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qassy!
11-29-2007, 02:11 AM
Salam

In Islam are we allowed to have girl freinds?? Its nothing got up do with adultey or I will never it go that way. I just need to know as I want to change my life around and become a good muslim

Also if where not allowed can I ask why??

Thank you

Salam
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 12:58 PM
Please anyone

Jazza Kalah
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11-29-2007, 01:01 PM
:salamext:

Brother, it is not allowed.

Check this out Inshaa Allaah:

Ruling on Taking Girlfriends and Boyfriends
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 01:05 PM
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaah

no scholars in islaam allow girlfriends bro because theres always that chance of fornication/adultery etc. Islaam always teaches prevention before cure, we want to prevent the chance from occuring before it happens.

No risks, when you only have one chance why take the risk... right?!
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 01:07 PM
I will read that in a couple of mins

So say your looking for marriage how can you find the perfect girl ?

I mean im not looking for marriage yet im only 17. but I have a girlfriend, but we never do anything sexual so i thought it was ok?

god! ive got so much to learn about Islam!
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11-29-2007, 01:10 PM
:salamext:

1 step at a time Inshaa Allaah brother....
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 01:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
So say your looking for marriage how can you find the perfect girl ?
lol, "perfect girl", i think your question should be "is there a perfect girl". You know Allaah knows best, and his messenger sallallahi alaihi wasallaam has shown us the way... basically if you see a girl, and you like something about her, you find out about her and you think "yeah she seems sweet to me", then you approach your parents and try set something up. If your proposal is rejected, then know that the best also once got rejected, so dont feel bad , but doing it the haram way will take you AWAY from the mercy of ALlaah... and trust me... you dont want that..

I mean im not looking for marriage yet im only 17. but I have a girlfriend, but we never do anything sexual so i thought it was ok?

god! ive got so much to learn about Islam!
subhanAllaah, bro i really advise you to either marry that girl (if you love her and shes into islaam) or leave it... its not worth it trust me.


read up more on "love before islam" etc, trust me... you'll see the sickness shaytaan has infested this society with. i hope Allaah guides us all !


Assalamu Alaikum
Reply

qassy!
11-29-2007, 01:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaah

no scholars in islaam allow girlfriends bro because theres always that chance of fornication/adultery etc. Islaam always teaches prevention before cure, we want to prevent the chance from occuring before it happens.

No risks, when you only have one chance why take the risk... right?!
true
but say I can control my self?

format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
bro i really advise you to either marry that girl (if you love her and shes into islaam) or leave it... its not worth it trust me.

read up more on "love before islam" etc, trust me... you'll see the sickness shaytaan has infested this society with. i hope Allaah guides us all !


Assalamu Alaikum
bruvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Im not getting married yett!!! ! only 17!!!!
shes into islam she reads her namaz more then me!

im going to chat 2 her today saying we cant go out any more!

But can we still like go out? talk etc etc? ?

I mean is that ok? I mean as genral freinds? talk 2 girls/go out but just as freinds?

thanks alot you all are helping me out alot thanks!!
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11-29-2007, 01:19 PM
:salamext:

true
but say I can control my self?
Brother the Shaytaan is always there... you cannot be sure you will be able to control urself...

But can we still like go out? talk etc etc? ?

I mean is that ok? I mean as genral freinds? talk 2 girls/go out but just as freinds?
No brother, you cannot. Inshaa Allaah read the link I have provided, it gives answers to most questions you are asking.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 01:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
bruvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Im not getting married yett!!! ! only 17!!!!
i know bros who got married at that age, lol guess what, girls aint tempting them, their happy with their wifey's, and they studying at the same time. Marriage aint a burden, its not suppose to be, get a girl who loves Allaah and she'll be supportive of you and help you through. Instead of the headache and controlling of lusts etc, you'll have a wifey from a young age who'll help you maintain peace, hope that makes sense lol

shes into islam she reads her namaz more then me!
thats decent inshaAllah, may Allaah guide her more though lol

im going to chat 2 her today saying we cant go out any more!
mashaAllaah, after you do that, make a dua' to Allaah to grant you something better, because in a hadith our prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam said dat if you let go of something for the sake of Allaah, and then ASK Allah to replace it with something better, then inshaAllaah he will ! (thats kool innit :- D!!)

But can we still like go out? talk etc etc? ?

I mean is that ok? I mean as genral freinds? talk 2 girls/go out but just as freinds?

thanks alot you all are helping me out alot thanks!!
na lol, your not even suppose to stare at a girl bro, "lower your gaze" u kno, coz its from the "looking" that the love n feelings develop.

You know at work, i have two female colleagues and i think they respect me more then all the other menz here because whenever they talk to me i never look at them... its stuff like this which raises status and gets you closer to Allaah :)


ASsalamu Alaikum !!
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 01:23 PM
Im trying to read this:
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=1114&ln=eng

its so complicated its not in normal English!
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11-29-2007, 01:26 PM
:salamext:

Basically, summing the above up:

It is haraam (forbidden) for men to have any kind of friendship or relationship with non-mahram women (women to whom they are not closely-related and to whom they could get married).

The evil consequences and misery caused by such relationships are obvious to anyone who observes real life.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 01:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
Im trying to read this:
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=1114&ln=eng

its so complicated its not in normal English!
try listening to lectures, it might help you learn better.

islamic lectures are interesting/funny/helpful trust me bro i get addicted to them sometimes!

www.kalamullah.com <--- check out the lectures on this site


Assalamu Alaikum
Reply

qassy!
11-29-2007, 01:28 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
mashaAllaah, after you do that, make a dua' to Allaah to grant you something better, because in a hadith our prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam said dat if you let go of something for the sake of Allaah, and then ASK Allah to replace it with something better, then inshaAllaah he will ! (thats kool innit :- D!!)



na lol, your not even suppose to stare at a girl bro, "lower your gaze" u kno, coz its from the "looking" that the love n feelings develop.


ASsalamu Alaikum !!

Its not hard we been going out for 5 years! I cant break someone heart like that.....but it has to be done

man......so i cant even chat 2 a girl? its just the opsite gender?
I mean i chat 2 girls is that a crime?
Ok for example on the phone/text/msn??


But if I go out with a freinds and its a mixtures boys and n girls its a crime??

I mean what about cousins then, all of them are girls I go out with them, they dont where hijab is that a crime?

I mean I am 17 live in LONDON, and in my class there all girls how can I study and not talk 2 them ??

God im a confused!!!
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 01:32 PM
^ bro lol, i want you to read up on the afterlife. On heaven/hell/day of judgement/grave etc. After all that, giving up these lil things will seem sooo minor.

If you believe in the last day, then you know whats coming man, and nothings worth suffering that.


Anyway trust me, your emaan needs strengthening, and best way to do that is read up on the hereafter.

Try the books by ibn katheer on the hereafter!
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 01:33 PM
man i dont understand!! Why cant I chat 2 a girl? Whats so wrong? I mean errrr i think cant think!
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11-29-2007, 01:33 PM
:salamext:

Brother = BREATHE! Calm Down...

EDIT: Islam says that when u look at a girl, and u talk to them, the feelings for them increase. If your feelings increase u will want to go out, if u go out u will want to touch, if u touch u will want to do more, etc etc. Get me?

This is why you shouldn't talk to them if necessary, and keep your gaze lowered Inshaa Allaah
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 01:36 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
man i dont understand!! Why cant I chat 2 a girl? Whats so wrong? I mean errrr i think cant think!
how bout because it dont make Allaah happy.....


how would your wife feel if she knew u chattin to other guys... we as muslims should protect our chastity. And imagine if you had a wife.. how would you feel if you knew she likes other men... or flirts wiv em or...


subhanALlaah
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 01:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
how bout because it dont make Allaah happy.....


how would your wife feel if she knew u chattin to other guys... we as muslims should protect our chastity. And imagine if you had a wife.. how would you feel if you knew she likes other men... or flirts wiv em or...


subhanALlaah
but im not married! and thats diffrent
if im chatting 2 a girl doesnt mean nothing?

format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:

Brother = BREATHE! Calm Down...

EDIT: Islam says that when u look at a girl, and u talk to them, the feelings for them increase. If your feelings increase u will want to go out, if u go out u will want to touch, if u touch u will want to do more, etc etc. Get me?

This is why you shouldn't talk to them if necessary, and keep your gaze lowered Inshaa Allaah

I can control all that?
i understand what your saying but say i can control it

so when im in college sitting down and girl walks past i should look away? but then they come up 2 me and ill get a slap 4 blanking them!!
or
i mean

its so hard i go college live in london
and its mixture of boys n girls

also
i mean say my cousins all girls i chat 2 them but there cousins is that a crime?
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11-29-2007, 01:43 PM
:salamext:

I can control all that?
i understand what your saying but say i can control it

u think u can

so when im in college sitting down and girl walks past i should look away? but then they come up 2 me and ill get a slap 4 blanking them!! - reply back what they asked, but not more than that
or
i mean

its so hard i go college live in london
and its mixture of boys n girls - so? u dont have to talk to girls, u can talk to boys.

also
i mean say my cousins all girls i chat 2 them but there cousins is that a crime?
u r still a non-mehram to ur cuzzins, so u shud avoid talking unnecessarily...
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 01:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
but im not married! and thats diffrent
if im chatting 2 a girl doesnt mean nothing?
so your tellin me that if a girl your married to and love went around to guys and started joking around with them and having a laugh, visiting em treatin em like mates that your heart wouldnt feel anything?

be care of being a man from amonst the dayyuth


In one Hadeeth narrated by Hadhrat Ammaar Bin Yaasir . Rasulullah said: “A dayyuth (cuckold) will never enter jannah”.

The Sahabah asked “What is a dayyuth”? Rasulullah replied: “A man who does not care who visits his wife”

In terms of this saying of Rasulullah , it is extremely dishonourable and shameless for a husband to allow non-mahareem to visit, view or converse with his wife. Rasulullah described a virtuous wife as man’s most valuable treasure. A man of honour and decency cannot, therefore, allow this treasure to be misappropriated by the libertine culture inherited from the kuffar.
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 01:48 PM
Muj4h1d4 I really rate you, you know alot and your following inslam but i am not trying to contradict u or anyone
I just answers

So I cant talk 2 my cousins cuz there girls? ??
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 01:50 PM
and I know I can control my self I would NEVER touch a girl in that way its wrong.
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11-29-2007, 01:51 PM
:salamext:

So I cant talk 2 my cousins cuz there girls? ??
You can't talk to them unnecessarily, e.g. txting/talking on fone/emailing, when there is no one around.

Even when there is someone around, you can reply back to them if they ask a question Inshaa Allaah, but not asking their life story lol, u know what I mean?
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11-29-2007, 01:52 PM
:salamext:

and I know I can control my self I would NEVER touch a girl in that way its wrong.
Lol brother, when ur alone with a girl (which u wont be Inshaa Allaah before marriage), the shaytaan puts thoughts in your head... Trust me on this one lol....
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 01:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
and I know I can control my self I would NEVER touch a girl in that way its wrong.
so you've never touched your girlfriend?!

because shaytaan works in steps, trust me.. if u dont change ur lifestyle, u'll be stuck in a never ending cycle...
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 02:05 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
so you've never touched your girlfriend?!

because shaytaan works in steps, trust me.. if u dont change ur lifestyle, u'll be stuck in a never ending cycle...
Ive touched a girl hugged thats it ?

format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:



You can't talk to them unnecessarily, e.g. txting/talking on fone/emailing, when there is no one around.

Even when there is someone around, you can reply back to them if they ask a question Inshaa Allaah, but not asking their life story lol, u know what I mean?
I mean there my cousins allah! god man its nothing like that
god
i dont even look at the cousins that way!!!!

Where close
I mean
omg! meh im shocked!!

format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:



Lol brother, when ur alone with a girl (which u wont be Inshaa Allaah before marriage), the shaytaan puts thoughts in your head... Trust me on this one lol....
ive been alone with my girl many time cinima etc etc and i never even wanted 2 do anything like that never even had the thought and i promise


i mean i wouldnt even want do do anything like that!!!!

The most I ever done was hugged thats it seriously man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im so confussed and fed up right now
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11-29-2007, 02:13 PM
:salamext:

EXACTLY. You've hugged. Ur not even supposed to touch a girl ur not mehram to. Even though ur cuzzins are cuzzins, you are still a non mehram to them. Which means you cannot be along with them, because, Islamically, you are allowed to marry them.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 02:15 PM
and even if you have no feelings for your cousins, how can you be so sure that they wont develop feelings for you?!...


Assalamu Alaikum
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 02:30 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
and even if you have no feelings for your cousins, how can you be so sure that they wont develop feelings for you?!...


Assalamu Alaikum

I know my cousins they wont

format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:

EXACTLY. You've hugged. Ur not even supposed to touch a girl ur not mehram to. Even though ur cuzzins are cuzzins, you are still a non mehram to them. Which means you cannot be along with them, because, Islamically, you are allowed to marry them.
i never hugged my cousins, huggs my kuri. Ok if i wont do that anymore its still a crime then ???

I know where allowed to get married to cousins but I wont never ever
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11-29-2007, 02:35 PM
:salamext:

Lol brother, Subhaan Allaah, you’re unbelievable. You say you’ve only hugged your kuri (girl)? She’s sum next girl that’s not even related to you! That’s worse than hugging cousins!

Even if you think your cousins won’t like you, it’s best (and Islamic) to keep your distance from them Inshaa Allaah.

Brother we have given you your answers, if you are not satisfied with it, then that’s something you need to work on Inshaa Allaah.
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 02:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:

Lol brother, Subhaan Allaah, you’re unbelievable. You say you’ve only hugged your kuri (girl)? She’s sum next girl that’s not even related to you! That’s worse than hugging cousins!

Even if you think your cousins won’t like you, it’s best (and Islamic) to keep your distance from them Inshaa Allaah.

Brother we have given you your answers, if you are not satisfied with it, then that’s something you need to work on Inshaa Allaah.
shes nto a next girl i known her for what 5 years?

I trust your answers and everything i just got these questions needs to be sorted.

god im gonna do that reading up now and ill report back!
But i am changing my life its just gonna be a killa!

One thing

i go college in london, and like i cant ignore the girls from now on can i? i mean i know alot of them and i cant just ignore them can i ?

and i mean

when i takl 2 them about work for example is that a crime?

i mean even if im walking home n with them is that a crime?

im doing my read up in a bit!
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11-29-2007, 02:49 PM
:salamext:

shes nto a next girl i known her for what 5 years?
But you are still not her mehram. So she is some ‘next girl’.

But i am changing my life its just gonna be a killa!
Allaah is with those who change themselves and their way of life for Him.

One thing

i go college in london, and like i cant ignore the girls from now on can i? i mean i know alot of them and i cant just ignore them can i ?
If you want to be sincere to Allah and Islam then you will only talk to them when it is necessary.

and i mean

when i takl 2 them about work for example is that a crime?
No you can talk to them about work, because that is a necessity. Avoid if possible though Inshaa Allaah.

i mean even if im walking home n with them is that a crime?
It is not a crime, it’s wrong. Because you are not supposed to be alone with a girl in Islam.

Subhaan Allaah, May Allaah guide you upon the straight path, Aameen.
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 02:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
It is not a crime, it’s wrong. Because you are not supposed to be alone with a girl in Islam.

.
ok
say im with a few girls and few boys its wrong?


I mean on wenesday i know this girl who lives in the same area
and she walks and gets on the bus 4 me she always waits 4 me cuz shes scared, i mean is that a crime? shes scared i cant stop walking home with her??
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 03:03 PM
the bus with me*

shes scared 2 walk home alone
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11-29-2007, 03:04 PM
:salamext:

I mean on wenesday i know this girl who lives in the same area
and she walks and gets on the bus 4 me she always waits 4 me cuz shes scared, i mean is that a crime? shes scared i cant stop walking home with her??
Brother, you are a non mehram, so you shouldn’t be alone with her, and shouldn’t be walking with her, etc.

Best avoid where possible Inshaa Allaah.
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 03:10 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:



Brother, you are a non mehram, so you shouldn’t be alone with her, and shouldn’t be walking with her, etc.

Best avoid where possible Inshaa Allaah.
what do you mean by mehram

see i THINK now I no i am wrong

I thought i was doing good because our college is in 1 area, and we leave college 6PM and its pitch black so shes scared. I mean i cant say not to be i mean im just helping her i dont want nothing to happen to her thats why i am walking her. I mean the area our college is some racist ppl are there

and as soon as we get in the area we live shes not scared because she/i know the area and its full of asaian :)
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 04:25 PM
lol im so stressed seriously !!!

I thought i was doing good because our college is in 1 area, and we leave college 6PM and its pitch black so shes scared. I mean i cant say not to be i mean im just helping her i dont want nothing to happen to her thats why i am walking her. I mean the area our college is some racist ppl are there

and as soon as we get in the area we live shes not scared because she/i know the area and its full of asaian
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 04:28 PM
bro if somethings islamically incorrect why go against it... islaam is the most logical and perfect way of life. SubhanAllaah..



its kool that u wanna help out this girl and protect her BUT thats not your job! wheres her brothers/uncles/father etc, arent there any girl mates to walk her home?!. Why are they letting her out like that, how would they feel if they knew your walking her home?! are they dayyuth? Whys this poor girl being left to be all scared at a bus stop, the heK?!

seriously bro, just stick to whats right, leave all the confusion...
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 04:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
bro if somethings islamically incorrect why go against it... islaam is the most logical and perfect way of life. SubhanAllaah..



its kool that u wanna help out this girl and protect her BUT thats not your job! wheres her brothers/uncles/father etc, arent there any girl mates to walk her home?!. Why are they letting her out like that, how would they feel if they knew your walking her home?! are they dayyuth? Whys this poor girl being left to be all scared at a bus stop, the heK?!

seriously bro, just stick to whats right, leave all the confusion...

im not saying islam is incorrect i mean i dunno

im not going against it i just dont follow it but im changing my life soon

i dunno where ur parents are
i mean i know its not my problem but its just somthing nice 2 do

but ill try no 2 now!!!!
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 04:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
i dunno where ur parents are
i mean i know its not my problem but its just somthing nice 2 do

but ill try no 2 now!!!!
yeah dont worry, the girl will be allright inshaAllaah. If shes scared of being harassed then she can wear a hijaab, and if shes scared of gangsters then im sure if she talks to her family they will sort something out. Dont worry...


and listen...

shaytaan will come whisperin to you a MILLION reasons not to listen to Allaah, best thing to do is obey Allaah and seek refuge in Allaah from the shaytaan, that lil shaytaan always trying to mislead us.. dont let him brO!
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 05:05 PM
i just abit long corious why im not allowed to chat 2 my cousins as well
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 05:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
i just abit long corious why im not allowed to chat 2 my cousins as well
just keep it really formal, dont start jokin around too much and stuff.

lol dont completely ignore them, thats rude, i mean they are family. but NEVER stay alone with them!!!


Assalamu Alaikum
Reply

Kittygyal
11-29-2007, 05:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
Salam

In Islam are we allowed to have girl freinds?? Its nothing got up do with adultey or I will never it go that way. I just need to know as I want to change my life around and become a good muslim

Also if where not allowed can I ask why??

Thank you

Salam
Salamualikum.

They tend to break ya heart or you tend to be in tears. Why have Gyalfriends/Boyfriends? obviously at that stage you get to know eachother soo well and then satan tells you to do bad things and at that moment of time satan is the third person with you. If your that desperate then get married stop mingling around with opposite gender.
It's up to Allaah and we follow Allaah commandments and it's NOT allowed in Islam and there's NO 'BUT , AND , IF' it's forbidden in Islam for a reason so end off.

Ma'assalama
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Pk_#2
11-29-2007, 05:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
i just abit long corious why im not allowed to chat 2 my cousins as well
Huh, Who said that?, lemme ask ma gal-mates if they know anything about this, 'ang on.
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 05:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Umma Wasat
Huh, Who said that?, lemme ask ma gal-mates if they know anything about this, 'ang on.
someone on this forum if there girls i cant chat 2 them i mean proper like txt/call etc etc

format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
just keep it really formal, dont start jokin around too much and stuff.

lol dont completely ignore them, thats rude, i mean they are family. but NEVER stay alone with them!!!


Assalamu Alaikum
but im always joking with them etc etc going out somtimes with them etc etc

i just dont know WHY its haram there cousins
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 05:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
someone on this forum if there girls i cant chat 2 them i mean proper like txt/call etc etc



but im always joking with them etc etc going out somtimes with them etc etc

i just dont know WHY its haram there cousins
its because your allowed to marry them lol, and you cant be 250% sure that they dont have feelings for you... just trust me on this one bro. im not talking from air... trust me.. you might get shocked but it happens !
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Pk_#2
11-29-2007, 05:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
its because your allowed to marry them lol, and you cant be 250% sure that they dont have feelings for you... just trust me on this one bro. im not talking from air... trust me.. you might get shocked but it happens !
Urrgh you paki machli,

Anyway bro Qas, why the *bleep* would you want to text or call cousin sisters? Get a girl! I mean don't, just get a life, get closer with your cousin brothers, tada and it will all fall into place.
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Kittygyal
11-29-2007, 05:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
someone on this forum if there girls i cant chat 2 them i mean proper like txt/call etc etc



but im always joking with them etc etc going out somtimes with them etc etc

i just dont know WHY its haram there cousins
Salamualikum.
Your making a fuss mate. RELAX and have a coffee!

Look, you can talk to your cousins but not joke away in such away because you can marry them, sometimes people joke soo much and they forget what day it is. Remember just chat to your cousins 'Gyals' like maybe give them salam or ask them 'how r u' and stuff but there's a limit. Don't talk rubbish to them or don't glare at them. Always stay firmly away from opposite gender cause even though they might be ur cousins satan can tell you to do all sorts.

Ma'assalama
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Noor 13
11-29-2007, 05:22 PM
You can not go out with your cousins because you can marry them. You can talk to them in a formal way but that's about it. The only women you are allowd to go out with are
Your Wife
Your daughters
your Mother
Your Sisters and half Sisters
Your aunts
Your mother in law
Your Grandmother
and that's about it. If you want to get your life sorted stop going out and hanging out with girls. It is not permitted in Islam
Reply

qassy!
11-29-2007, 06:14 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
its because your allowed to marry them lol, and you cant be 250% sure that they dont have feelings for you... just trust me on this one bro. im not talking from air... trust me.. you might get shocked but it happens !
lol? i dont care im not marying my cousins!!

format_quote Originally Posted by Kittygyal
Salamualikum.
Your making a fuss mate. RELAX and have a coffee!

Look, you can talk to your cousins but not joke away in such away because you can marry them, sometimes people joke soo much and they forget what day it is. Remember just chat to your cousins 'Gyals' like maybe give them salam or ask them 'how r u' and stuff but there's a limit. Don't talk rubbish to them or don't glare at them. Always stay firmly away from opposite gender cause even though they might be ur cousins satan can tell you to do all sorts.

Ma'assalama
I dont want to marry them!!! thats sick man!

what do you mean glare? look @ them in that way? i never do that :raging:

format_quote Originally Posted by Umma Wasat
Urrgh you paki machli,

Anyway bro Qas, why the *bleep* would you want to text or call cousin sisters? Get a girl! I mean don't, just get a life, get closer with your cousin brothers, tada and it will all fall into place.
I got a girl who im going to get rid off cuz im gonna follow islam

whats wrong with calling texts cousins?
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11-29-2007, 07:06 PM
:salamext:

i just abit long corious why im not allowed to chat 2 my cousins as well
Brother! I told you! You are their NON MEHRAM, which means u can get married to them. So you should keep it formal as brother IbnAbdulHakim said.
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Umm Hurairah
11-29-2007, 07:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
thats sick man!
Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabaraktu,

If it's allowed in Islam then there is NO WAY it's sick.

How can you say that it is sick when someone as Beloved as our Prophet Muhammad (SA) did it?!?!
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11-29-2007, 07:39 PM
:salamext:

I think the answer has been given, and this thread should be closed Inshaa Allaah.
Reply

tigersabre
11-29-2007, 09:04 PM
qassy,

Allah and His Messenger have defined who is mahram and non-mahram for you. Your cousin is defined as non-mahram. If you want to text and hang out with your cousin, then marry her.
Reply

Kittygyal
11-29-2007, 10:05 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
I dont want to marry them!!! thats sick man!

what do you mean glare? look @ them in that way? i never do that :raging:
Salamualikum.

STOP KILLING A MUSLIM!

If it's okay to go out with some next mans sister obviously you look at them first and stuff, so how do you know you won't do that to your cousins?. Satan can attempt you to do anything thats why we need to fight back!. If your not going to marry your cousins then why the heck do you want to text them and stuff?, erm im sure when they grow older or they might already be old there husband won't want you to chat to them. I don't know from a Muslim background because im a formaly christain. In other words Im a revert to Islam, what i know as a Muslim now Alhamdulilah that we should stay firmly away from opposite gender.
I don't understand why your asking soo many questions when i told you there's NO 'And - But - IF' if Allaah says NO then end off..!!

We can NOT force you brother but we can do dua'ah for you and tell you whats right and wrong, bare in mind we aint no scholar or anything so go to local Masjid nearby and ask an Imam. We have weak knwoledge and still learning.

Now in short cents having GF/BF is haram, talking to your cousins 'GYALS' are okay but talk to them with a legal convo which is allowed in Islam and always 'LOWER YA GAZE'.. now rest is up to you.

May Allaah guide u! Amin

Thread should be recycled.

Ma'assalama
Reply

qassy!
11-29-2007, 11:13 PM
hrm...............................
Reply

qassy!
11-29-2007, 11:13 PM
ill think ill understand more when i read those articles or understand why Allah is saying no then the questions will stop
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-29-2007, 11:18 PM
^ yeah bro, definitly, sometimes its better to read/listen then to keep asking. Hope you find what your looking for :thumbs_up !


Assalamu Alaikum
Reply

qassy!
11-29-2007, 11:30 PM
is there an audio version of this:
http://www.kalamullah.com/youth02.html


thanks
Reply

BlackMamba
11-30-2007, 12:09 AM
See man, i kno u wanna change ur ways and its gonna be hard. Thats Cuz u were probly growing up like a normal guy in London so all this stuff is kinda weird for u.thats normal. If u look at all the regualr wite kids theyre free, they do watever. and if u tell them that they cant talk to girls theyd go crazy but thats cuz there not used to it.Like if u go to Saudi Arabia and u tell the ladies they can become friends with nonmehram men theyd think ur crazy.It just about wat culture ur used to. U gotta get used to the culture of Islam and except that the Westerculture is from shaitan and it will make u fail in this life and in the next.
Start getting rid of girlfriends. then u can stop talking to nonmuslim girls as much as you can, only say stuff u have to say like if its about skool or watever dont just be flirting wit em. Then do the same for all other girls-even ur cuzins. Then go on from there.
And u gotta check out this guys lecture its really good. His name is Abdul Rahman Green and hes is a convert from England. I think u mite be able to relate to him. Heres the Link http://www.lightuponlight.com/islam/...e=index&lid=75
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ayesha309
11-30-2007, 12:27 AM
Bro qassy, i can understand where you are coming from. In my family, all the cousins always get togheter (guys n girls) and we chill, party for the night, n sleep (if at all), n even when sleeping we all sleep in the same room. So obviously there is a lot of haraam activity. But brother, Allah has not permitted, and no further questions need to be asked. You have try your best, to avoid. My cousins say they're not going to marry each other, so its allowed. But ALlah has said that it is haraam. khalaas. I have heard that a man who "looks" at a women with lustful thoughts, who does not look down upon a women, will have lava thrown in his eyes on the Day of Judgement. So brother try to avoid talking/chatting/looking etc at women for your own sake. And like i said, I know where you are coming from and it is a big sacrifice but Allah loves it when you sacrifice for him. And Allah knows best.
Reply

qassy!
11-30-2007, 12:30 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Shakoor15
See man, i kno u wanna change ur ways and its gonna be hard. Thats Cuz u were probly growing up like a normal guy in London
so all this stuff is kinda weird for u.thats normal.

If u look at all the regualr wite kids theyre free, they do watever. and if u tell them that they cant talk to girls theyd go crazy but thats cuz there not used to it.
Like if u go to Saudi Arabia and u tell the ladies they can become friends with nonmehram men theyd think ur crazy.
It just about wat culture ur used to. U gotta get used to the culture of Islam and except that the Westerculture is from shaitan and it will make u fail in this life and in the next.
Start getting rid of girlfriends. then u can stop talking to nonmuslim girls as much as you can, only say stuff u have to say like if its about skool or watever dont just be flirting wit em. Then do the same for all other girls-even ur cuzins. Then go on from there.
And u gotta check out this guys lecture its really good. His name is Abdul Rahman Green and hes is a convert from England. I think u mite be able to relate to him. Heres the Link http://www.lightuponlight.com/islam/...e=index&lid=75

i will check it out thanks

yes you understand its noraml 4 me and its part of everyday life

i mean the person i go college wiv is a girl lives on the same road etc etc

i mean i dont see nothing of it thats why i am reading up

tsart getting rid of girlfriends. then u can stop talking to nonmuslim girls

im going to see her tomorrow and explain, my situation and I cant carry on

Shes a muslim her self, who reads namaz more then me so inshallah she wont be upset or slap me

i dont talk 2 nonmuslim girls really, only if i have 2 e.g work related
Reply

qassy!
11-30-2007, 12:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ayesha000
Bro qassy, i can understand where you are coming from. In my family, all the cousins always get togheter (guys n girls) and we chill, party for the night, n sleep (if at all), n even when sleeping we all sleep in the same room. So obviously there is a lot of haraam activity. But brother, Allah has not permitted, and no further questions need to be asked. You have try your best, to avoid. My cousins say they're not going to marry each other, so its allowed. But ALlah has said that it is haraam. khalaas. I have heard that a man who "looks" at a women with lustful thoughts, who does not look down upon a women, will have lava thrown in his eyes on the Day of Judgement. So brother try to avoid talking/chatting/looking etc at women for your own sake. And like i said, I know where you are coming from and it is a big sacrifice but Allah loves it when you sacrifice for him. And Allah knows best.

thank u sister ! u understad!

I know its going to be a big change
and ill stop talking to them, i mean like i use 2 and there gonna think im upset with them its just a big change in life
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Ummu Sufyaan
11-30-2007, 08:21 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by qassy!
true
but say I can control my self?



bruvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Im not getting married yett!!! ! only 17!!!!
shes into islam she reads her namaz more then me!

im going to chat 2 her today saying we cant go out any more!

But can we still like go out? talk etc etc? ?

I mean is that ok? I mean as genral freinds? talk 2 girls/go out but just as freinds?

thanks alot you all are helping me out alot thanks!!
:sl:
well, i know a brother who got married at 17, and his wife was 13. and that was only 12 years ago. probably even less.

Its not hard we been going out for 5 years! I cant break someone heart like that.....but it has to be done
but what about the negative affect it has on you....

:sl:
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11-30-2007, 09:10 AM
:salamext:

Thread closed?
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