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ikaj
01-08-2008, 10:02 PM
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) had 9 wives at the time of his death. In islam it's permitted to have more than one wife as long as you treat wife exactly the same. I recently listened to a lecture from an imam online and he said that prophet Mohammad (pbuh) loved Isha the most out of all his wives and that there was even some jealousy and some animosity between the wives and Isha.
If this was the case, how can we say that all of the Prophet's (pbuh) wives were treated the same?
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muslima1
02-28-2008, 10:49 PM
Love is something you can't control but what you can is being fair to each one in terms of fulfiling their rights. If you stay at wifes house for a certain amount of hours you can't stay with another one longer because you love her more.
This is what is means by being fair.
Jealousy is in human nature all co-wives have that between them, which wife wouldn't but the reason o fthe jealousy wasn't due to favourism because the prophet (salallahu alayhiwaslaam) was always fair. They weren't jealousy of Aisha they were jealous of one another at times but not always and there is nothing wrong with that its in human nature to be like that.

Hope this answered your question.
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Dr.Trax
02-28-2008, 10:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by muslima1
Love is something you can't control but what you can is being fair to each one in terms of fulfiling their rights. If you stay at wifes house for a certain amount of hours you can't stay with another one longer because you love her more.
This is what is means by being fair.
Jealousy is in human nature all co-wives have that between them, which wife wouldn't but the reason o fthe jealousy wasn't due to favourism because the prophet (salallahu alayhiwaslaam) was always fair. They weren't jealousy of Aisha they were jealous of one another at times but not always and there is nothing wrong with that its in human nature to be like that.

Hope this answered your question.
Very good answer sister!!!:thumbs_up
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Mikayeel
02-28-2008, 10:54 PM
Wa salaam alykum

Thats right, Love you cnt controll

Like a mother cant love all her children equally, she can spend time, money etc all equall with them. But deep inside she wud love one more than the other.

So the prophet(pbuh) couldnt love them all equall, but he had to spend equall amount of time, money on all of them.
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Whatsthepoint
02-29-2008, 12:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ikaj
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) had 9 wives at the time of his death. In islam it's permitted to have more than one wife as long as you treat wife exactly the same. I recently listened to a lecture from an imam online and he said that prophet Mohammad (pbuh) loved Isha the most out of all his wives and that there was even some jealousy and some animosity between the wives and Isha.
If this was the case, how can we say that all of the Prophet's (pbuh) wives were treated the same?
I thought 4 was the upper limit.:ooh:
Reply

waji
02-29-2008, 01:05 PM
:sl:

Well i think Hazarat Khadija (peace be upon her) got more love and respect
by Prophet Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him) because he didn't married when she was
alive. i don't remember the hadith but i heard it alot that on numerous occasion he told other wives that he has more respect for her as the most hardest time she not only helped him but also gave her whole many for islam
But Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) treated all wives equally

:w:
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------
02-29-2008, 01:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Whatsthepoint
I thought 4 was the upper limit.:ooh:
:salamext:

This rule doesn't apply to the Prophets.
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Whatsthepoint
02-29-2008, 01:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AhLÄÄM
:salamext:

This rule doesn't apply to the Prophets.
Oooooh..
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Ibn Al Aqwa
02-29-2008, 03:04 PM
hmmm, i would never say the prophet (SAW) never treated his wives equally...if he loved one more, that dosnt mean he treated her better, he (SAW) just loved her more, still treated them all the same.......

Salaamz........................
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AvarAllahNoor
02-29-2008, 03:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Whatsthepoint
I thought 4 was the upper limit.:ooh:
I thought the same. Do they go on adding more as the move along...? :X
Reply

muslima1
02-29-2008, 03:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Whatsthepoint
I thought 4 was the upper limit.:ooh:
The prophet was perfect he was able to fulfil each wifes right with equality but the ummah have limit of 4 because they wouldn't be able to be equal just look at someone who has 2 wives in this day and age and you will see for yourself if they would of been able to be equal to all their wives if hey had more than 4.
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Roasted Cashew
02-29-2008, 03:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AvarAllahNoor
I thought the same. Do they go on adding more as the move along...? :X
I have a question regarding marriage and the wives of Muhammad. Why is it that, if Islam only permits up to four wives, and even then does not encourage it, Muhammad took nine wives? Also, one of his wives was only seven years old when he married her, and nine when he consummated the marriage, according to your Web site. This seems to me akin to child molestation! Also, one of his children was not from one of his wives, but from one of his “right-hand possessions” to quote your own Web site. Why is a woman called a possession? Is this a concubine? Why did he have intercourse outside of wedlock? Weren’t nine women enough for him? Muhammad’s own lifestyle seems to contradict the very teachings Islam claims regarding marriage and women.

Name of Counsellor: Sahar El-Nadi

Answer
Thank you for the ongoing dialogue with our page. We enjoy bouncing ideas back and forth with you, as it seems you’re researching Islam diligently.
Women are often brought into the picture when discussing Islam because their status—if not studied thoroughly and objectively—is severely misunderstood. Under those inaccurate assumptions, Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is often accused of practicing and encouraging unjust treatment of women, while the truth is actually the opposite—as I hope you will see after reading this answer.

I’m encouraged by your thoughtful, questioning nature to attempt to crystallize the true picture of this great man. Let’s take an objective peek into his life, to examine whether or not Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is that repelling womanizer. But first let’s go a little further back in history to look at the domestic lives of other prophets preceding Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and what their Scriptures tell us about their stance towards the polygamy issue:

Other Prophets Practiced Polygamy
The fact that only Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is accused of polygamy is rather surprising, since this is a privilege enjoyed by prophets before him. Their wives and concubines came in great numbers, too! The Torah, the Bible, and the Qur’an tell of some of them; the rest are not mentioned so we don’t know, but among the ones who were polygamous we can count Prophets Ibrahim (Abraham), Ya`qub (Jacob), Dawud (David), and Sulayman (Solomon). The Scriptures talk of polygamy as a “favor” bestowed upon them from the Lord.

First Kings 11:1-3 indicates that King Solomon had 700 hundred wives and 300 hundred concubines! In sealing treaties in ancient days, it was customary for a lesser king to give his daughter in marriage to the greater king. Every time a new treaty was sealed, Solomon ended up with yet another wife. These wives were considered “tokens of friendship” and “sealed” the relationship between the two kings. (Reasoning from the Scriptures on 1 Kings)

Scripture indicates that David also acquired wives and concubines, David’s blessings, including his wives, were given to him as a result of God’s favor (2 Sam. 5:12-13; 12:8; D & C 132:39). Scriptural records say that the Lord did command some of his ancient saints to practice plural marriage. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob—among others (D & C 132)—conformed to this ennobling and exalting principle; the whole history of ancient Israel was one in which plurality of wives was a divinely accepted and approved order of matrimony. Those who entered this order at the Lord’s command, and who kept the laws and conditions appertaining to it, have gained for themselves eternal exaltation in the highest heaven of the celestial world. (Mormon Doctrine of Plural Marriage p. 578)

Islam Didn’t Invent Polygamy but Only Regulated It—in Favor of Women!
From the above accounts, we can clearly see that Prophets—including Muhammad—were allowed to be more polygamous than their followers, not just for carnal reasons, but for political and religious reasons pertaining to their call. Consequently, it is groundless to wonder why Muslims can’t marry 12 wives like their prophet, just as it is groundless to wonder why Jews and Christians can’t marry 700 like theirs! Islam didn’t invent polygamy; Islam only made polygamy more humane, instituting equal rights for all wives. And even so, Muslim women are not forced to accept this and may put a condition against it in their marriage contract.

The Qur’an Is the Only Holy Book That Actually Says “Marry Only One”
Images of “sheikhs with harems” are not consistent with Islam, as, in fact, the general rule in Islam is monogamy not polygamy. the Qur’an says what means:
*{Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one.}* (An-Nisaa’ 3:3)

Polygamy in Islam is not recommended; it is only permitted under certain guidelines. Permission to practice polygamy is not associated with mere satisfaction of passion. It is, rather, associated with compassion toward widows and orphans.

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygamy, and many men had more than four wives. Islam put an upper limit of four wives, permitting a man to marry more than once, only on the condition that he deal justly with all of them. Yet the same verse points out:
*{Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women}* (Al-Nisaa’ 3:129)

Therefore polygamy is not a rule but an exception.

Why Is the Exception of Polygamy Allowed in Islam?
The exception is made for many reasons, but let’s note only one here, addressing your concern that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) “had intercourse outside of wedlock.”
In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses or multiple extra-marital affairs. Women in this case are degraded to mere sex objects with absolutely no rights; they’re usually on the losing end of such liaisons. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife so that women can retain their lawful rights and lead an honorable, dignified, and respectable life.

If every adult American man married only one woman, there would still be more than 25 million women in the United States who would not be able to get husbands, at least considering that—according to latest statistics—10 percent of the American population is gay! That’s close to 30 million people!
Thus the only option for a woman who cannot find a husband is either to marry a married man or to become “public property.” Islam gives women the honorable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second. At least one of the reasons Islam has permitted limited polygamy is to protect the modesty of women!

Islam’s Straightforward Approach in Problem Solving
In Islam, problems are supposed to be faced and solved—not ignored! So, rather than requiring hypocritical compliance, Islam provides legitimate and clean solutions to the problems of individuals and societies. There is no doubt that the second wife legally married and treated kindly is better off than a mistress without any legal rights. Through practical example, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) as the guide of Muslims has set the applicable rules for this aspect of human relations in order not to leave anything for speculation.

Stages of the Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) Married Life
First, let’s remember that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) led a life supported only by the bare minimum of necessities. His wives were not idly wasting away the hours in a luxurious harem but led a life of labor and sacrifice, while he was mostly busy away from home overseeing his numerous duties as a Prophet. So, obviously, lust was not a factor, as he wasn’t even at home most of the time. Further, most of his marriages occurred at an age when lust is not a major factor in any man’s life:
1. He remained single until age 25.
2. From age 25 to 50 he was faithful to only one wife, Khadijah, who bore all his children except one. She was 15 years older than him, with children from two previous marriages. She was his greatest ally when he received the Call at age 40 until she died when he was 50 years old. He remained in love with her until he died and often talked of his life with her with great nostalgia.
3. Between ages 50 and 52 he remained unmarried and mourning his late beloved wife. He lived alone with his daughters.
4. Between ages 53 and 60 he married all his other wives for many noble reasons detailed below. It’s unimaginable for a man to suddenly turn lustful at this age, especially as he was constantly traveling, with bloodthirsty enemies on his heels.
5. At age 60, Allah revealed to him verse preventing him from marrying any more until he died, which was at age 63. The Qur’an says what means:
*{It is not lawful for you (to marry other) women after this, nor to change them for other wives.}* (Al-Ahzab 33:52)

Reasons for the Prophet’s Marriages
We can categorize all his marriages under two aspects of his personality:
- Muhammad the man who needed a loving wife, children, and a stable home, so he married Khadijah and remained with only her for 20 years until she died.
- Muhammad the Prophet who married the other wives for reasons pertaining to his duty to deliver the Message to the world. Those particular women were carefully selected, not just haphazardly “acquired” for carnal reasons, as suggested. Here are some of the reasons for which Muhammad married:
1. To pass on Islam to the next generations as a practical legacy
Prophet Muhammad is the only prophet without any privacy, and with a meticulously preserved tradition in speech and actions in all minute details of his public and private life. Preserved in the sharp minds of his wives and his Companions, those narrations comprise the “daily life manual” for Muslims to follow until the end of time. The fact that Islam was spread on the shoulders of women and preserved in their hearts is a great honor to the females of this Ummah. The books of authentic Hadith attribute more than 3,000 narrations and Prophetic traditions to his wives alone.

2. To cement the relations of the budding nation
In a tribal society, it was customary to seal treaties through marrying into tribes. Muhammad’s closest Companions later became the four caliphs who led Islam at the critical stage after his death. Two of them were the fathers of his wives `A’ishah (daughter of Abu Bakr) and Hafsa (daughter of `Umar); the other two married his daughters (`Uthman married Ruqayyah and Zaynab in succession, and `Ali married Fatimah).

3. To teach Muslims compassion with women
He taught them to be compassionate not just to the young and beautiful maidens, but more so to the weak and destitute widows, divorcees, orphans, and elderly women. Islam teaches that women are to be respected, protected, and cared for by their men folk. They’re not to be cast out to face a harsh life alone while able men around them just pity them and do nothing to help, or worse, use their weakness to take them as mistresses!

4. To offer a practical role model to Muslims until the end of time
Although many believing women often approached Muhammad offering him themselves in marriage, he politely turned down their offers. Most of his wives after the death of Khadijah were old, devoid of beauty, and previously married, except `A’ishah, who was the only young virgin. He married from other nations and religions; some were the daughters of his worst enemies, and his marriage to one woman won all her people into Islam. Regardless of his neutral feelings towards many of them, he was a model example of equal justice and kindness to them all, and he would never discriminate among them.

Who Were the Prophet’s Wives?
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) married 12 wives in his life. When he died he had 9 wives. They have a very special status in the hearts of Muslims as the “Mothers of the Believers,” as the Qur’an instructs, and they are the source of a great amount of wisdom which they learned while living close to such a great man. Perhaps you’d like to research a bit to find their beautiful stories, so here are their names: Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Sawdah bint Zam’ah, `A’ishah bint Abi Bakr, Hafsah bint `Umar ibn Al-Khattab, Zaynab bint Khuzaymah, Umm Salama, Zaynab bint Jahsh, Juwayriah bint Al-Harith, Umm Habibah, Safiyah bint Huyay ibn Akhtab, Maymunah bint Al-Harith, Maria the Copt.

Can We Consider His Marriage to `A’ishah a Case of Child Molestation?
To answer your speculation, let’s continue our objective trip into the past. Obviously, when traveling back in time 1400 years to examine a lifestyle we never witnessed, it is unfair to apply our present day standards, so let’s listen to the experts. Authentic historical records prove that the social traditions of the time and place—regardless of religion—considered Arab females as women as soon as their menstrual cycles began. The custom was to give daughters in marriage at that age. This was practiced by all dwellers in Arabia before Islam: pagans, disbelievers, Jews, and others. It’s a fact that female menstruation in hot climates starts much earlier than in cold climates, so females in Arabia matured as early as 8 or 9; they also aged earlier than other women.

It’s a neglected fact that before she was married to Muhammad, `A’ishah had been engaged to an infidel, Jubair ibn Mus’ab ibn Ady. Her fiancé broke the engagement on the basis of religious difference. So her father, Abu Bakr, agreed to give her hand in marriage to the Prophet.

The Great Wisdom in Selecting `A’ishah in Particular as a Young Wife
`A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) came from a house famous for learning and memorizing great quantities of knowledge; her father was a live encyclopedia of Arab tribal pedigrees and poetry. She inherited his ability, and in her young, intelligent, receptive mind, she preserved a precious portion of Islam she learned during seven years of marriage, for 47 years after the death of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and she taught thousands of men worldwide their religion as she had learned it firsthand from the Prophet. To our present day, she is considered among the most prominent Islamic scholars, and she holds extremely high esteem in the hearts of all Muslims as such and as “the beloved of the Prophet,” who often mentioned her as the human he loved the most on the face of this earth. With her, he built a model Muslim home for Muslims to strive to imitate forever.

Was Maria the Copt a Slave, a Concubine, or a Wife of the Prophet?
Slavery already existed long before Islam. It was a system whereby a human captured in wars or kidnapped could be sold as a “possession.” That term applied to both sexes, not to women only. In some cultures slaves were considered subhuman and treated brutally. In Europe, for example, Romans threw Christian slaves to the lions while the public cheered; female slaves were thought to have no souls and were tortured mercilessly; slaves lived in degrading conditions; both sexes were forced to offer sexual favors to their masters; and as “possessions” they had no choice, no will, and no rights.

Islam recognized the human rights of slaves and encouraged Muslims to set slaves free. Islam prohibited adultery and homosexuality, and prevented forcing female slaves into sexual acts against their will. Islam encouraged educating them, setting them free, then legally marrying them and giving them their moral and financial rights. The reward for this—as mentioned in Prophetic Hadith—is eternal residence in Paradise.

Maria (may Allah be pleased with her) was not a concubine; she was a slave owned by Egypt’s Christian governor, who offered her and her sister Serine—among other presents—as a “gift of good will” to the Prophet in reply to his envoys inviting him to Islam. On her way from Egypt to Madinah, she was curious to learn about “her new master” and listened to his Companions talk about him. As a result, she became Muslim before meeting Muhammad. Scholars’ opinions vary of her status afterwards; here is the opinion I support:
One of the prominent Al-Azhar scholars, Sheikh Abdul Majid Subh, states:
“Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), instead of taking concubines, entered into lawful marriages based on reason and wisdom. Maria the Copt was given to him as a present, but rather than taking her as a concubine, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married her, thus elevating her status by marriage.”

Women’s Rights in Islam Surpass Modern Systems
If women in the Muslim World today don’t have their rights, it is not because Islam didn’t give them rights. Alien traditions have overshadowed the teachings of Islam, either through ignorance or the impact of colonialism. Most of the so-called modern reforms in the status of women appeared after the West abandoned religion for secularism. Those in the West who claim to follow the Judeo-Christian tradition really follow the values of Western liberalism.

In England and America less than fifty years ago, a woman could not buy a house or car without the co-signature of a male “guardian”! In Contrast, Islamic Law guaranteed rights to women over 1400 years ago that were unheard of in the West until the 1900s.

Numerous verses of the Qur’an state that men and women are equal in the site of Allah; the only thing that distinguishes people in His site is their level of God-consciousness.

Islam teaches that a woman is a full person under the law, and is the spiritual equal of a male. Women have the right to own property, to operate a business, and to receive equal pay for equal work. Women are allowed total control of their wealth. They cannot be married against their will, and they are allowed to keep their own name when married. They have the right to inherit property and to have their marriage dissolved in the case of neglect or mistreatment. Islam does not consider woman an “evil temptress,” and thus does not blame woman for Original Sin (a doctrine that Islam rejects). Women in Islam participate in all forms of worship that men participate in.

Prophet Muhammad’s mission stopped many of the horrible practices against women that were present in the society of his time. He actually harnessed the unrestricted polygamy of the Arabs of the time, and put many laws in place to protect the well-being of women. In his Farewell Sermon just weeks before his death, he summarized the teachings of Islam to the believers in a final farewell. His last words were “Be kind to women!”
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Umar001
02-29-2008, 03:59 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AvarAllahNoor
I thought the same. Do they go on adding more as the move along...? :X
Wow indeed, if I am not mistaken Prophet Muhammad also made certain fasting only for him, talk about adding to tasks, noone but him was to do it.

Wow, indeed. :phew

Someone please inform me of the fasting he did ascribe as only to himself. If I am not mistaken he told his followers not to fast for Allah is the one who feeds him or something.
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AvarAllahNoor
02-29-2008, 04:03 PM
Thankyou, but I still see no justification of why more than one woman is allowed in this day! I agree with many things in Islam, but this is not one!
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MinAhlilHadeeth
02-29-2008, 04:03 PM
:salamext:

I believe that was fasting continuously for two days. Allaahu A'lam.
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AvarAllahNoor
02-29-2008, 04:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Faizah
:salamext:

I believe that was fasting continuously for two days. Allaahu A'lam.
Why are you on a deleting spree on all of my posts?
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Ibn Al Aqwa
02-29-2008, 04:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AvarAllahNoor
Thankyou, but I still see no justification of why more than one woman is allowed in this day!
Justify why it shouldnt be.
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02-29-2008, 04:10 PM
edit
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MinAhlilHadeeth
02-29-2008, 04:14 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AvarAllahNoor
Why are you on a deleting spree on all of my posts?
I believe a clear reason was given for every post. If the reasons were ambiguous, then contact me privately - stop protesting in public, as this against the forum rules.
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AvarAllahNoor
02-29-2008, 04:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by -Ibn Al Aqwa-
Justify why it shouldnt be.
Because it's 'muslim' men who think they have a right to more than one woman, that's why! - It's greed, insatiable men who can't control sexual desires. This isn't what Allah decreed, but minds of perverts!
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MinAhlilHadeeth
02-29-2008, 04:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AvarAllahNoor
Because it's 'muslim' men who think they have a right to more than one woman, that's why! - It's greed, insatiable men who can't control sexual desires. This isn't what Allah decreed, but minds of perverts!
How can you say this from the minds of men, when this is written clearly in the Qur'aan, and was practiced by the Prophet salAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallam? Allaah Ta'aala says regarding the Prophet salAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallam:

وَمَا يَنطِقُ عَنِ الْهَوَى

إِنْ هُوَ إِلَّا وَحْيٌ يُوحَى


"Nor does he speak of (his own) desire. It is only an Inspiration that is inspired." [An Najm: 3-4]

So even the Sunnah of the Prophet salAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallam was revelation.
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Umar001
02-29-2008, 04:37 PM
I ask you to keep you presumptions to yourself please. (your 'in the minds of..)

Having more than one wife aint easy, spending time away from a woman you love is hard, knowing that she aint with you.

It is easy to just sit and accuse, but think about it, could there other reasons for the marriages, etc. analyse, don't be quick and jump the gun.
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aysenil
02-29-2008, 05:19 PM
POLYGAMY

Why is a man allowed to have more than one wife in Islam? i.e. why is polygamy allowed in Islam?
Answer:

Definition of Polygamy

1. Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.

Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife?


2. The Qur’an is the only religious scripture in the world that says,"marry only one".


The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives.

In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (95% C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.


3. Hindus are more polygynous than Muslims


The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.

Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife.


4. Qur’an permits limited polygyny


As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ‘marry only one’. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an:

"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one."

[Al-Qur’an 4:3]

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.

In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:

"Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...."

[Al-Qur’an 4:129]

Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:

‘Fard’ i.e. compulsory or obligatory

‘Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged

‘Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed

‘Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged

‘Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.


5. Average life span of females is more than that of males


By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.

During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.


6. India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and infanticide


India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighbouring countries, in which the female population is less than the male population. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males.

7. World female population is more than male population


In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males.

8. Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical


Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband.

Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. All those who are modest will opt for the first.

In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life.

Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second.

There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women...


If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, then why does Islam prohibit a woman from having more than one husband?

Answer:

A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim men to have more than one spouse while denying the same ‘right’ to women.

Let me first state emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice and equity. Allah has created men and women as equal, but with different capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical.

Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verses 22 to 24 gives the list of women with who you can not marry and it is further mentions in Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verse 24 "Also (prohibited are) women already married"

The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam:


1. If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of both parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood. If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names! I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the present.


2. Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman.


3. Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different phases of the menstrual cycle.


4. A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or sexually transmitted diseases which can also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital sex.


The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry.

Reply

Heera Singh
02-29-2008, 07:27 PM
its funny that people will justify polygamy by giving statistics of 'if every man only married 1 woman, then there would be an excess number of women'... which in fact, is the opposite... there are more men in the world then women.. (note: diff countries have diff population demographics)..

if i'm not mistaken, the reason men were allowed to have multiple wives in the Prophets days is because they were always in war, and many men would lose their lives, which left many 'widows'... and then these widows wud be married off to sum1 else who could 'take care' of them..

what we fail to realize is that Muslims were the aggressors in the majority of the wars, and the polygamy thing (in my opinon) was a means to have more male children who would also have become soldiers when they got older, so they could invade and conquer more land etc...

that being said.. i STILL don't agree with that.. its degrading that a man can have more then one wife, but a woman can only have 1 husband... i know many women who have more prominent jobs then their husbands and are better able to take care of a family then men would be...

I agree with AvarAllahNoor when he says its:

It's greed, insatiable men who can't control sexual desires. This isn't what Allah decreed, but minds of perverts!
I'm flabbergasted that a woman, especially in todays world (especially in the western world), would allow her husband to have more then 1 wife... then it goes farther and apparently (from what i'm told) only muslim men are allowed to marry a non-muslim (even if the wife doesn't convert).. but a muslim woman wud never be able to marry a non-muslim..

I mean where to draw the line? i hear so much about 'equality', but this doesn't do justice to it... and i KNOW equality doesn't mean 'the same'... because yes, men and women are different demographics, have different roles in society etc... but, the fact remains that polygamy is almost completely beneficial for the man..

in the above mentioned article it says Islam didn't invent polygamy, but just "regulated" it... but, that still doesn't make it right... in my personal opinion its just an excuse to have more then one wife... to be allowed to fulfill ur sexual desire with more then one woman... its rather disgusting in my opinion...

the above article also mentions that Islam is the only religion that says "marry only one".. so there seems to be a contradiction.. one part says "marry only one", and another part says:

"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one."

[Al-Qur’an 4:3]
so its saying u can have more then 1...
Reply

aamirsaab
03-01-2008, 12:25 PM
:sl:
Polygamy only occurs when there are more women than men. It is very rare to see it nowadays. Usually occurs in tribunal areas. It is not an obligation in Islam. The 4 bit relates to the maximum and there is a condition that has to be met (i.e treating them all equally - very few will ever be able to do that, so very few are going to have a polygamous marriage!) - pretty sure that has been already discussed, just simply reminding you.

Should note that in the Uk polygamy is regarded as a crime (and adultery is not ----> weird innit) Though, should mention that adultery can be used as grounds for divorce.
Reply

Umar001
03-01-2008, 08:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Heera Singh
I agree with AvarAllahNoor when he says its:
I'm flabbergasted that...
And I'm flabbergasted that mere men would use their socially cultivated values and norms, programmed by society with no guarantee of being right as a criterion of what was right and wrong and came from God or not.

Totally baffles me!
Reply

Heera Singh
03-01-2008, 10:20 PM
^^^ huh?
Reply

FatimaAsSideqah
03-01-2008, 10:47 PM
As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) dealt justly with his wives, loved them, fondled them, and was patient and loyal with them. His actions sprang from a feeling of responsibility and because Allah the Almighty has created him righteous and equitable by nature.

Lady A'isha said that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) never preferred one wife more than the others and used to see them all in their homes everyday although he used to spend the night with one only.

Treating his wives with equity never changed according to the change in his conditions. Whether he was traveling or present he was equitable. When he wanted to travel he used to pick without personal preference (through some way like drawing straws) which wife to accompany him.

He used to spend one day and one night with each wife except when Lady Sauda Bint Zam'a reached old age and no longer had sexual desires she dedicated her day and night to Lady A'isha may Allah be pleased with them. By doing so, Lady Sauda was also seeking to please the Prophet (PBUH).

Another form of dealing justly was when the Prophet married a virgin he would stay with her for three nights not to let her feel lonely and then he would spend with her the same as his other wives. When he (PBUH) married Umm Salama he said to her: "There is no lack of estimation for you on the part of your husband. So if you desire I can spend a week with you, and if you like I may spend three (nights) and then I will visit you in turn." She said: "Spend three (nights)." Narrated by Muslim.

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) treated his wife equally even in his last days when he was very sick. He used to go to each of his wives in her turn. Lady A'isha said that when the Prophet became too sick he asked her wives for permission to be nursed at Aisha's. They agreed of course.

Sister Fatima
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