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m_2005
10-30-2005, 10:26 PM
:sl:

Without being judgemental or anything, I was just thinking about something I've noticed.

There is so much intermingling of the sexes in todays Ummah. Alhamdulillah there are many that stay away from all this, but then there are soo many that are involved in all this evil, girls with hijabs, girls without hijab, guys with beards, guys becoming hafiz, guys becoming Aalim..... It's just worrying that there is sooo much of this evil being done openly... Alhamdulillah I've been able to stay away from all that

So I was just thinkin, what can be done to stop this, cos it'll get worse as generations go by....

Jazakallah

P.S. I was not saying everyone is bad, but I'm just concerned.......
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minaz
10-30-2005, 10:30 PM
Well using the term "evil" is not going to change such a persons way, it'll proabably encourage them. Yes you are right that the ummah should be concerned, however it's a grass root problem along with peer pressures. One major way in takling this is as PM Blair would say is "Education, education, education" :)
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
10-31-2005, 03:18 PM
Originally Posted by islamonline
:ooh: nah needed 50 posts, but still i cant listen to the anasheeds :(
:sl:

Not to get off topic, but after u get 50 posts, it takes about an hour for the transition from limited to full member so Patience! :smile:
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h1jabi_sista
10-31-2005, 07:17 PM
:sl:

i have to agree with you, its worrying and upsetting cuz you think, 'hold on a minute!! these are my brothers and sisters!!'

but i think that what our brothers and sisters need is to know that there are people out there they can talk, without feeling like they're getting a lecture.

i also think its up to parents to set the example to them. These kids are getting confused with islam and cultures. They want to be so many things at that age, subhanallah they really need to know who they are, where they come from and what really is their purpose in life? is it to become that doctor? or is it to become that engineer?

inshallah the third option is to do dua for our younger generations. dua is the most effective weapon and allah swt love those who do dua.

May allah guide those who are misguided and may allah send his mercy upon the muslim ummah. ameen

:sister:

:w:
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Desai
10-31-2005, 09:13 PM
:sl:
It is rather unfortunate that sin and evil has become so common nowadays that people don't even regard sin as sin anymore and how true are the words of our beloved Rasul (SAW), that a time will dawn upon man that Zina (adultery) will become so widespread that the most pious man in this world will be that person who witnesses two people doing evil on the
street pavement. This person (the pious one) would go up to them and say to them that go and do your action behind a tree, he will not stop them from the evil rather he would tell them that instead of doing it in front of everybody, go and do your actions behind a tree. Today, we are presently experiencing the minor and major adultery being done openly, everywhere without any prohibition or obstruction.

May Allah save us
:w:
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baby_muslimah15
10-31-2005, 09:23 PM
Ya I feel ya, I waz at this confrence in Jersey...And all these dudes were talking to the gurlz and vice versa, sum of them even tried 2 talk 2 me.....May Allah guide us all and them Ameen~~~ BTW, if you see this happening then talk 2 them in a kind way, and tell them that they should fear Allah, and they should know that He sees and hears everything!!!!Hollaz
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Genius
10-31-2005, 10:10 PM
Sometimes i talk to ugly girls if they have pretty friends is this counted as intermingling aswell?
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minaz
10-31-2005, 10:15 PM
:giggling: :giggling: :giggling: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ;D ;D ;D
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aamirsaab
10-31-2005, 10:22 PM
:sl:
Originally Posted by m_2005
:sl:

Without being judgemental or anything, I was just thinking about something I've noticed.

There is so much intermingling of the sexes in todays Ummah. Alhamdulillah there are many that stay away from all this, but then there are soo many that are involved in all this evil, girls with hijabs, girls without hijab, guys with beards, guys becoming hafiz, guys becoming Aalim..... It's just worrying that there is sooo much of this evil being done openly... Alhamdulillah I've been able to stay away from all that

So I was just thinkin, what can be done to stop this, cos it'll get worse as generations go by....

Jazakallah

P.S. I was not saying everyone is bad, but I'm just concerned.......
You have a good point - i know many of the one's you describe (not naming any names - i dont want to get shot). I think, personally, it stems from bad parenting (yeah, i blame a lot of things on parents - 9/11 being one of em :p) as they obviously haven't taught their children the basics.

You have to take into account, however, what exactly happens when intermingling occurs - e.g. it its like touching for example then thats a big fat no. Personally, I think talking isn't gonna do much harm, unless of course your practicing your "pimpin" skills. In which case, also a big fat no. The way i see it: you wanna talk to me, i'll talk. :)

As far as the hijab thing and beard goes - many of them, i think, haven't been properly taught. e.g. they may not have learnt the reasons to why we should have a bear (for males)/wear hijab (fo females). fortunately, the mosque i go to does tell us. perhaps not everyone is as fortunate as me?
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*charisma*
11-01-2005, 12:47 AM
Assalamu Alaikum

The bad thing about all of this is ppl make it public, i mean its not like private is better, its just that it might influence others to sin as well. Thats whats wrong with ppl these days, the ummah is messing itself up and they try to blame it on the "west". if ur a true muslim, it doesnt matter where ur at as long as u keep ur religious duties to Allah and lessen ur sins. fitnah is everywhere u go and if u think about it is it worth it. Judgement day is equivalent to 50,000 years and thats just FOR ONE DAY! thats not even the length of our time on this earth, those who keep their sins private and away from the public, Allah will keep them from humilation on the day of judgement subhanallah. Many a times ppl that have grown up in a religious home, will hold religious attributes, and others struggle. I mean thats what ive seen. like i have a cousin, who sees his parents praying everyday mashallah, its not surprising to see him stand next to them and mimic the way they are praying or to see a lil girl put on hijab because she sees her mom do it everyday. and if u take it so that kids see only old ppl like there grandparents into the religion then their view is that ur only sppsd to get all religious when ur old and wrinkly...subhanallah how the human mind works

fi aman Allah
w'salaam
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ChasingRainbows
11-01-2005, 02:17 AM
Salam Alaikum,

Solution: If you are a girl or a guy it is best to put on a front where you look like you are totally unapproachable. This is one solution to a side of intermingling which has to do with people of the opposite gender talking to you. The more people are intimidated by you the more they will stay away. but only be unapproachable with members of the opposite sex but be friendly to your fellow sisters or brothers.
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eyes_of_mine
11-01-2005, 02:56 AM
ohhhhh ufffff !
What ever happened to trusting yourself ? why must you be intimidating to 'scare ppl away' this is madness, I already think the world has gone mad, this thread confirms it.
Just trust yourself, what more do you need ?
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Safa
11-01-2005, 03:24 AM
:sl:
Originally Posted by ChasingRainbows
Salam Alaikum,

Solution: If you are a girl or a guy it is best to put on a front where you look like you are totally unapproachable.
I would look at it differently. You don't have to be unapproachable all the time. There is no need to act like someone's after you unless you want them to be. It's all about self control. Knowing your boundaries and practicing self control is all you need to prevent free-mixing. Being intimidating implies being rude in a way. I don't think one should blame or punish others for one's own weakness.

:w:
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ChasingRainbows
11-01-2005, 04:26 PM
Originally Posted by desertroze
:sl:

I would look at it differently. You don't have to be unapproachable all the time. There is no need to act like someone's after you unless you want them to be. It's all about self control. Knowing your boundaries and practicing self control is all you need to prevent free-mixing. Being intimidating implies being rude in a way. I don't think one should blame or punish others for one's own weakness.

:w:
It is a suggestion yeah it is about self-control and knowing your boundaries looking unapproachable helps too, just cuz you know your boundaries and have self-control don't mean that everyone is going to respect it, there is always that one guy or girl who will not respect your boundaries cuz they are lacking in self control. I guess that is why it says in the quran not to talk softly to members of the opposite sex because they might have diseased hearts. I'm pretty sure Allah didn't command the prophets wives to do this because they were lacking in self-retraint or because they were supposed to punish people because of it. I hope you see where I'm trying to go with this. But at the end of the day if you are ugly you can rely on self-control and knowing your boundaries being secure that no one will cross them.
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Safa
11-01-2005, 04:42 PM
Originally Posted by ChasingRainbows
ok you are being rude there miss desertroze with your assumptions. you don't know the first thing about me so please no insinuations about me lacking self control or me punishing others for my weaknesses. what is with the character assassination and that too in ramadan. I just offered a suggestion yeah it is about self-control and knowing your boundaries looking unapproachable helps too.
:sl:
Calm down sister. First of all, I wasn't attacking you, I looked at your post to be a general suggestion and I didn't assume that you would act that way and why would I when I don't even know you. I'm sorry If you perceived it that way but it wasn't my intention to offend you.
So much for trying to have a decent discussion....

:w:
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ChasingRainbows
11-01-2005, 04:47 PM
Salam Alaikum,

Alright I guess I wasn't in a good mood after all.
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h1jabi_sista
11-01-2005, 05:40 PM
Originally Posted by eyes_of_mine
ohhhhh ufffff !
What ever happened to trusting yourself ? why must you be intimidating to 'scare ppl away' this is madness, I already think the world has gone mad, this thread confirms it.
Just trust yourself, what more do you need ?
:sl: :sister:

lol, Trusting in allah is an effective ingredient that comes to mind:smile:

:w:
Reply

eyes_of_mine
11-01-2005, 06:56 PM
Good advice desterroze !
And to Hijabi sista it really goes without saying 'trust in allah' which of course is THEE essential MUST have ingrediant for any situation.

I look at it like this if I see a handsome brother I look the other way as I find him attractive and I would HATE to think Im looking at him with my tongue hanging out ewwww ! Its nasty when we see brothers gawping at us, salvating at the mouth and I dont wanna look like that.

But however if I dont have any strong attraction to a brother, I can easily ask him the time, directions, hold a conversation , be polite and kind at all times. there si no need to act like an ignorant and try to intimidate him and make him feel like he is nothing, this is cruel method, I do not like the harshness in it.

If you need to put a brother off from trying to chat to you just say salam alykum, smile and walk off and dont answer his calls, no need to be mean to brothers, and if a brother acted mean with me I will surely think what an homer (donkey)

Reminds me actually lastnight as I was waiting to go inside masjid for Taraweeh , I found myself standing alone with a brother and his kid, it was like he was terrified all of a sudden, I think he was thinking ohhhh hope no one comes along and see's me and this sister standing togeather ,sheltering from the rain waiting for taraweeh.

Someone of course will correct me but is not asked of us to say Salam Alykum when you see another muslim ?
Do we live in societys where we are all to scared of causing fitnah that we cannot even say salam alykum to each other ?

Well thats how I would deal with those situtations, they might not workfor everyone but they sure work for me.
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Zuko
11-01-2005, 07:23 PM
Originally Posted by Genius
Sometimes i talk to ugly girls if they have pretty friends is this counted as intermingling aswell?
:omg3: *shakes head in pity*
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h1jabi_sista
11-01-2005, 08:00 PM
Originally Posted by Genius
Sometimes i talk to ugly girls if they have pretty friends is this counted as intermingling aswell?
:sl:

Read the question out loud to yourself...what do you think bro?
I feel that poor girl who has been degraded the title of 'ugly'

And may allah guide her and those astray to the even way. ameen

:sister: :w:
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minaz
11-01-2005, 09:31 PM
It's been interesting reading all these views on opposite genders as this is one thing most non-muslims seem not to understand - not that I can't blame them
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ChasingRainbows
11-04-2005, 06:06 AM
Originally Posted by eyes_of_mine
Good advice desterroze !
And to Hijabi sista it really goes without saying 'trust in allah' which of course is THEE essential MUST have ingrediant for any situation.

I look at it like this if I see a handsome brother I look the other way as I find him attractive and I would HATE to think Im looking at him with my tongue hanging out ewwww ! Its nasty when we see brothers gawping at us, salvating at the mouth and I dont wanna look like that.

But however if I dont have any strong attraction to a brother, I can easily ask him the time, directions, hold a conversation , be polite and kind at all times. there si no need to act like an ignorant and try to intimidate him and make him feel like he is nothing, this is cruel method, I do not like the harshness in it.

If you need to put a brother off from trying to chat to you just say salam alykum, smile and walk off and dont answer his calls, no need to be mean to brothers, and if a brother acted mean with me I will surely think what an homer (donkey)

Reminds me actually lastnight as I was waiting to go inside masjid for Taraweeh , I found myself standing alone with a brother and his kid, it was like he was terrified all of a sudden, I think he was thinking ohhhh hope no one comes along and see's me and this sister standing togeather ,sheltering from the rain waiting for taraweeh.

Someone of course will correct me but is not asked of us to say Salam Alykum when you see another muslim ?
Do we live in societys where we are all to scared of causing fitnah that we cannot even say salam alykum to each other ?

Well thats how I would deal with those situtations, they might not workfor everyone but they sure work for me.
I guess things start to become problematic when people start thinking, acting, talking liberally and start to agree with each other. you can count me out of this 'good advice, well said, I agree wid you fest'. really! :mad:
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minaz
11-04-2005, 09:47 AM
Someone of course will correct me but is not asked of us to say Salam Alykum when you see another muslim ?
Yeh I say salaams to brothers 95% of the time, whenever wherever, and I began saying it to sisters an all few months back- no idea if this is allowed. However, I feel it's a good thing, as in this period of humanity our sisters are most vunrable to hostility, so saying salaam to them (granted I don't have a long beard nor waer the traditional look - unless topshop counts :p) I reckon brings a bit more safety for them as they now a fellow muslim is around and more importantly isn't ignorant towards them.
Do we live in societys where we are all to scared of causing fitnah that we cannot even say salam alykum to each other ?
This is a good question, the danger is that if one gets tooo fundamental about this then if, no when, a situation comes along everythign is blown out of proportion - "oh god she asked me for the time, I won't be able to control my feeling we have to get married". Lol yeh silly example but you know what I mean - I hope!
I guess things start to become problematic when people start thinking, acting, talking liberally and start to agree with each other
What problems have occured?
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Genius
11-04-2005, 09:49 AM
Originally Posted by minaz
What problems have occured?
Well think about it, what happens when you see a woman you really like?
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Muezzin
11-04-2005, 09:54 AM
Originally Posted by Genius
Well think about it, what happens when you see a woman you really like?
I'm not allowed to go into it on an Islamic Forum. :p

Seriously, I don't agree with being a jerk to the opposite sex. Hanging around with your own gender, much, much more, I do agree with, but Islam tells us to be polite and courteous not a flippin' butthead. :p
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minaz
11-04-2005, 10:03 AM
lol true, besides all women are beautiful and as mine and Muezzin's motto goes "life is fitnah"
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h1jabi_sista
11-04-2005, 11:57 AM
:sl:

humm... interesting...

i dont know what to think about saying 'as salam alikum' to the opposite gender, because ive always learnt that a pious women should lower her gaze, and a pious man should do the same.

i would find it odd if a brother said salaam to me, but i would find it more respectful if her looked down and walked passed me.

im rather confused now about this, a sista and a brother have allah for their safety and allah as their protector. Then who is the best of those who grant saftey??

:smile: brother, life is a fitnah, but i can tell you, its not as bad as what going to come. subhanallah

:sister:

allah knows best
:w:
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