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zeshkani
11-05-2007, 05:12 AM
salam

i just need some help with this, its so confusing. anyway well its time for me to get married and there is girl that i like and she does too, iam a good muslim alhamdulliah, but the parents of the girl they call them selfs muslims, but their so weak in religion, they drink and eat prok thats what i heard from a friend and i did see them drink, but if i would get married with her inshallha i will teach her and increase her knowlodge about islam, and another think is that her parents a very nice, they are good people just with a bad habit. so my friend told me that i maybe should look the other way and look for another wife, but the thing is that i like her and she does too, and i feel good with her, but here is the main thing, she already told her parents that she loves me and i love her and her parents already know me and my family and they already approved of me, but i still need my parents go to and ask for her hand, but here is the question. should i marry her even tho her parents are like that, or should i just look for another wife ? its just so confusing i really dont know what to do, i feel happy that her parents approved of me, but on the other hand i thing iam doing a mistake any comments are welcome, because i need to make my descision very soon

salam
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Muslim Woman
11-05-2007, 09:38 AM
:sl:

what about the girl....is she a practising Muslimah ??? If yes , then offer Ishthekhara prayer & then take the decision.


If she is like her parents.....drink & eat pork....then u must not marry her till she leaves these haram things.

Take ur time ...don't hurry . Ask help from Allah to bless u with a pious wife.
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ummzayd
11-05-2007, 10:06 AM
assalamu alaikum

when you say you like her, what do you mean? you are attracted to her physically? or do you like her because she is a good practising Muslimah? If it's only physical then you really need to think twice, and especially don't rely on being able to 'teach' her about Islam.

Keep in mind that this woman would be raising your children and teaching them about Islam - do you feel happy and confident about this? She needs to be spiritually strong herself if she is going to go against her parents haram ways and also she will need to be very firm with her parents when it comes to them influencing their grandchildren - your children!

As the sister said, do istiskhara insha'Allah.

:w:
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-05-2007, 10:13 AM
love b4 marriage always equals :uuh:



assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah

im going to say to you what i say to everyone in your situation, you know what the right thing is and THEN you also know what you desire to do. You know both very well, so whats my advice>?

DO THE RIGHT THING!

Surely Allah rewards with something better those who sacrifice sincerely for his sake..
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jouju
11-05-2007, 10:29 AM
well its tough knowin dat her parents have accepted you
First, is your friend trustworthy? Try to confirm wat u r told before u come to a conclusion
IS your wife a good practisin mslim...if not thlnk twice!!REMEMBER, she's going to be the mother of ur children n charty begins at hom.......wat do u want of ur children?
Think carefully before making a decision coz its going to really affect ur future life...n pray istikhara alot u nid His guidance in this issue

Am praying for you
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islamic
11-05-2007, 09:51 PM
Originally Posted by zeshkani
iam a good muslim alhamdulliah, but the parents of the girl they call them selfs muslims, but their so weak in religion, they drink and eat prok thats what i heard from a friend and i did see them drink, but if i would get married with her inshallha i will teach her and increase her knowlodge about islam
:sl: brother zeshkani. From your user name I suppose you know to speak Albanian language, and your connected with Albanian people, maybe your nationality is Albanian. If you want to talk in that language, you can send me PM and we can talk about your problem.
For now, let me tell you that if you ask the parents of the girl you like: "Are you good Muslims", I think they will say: "Yes we are".
Now, we ALL say for ourself : "I am good Muslim" but I think we should ask our selfs HOW GOOD WE are. Brother, did you know that according to Islam there is no hanging around in way of Girlfriend and Boyfriend, kissing around and doing some other ... things?
I recommend you to increase your knowledge about Islam, to practice Islam, and because you will not get married with the parents of the girl but with her, you should talk to her seriously about do and don't in Islam. You should advice her that she must NOT drink alcohol, she must NOT eat pork, she must NOT go out without hijab (with uncovered hair) .. etc. IF she accept all those things (for real) and you are sure that she has accepted them for real, I think is OK to marry her. In other way, it will be like you are getting married with a Christian or Jewish girl, and for that there are some other rules in Islam.
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zeshkani
11-05-2007, 11:58 PM
salam alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh
(this is for the albanian speaking person, since i cant send pm yet)

si jeni aje mire

po per at pune, te une ne familje na krejt me islam jemi tu shku, tu fal edhe kshtu, po familje e saj qikes edhe ata jan musliman po ata alcohol po pin edhe qushtu, po njerz shume mire jan, po shume pak per islam ata edin, edhe une perpara ekam fol me at qiken, e tash ardh koha me u marthu, edhe aja veq ika dhane families qe aja me don edhe une e du, po tash une nuk di se qka te boj, se tash une du me qu mbsit, po nuk di se qka te boj a me mar a jo ? qyshtu ekam punt, edhe aj qik nuk din shume per islam, po une me marthu me ata inshallha une kisha msu ata per islam, po ne familja tem une edi ne ftyr edhe ata skan marak une me marr at qiken, po tash qka me bo ?

Salam
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Al-Zaara
11-07-2007, 05:14 PM
Originally Posted by zeshkani
salam alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh
(this is for the albanian speaking person, since i cant send pm yet)

si jeni aje mire

po per at pune, te une ne familje na krejt me islam jemi tu shku, tu fal edhe kshtu, po familje e saj qikes edhe ata jan musliman po ata alcohol po pin edhe qushtu, po njerz shume mire jan, po shume pak per islam ata edin, edhe une perpara ekam fol me at qiken, e tash ardh koha me u marthu, edhe aja veq ika dhane families qe aja me don edhe une e du, po tash une nuk di se qka te boj, se tash une du me qu mbsit, po nuk di se qka te boj a me mar a jo ? qyshtu ekam punt, edhe aj qik nuk din shume per islam, po une me marthu me ata inshallha une kisha msu ata per islam, po ne familja tem une edi ne ftyr edhe ata skan marak une me marr at qiken, po tash qka me bo ?

Salam
Aleykum selam wa rahmetallahu wa barakathu,

Aidin qka, ski qka bon, mas pari nuk pe marton familjen e qikes. Ti pe marton qiken. Edhe nese ajo qika don me msu per feen islame edhe te don edhe eshte gati mu martu, edhe skeni tjeter problem... Valla me te thone te drejten besoj qe mundet me shku mire, inshaAllah. Nese jan ata njerz te mire kshtu, nuk ja bojn te keqen tjerve po vetem po bojn do harame, Allahu inshaAllah i ndimon, po ti duhesh me kqyr kit qiken qe pe marton inshaAllah. Sesht aq fshtir mi thone dikujt mos me pi alkohol ose mos me hanger thi, po eshte fshtir me ndryshu dikon qe sbeson edhe nuk tutet prej Zotit.

InshaAllah te ndreqet krejt.
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Umm Hurairah
11-07-2007, 05:26 PM
Asalaaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

Narrated Abu Hurairah (RA):

"The Prophet (SA) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers."

Bukhari
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Al-arabi
11-07-2007, 05:42 PM
I know its not easy to do that but even if she is like her parents..
-if u love her - that means that u want the best for her then teach her the right . and go do what u want to do and put alot of faith in ur heart that god won't let u down cuz u think first in islam then in any thing else , I'm sure god won't let u down . all good hopes 4 u .....
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