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princessamber30
10-27-2005, 02:02 PM
Aslam walaikum

Well...Ive recently moved to a sixth form college from my high school (which was a girls only) and Im really upset and annoyed at what I see. There are many jilbabi's in my college who smoke, sit on guys laps, touch their faces, use REALLY foul language..and all the rest of the stuff... and the worst thing is they do it publicly. :'( Many of the other students are non-muslim, and the issue is that none of the Muslims say anything. There is so much free mixing etc, and many of the Muslim guys are the one's who provoke or 'flirt' with the hijabi's etc. I myself am a hijabi and I feel by participating in such behaviour not only are the sisters degrading the hijab, but they are not representing islam in the right manner. The main problem is that I can't say anything as many of them have 'attitudes' and I really don't want to get myself beaten up or anything..lol

So what can I do? I feel that because many hijab's and jilbabi's have adopted this kind of behaviour that people will not respect me for being a hijabi (as in treat me islamically) and that many of the males will think I'm just like the rest of them. I really don't know how I'm meant to approach these people, or how I'm meant to cope with this, because when I see what they do...AstagfurAllah but it really makes my blood boil!

Any advice?

JazakAllah :love:
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ummAbdillah
10-27-2005, 08:28 PM
salaam sis
i kno how u fell :(
there a lot off muslim gurls hu act like dat
at my skool as well, and its ramadan as well
may allah s.w.t guide them
wasalaam :p
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Umm Yoosuf
10-27-2005, 08:41 PM
Assalaamu Alaikum sister

Allah guide whomever He wills to the right path.

How about you organise a talk in your sixform.
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Protected_Diamond
10-27-2005, 08:58 PM
i know exactly what you mean about muslims having attitudes especially those who aren't really islamic,they just muslims by name Allah s.w.a knows best. I guess if a brother does talk to you in that way just make them feel embarassed and say somthing like aren't you ashamed you're asking your sister in islam that kinda question...and so on...insha Allah he will get the message, and as for the sisters well nothing can be done unless you want to get into an argument which isn't really good. i mean im talking from experience if you warn the brothers n sisters abt the right path they throw it back in your face sis so just do what you think is best.

insha Alllah Allah s.w.a wil give u the courage and the strength ameen
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eyes_of_mine
10-27-2005, 09:04 PM
Thats totally shocking !
I would never of thuoght such things happen like that , even when I was at school we never acted like that then (million years ago), so to hear that hijab-jilbab wearing girls are acting like this is a shock.

I think you should organise a talk, thats if they will come to it, or tell the imaan of the local mosque in your area and get him to come and do a suprise suprise talk.
get some more girls who feel the same way, If I was there I would DEFIANTLY ask them what are they playing at.
Reply

~*Sister*~
10-27-2005, 10:43 PM
Salaam Sister,

inshallah Allah Well guide them to the right path, And i pray for u to be alrite sis, Talk about islam sis preach about islam and one day they wel realise that they are doing wrong, Be careful. when i was at school life was different we didnt know nothing, and going out felt like a major crime and it is in islam.

Take care sis do ur best to ovoid, but speak to a imam or someone who can come to ur school and advice these sisters to practice islam.

any time u need to talk to me just hola at me

Allah ma'ak Salaam
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gladTidings
10-28-2005, 12:15 AM
:sl:

This scene has become a popular one in many colleges, and yes it is quite sickening. I was in the same position as you, moving from an all girls high school to a mixed college; i was afraid my imaan would be effected by the influence around me. . . but Alhamdullilah it made me stronger. When i saw how low the muslims had reached, it made me want to strive more.

I felt i was amongst the very few practicing muslims in my college which made the transition quite difficult and I never considered preaching for various reasons.

By the end of the first year it became quite clear which muslims were worth knowing (coincidently the most intelligent students) and which werent. Still I came to know most of the muslims, i realised that preaching was not always needed because sometimes your own actions are recognised and considered by the people around you and sometimes this is all that is needed for others to wake up and realise what they are doing is wrong. I didnt waste too much time with these kind of people but left them in doubt of their own actions.

My advice to you is to concentrate on your own imaan and find ways to build a connection with Allah in everything that you do. Make your purpose of being at the college clear to yourself and to those around you (you are there simply to study). No one will hassle you.. and you'll find that muslims along with non-muslims will come to respect you, for your intentions and your actions as a sincere muslim. By correctly potraying the image of Islam inshAllah you will be participating in a form of dawa, earning respect and inspiring others.

:w:
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princessamber30
10-30-2005, 09:40 AM
JazakAllah for your replies, its really helped me!:D

May Allah fullfill all your wishes.:love:
Reply

h1jabi_sista
10-31-2005, 07:30 PM
:sl: sis!!!!! :smile:

u arite there? lol
subhanallah, its a very difficult issue to tackle. People dont like being told what to do, i would try to talk to some of them, let them know without making them feel 'lectured' or 'pressured'.

inshallah dont worry about your hijab too much. You set the good example and others will follow. These girls may degrade the hijab but allah is full of mercy and we have to pray that allah will guide them straight.

allah knows best
:sister: :w:
Reply

solid_snake
11-06-2005, 03:34 AM
you think they are bad, look at this:

*Warning*

------
:mad:


MODERATOR'S COMMENT: POSTING PORN ON THE FORUM IS ONE OF THE WORST VIOLATIONS POSSIBLE!
Reply

azim
11-06-2005, 03:39 AM
Originally Posted by solid_snake
you think they are bad, look at this:

*Warning*
-LINK-

:mad:
Bro, I really really really think that isnt appropriate. A mod will remove it as soon as they see it, save them the trouble and remove it yourself.
Reply

solid_snake
11-06-2005, 03:40 AM
Originally Posted by azim
Bro, I really really really think that isnt appropriate. A mod will remove it as soon as they see it, save them the trouble and remove it yourself.
so we just solve the problem by ignoring it,eh? brilliant idea :-\
Reply

Ansar Al-'Adl
11-06-2005, 03:58 AM
:sl:
How on earth does it solve the problem if you spead their sinful material?! You shouldn't be looking at that filth in the first place and thinking that it will help by sharing it with others is sheer foolishness.

:w:
Reply

F.Y.
11-06-2005, 05:19 AM
Sister
I understnad how you feel. When you talk to the girls, make sure your aklaaq are of the highest degree, and befriend them, send them islamic emails etc.
Maybe you could organise a talk? You do the talking of course - and i have always found it very uplifting when you have a revert speak about the choices they have made. Maybe you could invite somebody over to speak, inshallah the girls will have mroe knowledge at the end.
Remember to give sallam to them even if you dont know them and smile and just be ...nice. If they're talking about something and it reminds you of a story from the time of the propeht (saw), tell them, kindly.
Reply

~*~Serene~*~
11-06-2005, 05:46 AM
Originally Posted by F.Y.
Maybe you could organise a talk? You do the talking of course - .
u can't be serious:ooh: . why should she put herself at risk ?and stick her nose in so deep ?
Reply

h1jabi_sista
11-06-2005, 01:48 PM
:sl:

you kind of have a point. Ive known girls who have tried to help one another come to islam and have done nothing but cause damage to their iman. You have to be careful to protect your iman. Its a very tricky issue....i think the youth, both male and female, need to find islam spiritually. They're fasting, they're praying but they dont know why!! or what the significane of it is.

Inshallah we have to pray for them, we have to do dawah to them and inshallah be good examples for them, good role models of muslim men and women so that if they need help, they CAN rely on us inshallah.

allah hu alum

:sister: :sl:
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DaSangarTalib
11-06-2005, 08:08 PM
Tauba Tuauba!
Reply

salehah
11-06-2005, 10:05 PM
Salaam everyone!

This is really sickening !!
i think the reason behind it could be the FORCING of hijab !!
many wear it either being forced from their society or their families!
I know poeple think, especially muslims, that it's their responsibility to raise their kids in such an such way...but they have to understand "forcing" will never help..
the prophets couldn't force their children into something how can we??
And Allah SWT never forced anyone to do anything WHY people do?
I don't understand!
Allah says...
"LA IKRAHA FIDDEEN"
means there's no compultion in the religion!
we should preach and show the right direction and leave it on th individual to decide which path to take..
in that way i think evrything will be in black and white..

that's how i think!
wasalaam
Reply

Ansar Al-'Adl
11-07-2005, 01:25 AM
:sl:
I would agree with Salehah in that many people may be forced to follow certain rulings (eg. hijab) before having the beauty and purpose of the practice explained to them so that they may appreciate it.

:w:
Reply

F.Y.
11-07-2005, 08:18 AM
Originally Posted by Zulekha
u can't be serious:ooh: . why should she put herself at risk ?and stick her nose in so deep ?
Put herself at risk of what exactly? Sometimes we have a responsibility towards one another.
But you are probably right - there may be a backlash of some sort. Yes, maybe you should try something else out princessamber, something less 'out there', that wouldn't 'stir the pot' so much.
I agree that the reason why this could happen is that the girls are wearing it just for the sake of it - without realising its value. Education, education, education....
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libertymouse73
11-17-2005, 01:31 AM
OK, so I agree with Salehah but we also have to think. SOme of these girls might be forced because of issues they have had in the past. so would their actions today suprise us? I know a girl who had a rep for doing things unislamic. When some of it got back to her parents she was immediately married at the age of 16! THe guy was 10yrs older and she wasn't even allowd to finish school. Masha allah she later did and here iman is now much better but she has also eluded to the fact that it is not her choice to wear hijab and niqab but her hubby's. How do we deal with that?
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Raizins
02-19-2009, 02:25 PM
May Allah guide them inshAllah.
It's the muslims duty to represent the deen in the best way possible.
It's the youth's most biggest resposibilty, but most are just unaware of the danger and harm they're putting themselves in I guess. They just need to wake up and Idk realize what a bad impression they're putting on themselves as well as the rest of the Ummah.
:(
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Snowflake
02-19-2009, 03:07 PM
I don't think organising a one-off talk would be enough to achieve the desired result. How about starting regular sisters meetings - a halaqa, I think it's called. That way you can get your point across slowly but surely in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere and those who don't attend at first, may inshaAllah follow others who do. May Allah guide us all. Ameen.
Reply

Zamtsa
02-19-2009, 04:48 PM
wa 'alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.

Just print this and put it on their school bag or desks. Smoking is Haram:

1. cause many kinds of sickness
2. Air pollution
3. Endangering other people
4. Wasting your money
5. endangering babies


About sitting on someone laps and foul language:


Al Isra' (17):32 Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil opening the road (to other evils).


Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.
Reply

Erundur
02-19-2009, 05:15 PM
Originally Posted by libertymouse73
I know a girl who had a rep for doing things unislamic. When some of it got back to her parents she was immediately married at the age of 16! THe guy was 10yrs older and she wasn't even allowd to finish school. Masha allah she later did and here iman is now much better but she has also eluded to the fact that it is not her choice to wear hijab and niqab but her hubby's. How do we deal with that?
:sl:

I see the marriage as a slap back to reality, her parents I feel, did something that was necessary to save her in the long run. It does not make sense right now but in due time it will. Like the sister said, since her iman has gotten much better, I equate it to the marriage, samething with the hijab, its better to have it on otherwise her intentions might revert back to her "pre-islamic" days.

:sl:
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Erundur
02-19-2009, 05:27 PM
Originally Posted by princessamber30
many of the Muslim guys are the one's who provoke or 'flirt' with the hijabi's etc.
:sl:

This is the problem, the blame can go to many of the sisters, but I feel the real culprits behind this are the MUSLIM GUYS, in order for many of the muslims living in the west especially in the teens and the 20s the guys have to be pious and lead a righteous life, because otherwise what they do is exploit the muslim women like you've mentioned and just have 'fun' with them is all and nothing more and the women's modesty becomes compromised. :hmm:

Just pray to Allah (swt) to help safeguard your iman and protect your modesty, and try to talk to some of the sisters the more 'open' minded ones that are doing these actions, sometimes the acts that they commit are from the environments that they are exposed to at home. Especially with the cultural gap with some of the parents not understanding the british way of life allows such muslims to have a identity crisis. And instead of confronting the issue, they make the child to just obey them and not actually guide them. That or they are worried to much about this dunia and only care about making money, some of things we have materially may seem nice but when mom and dad are not at home and are at work, the kids will go somewhere else for comfort mainly in non-muslim areas or something.


Sometimes we crave so much attention that we put ourselves out there and all we really needed was to feel, for once, important. So we could have some meaning of honesty, care, warmth, and above all love, because no one ever made us feel like that before.
:sl:
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-Elle-
02-19-2009, 10:43 PM
Sub7an'Allah, I just keep on hearing(and seeing) stories similiar to this(although, i think your situation might be worst...to an extent).

Sis, insh'Allah you never get influenced by this, and don't ever be shy to stand up to what you believe in. If some guy talks to you or erm..does something? innappropriate, you can explain it to him why YOU don't do such things, and why such things aren't permissible.

They might say" But so and so does, it, why not you?"

And then follows the explanation. I've had to do this pleeeenty of times. Dear Lord. but, never get tierd of it, it's important that these people see that even if "everyone" is doing it, doesn't mean "it's O.K".(that was a quote I used many times:D)

As for how you can help your muslim sisters out...awh that is very noble of you:), if you feel you are capable, try to speak to one of these girls, preferably if you have a friend among them, not in a critical manner, but in a way of incomprehension. Ask them why they behave in such a way,then tell them that your door is open to them anytime:).(it works...not with everyone, but it works!)

Lastly, make Du'ah to Allah(swt) to guide our muslim bros & sis...it truly saddens me when I see/hear such things, to an extent where..where I kind of get depressed at times(when I see people I know and love behave in such a way)... in the end,don't judge,that Allah(Swt) will do in its proper time,and be there for anyone who needs your help...

Remember, no one's perfect,everyone makes mistakes, and Allah is Forgiving.:)
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aminahjaan
02-19-2009, 11:33 PM
Siss! You're not alone
I've seen some hijabis that can turn out to be kinda nasty...publicly
make yourself an example.
Life your live, and let Allah judge them because what ever they do, shouldn't affect you.
if you really want to help them, I think you should form some type of all girls Qur'an/Islamic class.
I have one and wooow masha'Allah it did wonders for me and for people that needed a little spiritual push.
And tell them to come, don't force them, just say its cool and that they're missing out lol.
Don't worry sis, if Allah wants to guide them he will, just pray for them :)
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Dawud_uk
02-20-2009, 09:49 AM
Originally Posted by princessamber30
Aslam walaikum

Well...Ive recently moved to a sixth form college from my high school (which was a girls only) and Im really upset and annoyed at what I see. There are many jilbabi's in my college who smoke, sit on guys laps, touch their faces, use REALLY foul language..and all the rest of the stuff... and the worst thing is they do it publicly. :'( Many of the other students are non-muslim, and the issue is that none of the Muslims say anything. There is so much free mixing etc, and many of the Muslim guys are the one's who provoke or 'flirt' with the hijabi's etc. I myself am a hijabi and I feel by participating in such behaviour not only are the sisters degrading the hijab, but they are not representing islam in the right manner. The main problem is that I can't say anything as many of them have 'attitudes' and I really don't want to get myself beaten up or anything..lol

So what can I do? I feel that because many hijab's and jilbabi's have adopted this kind of behaviour that people will not respect me for being a hijabi (as in treat me islamically) and that many of the males will think I'm just like the rest of them. I really don't know how I'm meant to approach these people, or how I'm meant to cope with this, because when I see what they do...AstagfurAllah but it really makes my blood boil!

Any advice?

JazakAllah :love:
:sl:

enjoin the good and forbid the evil, and call others to do the same who are avoiding these evils themselves.

start nice and simple, be friendly but firm in saying these things are wrong, keep pushing gently and try to form a jammat of brothers and sisters doing the same.

:sl:
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