i feel complex about my self

[anonymous]

Salaam ,
i a marreid 19 year lady my problem is that sometimes i feel soo much complex ...i feel complex that i not good at any thing ...not a good cook , not a good home manager ,not a responsible spouse ,daugher ,...i have no confidence in me ...really !!!i feel soo much disappointed ......
and one thing ...i care about people's mood soo much that i have lost my self some where ......people are never satisfied ...........every one have their complains ...even i do the best from myself but ...

[youngsister]

:sl:
hEy sIS :)
I am so sorry to hear what you going through, you are only 19 I know people that been married for years and years and still sometime struggle with managing their homes.

Is actually normal nobody is perfect no matter how hard they try all you can do is your best and start believing in yourself if you tell yourself you are not good at something and give up it will only get worse.

You still young Masha Allah, you got plently of time to learn and what you going through is natural especially if you recently got married.

SiSTER just make dua and relax dont be so hard on yourself, if you feel you are not a good cook start learning, practise makes perfect.

Things will isha allah get better and everything will fall into place ishaallah:)
:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

Salaam ,
i a marreid 19 year lady my problem is that sometimes i feel soo much complex ...i feel complex that i not good at any thing ...not a good cook , not a good home manager ,not a responsible spouse ,daugher ,...i have no confidence in me ...really !!!i feel soo much disappointed ......
and one thing ...i care about people's mood soo much that i have lost my self some where ......people are never satisfied ...........every one have their complains ...even i do the best from myself but ...

Sister,

Just be sincere in your efforts and pray to Allah. Try your best, that's the most anyone can do.

All the prophets (peace be upon them) went through tough times. It's like a film. Everything will be all right in the end... if Allah is on your side. And if everything isn't alright then that means you haven't reached the end of your film. Film is still playing!

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Take the time to learn how to do those things, clear out your mind inshallah. Breathe! We suffocate our ownselves.

If you need to learn how to cook, call up a friend or something, ask them how to do a certain meal, and keep practicing. No one is perfect on their first try, but with practice you get better and better, and you'll even able to tweek it up so it fits the needs of others.

If you yourself feel that you're not responsible or a good daughter, etc. then you're the only one that can fix it because its something you see in yourself.

Just make sure you do things with the right intentions, and I'm sure you are inshallah. If you need any help, me or any other will be MORE than happy to help you inshallah! Just take it a step at a time.

fi aman allah
w'salaam

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[sinner??]

aslam u alakum

dear sister..

i willl just say one thing that if u cant do something. ...just feel confident and

firmly decide in ur heart that if some one else can do it then i can do it.

work on this formula. start with name of Allah Almighty and start ur effort from this very moment..

and inshAllah every normal thing will be soved out.

[Jayda]

Salaam ,
i a marreid 19 year lady my problem is that sometimes i feel soo much complex ...i feel complex that i not good at any thing ...not a good cook , not a good home manager ,not a responsible spouse ,daugher ,...i have no confidence in me ...really !!!i feel soo much disappointed ......
and one thing ...i care about people's mood soo much that i have lost my self some where ......people are never satisfied ...........every one have their complains ...even i do the best from myself but ...

hola,

i think your problem is all wrapped up in confidence... if we try to do anything, no matter how talented we are, without confidence then we will not do our best which will only hurt our confidence. it is important to break the cycle by accepting you have limitations, but admitting to yourself you have strengths... and then just be yourself without being affected by other peoples perceptions (or what you think are their perceptions) of you.

talk to your husband :) tell him that you do not feel confident and that you want to be better at these things. he is there to support you and he loves you, when times are down he is supposed to hold you up. if you share your feelings with him he will be more careful to compliment you on the strengths in yourself you take for granted, and he will support you in the areas you wish to expand upon :)

que Dios te bendiga

[Grace Seeker]

It is OK not to be perfect. Of course you want to do your best, but if you make perfection the standard and you see anything less than that as unsatisfactory, you are always going to be coming up short and never able to be happy with yourself. Allow yourself some slack and a little room for improvement. And ask others to give you that same slack too. Often it takes time to grow into our roles in married life. This is true both for you and your husband.

[anonymous]

:sl:
jizakallah u all for help.........
actually what happens , me myself try to be best ...but people always discourage what make me unconfident...
especially my mother in law ...she always praising herself ...i can feel what she means...i try to be very well in all matters ...dealing them ...managing home and all ...but she never satisfied ...and she tells my father in law and my husband that she does not know anything...poor in all things ...her mother taught her nothing .......i feel that i m very poor practically ...

[Grace Seeker]

I once read a book called My Irregular Person. This was written by a very kind and loving woman who helped many people in her life. She was a famous writer and speaker and people would pay thousands of dollars for her to address a group because she always had such good advice that benefited so many. What hardly anyone knew, was that her personal life was in turmoil. Not because of anything she had done, but because since she was a little child she had never been able to please her father, and though now she was an adult with children of her own, she still felt his disapproval in everything she did. Thousands loved her, but that one voice kept her from ever feeling worth anything.

Well, what she eventually learned, and I hope you can learn faster than she did, is that all of us have irregular people in our life. They are irregular like a piece of clothing that wasn't quite woven right, has a misprint on it, or something else that makes it imperfect itself. But because they are in our life we try to put them on, and they look like they ought to fit, we admire them, we want to include them, but they don't quite fit right. There is just something irregular about them. But because we love them, or seek to please them, or for whatever reason it is that they are in our life, even though they are the ones that are a little off, they tend to make us feel like there is something wrong with us.

Sometimes our need for their approval is so great we say and do things that are even personally destructive: "Gee, Mom, you knitted me a three-armed sweater. Now I feel bad that I only have two." That sounds ridiculous, but that is just how crazy some of the games these irregular people play with us, to the point that we feel that there is something wrong with us if we can't please them. Sometimes we just have to realize that we can't please them, quit trying, and just do the best we can to do what we know is right and let them deal with the rest of it themselves. Try as I might, I will never grow that third arm. My mom might be unhappy that I never wear the sweater she made me, but the reality is that if she sees me as imperfect because of it, that is her choice, not mine. I can choose to see myself however I desire to see myself, and that is my choice, not hers.