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SpeedInfusion
11-29-2007, 08:04 AM
786

Salam brothers and sisters,

I have a very tough situation and i dont know what to do.

I recently got married 3 months ago and am now living with my inlaws ( because my mom passed away last year and my dad is in Texas). Recently i realized that i need to live with my dad and my sister in texas with my wife to have my sanity restored ( i kind of went into depression after my mom passed) or stay where i am and make my mother in law happy who pretty much hates me, keep in mind, i am trying to love her like a mother but she keeps hurting me and putting me down...

Should i leave and make me and my wife happy( and my dad & sister would be happy as well)?
or stay to make her happy and me and my wife miserable?

jazakallah kair
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 12:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by SpeedInfusion
786

Salam brothers and sisters,

I have a very tough situation and i dont know what to do.

I recently got married 3 months ago and am now living with my inlaws ( because my mom passed away last year and my dad is in Texas). Recently i realized that i need to live with my dad and my sister in texas with my wife to have my sanity restored ( i kind of went into depression after my mom passed) or stay where i am and make my mother in law happy who pretty much hates me, keep in mind, i am trying to love her like a mother but she keeps hurting me and putting me down...

Should i leave and make me and my wife happy( and my dad & sister would be happy as well)?
or stay to make her happy and me and my wife miserable?

jazakallah kair

salam bruv!

Leave her, if it makes you, your dad,, sister, wife happy its best to leave
You will live a happy life!

Why would you stay with her and make your life miserable?? Dont do that!
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------
11-29-2007, 12:27 PM
:salamext:

Have u asked your wife? Take her opinion into account Inshaa Allaah
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qassy!
11-29-2007, 12:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:

Have u asked your wife? Take her opinion into account Inshaa Allaah

why? His wife will be happy if she goes texas as well? and if his wife wants to stay he will be upset
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------
11-29-2007, 12:31 PM
:salamext:

Because they should both take this big decision together.
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chosen
11-29-2007, 03:14 PM
you answered the question for yourself when you said should I go to texas and make me and my wife happy...You already know it will make her happy by this statement...Just make sure you do not loose contact with your wifes family..always allow your wife free access to call them..and vist as much as possible..
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islamirama
11-29-2007, 04:26 PM
There is no obligation on you to stay with your in laws nor to force them to be happy at your expense.

You and your wife have the right to a private life, in fact Islam encourages you do that so you can have time to yourselves to build a strong relationship.

Also, your family is your dad and sister. You should be taking care of your dad in his old age and helping him find a suitable person for your sister (if she's that age already).

Also, living with your family and being more confident and independent may help your mother in law respect you and not be so disgruntle towards you.
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Woodrow
11-29-2007, 04:38 PM
Sometime a bit of distance is the best cement to make for strong bonds in a family. All the advice given seems to be very appropriate. You are part of 3 families. Your father's, Your in-law's and the just beginning one of you and your wife. It is best to select the choice that will help you and your wife grow firm and strong as a family.

A side benefit is the most likely the relationship between you and your Mother-in-law will most likely strengthen if there is some physical distancing.
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Noor 13
11-29-2007, 05:04 PM
Salam alaykom brother
If you feel you and your wife would be happy living in Texas with your dad then go for it.
And if you are still not sre pray Isthikhara and ask Allah for help
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tigersabre
11-29-2007, 08:47 PM
Pray istikhaara and consult with your wife.
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SpeedInfusion
11-30-2007, 05:26 AM
Thanks peepz...my wife is all for moving...sorry i forgot to mention that..i just wanted to make sure it was my "islamic duty" (like being patient with my mom or dad) to be "this" patient with my mother in law....

jazakallah kair once again :)

-shahid
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tigersabre
11-30-2007, 10:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by SpeedInfusion
Thanks peepz...my wife is all for moving...sorry i forgot to mention that..i just wanted to make sure it was my "islamic duty" (like being patient with my mom or dad) to be "this" patient with my mother in law....

jazakallah kair once again :)

-shahid
That's really awesome that you cared enough to try and find and answer, may Allah subhaana wa ta'aala reward you for seeking ihsaan.
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