Don't know what to do

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

My sister has been going out with a guy for about 6 years now. At first they were madly in love and they were cute together, but as time moved on, my sister did too. She doesn't love him anymore, but he still loves her. She has tried to break up with him, but always ends up with him again.
It's just like routine for her, she doesn't want to do it, but she does.
He is a really nice guy, he will never hurt her and will always love her. The thing is he is a non-muslim.

He says he will revert, but only to keep my sister off his back. One time when they broke up, he said that he should have reverted and that his one chance is gone.
But when they got back, it's back to his old ways and they don't talk about getting married or reversion.

He says he will revert for her, but he doesn't mean it and I don't know why.

My mother wants my sister to get married soon and wants to look for a guy for her, but my sister doesnt accept any proposals as she is with her b/f.

My mother accidenty found out about my sisters b/f and many a times has told my sister to break up with him etc but she doesn't want to listen.imsad

I just don't know what to do. I am sure that if a nice muslim guy came along, my sister wouldn't mind getting married, but because she has a b/f who doesn't seem to go, she cant.

They are more like best friends rather than a couple.

I don't get why they are still together. and i think they still will be for a while to come.

I don't no what to do, i am so confused.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah

sis ur sis needs to end the haramness... perhaps try bring her into islaam? introduce her to lectures etc..

[Umm Hurairah]

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

I won't be much of a help but this is my opinion:

I think your sister should leave him for good and get married to someone else A.S.A.P.

If he wanted to revert/convert, he already would have but he wants to revert just so that she can marry him then he doesn't really care for the religion and he wouldn't exactly be called a "Muslim" cuz you can be Muslim by name any day but everything depends on your intention and Imaan.

Insha Allah your sister should either forget him or try to get him to become a Muslim by heart.

If he reverts/converts then Alhamdulillah, otherwise your sis is better without him Insha Allah.

Oh and if she can't seem to forget him then maybe you should take her to a Sheikh/Mufti/Scholar?

[Al-arabi]

people ...dating alone is not thing muslims do cuz its a way the desire to show up and how can u let ur sis stay with a guy only ???.....
I think dating with the un-muslim people way is unlawful .

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[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ brother dating at all, even intermingling too much unnecessarily before marriage is haram :)

[~Taalibah~]

Your sister should be made to leave him. It is haraam to have b/f's -g/f's. Explain to her her error and some adult male (he,r father/brother/uncle) should see that the guy stays away from her.
May Allah Ta'aala guide us all. Ameen.

[جوري]

Do you honestly think Anyone's opinion is going to change what your sister is doing? even at gun point?

I am sorry to say, I don't think there is anything that anyone can do.. counseling is all nice, but change has to be desired from within, not attained by proxy of anons...

My only advise is to make du3a.. I believe it along with reading Quran to be the only way Allah grants us escape from difficult situations...

waslaam 3lykoum wr wb

[omar_2133]

You do realize that for someone to be recongized as having reverted to Islam officially, then he must have conviction and sincerity in his heart.

If he is doing it just to be with your sister, then in my opinion, that is the most horrible thing you can do - exploiting someone else's religious beliefs for your own perosnal and emotional desires.

I would agree with the above points expressed, your sister shoudl just ditch this guy. Strictly speaking, she shouldn't be doing any of these things before she's married, as it will bring up all these emotional problems, and worst of all, disobey Allah's will.

Try to reason with her. She may view what you explain to her, as a series of "commands" and "orders", but stress it's for the better of her, psychologically and emotionally, and just one random guy in the world is nowhere even near the wrath of Allah.

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

Isn't there a mahram?

Six years is a long time, and a waste of time to be with someone who's not committed.

I agree with what sis Purey said. She has to feel humilated in front of Allah subhana wa ta'ala to actually stop completely and by herself.

Also,

At first they were madly in love and they were cute together, but as time moved on, my sister did too.

I'm not sure if that's your private opinion, but it makes it worse if she feels like encouraged or tempted. So if it is your personal opinion, keep it to yourself inshallah and don't let her in on it.

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

[NYCmuslim]

This is exactly why dating/pre-marital relationships are advised against in Islam. Problems like this can occur and they are very difficult to get out of. Your sister should increase her knowledge in Islam and understand the Islamic way of life better. May Allah give her guidance.