preference

[anonymous]

hi

i am almost a convert to islam and i noticed one small thing wyl bein around muslims. why do muslim men in particula lyk 2 marry a girl with wyt skin, is it becuz she will giv them whiter children? i havnt even converted yet & i had sum proposals from muslim men wich made me feel uneasy. i lyk islam, wat attracted me the mst about it is the unity no matta what ethnic u r, but wen it comes to marriage, i learnt that muslim men particularly the asian or arab 1s lyk to marry a wyt woman. i dnt mean 2 mke it sound generalized but dats hw i c it and i need 2 knw is this tru? and why is a non-white less superior than a white muslimah? im sorry but i do c this happenin, and i dnt want to be married for my skin, i dont feel easy wit that thank u

peace b upon u brothers and sisters

[------]

:salamext:

Lol sis, it differs with each man. The above is not necessarily true.

[AnonymousPoster]

I do agree with you. I am a revert myself and I am also white. I also had immediately after converting a few proposals from Arab and Asian men. As a matter of fact I did the proposals not only get because I am white but also because I am holding an European passport which is for many Asians and Arabs important because it could mean for them as well getting another Nationality. And it is nothing new that for example in Saudi people with American or European Nationalities get more paid for the same work as Arabs.

[------]

:salamext:

Lol ok if you want to portray men like that... :X

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[AnonymousPoster]

:salamext:

Lol ok if you want to portray men like that... :X

It is not that I wanna portray them like that....It happened more than once. It is sad but it is true.

[Woodrow]

I did not know that a wife was to be chosen on the basis of skin color. My first wife was predominantly Irish/German, My second wife was predominantly Cherokee. I guess there was a considerable difference in skin coloration, but I never noticed it nor ever considered it of any importance. I myself am mixed race. Although I do appear to be predominantly caucasian, I choose to identify my self more with being oriental. Even though I do not have any noticeable oriental features, unless I point them out.

So I would say that this is all a matter of personal choice when possible. I also suspect the reason many non-Caucasian men in the USA find Caucasian wives is because it seems most of the single Muslim women are Caucasian here.

[islamirama]

Salam (peace).

Welcome to the forum sis. :)

What you say is true. Many arab and asian men prefer white/fair color over dark one. And this is something of recent times only. Why?

The colonial powers invaded Muslim lands and occupied them. These colonial powers had (and still do) ethenocentric views. Anyone who wasn't one of them white folks was beneath them. And since they lived in in Muslim lands, colonising there. Their influence was rubbed onto the population there. The colonials preferred light/fair colored locals and gave them better opportunities then dark skin people. So this mentality got embedded in the the minds of those nations that being "white" is better, prettier, etc. etc.

Before the colonists came to muslim lands, race nor color was any issue nor was there even nationalism.

Also, most Muslims follow their culture which is not always in align with Islam. As far as Islam is concerned on this issue...


"... All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood.... O People! No Prophet or Apostle will come after me and no new faith will be born. Reason well, therefore, O People! And understand words which I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, Al-Qur'aan and my Sunnah (i.e., sayings, deeds, and approvals) and if you follow these you will never go astray..." [Prophet Muhammad's (SAW) Last Sermon]

[anonymous]

thanx everyone for the mind provoking replies. ok allow me to begin wit anonymous gender: unfortunately dat is the case, and me as a white, i cnt exctly be proud of it. wen i was out to search the right way of lyf, islam won my heart becuz it's teachings i just cannot describe wit words. and to be honest, it upsets me dat dis kind of unfairness is goin on wit the muslim community.

the muslim sister who guided me wit advice on my journey 2 islam is incredibly knowledgeable and i never met a friend wit so good & wise advice. i used to envy her a little becuz she wud make a wonderful house maker, mother and wyf one day... but 2 my surprise, nt a single brother who knew her at their regular mosque ever proposed to her, instead they wanna propose to me? and that muslim sister was i believ, pakistani and there was nutin wrong bout her looks. i thought muslim men knw they must marry a woman of religion first, ryt?

woodrow ur post proves otherwise, it doesnt generalize the whole thing. but i spoke 2 sum sisters earlier bout this and one of them said "as long as a decent skin color of children is maintained, then its k' meanin dat a man or woman secures himself or herself wit a lighter skin spouse- again, im :uuh:wit it.

islamirama i agree wit the colonialism thing and dat is partly the reason why dis issue is prevelant. i luv dat last sermon quote, dat is what moved me wen i was searchin islam. i expected muslims 2 knw better and dat they do things to stun the world. ofcourse they have the ability 2 to do so because islam according to my opinion is the way of lyf close to perfection nd i am ready to embrace it BUT if any1 chooses me not cuz i am knowledge-seeker but cuz of my skin then i am goin 2 b very uncomfortable.

[Woodrow]

woodrow ur post proves otherwise, it doesnt generalize the whole thing. but i spoke 2 sum sisters earlier bout this and one of them said "as long as a decent skin color of children is maintained, then its k' meanin dat a man or woman secures himself or herself wit a lighter skin spouse- again, im :uuh:wit it.

I should probably have noted that my Cherokee wife was considerably darker than me, while my Irish/German wife was about the same skin tone.

[-Elle-]

thanx everyone for the mind provoking replies. ok allow me to begin wit anonymous gender: unfortunately dat is the case, and me as a white, i cnt exctly be proud of it. wen i was out to search the right way of lyf, islam won my heart becuz it's teachings i just cannot describe wit words. and to be honest, it upsets me dat dis kind of unfairness is goin on wit the muslim community.

the muslim sister who guided me wit advice on my journey 2 islam is incredibly knowledgeable and i never met a friend wit so good & wise advice. i used to envy her a little becuz she wud make a wonderful house maker, mother and wyf one day... but 2 my surprise, nt a single brother who knew her at their regular mosque ever proposed to her, instead they wanna propose to me? and that muslim sister was i believ, pakistani and there was nutin wrong bout her looks. i thought muslim men knw they must marry a woman of religion first, ryt?

woodrow ur post proves otherwise, it doesnt generalize the whole thing. but i spoke 2 sum sisters earlier bout this and one of them said "as long as a decent skin color of children is maintained, then its k' meanin dat a man or woman secures himself or herself wit a lighter skin spouse- again, im :uuh:wit it.

islamirama i agree wit the colonialism thing and dat is partly the reason why dis issue is prevelant. i luv dat last sermon quote, dat is what moved me wen i was searchin islam. i expected muslims 2 knw better and dat they do things to stun the world. ofcourse they have the ability 2 to do so because islam according to my opinion is the way of lyf close to perfection nd i am ready to embrace it BUT if any1 chooses me not cuz i am knowledge-seeker but cuz of my skin then i am goin 2 b very uncomfortable.

:sl:

I'd like to start of by saying congrats sister;insh'allah you will embrace islam fully once you've grown comfortable with it.

Now,you keep on saying "muslims men prefer whiter girls..",It's not muslims,maybe you mean it's arabic people.There are chinese muslim,african muslims,asian muslims,italian muslims,etc... and I highly doubt that all these races would prefer whiter girls.

Now,as for arabs,im one myself and yeah kind of agree with what you're saying.Kind of.See,it doesn't matter what culture you're from...some arab men might prefer whiter women,some might prefer olive toned women,other might like darker women,but if you have perceived that the majority of arab men where you live seem to prefer whiter girls,well then that's their preference...and not the one of a hole religion nor ethnic group.It's not good to generalise.

Does this "preference towards one type of look over the other" make much sense?

No.In my opinion,it doesn't.I don't believe it's fair nor logical to prefer one kind of skin colour over the other,let alone CHOOSE A SPOUSE mainly for that.As you said,that pakistani girl with the beautiful heart mash'allah hasn't been proposed to because of her colour.Does that make sense?Men and women(not only arab muslims) should always keep in mind a person's deen when choosing a spouse,but not everyone does that,sadly,but that's just their mentality.

Although,not all arab(muslim) men think like that,so no worries:),you'll hopefully find one who will be interested in you for your iman rather than your looks.Best of luck!

:w:

[qassy!]

Slam Brv

Thats not true, im muslim pakistani and im asian, and i want a gal from the same race. No white girl _

[tigersabre]

hi

i am almost a convert to islam and i noticed one small thing wyl bein around muslims. why do muslim men in particula lyk 2 marry a girl with wyt skin, is it becuz she will giv them whiter children? i havnt even converted yet & i had sum proposals from muslim men wich made me feel uneasy. i lyk islam, wat attracted me the mst about it is the unity no matta what ethnic u r, but wen it comes to marriage, i learnt that muslim men particularly the asian or arab 1s lyk to marry a wyt woman. i dnt mean 2 mke it sound generalized but dats hw i c it and i need 2 knw is this tru? and why is a non-white less superior than a white muslimah? im sorry but i do c this happenin, and i dnt want to be married for my skin, i dont feel easy wit that thank u

peace b upon u brothers and sisters

Hey Anonymous,

The way of life, Islam, is perfect. Mankind - not so perfect. Is it a sin to prefer one race over another for marriage? Not really. Is it a sin to prefer one race over another as one being inherently superior over another? Yes, that is a problem.

Go ahead and take your shahada, and don't worry about how the people are - follow your heart regarding your belief in Allah and the message of His Final Prophet, Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallim.

[aminahjaan]

Not all men are the same haha, observe a little. Islam doesn't promote racism, however some Muslim people (as a part of their culture) do. Just keep looking!

[noorseeker]

It comes from asian culture,when ever theres a new born baby in the family, every one has to comment on the skin colour,there are some beutiful dark skinned girls out there. Its the same for guys as well, everyone wants a lighter skin son in law and he has got to be tall , well in bengali culture.

[anonymous]

:sl:
as a light skinned person, i truly feel annoyed when light skinned poeple take preference. you are loved for your skin colour, and i dont mean by a potential spouse, i mean by the females too! (lol...i dont mean in the homo way) my neice is also light skinned and she is favourited because of it, and so is my nephew, it drives me nuts. :X
I want to marry a dark skinned person, and one of the reasons is that because i dont want my kids to be prefered and loved because of their skin colour.

[Talib_Rayhan]

:sl:

Maybe one day through all the different people with different skin tones coming together there will be just one universal skin tone... You never know, It could happen