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IbnAbdulHakim
11-27-2007, 10:35 AM
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaah


Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose parents emphasised for him to get married. they had seen so many marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a little rediculous or suspected that he may have someone else in mind.



however everytime the parents left the girls house, the young man would always say 'she's not the one!'



the young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practicing. (which was hard to find). however one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was religious, and practicing.



on that evening, the young man, and girl, were left to talk, and ask each other questions. (as one would expect).



the young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask first.



the young girl asked the young man soooo many questions. she asked about his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habbits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his passtime, his experiences,.. lol. basically everything.



and the young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring, and politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time, over an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man do you have any questions?



the young man said,it's ok. i only have 3 questions...



the young girl thought, wow, only 3 questions okay, shoot.



The young man's first question was,

1) Who do you love the most in the world, someone who's love nothing would ever overcome?



she said, this is an easy question. my mother.

he smiled



second question, he asked

2) you said that you read allot of qur'an, could you tell me which surahs you know the meaning of?

hearing this she went red and embarrased and said,i do not know the meaning of any yet, but i am hoping to soon inshallah ive just been abit busy.



the third question the young man asked, was

3) i have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are allot more prettier than you, why should i marry you?



hearing this the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury, and said i do not want to marry this man he is insulting my beauty, and intelligence.



and the young man and his parents, were once again, left without an agreement of marriage.



this time, the young mans parents were really angry, and said what did you do to anger that girl, the family were so nice, and pleasant, and they were relgious like you wanted. what did you ask the girl?? tell us!



the young man said, firstly i asked her,

who do you love the most? she said, her mother,



the parents said so, what is wrong with that??



the young man said, 'no one, is muslim, untill he loves Allah, and his messenger(saw) more than anyone else in the world'



If a woman loves Allah and the prophet(pbuh) more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay faithfull to me, because of that love, and fear for Allah (swt). and we can share this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty.



The young man said, then i asked, you read allot of qur'an, can you tell me the meaning of any surah?



and she said no. because i havent had time yet.

so i thought of that hadith 'ALL humans, are dead except for those who have knowledge'



she has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek knowledge, why would i marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and responsibilities, and what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the woman IS the madrasa (school) and the best of teachers.



And a woman who has no time for Allah, will not have time for her husband.



The third question i asked her was, that allot of girls, more prettier than her, had approached me for marriage, why should i choose you?



that is why she stormed off, getting angry.



The young man's parents said that is a horrible thing to say, why would you do such a thing, we are going back there to apologise.



The young man said i said this on purpose, to test whether she could control her anger.



The prophet(saw) said 'do not get angry, do not get angry, do not angry' when asked how to become pious. because anger is from Satan.



if a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met, do you think she will be able to control it with her husband??





so, the moral of this story is, a marriage is based on,

knowledge, not looks,

practice, not preaching,

Forgiveness, not anger,

spiritual love, not lust.

and compromise



One should look for a person who

1) Has love for Allah (swt) and the messenger (saw)

2) Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.

3) can control her anger

and another important and crucial factor. that she be

4) willing to compromise.



and it goes both ways, so women seeking a man, should look for the same things.
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Ummu Sufyaan
11-27-2007, 10:44 AM
:sl:
the third question the young man asked, was

3) i have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are allot more prettier than you, why should i marry you?

hearing this the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury, and said i do not want to marry this man he is insulting my beauty, and intelligence.
everything i pretty much agree with. however, with the bolded part. hey, you came to me! which means you're interested in me. what you should have done is ask about me first. and it can be pretty insulting and intimidating to ask somehting like that. how else would one react when asked about a sensitive issue, such as thier looks.
EDIT: concerning the second point. i think this would only be seen in ones actoins. its really easy to say something. but if you truly love someone, then it would be manifested thorugh your actions. i personally would ask others if, for example performs extra prayers, his kindness towards others, etc.
:sl:
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11-27-2007, 10:50 AM
:salamext:

Wow Subhaan Allaah, great story, great morals great examples! I really liked it when the man explained his reasons to his parents in the end… Jazaak Allaah Khayr :D

May Allaah subhaan wa taa’la grant us all pious and practicing spouses that love Allaah subhaan wa taa’la more than anything else, and bring peace to our hearts! Ameen… (Say Ameen, even if ur married lol)
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MinAhlilHadeeth
11-27-2007, 03:16 PM
knowledge, not looks,
'Ilm and taqwah are very important, mashaAllah. But you should be attracted to the person you're getting married to as well. Sometimes unmarried people can be a bit naive, especially those who are pure and have never been in a relationship before. Looks is not the most important thing, but you shouldn't strip it of it's importance either. Lack of attraction can lead to a lot of problems later on in the marriage after the excitement period has passed.

And alhamdulillah, beauty is in the eye of the beholder - and this is from the Mercy of Allah.

My 2 cents.

:wasalamex
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ayesha309
11-27-2007, 03:34 PM
i believe, a person wil look beautfiul if he/she pracitices Islam becuase then Allah will place noor on their face and heart. and the noor is the best way to look beautiful.......
secondly, i'm curious, did this young prince get married?? ;D
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MinAhlilHadeeth
11-27-2007, 04:14 PM
i believe, a person wil look beautfiul if he/she pracitices Islam becuase then Allah will place noor on their face and heart. and the noor is the best way to look beautiful
Hence, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'.:)
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-27-2007, 04:19 PM
I also discourage people from marrying those who they do not find attractive, it will only be fitnah at a later time.


Allah knows best

Assalamu Alaikum
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11-28-2007, 02:13 PM
:salamext:

True say akhee, especially (in most circumstances) ur spouse is who you will see first thing in the morning....
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Tania
11-28-2007, 02:20 PM
I found very impolite to ask the third question. I would never accept a man which its so "impolite" because if he dares now to see himself like being from "gold" later in marriage he will eat my head with his precious nature.
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11-28-2007, 02:21 PM
:salamext:

LOL sis joka, but tru!
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Abida
11-28-2007, 02:53 PM
Really good story..
I admit i would go angry, but.. i hope ill learn to control inshAllah..
ps muj4h1d4, whats happening? why ure dissapointed:cry:
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