Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings

[Muezzin]

:sl:

lol...metal gear solid..not out yet...already into it? jus like my 15 year old brother..

:w:

MGS is one of the greatest games ever. I've been into it since it came out on PSOne :shade:

Still haven't played the old ones, 'Metal Gear' and 'Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake', though.

Next!

[x Maz x]

Muezzin Y did I just get aired by you *sniff sniff*...I asking for your help and u diss meh hai hai shameee on u...Peace x

[Muezzin]

Sorry, I didn't see it.

Authentic Pakistani balls.
LOOOOOOOOL @ YA AKHI!...Muezzin I gots a head ach causa de heat :( Helpppppppp

Anadin is your friend.

Also, try to wear a hat or something when you go out into the sun.

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[x Maz x]

Why thanku Muezzin bhai JazakAllah Khair, Anadin it is! *thumbs up*...but a hat??? what bout hijaab ;) Peace x

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[Muezzin]

Why thanku Muezzin bhai JazakAllah Khair, Anadin it is! *thumbs up*...but a hat??? what bout hijaab ;) Peace x

As long as it covers your forehead, you could even wear a bucket.

(isn't that smiley 'fitnah'?)

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[x Maz x]

Lol @ Buket muhahaha, tried that dun work :(...U tell meh, tis yo thread ryt? ijiots lyk meh supposed 2 ask q's den ijiots lyk u answer them...In this case i din mean it in erm flirtatious way? is dat ryt so erm i dun fink so :)...Peace x

[Muezzin]

Hey, as long as you're not insulting my mother or posting off-topic, say what you want here.

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[Helena]

:sl:

erm feeling abit low, moody, quiet,, dunno y...... hw do i get rid of it?

:w:

[x Maz x]

Hey, as long as you're not insulting my mother or posting off-topic, say what you want here.

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Looooool! Muezzin where doya get your humour from? Inherited variation or environmental? lol..Peace x

[Muezzin]

:sl:

erm feeling abit low, moody, quiet,, dunno y...... hw do i get rid of it?

:w:

Sit down by yourself somewhere quiet whenever you can. Lie down, even. If I feel like that, I just try to stay away from others for a while.

Looooool! Muezzin where doya get your humour from? Inherited variation or environmental? lol..Peace x

My mum says my humour's quite dry, like hers, so it could be either/or.

I prefer to think I get it from watching 'House' so much. If I was a doctor, I'd act like that guy.

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[Helena]

shukran...but sitting alone in one place...jus bring thoughts back...kinda make it worse...i dunno....see am talking rubbish....jus wanna go saudi arabia man wallahi......wanna b der.......

yeap the possible answer to stay away frm ppl....jazaks..

[x Maz x]

My mum says my humour's quite dry, like hers, so it could be either/or.

I prefer to think I get it from watching 'House' so much. If I was a doctor, I'd act like that guy.

Next!

Lol, MashAllah I suppose, You prefer? Its a dream lol...If you was but your not so get over it lol...Are you studying Muezzin? Waslaams x

[Pk_#2]

AsalamuAlaykum,

sowi late jazakhala bro! :)

urmmm maz darlin wah u on? Inherited variation or environmental? nuu uhhh We 'Monkeys' are not humorous at all...and YES we are monkeys ...according to r gud ol' pal Mr.Darwin.

aight Tc walaykumSalaam all.

[Muezzin]

Lol, MashAllah I suppose, You prefer? Its a dream lol...If you was but your not so get over it lol...Are you studying Muezzin? Waslaams x

I'm two thirds of the way through my law degree. Results next week. Hoo-boy.

AsalamuAlaykum,

sowi late jazakhala bro!

urmmm maz darlin wah u on? Inherited variation or environmental? nuu uhhh We 'Monkeys' are not humorous at all...and YES we are monkeys ...according to r gud ol' pal Mr.Darwin.

Actually, according to Mr Darwin, we're descended from apes, not monkeys. Monkeys have tails.

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[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Oi Muezzin.... what's a brommie and am I one?

[Umu 'Isa]

:sl:
whats marmite?
is that like vegemite?

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Marmite... is.... DISGUSTING!

[Muezzin]

Oi Muezzin.... what's a brommie and am I one?

A Brummie is:

A) someone from Birmingham who acts dippy

B) Someone who acts dippy

You decide.

As for a brommie, I have no idea what you are talking about.

Hmm, where are those hadiths about backbiting and disrespecting people? Oh well, I do like my deleting sprees.

whats marmite?
is that like vegemite?

Click me!

Next!

[Pk_#2]

I'm two thirds of the way through my law degree. Results next week. Hoo-boy.


Actually, according to Mr Darwin, we're descended from apes, not monkeys. Monkeys have tails.

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urgh bro you actually look at thier butt ?

:giggling: silly!

[Muezzin]

urgh bro you actually look at thier butt ?

:giggling: silly!

You don't have to look at a monkey's butt to see its tail, but feel free to if it floats your boat.

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[Ayesha Rana]

Hmm, where are those hadiths about backbiting and disrespecting people? Oh well, I do like my deleting sprees.
Next!

Look who's talking!
What do you do if you miss your Maths exam?

[Muezzin]

Look who's talking!

:rollseyes

What do you do if you miss your Maths exam?

Commit suicide.

(note: Not really)

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[Ayesha Rana]

Right. What do you do if there is a crazy Mod on the forum?

[Pk_#2]

You don't have to look at a monkey's butt to see its tail, but feel free to if it floats your boat.

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nu uhh...

But now ano wah u do in ur summa holidays!

...urm...dnt giv advice like suicide...jeez u shud kno its haraam :p ....if u miss it u retake duh!

[Muezzin]

Right. What do you do if there is a crazy Mod on the forum?

Have fun. It's me. Yuk yuk.

nu uhh...

But now ano wah u do in ur summa holidays!

I'm working in a legal office in about two weeks.

...urm...dnt giv advice like suicide...jeez u shud kno its haraam ....if u miss it u retake duh!

I see that sarcasm is lost on you.

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[Muezzin]

I'm more stupid...

Because you even considered that possibility, you're not 'more stupid'.

and wah..hehe u guys r most probaly more sane den i am :D

Maybe. I doubt it.

ohh got tummy pains...gna get off n ask ma mummy to rub ma tummy fo meh

Tc all *waves @ mod*

AsalamuAlaykum!!!!

What's this, a post that is polite and respectful that is not from nafy and is posted in this thread?

I think Hell just froze over while pigs flew through its gates or something.

Anyway, get well soon inshallah.

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[Ayesha Rana]

Yippee! Thanks.

[Hijaabi22]

Look who's talking!
What do you do if you miss your Maths exam?

I MISSED MY FIRST EVER GCSE EXAM WAS ICT LAST MODULE I CRIED LIKE HELL LOL FEELIN WAS CRAP!!! BUT HEY HU CARES COS MY A GRADES MADE UP 4 IT

[Hijaabi22]

A Brummie is:

A) someone from Birmingham who acts dippy

B) Someone who acts dippy

hahahahahaha SO TRUE!!! :rollseyes U shudda let ME answer dat!!

[Muezzin]

Hey what about all that horrid stuff you wrote a few pages ago? Did you edit that?

Define 'horrid stuff'. If you mean 'sarcastic comments guaranteed to tick off annoying women and shut them up', I think I left it.

I couldn't check cos of some big 'FORBIDDEN REQUEST' notice that came on the screen.

Ooh, 'Forbidden Request'. It sounds like the title of the new Harry Potter.

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[Ayesha Rana]

:offended: What do you want me to do? Beg?:offended:
Will you please get rid of it I'm serious.

[x Maz x]

Oh btw wa u predcited? fo yo exams? hope tis a* mister! Btw wa duz Minaz do?...ooo n y r uz so childish w/s x

[Hijaabi22]

where can i download loadsa free games for my mob?

[Muezzin]

:offended: What do you want me to do? Beg?:offended:

If you like. Me, I'm satisfied with an apology. :)

Will you please get rid of it I'm serious.

Since you asked so nicely.

Oh btw wa u predcited? fo yo exams? hope tis a* mister!

We don't have predicted grades in uni, however my coursework average is a 2-1. That's one grade below a first class mark. I have no idea how I did in the exams though. Hopefully I'll get a 2-1 overall, inshallah.

Btw wa duz Minaz do?

History, I think.

...ooo n y r uz so childish w/s x

I'm childish? I've been called many things, but that isn't one of them.

Wait a minute, yes it is. But I've also been called 'Bloke-ish'. And 'Race-ish'.

where can i download loadsa free games for my mob?

Tried this place?

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[Ayesha Rana]

fine. I'm sorry. Though i don't see why i should apologise. But if it makes you delete it all then...sorry...sorry...sory...sooorrreeeee!
Now will you delete it?

[Hijaabi22]

wooooooow 2:1 coursework>>>MASHAALLAH!!! I wud LUURRRVVVVV a 2:1 degree but think ill be luki fi i get a 2:2 at the r8 im goin..... unless i work my socks off next year!!! graduate next year inshaAllah!!! Wow wee bumble bee

why didnt u answer my question eh

[Muezzin]

fine. I'm sorry.

Apology accepted.

Though i don't see why i should apologise. But if it makes you delete it all then...sorry

Ah, that's all right.

...sorry

Ah, that's all right.

...sory

Ah, that's all right.

...sooorrreeeee!

Ah, that's all riiiiiiiiiiiight!

Now will you delete it?

Done.

wooooooow 2:1 coursework>>>MASHAALLAH!!! I wud LUURRRVVVVV a 2:1 degree but think ill be luki fi i get a 2:2 at the r8 im goin..... unless i work my socks off next year!!! graduate next year inshaAllah!!! Wow wee bumble bee

Work hard, make dua, inshallah you'll do well. Everyone has the potential to do great things.

why didnt u answer my question eh

I did. I just edited my post. :)

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[Hijaabi22]

cool thanks man

[x Maz x]

We don't have predicted grades in uni, however my coursework average is a 2-1. That's one grade below a first class mark. I have no idea how I did in the exams though. Hopefully I'll get a 2-1 overall, inshallah.

Oh teek, InshAllah u attain yo gd grades n pas de xamz of dis worl n akhirah:)

History, I think.

Oh fine shine das kwl kwl kwl

I'm childish? I've been called many things, but that isn't one of them.

Wait a minute, yes it is. But I've also been called 'Bloke-ish'. And 'Race-ish'.

Add fweek on2 yo list, ur a crakhead man lol...

[Muezzin]

did u ever regretted starting this thread ?

Not really, but sometimes I feel like closing it. :p

lol... i see quite a lot of moderation work here...

Don't remind me...

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[Starseeker]

Not really, but sometimes I feel like closing it. :p
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I would dare you but i doublt you'd have the guts:happy:

[Muezzin]

I would dare you but i doublt you'd have the guts:happy:

Be careful what you wish for.

Thread closed.

...But seriously, from now on, we will be tough on freeposting. The way this thread works is by asking either Minaz or myself for some advice, and we shall provide it in a tongue-in-cheek manner. Anything not conforming to that simple format (including chatting with and/or disrespecting other members) will be deleted. This thread is not a platform for freeposting or idle chit-chat. Now any off-topic posts will be deleted and warnings issued.

That sounds harsh, but it's necessary I'm afraid.

[nafy]

Salaamz

thnx bro

anywayz...i got a problem!!!
ma mums cusin cumin 2 ma house 2mora....she gonna be askin 4 ma rishta i bet u!! lol...n i dont really wanna marry her son hus in pakistan lol
i was finkin of mekin a bad impression of maself...so she dont ask lol...but den i fort....no matta wat am lyk...shes still gonna ask...cus its England das at stake lol jokez......plus mum wont let me mek a bad impression.....i already been warned lol...anywayz....wat do i doooooooooooooo?? lol

w/salaamz :)

[Starseeker]

I KNEW IT!!! You can't bring yourself to close this thread.. ha ha

Back on topic: whats a perpendicualr bisector?!?!?

[Muezzin]

Salaamz

thnx bro

anywayz...i got a problem!!!
ma mums cusin cumin 2 ma house 2mora....she gonna be askin 4 ma rishta i bet u!! lol...n i dont really wanna marry her son hus in pakistan lol
i was finkin of mekin a bad impression of maself...so she dont ask lol...but den i fort....no matta wat am lyk...shes still gonna ask...cus its England das at stake lol jokez......plus mum wont let me mek a bad impression.....i already been warned lol...anywayz....wat do i doooooooooooooo?? lol

w/salaamz :)

Have you discussed this with your mother? If what you're worried about is being married off against your will, surely you can voice your concerns to your parents. No need to make a bad impression - just tackle the problem head on.

I KNEW IT!!! You can't bring yourself to close this thread.. ha ha

I did close it briefly, actually.

Back on topic: whats a perpendicualr bisector?!?!?

I love Google

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[x Maz x]

Muezzin why u such a hippy and deleting ma posts fo?? huh huh?? step away from the computer u tramp lol...Nah I swear i recall you saying sumin long de lines of

Hey, as long as you're not insulting my mother or posting off-topic, say what you want here.

My post was about you, reffering to you so on-topic CHECK
Disn you ummi? Naaah CHECK
So please my ol' cod purchased from the local fishmongers specify why you deleted ma posts :) JazakAllah Khair Peace x

[nafy]

Salaam

Have you discussed this with your mother? If what you're worried about is being married off against your will, surely you can voice your concerns to your parents. No need to make a bad impression - just tackle the problem head on.

well yeh bro...i told her i dont wanna marry frm back home...but still...she goes der gud ppl......i dont care!! lol i didnt say they were bad!! its jus i dont wanna marry sum1 frm der....i got nufin against dem tho!! am so confused!

I did close it briefly, actually.

yeh jus 2 add.....he did close it, actually lol....*shock horror* jokez

[Muezzin]

^Well, you cannot be forced to marry this person. Make it clear to your parents (in a calm and polite way) that you do not wish to marry him, and why.

Muezzin why u such a hippy and deleting ma posts fo?? huh huh?? step away from the computer u tramp lol...Nah I swear i recall you saying sumin long de lines of

My post was about you, reffering to you so on-topic CHECK
Disn you ummi? Naaah CHECK

Well, the rules have changed. This thread is getting out of control. I'm not blaming you.

So please my ol' cod purchased from the local fishmongers specify why you deleted ma posts :) JazakAllah Khair Peace x

That would be telling.

Besides, another mod deleted them. The rules are now strict - only post to ask Minaz or myself a question, not to chat. I understand that members mean no harm if and when they do chat, but we must also bear in mind the essence of this thread is comic advice, not idle chat.

And that's about as much as I want to discuss this particular matter in this particular thread.

Next!

[x Maz x]

Oh BarakAllah feeki fo clearin dat up ...God bless :)...Wa'AlaykumAsalaam I will swiftly retire from this thread, L8az x

[Hijaabi22]

whys this thread gettin so strict its no longer intesretin 2 browse thru no offence muezzin jus sayin how it is

[Muezzin]

whys this thread gettin so strict its no longer intesretin 2 browse thru no offence muezzin jus sayin how it is

Okay, I'll say this one more time:

The purpose of this thread is for Minaz and myself to give comical advice to members. It is not a platform for freeposting and chit-chat. With all due respect, that sort of stuff belongs in the appropriate gender forums or on MSN. :)

Meantime, send in your problems and we'll do our 'best' (nudge nudge) to solve them. Even if our solutions don't work, well... someone will laugh.

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[MinAhlilHadeeth]

A Brummie is:

A) someone from Birmingham who acts dippy

B) Someone who acts dippy

You decide.

As for a brommie, I have no idea what you are talking about.

Hmm, where are those hadiths about backbiting and disrespecting people? Oh well, I do like my deleting sprees.


Next!

Jah that's what I meant. Am i one then? Except for the Birmingham part. I've never even been there.
W'salaam

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Oh.......... and am I really aggressive?
I feel so misunderstood!:'(

[Muezzin]

Jah that's what I meant. Am i one then? Except for the Birmingham part. I've never even been there.
W'salaam

Um... When faced with awkward questions like this, one should just post a picture of a sock monkey and hope for the best:

Anyway, I try not to call people Brummies. If they are not in fact a Brummie, it will offend them, and if they are in fact a Brummie, they will shoot me. :)

Oh.......... and am I really aggressive?
I feel so misunderstood!

You're both. But swap 'agressive' with 'assertive'. That way no one whinges and this thread doesn't go off-topic. Wooh!

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[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Assertive? I like that. Ok.

[nafy]

Salaamz

how do i make sum1 believe da truth bout sumfin...insted of da lies and rumours dat have been spread?!! cus even if da whole world lies...it dont change da truth!!!! aarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh lol help bro plzzzzz!!!

w/salaam :)

[Muezzin]

Salaamz

how do i make sum1 believe da truth bout sumfin...insted of da lies and rumours dat have been spread?!! cus even if da whole world lies...it dont change da truth!!!! aarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh lol help bro plzzzzz!!!

w/salaam :)

Well, if they are lies about someone's behaviour, the best way to prove them false is to act in a way that shows the lies to be false.

Next!

[REPSTER]

:sl:

yo bro i got a problamo you know

no 1 likes u if u aent got the doe

they just tell u to go

this thing effects me so

and it is very hard to get over u know

i try my best to impress the rest

but it is very hard if u aent got the doe

it makes u feel very low

so masters of might

tell me wat is right

i love islam so

and the words easily flow

through 1 ear and out the other

so help me my brother

cause life is such a bother

u r the master of magic and my life is so tragic:

so help me to solve my problimo

or watch your dear little brother go:hiding:


Ps:no 1 cares about limited
:w:

[REPSTER]

:sl:

sorry forgot to finish last word "members":brother:

:w:

[nafy]

Salaamz

awwwwwww cheer up bro bodyguard!!! :) so wat if ur a limited member lol ur still cared 4!! :)

ok bro i got a problem...ma sis told me she wanted 2 get married...n didnt know how 2 say it 2 mom....i sed i'd back her up...so we both went n spoke 2 mum yeh....n now mum sed ok....n she sed 2 BOTH of us get ready 4 marriage next year!!! omg!! lol i was jus helpin ma sis n now am caught up 2!! i wanna get married afta college!!! not yet!!! but she sed she only gonna tek us 2 pakistan once n get us both married off!!! n i dont even wanna marry sum1 frm back der as i have sed!!
help broooooooooooooo!!!

w/salaamz :)

[REPSTER]

:sl:

if u agree with the statment i made "no 1 cares about limited members"
plz have ur say:brother:
:w:

[x Maz x]

Ezzz this a lyrical masta eh eh ;) Luvin it breda MashAllah!...We care about limited members :)...But i leave the advise for Muezzin bhai InshAllah, Ayt Muezzin heres ma problem, well basicali i tin i'm bit mentally disturbd :( Nah seirous talk well basically ma mum gona close net :'( wa shal i do? i tin blakmail buh i cnt reali blkmail own ma so erm wa shal i do man :( Peace x

[REPSTER]

:sl: :sister:

thanks 4 the praise :statisfie

u suit a gangster sista and the name suits u too.:brother:

if people cared about limited member why dont they reply:?

[nafy]

Salaamz

limited members are cared 4 bro!!! :) u jus bein paranoid lol

bro muezzin...where are u??? :'( lol

w/salaamz

[x Maz x]

:sl: :sister:

thanks 4 the praise :statisfie

u suit a gangster sista and the name suits u too.:brother:

if people cared about limited member why dont they reply:?

No problamo, although one should refrain from excessive praise islamically :rollseyes Gangsta sista? LOL, Yup imma ghetto gyal ;) lol jowkin, i'm bout ghetto as ma nan :rollseyes
cant b 2 mucha gangsta if i'm on an islamic forum eh lol
I replyd :) and sis Nafy did ...c we do care :statisfie :)
Peace x

[Muezzin]

:sl:

yo bro i got a problamo you know

no 1 likes u if u aent got the doe

they just tell u to go

this thing effects me so

and it is very hard to get over u know

i try my best to impress the rest

but it is very hard if u aent got the doe

it makes u feel very low

so masters of might

tell me wat is right

i love islam so

and the words easily flow

through 1 ear and out the other

so help me my brother

cause life is such a bother

u r the master of magic and my life is so tragic:

so help me to solve my problimo

or watch your dear little brother go:hiding:


Ps:no 1 cares about limited
:w:

Cool poem. What exactly do you want me to help with? I think you're mistaken if you think no one cares about limited members, as the siters in this thread at least have shown. :) If you're worried about just how the heck you're going to reach that fifty post mark, fear not - just post in the halal fun section for a bit; there's loads to do here.

ok bro i got a problem...ma sis told me she wanted 2 get married...n didnt know how 2 say it 2 mom....i sed i'd back her up...so we both went n spoke 2 mum yeh....n now mum sed ok....n she sed 2 BOTH of us get ready 4 marriage next year!!! omg!! lol i was jus helpin ma sis n now am caught up 2!! i wanna get married afta college!!! not yet!!! but she sed she only gonna tek us 2 pakistan once n get us both married off!!! n i dont even wanna marry sum1 frm back der as i have sed!!
help broooooooooooooo!!!

You're really going to have to discuss it with your parents. I mean, I could give 'advice', but it's just going to come down to talking to them. If it's very serious indeed (as in, you're being forced to marry), I think a sensible answer goes beyond the scope of this thread. Have you tried asking in the Cyber Counselling or Sisters section? Looking for sensible answers in this thread is like looking for the Loch Ness monster in a kitchen sink. :)

Ayt Muezzin heres ma problem, well basicali i tin i'm bit mentally disturbd

I know your pain.

But not really.

Nah seirous talk well basically ma mum gona close net wa shal i do? i tin blakmail buh i cnt reali blkmail own ma so erm wa shal i do man Peace x

What do you mean 'close the net'? Are you feeling something like this poor creature?

Erm... Well, I don't condone blackmailing anybody, let alone one's parents. I do condone and encourage talking to one's parents about the problems one may have. :)

Next!

[afriend]

when is MSG4 gonna be out? is it gonna be on PS3?

[Muezzin]

when is MSG4 gonna be out?

Next year. I've heard rumours it'll be out 7/7/07, but no official word on it barring an interview which says that they're aiming to get a simultaneous release in all territories (US, Europe, Asia etc). The trailer says it'll be out 2007 though, and Kojima's team tends to get their games out on time.

is it gonna be on PS3?

Yep.

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[afriend]

ohh MAN :(

The PS3 is gonna b expensive like hell..

[Muezzin]

ohh MAN :(

The PS3 is gonna b expensive like hell..

Hell's not expensive. Just stop doing good things and you'll get a free ride. :thumbs_up

Note: Don't really be bad people.

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[afriend]

;D ;D Man that was funny...

What is the expected price for the PS3?

[Muezzin]

;D ;D Man that was funny...

What is the expected price for the PS3?

I don't have the answer, but Google does!

Next!

[x Maz x]

I know your pain.

But not really.

:( Muezzin Tankz fo nuin shmelly, was wanting words of reassurance :rollseyes

What do you mean 'close the net'? Are you feeling something like this poor creature?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/3...dolphin150.jpg

Erm... Well, I don't condone blackmailing anybody, let alone one's parents. I do condone and encourage talking to one's parents about the problems one may have. :)

LOOOL! :giggling: Nah u dummy, I meant lyk gonna phone tha net tingy n ask them ta close de connection...Yesh I'm feelin lyk dat :(...HELPPPPPPP :'(
Lol @ ya breda, Hmmm, i prefer ur cocky amusing advise, y u gettn so seirous lol...i wooda fort u tell meh to gve em a sock monkey fo bribery buh obviously not :rollseyes
Anywho Wa'AlaykumAsalaam x

[Muezzin]

:( Muezzin Tankz fo nuin shmelly, was wanting words of reassurance :rollseyes

Looking in the wrong place. You may as well look for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. :)

LOOOL! :giggling: Nah u dummy, I meant lyk gonna phone tha net tingy n ask them ta close de connection...Yesh I'm feelin lyk dat :(...HELPPPPPPP :'(

Talk to your mum then.

Or knit her a sock monkey.

That one is very intelligent, as evident by his gigantic forehead.

Lol @ ya breda, Hmmm, i prefer ur cocky amusing advise, y u gettn so seirous lol...i wooda fort u tell meh to gve em a sock monkey fo bribery buh obviously not :rollseyes
Anywho Wa'AlaykumAsalaam x

I was getting complaints about the cockiness so I thought I'd tone it down. Now you're telling me you like it. I feel like a nuclear warhead - no one really wants to use one, but you just gotta have it!

Next!

[x Maz x]

Looking in the wrong place. You may as well look for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. :)

:giggling: Gotta and it 2 ya akhi, funni MashAllah ...

Talk to your mum then.

Or knit her a sock monkey.

http://www.smithsonianstore.com/asse...tail/67546.jpg

That one is very intelligent, as evident by his gigantic forehead.

Cumin from u, i jus get a jootha in ma face, so i pass lol, nah will do :rollseyes can u help tho? I duno ow ta nit :(

I was getting complaints about the cockiness so I thought I'd tone it down. Now you're telling me you like it. I feel like a nuclear warhead - no one really wants to use one, but you just gotta have it!

Lolllllllllll, nucleur warhead :rollseyes Me lyksssss....Continue being ur sarcasm witty luvin self, me prefer as do all de ppl here, so continue ma ol cod purchased from de local fishmongers Peace x

[seek.learn]

... a nuclear warhead - no one really wants to use one, but you just gotta have it!

Salaam o alaikum,

MashaAllah. Hilarious.

Alaikum Salaam

[Zohair]

I have played and beaten Metal gear solid, Metal gear solid 2, and Metal gear solid 3: Snake Eater, all of them were awesome!! but I don't know about Metal gear solid 4, cause I don't want to have to by Ps3 just for Metal gear!

[Muezzin]

Salaam o alaikum,

MashaAllah. Hilarious.

Alaikum Salaam

Jazakallah. I have my moments.

I have played and beaten Metal gear solid, Metal gear solid 2, and Metal gear solid 3: Snake Eater, all of them were awesome!! but I don't know about Metal gear solid 4, cause I don't want to have to by Ps3 just for Metal gear!

I understand your dilemma. I just want to wait for the price to drop before getting it. Plus, I've got loads of siblings, so MGS won't be the only game we have, if indeed we get a PS3.

Next!

[Muezzin]

I'm allowed a blip, guy! :p

Next!

[Muslim Knight]

Muezzin is like a zabiha butcher. Chicken! Bismillah! *Chops off head* Next! Chicken! Bismillah! *Chops off head* Next!Chicken! Bismillah! *Chops off hea... (21x)

Next!!

[Muezzin]

Muezzin is like a zabiha butcher. Chicken! Bismillah! *Chops off head* Next! Chicken! Bismillah! *Chops off head* Next!Chicken! Bismillah! *Chops off hea... (21x)

Next!!

Under normal circumstances, I'd delete that for being off-topic, but it made be chuckle so.

Next!

[------]

Hows business?

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Welcome back ya ukhti kabeera;). WAHEY!

(this is ~Mu'MiNaH)

[Muezzin]

Hows business?

Same as always.

Welcome back.

Next!

[Muslim Knight]

Hows business?

Is this referring to Muezzin's chicken rice shop?

Hehehee.. ;D ;D Muezzin, I'm glad you enjoyed that.

[------]

Yeh sis Mu'MiNah :p I knew that

Muezzin and Minaz.........How old r u guys?

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

20 and 19:p
Mu is the oldest.

[------]

So u lot r my older bruvas den.....Kool.

[Muezzin]

20 and 19:p
Mu is the oldest.

The speed at which you replied and the fact that you remembered is both amazing and creepy.

Anyway, next!

[Mawaddah]

^ Hey Aalimah you're back!! cool Masha'allah :)

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

The speed at which you replied is both amazing and creepy.

Anyway, next!

That's because i am amazing and creepy.

[Muezzin]

Uh-huh. Back on-topic...

Next?

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

So this thread isn't revolved around me?
Ok that leads me to my next problem...... why?

[Muezzin]

So this thread isn't revolved around me?
Ok that leads me to my next problem...... why?

Because you suck.

I'm joking. It 'revolves around' people asking questions and us guys giving crazy 'advice' while posting random pictures of sock monkeys and hungry hungry hippos.

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Ohhh... that's like.... news to me!*eek face*

[------]

Why are my posts getting deleted :heated:

[Muezzin]

Why are my posts getting deleted :heated:

Because we're all clamping down on off-topic posts, regardless of who makes them. Heck, I've even had to delete some of my posts from time to time. :)

Next!

[nafy]

Salaamz

how can i stop maself frm thinking too much??

w/salaamz :)

[------]

How do i tell my cuzzin to stop being a gangsta!!!!!!!!!! (Bearing in mind shes a girl lol)

[Muezzin]

Salaamz

how can i stop maself frm thinking too much??

w/salaamz :)

+

But if brain-damage is something you'd generally like to avoid, just try remembering the fact that though thinking something through before acting upon it is a good idea, just thinking something through endlessly and then never acting is a very bad idea.

Next!

[nafy]

Salaamz

LOL ;D hehehehe

jazakAllah bro :) true say.....but its hard 2 stop thinkin n stressin bout things man......can i borrow ur hammer thing?? :P

w/salaamz :)

[------]

Muezzin........Y HAS THOU LOST IT?!?! :heated:

[Pk_#2]

AsalamuAlaykum,

I actually saw a chimps butt today.....and even took a pic....ima be sick...wah i do?

wana see the pic?

Urghh....the zoo's not a nice place the rabbits were doin it...

*pukes*

[Muezzin]

Muezzin........Y HAS THOU LOST IT?!?! :heated:

Eh? Lost what?

AsalamuAlaykum,

I actually saw a chimps butt today.....and even took a pic....ima be sick...wah i do?

Put it on the Internet. That's what everyone else does with their 'sick' pictures. :thumbs_up

wana see the pic?

Not particularly.

Urghh....the zoo's not a nice place the rabbits were doin it...

*pukes*

Chill out, it's a fact of life. Besides, if you hung around long enough, you might even have got a free baby bunny!

But you'd probably just get arrested, actually.

Next!

[Pk_#2]

AsalamuAlaykum,

Actually last year someone knicked a baby kangaroo...so it's possible, I'll post the pic on Li, mus be ok...seeing as it is a 'fact of life'...

*throws up all ova Muzzys thread*

btw ur Muzzy.

[Muezzin]

AsalamuAlaykum,

Actually last year someone knicked a baby kangaroo...so it's possible, I'll post the pic on Li, mus be ok...seeing as it is a 'fact of life'...

Um, don't. Mating rabbits may be a fact of life, but it's just inappropriate on this thread.

Especially on this thread.

*throws up all ova Muzzys thread*

Charming.

btw ur Muzzy.

Btw, next!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

How comes Zaks on leave :eek:

how comes muezzins bein polite :eek:

how comes minaz seems LESS LIBERAL :heated:

OMG WHATS BEEN HAPPENIN IN MY ABSENCE :muddlehea :muddlehea

[nafy]

Salaam

WELCOME BACK BRO ABD'MAJID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

bro muezzin.........did u miss bro abd majid??

w/salaam :)

[Muezzin]

How comes Zaks on leave :eek:

how comes muezzins bein polite :eek:

how comes minaz seems LESS LIBERAL :heated:

OMG WHATS BEEN HAPPENIN IN MY ABSENCE :muddlehea :muddlehea

We're in opposite land.

Either that, or you're on crack.

Next!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

We're in opposite land.

Either that, or you're on crack.

Next!

lol whats crack :p and do u take it :p if so is that why ur so polite now :p :p can i say next? :p if i say next will u cry? :p am i cruel for not carin if u cry :p

[Muezzin]

lol whats crack :p and do u take it :p if so is that why ur so polite now :p :p can i say next? :p if i say next will u cry? :p am i cruel for not carin if u cry :p

That's way too many tongues for one post. Also, we're getting off-topic.

So, next!

[Nawal89]

You've turned mean Muezzin. It's okay tho. it's a nice change.

[Muezzin]

You've turned mean Muezzin. It's okay tho. it's a nice change.

Some say that people never change - they just reveal what was always there.

Maybe I'm just revealing my black, cynical sense of humour here, I dunno. I'll delete my posts if they cause offence.

Next!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Salaam

WELCOME BACK BRO ABD'MAJID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

bro muezzin.........did u miss bro abd majid??

w/salaam :)

jazakAllah khair 4 da welcome!

and muezzin couldnt handle the mass questioning :coolbro:

...thinkin... hey r u sik of ma avatar? think its bout time i changed it?

[Musaafirah]

I can't cook! What do I do?!!
(I'd put up a funny face but you implied it looked like a suicide bomber inn your sig :?)

[Muezzin]

I can't cook! What do I do?!!

Rent a bunch of Delia Smith videos. She even shows you how to crack open an egg.

(I'd put up a funny face but you implied it looked like a suicide bomber inn your sig )

Feel free to use any smiley you like. I don't even subscribe to these ';)', ':p' being fitnah, but others do, so I don't use them to avoid causing offence.

Next!

[Nawal89]

Some say that people never change - they just reveal what was always there.

Maybe I'm just revealing my black, cynical sense of humour here, I dunno. I'll delete my posts if they cause offence.

OOO so now you've got a deep dark side?:hiding:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Feel free to use any smiley you like. I don't even subscribe to these ';)', ':p' being fitnah, but others do, so I don't use them to avoid causing offence.

Next!

umm... :? my toungues were directed at u... hope i didnt cause any offence. Astagfirullah if i did :heated:

[Muezzin]

^nah, you didn't cause offence, no worries. It was kind of weird though.

OOO so now you've got a deep dark side?:hiding:

I make Darth Vader look like a puppy.

But not really.

Next!

[------]

Why has thou lost ur brain :?

[Tania]

Rent a bunch of Delia Smith videos. She even shows you how to crack open an egg.


Next!

Are you cooking??

[IbnAbdulHakim]

what do u call those birds that always make that noise at sunrise again? SubhanALlah ALWAYS at sunrise!!! What makes em do that? Isnt that like a miracle :eek: !! I wanna get one o those to wake me up for fajr... but then again... they always go off AFTER its too late to pray :uhwhat

[Muezzin]

what do u call those birds that always make that noise at sunrise again? SubhanALlah ALWAYS at sunrise!!! What makes em do that? Isnt that like a miracle :eek: !! I wanna get one o those to wake me up for fajr... but then again... they always go off AFTER its too late to pray :uhwhat

A cockerel? A rooster?

I don't know what makes them do that - but if I lived on a farm I might.

Next!

[------]

Where is Minaz? On a fishing expedition?

[Muezzin]

Where is Minaz? On a fishing expedition?

Quite possibly.

Either that or he's on a safari trip.

In Jurassic Park.

Next!

[------]

LOLOLOL Any chance Minaz can bring me back a baby dinosour as a pet then :p

[Musaafirah]

Rent a bunch of Delia Smith videos. She even shows you how to crack open an egg.


Feel free to use any smiley you like. I don't even subscribe to these ';)', ':p' being fitnah, but others do, so I don't use them to avoid causing offence.

Next!

He hee..Delia Smith?! For Asian cooking? I don't think so! :muddlehea
I really don't get on with the kitchen..+o(

[IbnAbdulHakim]

A cockerel? A rooster?

I don't know what makes them do that - but if I lived on a farm I might.

Next!

:sl:

how bout we both go live in a farm and i can call u ben, and u can call me jim, and we'll get an uncle called bob and a dog called jimbo ;D

:w:

[Muezzin]

LOLOLOL Any chance Minaz can bring me back a baby dinosour as a pet then :p

Two chances:

Fat and slim :)

He hee..Delia Smith?! For Asian cooking? I don't think so!

I'm sure there's an Asian equiavalent. Deepa Patel or something.

I really don't get on with the kitchen..

Neither do I apart from raita. I love that stuff.

how bout we both go live in a farm and i can call u ben, and u can call me jim, and we'll get an uncle called bob and a dog called jimbo

And people call me crazy?

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

What's raita?

[Muezzin]

What's raita?

Mine looks better than that though. I put chilli powder and bhoondi in. Bhoondi is kind of these little crispy balls, sort of like rice krispies, but spherical as opposed to rice-shaped. You put them in milk until they're soft, then put the yoghurt and everything on top. Pukka, as Mr Oliver might say.

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

wow that looks nice......

[Nawal89]

can you make that muezzin? the raita. Or does your mom make it for you?

[Muezzin]

wow that looks nice......

It tastes nicer.

can you make that muezzin? the raita. Or does your mom make it for you?

Yep, I can make it. I was going to make it yesterday, got everything ready, put the bhoondi in to soak, then went away for a few minutes - when I got back, someone else had made it heh.

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Lol that is exactly what I would do. I ate my sisters bowl of cheerios today. Does that make me a bad person?

[Muezzin]

Lol that is exactly what I would do.

I intended to make it. I was gonna put some tomatoes in it this time, but someone else finished making it. Oh well, maybe next time.

I ate my sisters bowl of cheerios today. Does that make me a bad person?

That depends - was she trying to eat it at the same time?

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

No.... it was on the counter..... just waiting to be eating.... i couldn't resist it.
OH MY GOD I'M EVIIIIIIIIL!
*runs away and cries*

[IbnAbdulHakim]

http://www.hennapage.com/henna/food/...food/raita.jpg

Mine looks better than that though. I put chilli powder and bhoondi in. Bhoondi is kind of these little crispy balls, sort of like rice krispies, but spherical as opposed to rice-shaped. You put them in milk until they're soft, then put the yoghurt and everything on top. Pukka, as Mr Oliver might say.

Next!

:sl:

that luks nice BUT will a british man whos not accustomed to spice like it? Also is it tru that lions only eat meat? Is that why there so strong :eek:

[Muezzin]

Umm_Shaheed No.... it was on the counter..... just waiting to be eating.... i couldn't resist it.
OH MY GOD I'M EVIIIIIIIIL!
*runs away and cries*

That's not evil. Killing someone would be evil. Not eating their bowl of Cheerios.

By the way, I thought those things had e471 in them. :? I'm not trying to cause alarm or anything, but do check the ingredients. I could be wrong. It could be that special 'vegetarian' e471.

[B]
:sl:

that luks nice BUT will a british man whos not accustomed to spice like it?

I don't give a toss about what a British man unaccustomed to it thinks. I think it tastes beautiful.

Also is it tru that lions only eat meat? Is that why there so strong :eek:

Lions are carnivorous, yes. However, it's really the linonesses that do all the hunting. A lot like us human males - get the woman to do all the hard work. :p

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

What's e4..... ok my heart is racing? SERIOUSLY.... what is that?

[Muezzin]

What's e4..... ok my heart is racing? SERIOUSLY.... what is that?

It's an emulsifier which can contain animal fat.

Manufactured from glycerin (see E422) and fatty acids, these are normally obtained from hydrogenated soya bean oil and as such may be genetically modified.

Used where the foaming power of egg protein needs to be retained in the presence of fat and in baked goods as an 'anti-staling' agent where it prevents the loss of water from starches.

Allegedly the most commonly used emulsifier in the food processing industry, it can be found in, amongst other foods, Black Forest gateau mix, cakes, hot-chocolate mix, aerosol creams, shaped crisps, quick custard mix, packet dessert topping, dehydrated potato, sponge puddings, sterilised, pasteurised and UHT cream, low-calorie cream and pasteurised low-fat cream, margarine and low fat spreads, and ice cream.

http://www.ukfoodguide.net/e471.htm

Kinda dodgy...

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

I thought it was poison.... but that's worse! Wait lemme check.
*20 secs later*
My brother put the box in the bin, and took the bin outside! Wallah! Not trying to be funny. Should i make myself vomit or something? I feel.... urgh.
(i could have sworn it said suitable for vegetarians?)

[Muezzin]

I thought it was poison.... but that's worse! Wait lemme check.
*20 secs later*
My brother put the box in the bin, and took the bin outside! Wallah! Not trying to be funny. Should i make myself vomit or something? I feel.... urgh.

Nah, don't do that. I'm probably wrong.

(i could have sworn it said suitable for vegetarians?)

If it did, then I'm completely wrong and you have nothing to worry about :)

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

That's what Abu Bakr (ra) did when a non-muslim gave him un-halaal meat. And he said that even if it would have kiled him to vomit that meat, he would have done so.
Man.... now i feel like a hypocrite.
Thanks a bunch muezzin!

[Muezzin]

That's what Abu Bakr (ra) did when a non-muslim gave him un-halaal meat. And he said that even if it would have kiled him to vomit that meat, he would have done so.
Man.... now i feel like a hypocrite.

Eh? I was wrong! I just checked the ingredients online, no e471 :)

Thanks a bunch muezzin!

What did I do?

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

You made me feel bad. But I feel better now, so it's ok. You are safe. I won't be killing you in your sleep any more.

[Muezzin]

You made me feel bad. But I feel better now, so it's ok. You are safe. I won't be killing you in your sleep any more.

Erm....

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

I have alot of relatives in Leicester, you know. I could if I wanted to. Are you scared yet?

[Muezzin]

I have alot of relatives in Leicester, you know. I could if I wanted to. Are you scared yet?

I fear nothing but God and being eaten alive by animated sock monkeys.

Next!

[?...]

What the **** are u talking about, i haven't flippin time to read junk paragraph.

:sl:

Having trouble getting to school on time? Trying to tell people you hate Marmite, but just can't get through? Had enough of that pesky next-door neighbour's dog taking chunks out of your left buttock every morning?

Fear not! Minaz and I, the Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings, are here to help!

How are we masters, you ask? We are masters of might because Minaz goes through protein shakes like popcorn, is in top athletic form and works out everyday.

And I do sit ups.

We are masters of magic because we can watch those 'Behind the Magic' shows with the Masked Magician and work out how the trick is done before they tell us. Eh? Eh?

And why are we the undisputed champions of Monday Mornings?

Because we get up on time, all the time, every time.

So send us your problems and we'll try our utmost to solve them. Even if we make them worse, at least you'll have a laugh.

Let me adjust that slightly - at least WE will have a laugh. :p

n.b - this thread is in Halal Fun for a reason. If you require serious advice on a topic, go to the Cyber Counselling forum.

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

I fear nothing but God and being eaten alive by animated sock monkeys.

Next!

What exactly is your obsession with sock monkeys?

[Muezzin]

^sock monkeys rule.

What the **** are u talking about, i haven't flippin time to read junk paragraph.

Greetings, question mark. If you don't have time to read the post, and aren't in the mood for this, you could just, I don't know, not read this thread and not reply to it?

Also, please invest in some English lessons.

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Lol...

[nafy]

Salaam

y am i alwayssssssssss gettin told off? n gettin told off 4 stikin up 4 a mate?? das jus disgusting....ma matez mean sooooooooooooo much 2 meeeeeeee!! y duznt any1 understand?!!?!? :'(

w/salaam

[Muezzin]

Salaam

y am i alwayssssssssss gettin told off? n gettin told off 4 stikin up 4 a mate?? das jus disgusting....ma matez mean sooooooooooooo much 2 meeeeeeee!! y duznt any1 understand?!!?!? :'(

w/salaam

What exactly happened?

[nafy]

Salaamz

What exactly happened?

my sis heard rumours bout ma mate....which obviously were not true....i try 2 clear things up...i tell her da truth...n try n find out why da person hu told her sed dis....dus she hate ma mate or wat?
but den wen we cleared things n got home...i found ma sis had blamed everything on me......n mum sed i shudnt have interefered!! shes ma best mate.....her problems are myn!! .....n den mum has a go at me sayin 'not lyk shes ur sista' meanin my best mate........cus i was arguein wiv ma sis cus of her....
ma mate is actually more close 2 me den any1 at home....but nooooooooooooooo1 understands.....*sigh*

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh h lol.....
bro make me laff man......lol.....am in suchaaaaaaaaaaaa bad mood!!!

w/salaamz

[Muezzin]

You want to laugh? I'll make ya laugh:

Look, it's just like Monopoly!

Sort of.

Um.. Next!

[Tania]

Why around 90% from the tv movies are violent-like promoting shootings, killing, beating x and y. For example the comedy movies almost dissapeared from the channels. :(

[Muezzin]

Why around 90% from the tv movies are violent-like promoting shootings, killing, beating x and y.

Apparently it's hip to break someone's hip.

For example the comedy movies almost dissapeared from the channels. :(

True. There's always DVD's and the Internet for comedy goodness though. Check out YouTube.com for some excellent comedy videos.

Next!

[Kittygyal]

salamalykum.
i am new to this forum and i am lost :(
walaykumasalam

[Muezzin]

salamalykum.
i am new to this forum and i am lost :(
walaykumasalam

:sl:
Welcome! Have you tried checking out the threads in the Comments and suggestions section? :)

[Kittygyal]

:sl:
Welcome! Have you tried checking out the threads in the Comments and suggestions section? :)

salamalykum warahmatullah,
jazakallahkheir my beloved brother nice to have a brother whom is like you.
walaykumassalam warahmatullah

[------]

Muezzin.......y do girls not listen to me in college wen i tell them Music is HARAAM?!?!?! :heated:

[nafy]

Salaamz

y is college so boring nowadayssssssssssss?

w/salaam

[------]

y is college so boring nowadayssssssssssss?

Coz u do no work? Plus exams r finished so just chillllllllllllllllllll! ;D

[Muezzin]

Muezzin.......y do girls not listen to me in college wen i tell them Music is HARAAM?!?!?! :heated:

Girls don't listen to anyone no matter what you're telling them.

That was a joke.

Try the softly, softly approach. Maybe they're so attached to their music that they don't want to let it go. In that case, telling them it's haraam is just going to push them away. Just try to show through your actions that one doesn't need music to be a complete human being.

Salaamz

y is college so boring nowadayssssssssssss?

w/salaam

Like Aalimah said, exams have finished. Plus, now you can make a sock monkey!

That one's called Delilah.

Next!

[------]

Why art thou obsessed with sock monkeys?! :rollseyes

[Muezzin]

Why art thou obsessed with sock monkeys?! :rollseyes

Because they art brilliant, verilly.

Next!

[------]

Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do your hearts find rest!

(Surah Ra'ad, Verse 28)

**Had to say it** :hiding:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:salamext:


What do you think of wen u see jackie chan do a stunt?
And then what do u think of wen u see a chimpanzee jump from tree to tree?

if its not the same are you a bit of a racist? :D


:wasalamex:

[------]

Whyyyyyyyyyyyy is it so weirddddddddddddddddddddd? (The Weather)

Why is the weather so weird LOL............meaning its sunny and then raining and then sunny.....i mean..........make ur mind up!!

[...]

That's england weather 4 u - just like John Agard says in his poem 'Half-Caste'

[Muezzin]

Whyyyyyyyyyyyy is it so weirddddddddddddddddddddd? (The Weather)

Why is the weather so weird LOL............meaning its sunny and then raining and then sunny.....i mean..........make ur mind up!!

If it was too hot, we'd be complaining because we'd be thirsty, and if it was too wet, we'd be complaining because we're drowning.

Balance is king.

That's england weather 4 u - just like John Agard says in his poem 'Half-Caste'

That's a very good, funny poem. I've seen that guy doing his 'performance poetry' actually. He's a very funny, insightful man.

Next!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:salamext:


What do you think of wen u see jackie chan do a stunt?
And then what do u think of wen u see a chimpanzee jump from tree to tree?

if its not the same are you a bit of a racist? :D


:wasalamex:

MUUUEEEEEZZIIIIIIN!!!! bro allow ignorin me like that :(

[Muezzin]

:salamext:


What do you think of wen u see jackie chan do a stunt?

I don't think, I'm just lost in a chuckling 'WOAH!'

And then what do u think of wen u see a chimpanzee jump from tree to tree?

Same as above, sans 'whoah'.

if its not the same are you a bit of a racist? :D
[/B]

:wasalamex:

Chimapnzees could kick human butt. Seriously. The only thing we have going for us is technology. Chimps have extremely strong limbs and are armed with rocks. Not a good combination.

Next!

[------]

What wid the heart and brother and sik face in ur sig?

[Muezzin]

What wid the heart and brother and sik face in ur sig?

Think about it.

Next!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Chimapnzees could kick human butt. Seriously. The only thing we have going for us is technology. Chimps have extremely strong limbs and are armed with rocks. Not a good combination.

Next!

:salamext:


Seriously? :eek: u think so? :eek: im tempted to fight a chimpanzee just 2 see how it goes now!!!!


:wasalamex:

[...]

Hey u finally got rid of that ghost buster thingy.

[Muezzin]

:salamext:


Seriously? :eek: u think so? :eek: im tempted to fight a chimpanzee just 2 see how it goes now!!!!


:wasalamex:

Make sure you suit up, like this guy:

Apes are tough muthas.

Hey u finally got rid of that ghost buster thingy.

Thank you for noticing, have a Monopoly car:

Next!

[------]

I want a game of monopoly :'( :'( :'( (I cant be asked 2 go n buy one!)

[Muezzin]

I want a game of monopoly :'( :'( :'( (I cant be asked 2 go n buy one!)

Do I look like a thief to you?

...don't answer that.

Next!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:salamext:


No place to hide? Why u wanna hide? What u got 2 hide :eek:, Did you get buss up by a chimpanzee :eek: ?


:wasalamex:

[Muezzin]

:salamext:


No place to hide? Why u wanna hide? What u got 2 hide

It's the slogan for Metal Gear Solid 4, as my signature may have indicated.

:eek:, Did you get buss up by a chimpanzee :eek: ?

:wasalamex:

As I recall, I set it on you.

Next!

[nafy]

Salaamz

y dont dis freaky guy at col leave me alone?!?!?!?! aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! ....every tym am walkin n hes der......he always stops n stares at ma face.......even wen i completely ignore him!! n sum freak told him ma name!! n now he calls me wen hes around.....aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh :'(

w/salaamz

[Muezzin]

Salaamz

y dont dis freaky guy at col leave me alone?!?!?!?! aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! ....every tym am walkin n hes der......he always stops n stares at ma face.......even wen i completely ignore him!! n sum freak told him ma name!! n now he calls me wen hes around.....aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh :'(

w/salaamz

When do you finish college? This guy will be gone then.

Also, have you tried confronting him and asking him straight out why he stares at you all the time? Though don't go in front of his mates.

Next!

[Tania]

How many sock monkeys do you have?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

How many sock monkeys do you have?

:salamext:

And also do u make them yourself or steal them from other poor innocent little kids :p

:wasalamex:

[Helena]

my prob.....

well why do i have less confidence in myself...when it comes to certain situation that i face....e.g applying for jobs....

why is it soo hard to forget something?

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

I've overcome my fear of puppies. Does that make me invincible?

[------]

Do I look like a thief to you?

...don't answer that.

:giggling: OK :hiding:

[Sister_6038]

*enters after a long time*

assalaamu alaikum wr wb!! so a question....if my pc falls apart...accidentally and i have a coverplan can i like erm get it sorted or is it not worth it? jazaks :sister:

[------]

muezzin if u knew sum1 hu committed adultery....and livin in the uk....wt wud u do..? wud u get involved or leave it? plz answer insha'allah

[muzna]

why is it that i sailed through school and once i got to college i turned into the worlds biggest dumbo

[Muezzin]

How many sock monkeys do you have?

None, unfortunately. I have to content myself with laughing at pictures of them.

Abd'Majid, see above.

my prob.....

well why do i have less confidence in myself...when it comes to certain situation that i face....e.g applying for jobs....

In situations like this, it helps to 'rehearse' what you're going to do, so that you're not nervous later. E.g. for interviews, think of questions they're likely to ask you, come up with answers, and then perhaps get a friend or family member to play the role of interviewer while you answer their questions.

why is it soo hard to forget something?

Um, after recently taking four exams, I beg to differ. :)

I've overcome my fear of puppies. Does that make me invincible?

Only when there's Andrex nearby.

*enters after a long time*

assalaamu alaikum wr wb!! so a question....if my pc falls apart...accidentally and i have a coverplan can i like erm get it sorted or is it not worth it? jazaks

It depends how much it'll cost, and how badly your pc fell apart.

muezzin if u knew sum1 hu committed adultery....and livin in the uk....wt wud u do..? wud u get involved or leave it? plz answer insha'allah

I'd try and talk to them and persuade them to find a solution (i.e. get back together, or get a divorce), but ultimately, it's up to them. I try not to involve myself in others' private lives.

And if anyone tries to nose into my private life, I attack them with spanners.

why is it that i sailed through school and once i got to college i turned into the worlds biggest dumbo

You're getting in touch with your elephantine side, as your avatar might indicate.

Or not.

Seriously speaking, everyone finds it hard to adjust. Don't hesitate to ask your teachers for help - that's what they're paid for.

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Don't worry muzna.... i feel the same way. I totally messed this year up. But my school sixform is rubbish anyway. I'm starting fresh at one of the best college's in the whole of west London. BRAAAP!

[Muezzin]

No more 'BRAAAAP' nonsense on this thread please. It hurts my brain.

Next!

[Bittersteel]

And if anyone tries to nose into my private life, I attack them with spanners.

the British authorities too?!?MashAllah!!!takbeer!

[Helena]

shukran for ur advice..

okay one more thing...is it safe to buy certain thing thru internet using credit cards? coz am planning to buy da islamic wristband...

[Muezzin]

Be careful with credit cards online. Check that the site is secure - if it is, a little padlock icon will appear at the bottom of the page (if you have a hotmail account, sign in and you'll see what it looks like).

the British authorities too?!?MashAllah!!!takbeer!

Well, I'd try, but they'd probably shoot and handcuff me, in that order.

Next!

[Ayesha Rana]

What's BRAAAAP?

[Muezzin]

What's BRAAAAP?

Something about farts, I dunno.

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

NO IT ISN'T! BRAAAP!
I dunno what it means though, lol. Just like saying it. BRRRAAAAP!

[Muezzin]

NO IT ISN'T! BRAAAP!
I dunno what it means though, lol. Just like saying it. BRRRAAAAP!

People with bowel problems use a remarkably similar rationale.

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

*rolls eyes* Quiet you sock monkey.

[Helena]

Need Help Again......

DA CREDIT CARD NUMBER.....IS IT DA LONG 16 DIGIT NUMBER OR ACCOUNT NUMBER?

[Muezzin]

Need Help Again......

DA CREDIT CARD NUMBER.....IS IT DA LONG 16 DIGIT NUMBER OR ACCOUNT NUMBER?

It's the long one on the front of the card, not the account number.

Next!

[Ayesha Rana]

What do you do if you cant find the name of a nashid artist but you have a recitation done by him?

[Muezzin]

What do you do if you cant find the name of a nashid artist but you have a recitation done by him?

Type in the name of the recitation on a search engine? Ask people on this forum? :)

Next!

[Ayesha Rana]

What do you mean? The recitation doesn't have a name. It's Surah Ibrahim if that makes a difference but there are thousands of scholars who recite it.

[Muezzin]

What do you mean? The recitation doesn't have a name. It's Surah Ibrahim if that makes a difference but there are thousands of scholars who recite it.

True. I got confused, I thought you meant the nasheed itself. My mistake. Try asking on this forum somewhere - you can upload it for example, then someone might be able to identify it. Or you could ask people in real life who might know.

Next!

[Helena]

shukran...but somehow they didnt except my card...shud try another card....oh well....i'll wait for my lil bro...i'll try again inshalah..

erm know any good sites....that sells properties such as shops..as my mum wants to buy? am searching...can u be any help?

wot if u have a chance in something..that is bound to happen...will u grab the moment or leave it?

[Ayesha Rana]

True. I got confused, I thought you meant the nasheed itself. My mistake. Try asking on this forum somewhere - you can upload it for example, then someone might be able to identify it. Or you could ask people in real life who might know.

Next!

Thanks Mr stubble but I've listened to 276 recitors and it's none of them!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Hey Muezzin what's your favourite section of this forum?

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

HEY WHY IN THE HECK WAS THAT THREAD MOVED TO THE BROTHER'S SECTION?
Ewwwwwwwwwww!

[Ayesha Rana]

What thread? I like the dancing banana in your signiture by the way.

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

The one about the beards:
http://www.islamicboard.com/brothers...d-fashion.html

[Muezzin]

shukran...but somehow they didnt except my card...shud try another card....oh well....i'll wait for my lil bro...i'll try again inshalah..

erm know any good sites....that sells properties such as shops..as my mum wants to buy? am searching...can u be any help?

Well, a google search brought this site up.

wot if u have a chance in something..that is bound to happen...will u grab the moment or leave it?

Depends on its legality. But, grab it.

Thanks Mr stubble but I've listened to 276 recitors and it's none of them!

Ask others. :)

Hey Muezzin what's your favourite section of this forum?

It changes. Sometimes halal fun, sometimes general chat, sometimes the bro's section. I can tell you that World Affairs and the Marriage forums are my least favourite - the former is headache-inducing for this moderator, and the latter is kind of pointless in this person's humble opinion.

Next!

[Ayesha Rana]

Who is Elijah Mohammed?

[Muezzin]

Who is Elijah Mohammed?

The founder of the Nation of Islam. That's about all I know, apart from the fact that followers of the Nation of Islam venerate him as if he's a prophet or something. It's very strange indeed.

Next!

[Ayesha Rana]

What's the Nation of Islam?

[Muezzin]

What's the Nation of Islam?

This religion which profoundly misunderstands the message of Islam - it teaches that the black race is superior to all others, which totally contradicts the message of true Islam, which is that all races are equal.

Next!

[Ayesha Rana]

Oooooh. So why is it called the Nation of Islam?

[Muezzin]

Oooooh. So why is it called the Nation of Islam?

I don't know. Google it. :)

Next!

[Ayesha Rana]

Why is Google called Google?

[Muezzin]

Why is Google called Google?

You do know I deleted that last time you posted it because it's off topic and you can easily Google it yourself, right?

Next!

[Ayesha Rana]

You do know I deleted that last time you posted it because it's off topic and you can easily Google it yourself, right?

Next!

Oh right well sorry Mr Stubble. I thought it just hadn't got posted.

[Tania]

Marriage forums ...is kind of pointless in this person's humble opinion.

Next!

Why are you saying that??We can prepair for the marriage in this forum.:)

[Muezzin]

Why are you saying that??We can prepair for the marriage in this forum.:)

Yeah, but not if you've just hit puberty. I'm not saying you've just hit puberty... I'm just not too fond of a boatload of teenagers talking about marriage as if they're ready for it, when in reality, they are probably not. But let's just drop this, because this topic isn't about the marriage forum :)

Next!

[Pk_#2]

[MAD]why?.............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................h ave............................................... .................................................. ...................................i.............. ...................................got............ .....................a............................ ................................................mi grane............................................. ?................................................. ..

You got the virus yet?

.................................................. ...............................................

ARE MIGRANES CONTAGOUS? IS THAT HOW U SPELL THAT WORD?

.................................................. ................................................

DAS A WHOLE LOADA q'S FO a lil FELLA take ur tym in ANSWERING em !

Fankoo[/MAD]

[Muezzin]

[MAD]why?.............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................h ave............................................... .................................................. ...................................i.............. ...................................got............ .....................a............................ ................................................mi grane............................................. ?................................................. ..[/mad]

Well, that was certainly very... special.

You got the virus yet?

What, AIDS? Hell no.

ARE MIGRANES CONTAGOUS? IS THAT HOW U SPELL THAT WORD?

No. Maybe some things that cause them are contagious, but I'm not a doctor.

DAS A WHOLE LOADA q'S FO a lil FELLA take ur tym in ANSWERING em !

Fankoo[/MAD]

I took 16 minutes answering them, from the time of your initial post, to the time of this writing. I don't know the answers. Come again!

But seriously, take some paracetemol, drink some water, and lie down in a very, very quiet place.

Next!

[Pk_#2]

paracetamols...urghhh!! i can't swallow em even if i half em...dnt do tablets or any medication int a DRUGGY!

Water? water here sux...river lee smells...urgh!

Quiet place...nu uhh...my house is loaded wiv bruvas...dey duno how ta shut da fudge up

Ahhh....migranes gone...so thnx fo ya 'help'

AsalamuAlaykum :sister:

[Muezzin]

paracetamols...urghhh!! i can't swallow em even if i half em...dnt do tablets or any medication int a DRUGGY!

Chew them, like me. It tastes nasty, but that's what the water's for.

Water? water here sux...river lee smells...urgh!

Erm... okay.

Quiet place...nu uhh...my house is loaded wiv bruvas...dey duno how ta shut da fudge up

See above.

Ahhh....migranes gone...so thnx fo ya 'help'

AsalamuAlaykum :sister:

As Hannibal from the A-Team says, "I love it when a plan comes together"

Next!

[Pk_#2]

I'm seriously drunk...why don't you delete my posts when i want you too :'(

[Muezzin]

I'm seriously drunk...why don't you delete my posts when i want you too :'(

Forget deleting them. That one's being framed and hung up in the hall of fame.

But seriously, if you want me or another moderator to delete a post of yours, use the report post function.

Or better yet, think before you post. :)

Next!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Why dont more people join in 4 the Quran quiz!!! its really hard!! :heated: But Alhamdullilah learnin loads :D

[Pk_#2]

You havn't been drunk before have you...?

How can you think while being in that state?

Whats your fav drink?

[Muezzin]

Why dont more people join in 4 the Quran quiz!!! its really hard!! :heated: But Alhamdullilah learnin loads :D

That's very good, mashallah.

Unfortunately, it has little to do with the topic of this thread, which is members asking for ironic advice, rather than general questions.

Next!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:salamext:

ok then :D, hav u ever felt the urge to tug on those long wigs jewish people wear besides there ears?

:wasalamex:

[Muezzin]

:salamext:

ok then :D, hav u ever felt the urge to tug on those long wigs jewish people wear besides there ears?

:wasalamex:

Not particularly.

I have felt the urge to wear an afro wig and store canned foods in it though.

Next!

[Pk_#2]

[MAD] diss...[/MAD]

[Muezzin]

[MAD] diss...[/MAD]

In polite society, we try to use more than one word in a sentence.

Next!

[Ayesha Rana]

How do you increase your rep power?

[Muezzin]

How do you increase your rep power?

Use the Force.

Or just search for 'reputation' with the search function, and see what comes up. I don't fully understand myself, to tell the truth. It's connected with how many posts you have, how long you've been here, how much rep you have, and how much rep you give.

Next!

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

All my sisters are annoying the heck out of me.... and I have 4 of them!
What should I do? They're luck i don't have a gun!

[nafy]

Salaamz

bro plz mek dua 4 me will u am not gettin betta at driving...! :(

wat u fink i shud do? i had bout 6 lessons now..and im still driving round da same private estate instead of da main roads....
n ma instructor...she cums out wic comments lyk 'i dont think driving is 4 u' ....and 'thnx 4 da entertaining hour' .....n 'its funny doin it wid u'....i mean shes a laff n dat.....n she dont shout at me....tis jus dat i dont call dat very encouraging...she spose 2 be teachin me not puttin me off...
shall i stick wiv her do u fink? or change ma instructor??

w/salaam :)

[Pk_#2]

In polite society, we try to use more than one word in a sentence.

Next!

Das not true... :rollseyes


urm...Whats betta Volvic or Vittel de product of france lol...well das wah it says on my bottle?

PeAce mUzZy & mInZy...wers minzy gne agen? :D

[Far7an]

:sl:

This question is to Muezzin, not that Minaz would answer anyway. How do you feel about your ever growing fan base on LI? It has caused some problems for the moderators, with a constant need to edit/delete posts made by your fans. Rumour has it that you plan on migrating to a far more controversial forum full of chavs. Further clarification as to whether these rumours are true or not would be appreciated.

Your bro, Farhan.

[Tania]

Why should you go when here you can find all the topics? :(.

[Muezzin]

All my sisters are annoying the heck out of me.... and I have 4 of them!
What should I do? They're luck i don't have a gun!

Purchase ear-plugs, or talk to them.

As for guns... I may condone many things, but fratricide is not one of them. :brother:

Salaamz

bro plz mek dua 4 me will u am not gettin betta at driving...!

wat u fink i shud do? i had bout 6 lessons now..and im still driving round da same private estate instead of da main roads....
n ma instructor...she cums out wic comments lyk 'i dont think driving is 4 u' ....and 'thnx 4 da entertaining hour' .....n 'its funny doin it wid u'....i mean shes a laff n dat.....n she dont shout at me....tis jus dat i dont call dat very encouraging...she spose 2 be teachin me not puttin me off...
shall i stick wiv her do u fink? or change ma instructor??

w/salaam

Well, you could talk with her, ask her to be more encouraging. After all, you're paying for her services, right? If that doesn't help, change instructor.

This question is to Muezzin, not that Minaz would answer anyway. How do you feel about your ever growing fan base on LI?

I feel like a movie star.

Or Charles Ingram.

It has caused some problems for the moderators, with a constant need to edit/delete posts made by your fans.

Tell me about it...

Rumour has it that you plan on migrating to a far more controversial forum full of chavs. Further clarification as to whether these rumours are true or not would be appreciated.

Your bro, Farhan.

Nah, I'd never leave LI for Chavscum.com's forums. I just read their main page for maximum comedy value. I think he's also got a feedback thing up now, which is funny as heck when chavs write in.

Why should you go when here you can find all the topics?

But on a chav forum, I could build a house with all the bricks hurled my way!

Next!