need urgent help!!!
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Re.TiReD
11-04-2007, 07:41 PM
:salamext: maybe if you could elaborate we may be able to help you Insha'Allah :)
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snakelegs
11-04-2007, 07:55 PM
when you get the urge and these thoughts start coming in to your head, drown them out with dhikr. you can replace the thoughts this way.
keep in mind, as a healthy young person, these urges are quite natural.
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AnonymousPoster
11-04-2007, 08:14 PM
well they involve the oppisote gender if u kno wat i mean.. i.e watching bad stuff :S
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snakelegs
11-04-2007, 08:19 PM
the same - when you start thinking about watching bad stuff, replace the thoughts with dhikr.
although there are physical reasons for these urges, a lot is also thought and thoughts are like tapes, they can be pre-empted by other thoughts and this is where the dhikr comes in. so next time you think, "hmmm...maybe i'll just......" - replace it.
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Re.TiReD
11-04-2007, 08:27 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
well they involve the oppisote gender if u kno wat i mean.. i.e watching bad stuff :S
:salamext: snakelegs gave some pretty good advice, apart from that i'd advise you to look at the consequences of your actions, the pleasure may be temporary but Allah's displeasure and the punishment may be greater. As looking at pictures on strange men/women is haram in Islam.

I cannot advise further as I cannot relate to your problem, maybe you could make wudhu and pray 2 raka'ah of nafl evrytime you get these urges?
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11-13-2007, 01:53 PM
:salamext:

If it's a habit, ur gonna have to try and stop it. You won't be able to straight away, but try fasting to help reduce these urges. Find out what kind of food increases the sexual drives and reduce your intake of them.

I pray Allaah swt help you stop this habit, Ameen.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-13-2007, 02:16 PM
assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah

ive never commented on this before but i may aswell now.

most people dont realise how easy it is to stop these kinda things, lemme tell you how to keep it under control and PUT THIS INTO PRACTISE:

1. stay away from ANY games/movies/girls/places which have poorly dressed women, just AVOID it!

2. Go pray in the masjid five times a day, JUST GO, the walk itself will burn you out

3. Fast every otherday till you got it under control!

4. Seek refuge in Allaah and ask for his mercy and forgiveness and help!


5. DO ALL OF THE ABOVE ASAP AND KEEP IT CONSISTENT!!!!






hope that helps :)

ASsalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah
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11-13-2007, 02:19 PM
:salamext:

Good advice bro, Mashaa Allaah
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*~Sofia~*
11-13-2007, 04:28 PM
Salams,

The members have given some reallly gud advice, the only things that I can add are:

1. Always keep in the company of good ppl

2. Always remember that Allah(sw) is watchin everything you do.

3. Always member that u have company..the angels beside you.

4. Just do LOTS of du'a

Hope this helps inshallah :)

W'salam
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ashley66
11-14-2007, 01:14 AM
:sl:
MasyaAllah, those are good advice esp listed by IbnAbdulHakim and Sofia. Can also be used in other circumstances eg stress and gloom. I would say fasting is really good for control of mind, anger stress and sadness.

I pray Allaah swt help you stop this habit, Ameen
:w:
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Abdul-Raouf
11-19-2007, 11:21 AM



Think about this....

What will happen if u die at that moment immediately...
It will be a worst situation for u die at that moment....
becoz after u died u cant
repent...
for wat u have been doin a that moment.


Death may come at anytime....just think about death....
you wont indulge in any bad acts.




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Pk_#2
11-19-2007, 12:01 PM
Try and do all the good advice ^^ above for 40 consecutive days, it should then become a habit, a good one inshaAllah. All the best,

May Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) help you and guide you and forgive you and the ummah ameen. (say Ameen)

I hope you find a pious spouse, inshaAllah.
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Jayda
11-19-2007, 02:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
ok ive stopped doing this bad habit and well ive stopped doing it for a long time... but the craving and urge is coming back.... i cant do anything about it! its driving me crazy! i cant get married coz im so young!

i need urgent help!!!
hola,

i am not certain if you have heard of this but there is something called 'internet addiction' and viewing the kind of material you are talking about is a major part of it. there is also something called sex addiction. it is something to take serious and you may struggle with it for the rest of your life... it is reinforced because of the release of euphoric brain chemicals when you engage in the activities associated with viewing pornographic material. this is a normal process because biologically we are supposed to want and desire sex. unfortunately when you do this while viewing pornography you are creating a psychological connection between the release of these brain chemicals and viewing pornography which changes your drive from seeking sex (in a marital setting) to seeking pornography. there are also feelings of shame and guilt associated with this that drive you into further isolation which purpetuates what is happening.

you should ask God for strength, download programs like netnanny and then create a password you cannot remember. if this does not work then you must cut your internet connection. do not be afraid to talk to somebody, like a religious leader or a school guidance counsellor. they will not judge you or shame you for what is happening, as they will understand it is compulsive and you are trying to stop. you need somebody to talk to or an ally in helping you to stop, that way they can pull you out of feelings of isolation which perpetuate what is happening. make a serious effort to be more social.

it would not be wise to think about marriage as an escape... marriages are based upon love, respect and more than anything maturity and preparedness. sex is very important but it should not be the reason for marriage. nor would it solve the problem for you.

it is very difficult for young people today, sex is everywhere, peer pressure at school and from society makes (especially men) feel lesser if they choose to wait until marriage and not get sucked into the sex culture. not only this, but it is so easy to get in some form or another... internet pornography is as simple as a google search and the only boundary is how far your imagination and lust can take you. sometimes you do not even search for it and you find it... watching television today is a testament to this.

the odds are stacked against you but with God, a trustworthy person, restored personal and social confidence, and the tools that are out there for controlling pornography you will be okay :)

i'll pray for you
que Dios te bendiga
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