Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings

[S_87]

:sl:

I have 30mins to go for my physics test as well as having to see that boys face again.
I am feeling nervous and xtremely sick.:embarrass

:sl:

sis tell him straight- getting your own way isnt easy.. tell him or just turn around and say whats your problem <-- add in anything you want on that. he`ll :embarrass but itll work unless he has serious problems

[Rabi'ya]

:sl: I dont have any friends....forget female ones!!!

:statisfie what about me? :statisfie

(just going for lunch, see you when ur back after ur test inshAllah)

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:

[Ameeratul Layl]

:sl:

sis tell him straight- getting your own way isnt easy.. tell him or just turn around and say whats your problem <-- add in anything you want on that. he`ll :embarrass but itll work unless he has serious problems

:sl:
I CANT sis. I know I show on the forum that im a big mouth....but wen it comes face to face with guys like....him!! I cant do it!!!!

*im feeling sick*

[nafy]

Make dua. Don't eat cheese before you go to bed, it gives you nightmares. Don't drink too much water before you go to bed, it might cause mess. :p

If the dreams persist, seek better help than our little comedy corner here. :)

yeh thnx 4 dat bro :)
lol cheese gives u nitemares?? hehehe...neva herd dat 1 b4 lolz ;)

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[minaz]

ok Ammeratul Layl, thsi is what you do I've been in your situation before (ok well not exactly but you get my drift)
Anywho tell the teacher the boy is harrasing you - which he bloody well is cuz it's been pasted on my thread for the last 10 pages! Teacher should have a word or move him, if not I'll write a letter to your college on behalf of your parents and make it a formal complaint

[Ameeratul Layl]

ok Ammeratul Layl, thsi is what you do I've been in your situation before (ok well not exactly but you get my drift)
Anywho tell the teacher the boy is harrasing you - which he bloody well is cuz it's been pasted on my thread for the last 10 pages! Teacher should have a word or move him, if not I'll write a letter to your college on behalf of your parents and make it a formal complaint

:sl:

:embarrass not sure. but ill TRY!!! No promises bro.:embarrass

p.s: sorry for messing up 10 pages of ur thread.

[Bittersteel]

Ameeratul just call the fatwa police.They will take care of everything.

[minaz]

anyone had any problems with the Fatwa police?

[Ameeratul Layl]

:w: Brothers and sisters,

I have some good news but firstly I would like to thank you all for being there wen I needed you!!!:peace: You have all been ace and TRIED to give me the correct advise. I hope Allah grants u ALL jannah....dont forget me though!!:playing:
THE STORY:
Anyway, my physics teacher (female) came up to me in class and gave me my Assigment back. I did rather well. MasHaLLAH.:phew
Anyway, she looked at my face and sed I looked a bit 'drained.' I couldnt help myself and BURST out crying. I asked her if I cud go to the washroom. She stopped me as I got out the door....BALGH BLAGH.:furious:

Eventually, she tuk me into another room. I told her everything (I cant believe I poured my heart out to her....I usually keep things bottled). She was really sweet and went on saying that:' u arent a flirty girl, u are just pretty (yeah right) and its typical of a boy to look at a girl who is attractive (she must have sed that about 10 times).U are never loud in the class and never try to attract attention. U hav done nothing wrong.....' blagh blagh.:playing:

Al hamdullilah, we made a little agreement that she will not mention anything to anyone and she will keep an eye on him. Wahoo!!!:rant:

Today, I am felling over the moon AND the stars. She is def. one person who is WORTH calling a teacher!!!!:cool2:

Allah ma3akum

[Muezzin]

Another happy ending. :)

Any other problems?

[Sahabiyaat]

thats nice

so u didnt get to smash the swivels chair into his kneecaps :hmm2: ....had i been in this situation......:grumbling

.lol reminds me of saturday classes......lol ur lucky ameeratul...this one lil midget used to whistle everytime i used to walk in to the classroom.....ya Allah so embawasing............

another time this 'brother' said assalmalaikum to me and then stuck his hand out for me to shake .....he is now no longer on this earth.

right
i have a problem
i'm exhausted
and theres no where to curl up and sleep as i'm in college
what shall i do ?
i also have a headache
everytime i clench my jaw my right temple abounds with pain...why?

[Rabi'ya]

:sl: sis AmeeratulLayl

Im really glad that things got sorted for you alhamdulillah. InshAllah it will be easier for you now.

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:

[Ameeratul Layl]

:sl: sis AmeeratulLayl

Im really glad that things got sorted for you alhamdulillah. InshAllah it will be easier for you now.

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:

:w:
JazakAllah sis.:loving:
Allah ma3ik:loving: :loving: :loving:

[Bittersteel]

I walked past a man tonight.It was quite dark.after going a few paces away from him,he called me from behind.He came up to me and shouted in front of my face telling to walk properly pointing his finger at my face.I just stood there and even though I asked him what was the problem he continued to keep shouting.Really weird guy,he looked drunk to me.

:sl:

[Rabi'ya]

Probably was, brother, there are plenty of wierdos around. MY friend had a woman do a similar thing to her. except it wasnt in her face, alhamdulillah it was ust across the road. She was screaming and pointing at my friend and following her down the street but on the opposite side of teh road.

wierdos ey!!

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:

[Muezzin]

right
i have a problem
i'm exhausted
and theres no where to curl up and sleep as i'm in college
what shall i do ?

Just sleep sitting up. It works for me.

i also have a headache
everytime i clench my jaw my right temple abounds with pain...why?

I dunno. take two of these and call me in the morning

I walked past a man tonight.It was quite dark.after going a few paces away from him,he called me from behind.He came up to me and shouted in front of my face telling to walk properly pointing his finger at my face.I just stood there and even though I asked him what was the problem he continued to keep shouting.Really weird guy,he looked drunk to me.

:sl:

If he gives you any more grief, give him the business end of one of these. He who drinks Australian, dies Australian.

Or something.

[Bittersteel]

that guy made those alqaida fanactics look sane.

:sl:

[Muezzin]

that guy made those alqaida fanactics look sane.

:sl:

Bleh. I do that everyday.

[Rabi'ya]

Bleh. I do that everyday.

brother, that is slightly worrying

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:

[Muezzin]

brother, that is slightly worrying

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:

You say that like it's a bad thing. :p

Anymore problems?

[nafy]

i got a problem........
ok ders dis guy in my class at college okay......
n he has da most funniest laff..........n am not jus bein nasty
am serious.........
every tym he laffs in class......
i jus cant stop laffing.........my face goes red and i end up gettin told off by my tutor....
i seriously cant stop......
i need ya help lol ;)
plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :)

[Muezzin]

i got a problem........
ok ders dis guy in my class at college okay......
n he has da most funniest laff..........n am not jus bein nasty
am serious.........
every tym he laffs in class......
i jus cant stop laffing.........my face goes red and i end up gettin told off by my tutor....
i seriously cant stop......
i need ya help lol ;)
plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :)

Laugh really loudly and say 'Ha ha your laugh is stupid!'

He'll never laugh again.

[nafy]

omg...........but das nasty innit bro lol ;)
got n e friendly way of gettin ova it?? ;)

[Muezzin]

omg...........but das nasty innit bro lol ;)
got n e friendly way of gettin ova it?? ;)

I don't do 'friendly'. I'm the guy whose solution to everything is assaulting random homeless men. :)

[nafy]

hahahahahaha.........oh i swear u'm ace bro!!!! :) ;)
thnx 4 mekin me laff u know..........its appreciated :)

[Muezzin]

hahahahahaha.........oh i swear u'm ace bro!!!! :) ;)
thnx 4 mekin me laff u know..........its appreciated :)

Nobody stays straight-faced on my watch.

Anymore problems?

[Halima]

What is the solution to decrease violence?

[Muezzin]

What is the solution to escalate world peace?

Get rid of all the morons leading it. Utopia will result.

[minaz]

What is the solution to escalate world peace?

Ban extremists on internet forums :rolleyes:

[Muhammad]

:sl:

OK, you guys seem like you know a thing or two about business, so I need some good quality advice on something:

I am being forced to sell items to some customers, and I really don't know if I should give these items away... they are quite precious you see. I've been making some bargains but I need help on what makes a good bargain and how do I know if I am making the right decision?

Looking forward to your replies...

:w:
p.s. would it be a good idea to contact Aamirsaab's agency instead or are you guys ok with this? :smile:

[minaz]

p.s. would it be a good idea to contact Aamirsaab's agency instead or are you guys ok with this?

If you want 2nd hand toilet paper than be my guess :p

Anywho brother Muhammad, you have came to the right place, we here at Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings INC, have experience in this trade in the form of.........watching every episode of "Only fools and horses". Think as me as Del boy and Muezzin as Rodney (but fat compared to skinny:p) Anywho the answer to your problem is simple, life is too short, live it to the max, think of all the extra bargains you could make by just getting rid of some silly precious ones :p
On an Islamic note (:p yeh had to be said), what you take into the hereafter are your deeds not your possessions :)

[Muezzin]

Right, that's sorted then. And by the way Minaz, I'm not Rodney - I think you'll find I'm more like Fletcher off Porridge.

Any further problems?

[Ameeratul Layl]

Right, that's sorted then. And by the way Minaz, I'm not Rodney - I think you'll find I'm more like Fletcher off Porridge.

Any further problems?

:sl:
No probs...well, yeah there is one....but u wont be able to do anything now..............just make dua that I pass my maths exam (taking it today:nervous: ).

Im shivering in my boots....:raging: :phew :phew

[Muezzin]

:sl:

I'll get right on it. Insha'allah you'll pass. I mean, I passed my maths exams and if I can do it, anyone can. :)

[Far7an]

Assalamu alaikum

My bag is too heavy, Muezzin can you come to Portland at 12:00pm and carry it for me?

I tried removing books that I won't need for today, it's still heavy.

The library has a vending machine for disk and cds, cool!

Also, have you signed the petition in the prayer room? We need some more people to sign it, any ideas on that?

And lastly, I don't have enough time for lunch today, any suggestions on where I can go, for a quick munch?

[Muezzin]

Assalamu alaikum

My bag is too heavy, Muezzin can you come to Portland at 12:00pm and carry it for me?

Sorry, I was out to lunch. :playing:

I tried removing books that I won't need for today, it's still heavy.

S'alright. Pretty soon, you'll have muscles as big as this guy's:

The library has a vending machine for disk and cds, cool!

It does? Wow.

Also, have you signed the petition in the prayer room? We need some more people to sign it, any ideas on that?

I didn't know there was a petition. :p I'll see if I can get there early on Friday insh'allah, and sign it then.

Wait a minute, what is the petion for?

And lastly, I don't have enough time for lunch today, any suggestions on where I can go, for a quick munch?

Two letters: SU. ;)

[Sahabiyaat]

i just killed a mouse...by accident

:-\

i'm a murderer.


what shall i do to get over my grief ?

[Ameeratul Layl]

:sl:

Okay u know wat. I cant concentrate in my chemistry class bcuz of two boys that act like.....a bunch of girls.:rant:

The story:

They each have a laptop and bring them into lesson. Why? So, that they can put their rock music on full blast.
Take yesterday for example, Adrain (lecturer) was going round the class and noting down stuff to put in the reports. He asked u s stuff like how is chem compared to blagh blagh suject....

ANYWAY, Adrian had given us a past exam paper to do while he went round asking others a few lardy daa questions. THOSE FREAKS!!! put the volume up full blast. I couldnt concentrate.....So, EVENTUALLY, i turned round and sed:

'Either u stick ur era phones in ur ear OR u switch that stuff OFF!!'

The volume went down for about 5 mins. Next minute, I can hear the crash banging music again.

I have prayed so much for that laptop to BLOW UP!!!!


wat can I do......its REALLY REALLY ANNOYING!!!!:mad:

By the way, if I havent mentioned it b4 ill tell u now....the music they listen to is:errrr.....metal and that horrid rock.....:rant: :rant: :rant: :rant:

Allah ma3akum
p.s: I need sum answers cuz I have lesson at about 10:30am.:peace:

[Muezzin]

If they don't wear these, you wear these

But seriously... tell the teacher that they're being disruptive if they persist in playing their (crappy, if I might be so bold in saying) music so loudly. Maybe then they'll get the picture.

[Ameeratul Layl]

If they don't wear these, you wear these

But seriously... tell the teacher that they're being disruptive if they persist in playing their (crappy, if I might be so bold in saying) music so loudly. Maybe then they'll get the picture.

:sl: Why do I have to be the one who has to stuff those horrid things in my ear for?:mad:

Plus!!! My chemistry teacher looks like one of those baddies out of James Bond.....but he is such a mouse (God forgive me for talking about my teacher like this:playing: ). He is like a woman wen it comes to shouting.....(basically, he just skreeches).

*sigh*:raging:

Allah ma3ak

[Muezzin]

Fine. Get a magnet and 'accidentally' drop it right behind the laptop. One fried circuit later - instant silence.

Apart from the cries of 'What the hell happened to my laptop?!'

[Ameeratul Layl]

Fine. Get a magnet and 'accidentally' drop it right behind the laptop. One fried circuit later - instant silence.

Apart from the cries of 'What the hell happened to my laptop?!'

:sl: Omg...brother this sounds good. No, wallah it does.

So, lets get it right:

I get hold of a magnet and then......?

*whispers*Where an earth do i get a magnet from bro?:playing:

Those freaks beta watch out....Ameeratul layl is on the loose:raging: :raging: :raging:

[Muezzin]

:sl: Omg...brother this sounds good. No, wallah it does.

So, lets get it right:

I get hold of a magnet and then......?

And then.. well, you really shouldn't put it right next to the laptop, because it'll really mess it up. ;)

*whispers*Where an earth do i get a magnet from bro?:playing:

You've got until 10.30 right? Nip down to B&Q.

Those freaks beta watch out....Ameeratul layl is on the loose:raging: :raging: :raging:

Incidentally, if this works, I accept no responsibility for any resulting charges of criminal damage, or proceedings otherwise undertaken.

How's that for covering my butt.

[Ameeratul Layl]

And then.. well, you really shouldn't put it right next to the laptop, because it'll really mess it up. ;)

Ahhh...brother.....where abouts do I put the magnet? Which part of the laptop?
You've got until 10.30 right? Nip down to B&Q.

Mommy sed im not allowed to go out of college. Id better not anyway. Horrd ppl in this world.:-\

Incidentally, if this works, I accept no responsibility for any resulting charges of criminal damage, or proceedings otherwise undertaken.

How's that for covering my butt.

Dont worry bro, Ill just cum back and haunt u ..IF ....i die (if they kill me.lol)

[Muezzin]

Magnets have a habit of messing up electronics. I don't think it matters which part of the magnet. Again, I'm not telling you to do anything resemblimg criminal damage, you're just infering it ;)

And you're not allowed to go out of college? No problem. Just 'accidentally' walk past the table and knock the computer off.

Ooops!

...well, that's what I might do. But I'm bonkers. Just tell the teacher, really.

Dont worry bro, Ill just cum back and haunt u ..IF ....i die (if they kill me.lol)

I don't believe in ghosts. :p

[Ameeratul Layl]

And you're not allowed to go out of college? No problem. Just 'accidentally' walk past the table and knock the computer off.

Ooops!

Lol.....no chanec bro. They treasure those laptops like God know wat.:rant:
...well, that's what I might do. But I'm bonkers. Just tell the teacher, really.
I wud...but like I sed.....Plus!! they are on the other side of the lab.


I don't believe in ghosts. :p[/QUOTE]

Brother, u must learn to believe in mIracles:-\ :playing:

[sapphire]

salamz.....this thread is working greatly....
i have a problem...

i dunno if its good or bad..but...well...umm....my sis...(who lives in a bedroom that is in the same house as me) has joined this forum...and i dont like ittttt........i mean she is totally bonkers over her maniac muslim forum and wont let me join that...then what does she do...comes and joins here...and funny...all my friends i have on this forum are the first to greet her and welcome her...so what do i do???

[minaz]

I havn't greeted nor welcomed her :p, anywho you should really ask my 50% sareholder in this company as he has a brother on this forum:)

[sapphire]

oh ya bro minaz...apart from you......

hes gone offline now....well i'll wait for him then...but anyhow...give your view....

[baby_muslimah15]

salamz.....this thread is working greatly....
i have a problem...

i dunno if its good or bad..but...well...umm....my sis...(who lives in a bedroom that is in the same house as me) has joined this forum...and i dont like ittttt........i mean she is totally bonkers over her maniac muslim forum and wont let me join that...then what does she do...comes and joins here...and funny...all my friends i have on this forum are the first to greet her and welcome her...so what do i do???

What is your sis name on here???

[minaz]

well to answer your problem, we have to look at it - give us a profile of your sister

[sapphire]

her present name is Riel...she wants to change it....bro zAk showed me who she is...(check out the do u have family members on LI thread poll) bro zAk has given the profile on their.....any how...him, sis Ameeratul lay and sis Rabi'ya welcomed her......atleast u 2 never...thanks for that....sooo...advice??...when will bro muezzin come...i just realised...is aamirsaab muezzins bro???coz then them 2 both are the advice ppl on here...one serious....and one jokey....

[minaz]

one serious....and one jokey....

one clever one stupid
one small one huge
one economist one lawyer
one pc games one ps2 games
one straight one ............. anyhwo I hope from this you can see both aamrisaab and Muezzin are contrasting guys, however they both provide this forum with their uniqueness. Yeh I've seen these to fight over the silliest thing (Muezzin hogging all the biscuits the frequent battle), however when in public (i.e. LI) they put this aside (well not always). Then again I know these 2 for last 9 years, and then again I don't specialise in sisters :p

[sapphire]

What?????????theyyyy are Brotherssssssss?????????????yaa Allahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I Never Knewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!who Wud Have Guessed!!!!!!!

[Sahabiyaat]

MURDERER

lol
it may not seem like a real problem but i was traumatised then
i woke up to keep my fast and it was stuck in those horrible sticker traps
i tried to free it with an old knife ...i think i poked it a little too much with the knife :-\ ...and it stopped moving
hah i was so upset i actually covered my fcae with my hands and stood there for a minute before realising i had to pray.

[Ameeratul Layl]

how...him, sis amiratullayl and sis rabiya welcomed her......atleast u 2 never...thanks for that....

:sl:
Firstly, its Ameeratul layl NOT amiratullayl....:playing: (*:loving: *)
secondly, was I not meant to welcome her?

Allah ma3ik

[sapphire]

nah sis Ameeratul layl u can welcome her if you want...up to you...sorry for spelling your name wrong....was just not in the mood....

[Ameeratul Layl]

nah sis Ameeratul lay u can welcome her if you want...up to you...sorry for spelling your name wrong....was just not in the mood....

:sl: I only asked cuz u mentioned: atleast u 2 never...thanks for that
I just thought....oops.

Anyhow, dont worry about the name. I was just messing. Come on sis. U ought to know me by now.lol.

Allah ma3ik:loving:

[sapphire]

ya sis...dont worry...

never ment it in a snapish way....

and yeah truly im getting to know ya all...

[Muezzin]

salamz.....this thread is working greatly....
i have a problem...

i dunno if its good or bad..but...well...umm....my sis...(who lives in a bedroom that is in the same house as me) has joined this forum...and i dont like ittttt........i mean she is totally bonkers over her maniac muslim forum and wont let me join that...then what does she do...comes and joins here...and funny...all my friends i have on this forum are the first to greet her and welcome her...so what do i do???

Beat her up. No one will know.

I'm joking of course. Just make her feel welcome. Cos if she doesn't settle in you'll beat her up.

:p

one clever one stupid

Oh, stop.

one small one huge

Yeah, I was telling him to lay off those damn burritos...

one economist one lawyer

Shakespeare hated lawyers. The feeling is mutual.

one pc games one ps2 games

Cos PC games are too much hassle.

one straight one .............

You shut up! I'm going to call to police! :p

(guess the reference and I'll give you a fish)

Yeh I've seen these to fight over the silliest thing (Muezzin hogging all the biscuits the frequent battle),

I was framed! Why does no one listen?!

[Ameeratul Layl]

I was framed! Why does no one listen?![/QUOTE]


:sl:
Bcuz....no one cares about wat u say.diiirrrrrrr.

Allah ma3ak

[Muezzin]

I was framed! Why does no one listen?!

:sl:
Bcuz....no one cares about wat u say.diiirrrrrrr.

Allah ma3ak

Perhaps.

Any more problems for Minaz and I to solve? Emphasis on me because I'm feeling arrogant.

[Ameeratul Layl]

Perhaps.

Any more problems for Minaz and I to solve? Emphasis on me because I'm feeling arrogant.

:sl: Okay fine. Ill give u something to think about.

I have these librarians right? Right!!

There is this one...she is:

old
snobby nose

and she has the most arrogant way of talking to ppl. Esp. me.

U see. I wear hijab and jilbabb. I personally think thats this is wat triggers her off!!!:playing:

She is very snappy to me. She dont look at me wen she talks....its as though im invisible *the thought of being invisible....lol*..

Wat shud I do?

I mean....*whispers* once I got really annoyed with her attitude and planned on tripping her down the stairs. But i remembered.....id probably go flying with her.loooooooooooooooool.

*ahem*

Allah ma3ak

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
you should tell the lady straight up and ask her why she is so disrespectful towards you and hope that clears the air between the two of you
wasalam

[sapphire]

bro muezzin...i'd laugh if my sis read wot u wrote....gd idea...even if it is a joke....but...i think she holds a certain degree of respect as she is my older sis....oh well...i give up...mite aswell welcome herrrr.....

[minaz]

I wear hijab and jilbabb.

does that mean your face is covered too?

[Ameeratul Layl]

does that mean your face is covered too?

:sl: Naaaa....if it was id be wearing 'niqab'.

I used to...but we wont go into that.lol.

Allah ma3ak

[minaz]

lol ok, just if you did cover your face "niqab" I wouldn't blame the librarian for not making eye contact etc. But as your face is visibly seen, thus your expression portrayed, from what info you have given us she's got a problem with you

[Muezzin]

:sl: Okay fine. Ill give u something to think about.

I have these librarians right? Right!!

There is this one...she is:

old
snobby nose

and she has the most arrogant way of talking to ppl. Esp. me.

Maybe she's just an arrogant dinosaur who doesn't like you. Not much you can do about that. Well, yeah, you could take the positive approach like MST said above, and try to 'make friends with her' and all that.

Or, you could use my solution - first print out this picture:

Then take it to Old Mrs Snobby Nose and tell her 'This is older than you but is somehow still better looking. Invest in Oil of Olay. And watch out for archaelogists. They like digging up fossils'

Heh.

U see. I wear hijab and jilbabb. I personally think thats this is wat triggers her off!!!:playing:

Tell her to wear niqaab - it might be an improvement!

She is very snappy to me. She dont look at me wen she talks....its as though im invisible *the thought of being invisible....lol*..

All librarians are like that. Apart from 'The Terminator' at my uni, but he's sort of funny. And 'Dexter' who got stuck between two tables. Long story.

I mean....*whispers* once I got really annoyed with her attitude and planned on tripping her down the stairs. But i remembered.....id probably go flying with her.loooooooooooooooool.

Now, that's illegal.

[Ameeratul Layl]

:sl:

That pic is spooky bro.....man...u are a bit....doo laly in the head.lol.

Anyway, I really like this part:

Then take it to Old Mrs Snobby Nose and tell her 'This is older than you but is somehow still better looking. Invest in Oil of Olay. And watch out for archaelogists. They like digging up fossils'

But we both know...its not gna happen.
so....ur gna have to cum up with sumthing esle.:rant: :rant: :rant: :rant:

Allah ma3ak

[Muezzin]

:sl:

That pic is spooky bro.....man...u are a bit....doo laly in the head.lol.

Anyway, I really like this part:

Then take it to Old Mrs Snobby Nose and tell her 'This is older than you but is somehow still better looking. Invest in Oil of Olay. And watch out for archaelogists. They like digging up fossils'

But we both know...its not gna happen.
so....ur gna have to cum up with sumthing esle.:rant: :rant: :rant: :rant:

Allah ma3ak

Fine.

Just put a little cardboard standee thing on your desk saying 'Don't hate me cos you're ugly.'

I know it should say 'Cos I'm beautiful' but let's just try this for a change.

Alternatively, if you want to take the friendly approach get her a packet of Werther's Originals. Works like a charm. Provided you haven't used the Dinosaur Plan, or Plan B above, first.

[Ameeratul Layl]

Fine.

Just put a little cardboard standee thing on your desk saying 'Don't hate me cos you're ugly.'

I know it should say 'Cos I'm beautiful' but let's just try this for a change.

:sl:
Wat about:

UR UGLY IM PRETTY SO STOP BEING SO JEALOUS U.....GREY HAIRED CREATURE

[Ameeratul Layl]

Fine.

Alternatively, if you want to take the friendly approach get her a packet of Werther's Originals. Works like a charm. Provided you haven't used the Dinosaur Plan, or Plan B above, first.

:sl: I wudnt waste a penny on her!!!

Allah ma3ak

[Muezzin]

:sl:
Wat about:

UR UGLY IM PRETTY SO STOP BEING SO JEALOUS U.....GREY HAIRED CREATURE

Yes.

Or you could call her a Womble. I know I'd hate that.

Next!

[Ameeratul Layl]

:sl:

Okay...thanks
*walks away looking.....very.....unsure*

Allah ma3ak brother.

[minaz]

walks away looking.....very.....unsure

many ppl do the same after listening to his unproffesional advice

[Ameeratul Layl]

many ppl do the same after listening to his unproffesional advice

:sl: Oh brother......:giggling: :giggling: :giggling: :giggling: :giggling: :giggling:

Ya Allah!!!!

Allah ma3ak

[Uthman]

:sl:

Whenever I walk into my class, the person that (has to) sit next to me keeps telling me to go home. After I solemnly refuse or say "Get outta town" (Warrington-type thing) she goes on to say what a lovely mother I'd make, even though I am a boy. I think she's mental (and random). Advice needed. Urgently.

:w:

[minaz]

Whenever I walk into my class, the person that (has to) sit next to me keeps telling me to go home. After I solemnly refuse or say "Get outta town" (Warrington-type thing) she goes on to say what a lovely mother I'd make, even though I am a boy. I think she's mental (and random). Advice needed. Urgently.

Lol don't worry i'm sure she's only messing around :p All you need to do is find a common ground. Lol I dunno how old you guys are but you must be around yr10 or under - I wouldn't be too bothered about her, are you?

[sapphire]

wow...u both online at the same time(bro minaz and muezzin).....hmmm...im trying to think of a problem....ok heres one...for the first time in my life i have no problem....and my sister seems to have dissapeared from the forum!!!!

[minaz]

my sister seems to have dissaperaed from the forum!!!!

Yes we solve all problems
p.s. LI staff we don't encourage memebers to dissapear...........................WE TELL THEM TO!

[sapphire]

LOL^^oh yay...got a problem...i go to an ALL girls islamic skul and this girl in my class she keeps following me around and trying to sit next to me as much as possible..and u get the drift...and its freaking me out!!!!!so um what do i do???ppl are starting to realise...and what do they do??laugh!!help!!!

[minaz]

introduce a tax

[Muezzin]

:sl:

Whenever I walk into my class, the person that (has to) sit next to me keeps telling me to go home. After I solemnly refuse or say "Get outta town" (Warrington-type thing) she goes on to say what a lovely mother I'd make, even though I am a boy. I think she's mental (and random). Advice needed. Urgently.

:w:

Get either:

a) A whoopee cushion

or

b) A thumb tack.

Both go on her seat. One has funnier results than the other.

LOL^^oh yay...got a problem...i go to an ALL girls islamic skul and this girl in my class she keeps following me around and trying to sit next to me as much as possible..and u get the drift...and its freaking me out!!!!!so um what do i do???ppl are starting to realise...and what do they do??laugh!!help!!!

See above.

[sapphire]

ok...thats a must try...and ill do it 2moz...as our head teacher is off on thursdays.....will keep you updated as im gonna be naughty and com on during the I.C.T lesson!!!

[Ameeratul Layl]

:sl:

bro muezzin I have sum news.

*sits comfortably*

You know the other day wen U told me to grab hold of a magnet and point it to the laptop of them freaks?Yeah!!! Well, amazingly I think Allah was watching and I think He felt the same about the music (annoyed).

I was doing this experiment right. And I happened to have looked down at a set of draws. I saw that the bottom one was ACTUALLY labelled 'magnets.' Muwahahahahahahahaha.

I tld this girl abut my plan a few days ago and she was in stiches. My mouth dropped wen I saw the draw FULL of magnets. I tugged at the girl's sleeve and she was lyk: Go for it!!!

I had a lab coat on (man, it felt feels cool wearing one of them)...The sleeves are quite long on them so I was able to hide it underneath my sleeve.lol.

I walked over pretending to look for the lighter for my experiment. I randomly put my hand next to the laptop facing the magnet towards it. NOTHING HAPPENED!!!!!

Brother, u really have to tell me how to do it.....I have the magnet....all u have to tell me is which part of the laptop it must face b4 the ADVENTURE BEGINS....muwahahahahahaha.

Allah ma3ak:playing:

[Rabi'ya]

OMA.....this is evilness in its best form.....please pelase pelase tellm e how it goes.....sounds fun, wish i was there to help.

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:

[Ameeratul Layl]

OMA.....this is evilness in its best form.....please pelase pelase tellm e how it goes.....sounds fun, wish i was there to help.

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:

:sl: Oh dont worry I will.The fun hasnt begun YET!!!!:giggling:

Allah ma3ik
p.s: Once br muezzin has provided me with that lil bit of info I have asked for......there will be no stopping me. :giggling:

[Muezzin]

:sl: Oh dont worry I will.The fun hasnt begun YET!!!!:giggling:

Allah ma3ik
p.s: Once br muezzin has provided me with that lil bit of info I have asked for......there will be no stopping me. :giggling:

Try putting it very close to the side/back of the laptop and just leave it there. It won't work if you just point it, you have to leave it in very close proximity.

And I'd just like to emphasise erm... don't do this if you think it'll get you into trouble, and if it does get you into trouble I will accept no responsbility. Heh.

Also, it might not work anyway, but heck, it's fun trying.

[Ameeratul Layl]

Try putting it very close to the side/back of the laptop and just leave it there. It won't work if you just point it, you have to leave it in very close proximity.

And I'd just like to emphasise erm... don't do this if you think it'll get you into trouble, and if it does get you into trouble I will accept no responsbility. Heh.

Also, it might not work anyway, but heck, it's fun trying.

:sl:
Ill see how I feel wen I go into lab the next tym I go. If I feel i ought to get rid of him and his stupid music then the magnet it will be.:playing:

How long do i stand there by the way....and wat makes u soooo sure itll work?

Allah ma3ak

[Muezzin]

:sl:

How long do i stand there by the way

Don't stand there, just leave it there. :p

....and wat makes u soooo sure itll work?

Allah ma3ak

The fact that magnets and computers don't mix? Like I said, it might not work, but it is some entertainment.

A more serious solution would be to ask them to turn the music down or get headphones.

But if the magnet plan doesn't work, rally your classmates and revolt. Maybe.

[Ameeratul Layl]

[QUOTE=Muezzin;112111]Don't stand there, just leave it there. :p

I cant...they are like a bunch of hawks.....:skeleton:
The fact that magnets and computers don't mix? Like I said, it might not work, but it is some entertainment.

Entertainment? Yeah, I know....I havent even strated yeta nd Im feeling happy.lol.:playing:
A more serious solution would be to ask them to turn the music down or get headphones.

I did....but it goes through one ear and out the other. Which is why....its tym to teach them a lesson.:raging:
Allah ma3ak

[minaz]

and if it does get you into trouble I will accept no responsbility.

wuss, i'll accept the responsibility, another good way is to place the magnet infront of the screen or the back then the monitor will distort!!

[Ameeratul Layl]

wuss, i'll accept the responsibility,

Really? Id rather get br muezzin in the black hole though. *dont ask me wat that means. I just made it up*

another good way is to place the magnet infront of the screen or the back then the monitor will distort!![/QUOTE]

Cool......wahoooo.....

Here I come.....:raging:

Allah ma3ak

[minaz]

well the best way to damage the laptop is to place the magnet directly below it (motherboard/hardrive etc). The magnet would simply wipe away the memmory or mess the system up, either way its a WIN WIN SITUATION!

[Ameeratul Layl]

well the best way to damage the laptop is to place the magnet directly below it (motherboard/hardrive etc). The magnet would simply wipe away the memmory or mess the system up, either way its a WIN WIN SITUATION!

:sl:
lol. Okay bro. JazakAllah.

Allah ma3k

[Muezzin]

well the best way to damage the laptop is to place the magnet directly below it (motherboard/hardrive etc). The magnet would simply wipe away the memmory or mess the system up, either way its a WIN WIN SITUATION!

Damn your knowledge of criminal damage! :p

[Far7an]

Assalamu alaikum

I really like this thread, and I enjoy reading it...

I keep asking myself, why do people try to ruin it? WHY !!! :'(

Please refrain from posting off topic comments:rant:

Barakallahu feekum

[Buthaynah]

:sl:

Sister Ameeratul I think you should have a bit of sabr. Do not do this horrible things to the boys. It s not good.

Salaam

[Bittersteel]

that's a violation of women's rights sis,(for not letting her do what she wants).

I got a problem.Bush lecturing us Muslims about democracy and freedom.Europeans lecturing us about secularism.what do you think I should?Kick the hell out of them?

[Muezzin]

that's a violation of women's rights sis,(for not letting her do what she wants).

I got a problem.Bush lecturing us Muslims about democracy and freedom.Europeans lecturing us about secularism.what do you think I should?Kick the hell out of them?

Nah, that's a crime. Just laugh at them and do your own thing. As long as you aren't breaking any laws or being a turd in general, it's all good.

[Sahabiyaat]

tut tut
for once bro muezzin aka snake man
u have given the wrong advice
u go for it brother abrar
kick em hard
and make sure it hurts.

[Muezzin]

tut tut
for once bro muezzin aka snake man
u have given the wrong advice
u go for it brother abrar
kick em hard
and make sure it hurts.

I may be crazy, but I ain't stupid. :p

Well not that stupid. Beating people up who we don't agree with or dislike may be funny, but not only is it illegal, it also reflects badly on Muslims and Islam.

[minaz]

yeh abrar don't kick them, you say they "lecture" you, well do what i do when i don't wanna be lectured - skive the bloody lecture! ANywho carry on practising your religion and no matter what outside influence you may come under carry on down the straight path

[Halima]

:sl: please refrain from free posting inshAllah :w:

[minaz]

yeh not on my thread!
p.s. where's the freeposting???? (apart form this one)

[- Qatada -]

yeah i agree with bro minaz.. its muezzin and minaz'z thread so they can post wa they want.. but its gota be within the islamic principles or else.... we gota tel dey mom n dad. :p


wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

[Bittersteel]

Nah, that's a crime. Just laugh at them and do your own thing. As long as you aren't breaking any laws or being a turd in general, it's all good.

you have just denied me from expressing my freedom.one of my problems(I am quite serious).

[Muezzin]

you have just denied me from expressing my freedom.one of my problems(I am quite serious).

Ah, but there is freedom within limits. We're told to abide the laws of the land and so we must. No matter how funny it is to beat up people you dislike, it's not right and it sure ain't legal.

Just ignore them as Minaz says. Or listen and laugh as I do. They're free to lecture and rant, and you're free to ridicule them.

[Sahabiyaat]

I may be crazy, but I ain't stupid

*cough*
:nervous:

[Muezzin]

*cough*
:nervous:

Get well soon. Happens to the best of us.

[minaz]

another problem solved - a medical one too, damn we'd make great doctors (but we aint sad :p) lol NEXT!

[sapphire]

Get either:

a) A whoopee cushion

or

b) A thumb tack.

Both go on her seat. One has funnier results than the other.


See above.

Good job i never tried that...I would have been expelled from my school for sure!!!was such a bad day!!!well anyhow i have over come the problem...well getting round it..i just get up and go sit by another friend if she sits by me (like today) and run home after school (who says niqabis cant run??)(although the police men in the police car who stoped at the zebra crossing must have thought we were mad)

[Muezzin]

Good job i never tried that...I would have been expelled from my school for sure!!!was such a bad day!!!well anyhow i have over come the problem...well getting round it..i just get up and go sit by another friend if she sits by me (like today) and run home after school (who says niqabis cant run??)(although the police men in the police car who stoped at the zebra crossing must have thought we were mad)

If you were feeling really crazy, you would have laid on the black stripes and dared them to drive.

[sapphire]

i would not have needed to dare them...they wouldnt have seen me if i laid on the black ones

[Muezzin]

i would not have needed to dare them...they wouldnt have seen me if i laid on the black ones

That's what I was driving at.

Gettit?

Ahh, forget it. Next!

[minaz]

[sapphire]

i am all covered in total black nottttt purple and pink and i cover my face!!!!...and as a matter of fact...i nearly got run over a while ago...maybe i should switch to wearing white in the night....or maybe i shud lift my head when crossing roads.....and becoz im feeling in a veryyyy horrid mood....u are soo going to pay for what u did.....

[Muezzin]

Chill out sis. Just wear this as well:

Can't miss that.

Gettit? Heh... heh, oh be quiet. :p

[sapphire]

then i'd look like the post men around my area....they (the police men) will come chasing after me to ask why the post hasnt been delivered properly around here....wrong idea!!!anything else that i should wear???

[Muezzin]

Just purchase a day-glow burqa/hijaab combo. But don't stand still for too long. They might mistake you for a traffic cone.

Next!

[nafy]

ummmmmmm.........i swallowed nemo......help lol ;)

[TEH]

Salam TEH it appears that you have not posted on our forums in several weeks, why not take a few moments to ask a question, help provide a solution or just engage in a conversation with another member in any one of our sections. A few popular destinations include our Halal Fun forums, our Basics of Islam and our General Chat

Firstly, LMAO...

Do I need therapy or something???

Secondly, I noticed this thread on the LI email.. LOL

Thirdly, here is my two rupees...

I just went to a wedding right, and it had music and it wasnt segregated and I thought should I stand up on stage and tell everybody that wearing a hijaab is fardh and that music is haraam???

What do you 2 think??

:)

[Muezzin]

ummmmmmm.........i swallowed nemo......help lol ;)

Don't worry. Just let nature run its course.

Firstly, LMAO...

Do I need therapy or something???

Don't we all?

Secondly, I noticed this thread on the LI email.. LOL

Thirdly, here is my two rupees...

Pence! I don't want any of your fake monopoly money dammit! :p

I just went to a wedding right, and it had music and it wasnt segregated and I thought should I stand up on stage and tell everybody that wearing a hijaab is fardh and that music is haraam???

What do you 2 think??

Go for it. And if they don't do squat, secretly shake the coke bottle on every single table and wait, see, and record it on your mobile to share with the world.

[nafy]

Don't worry. Just let nature run its course.

lol......ehem thnx bro ;) hahaha......nah seriously though thnx 4 making me laff on a dull morning :)

[~Raindrop~]

:salaam: just thought id pop on to see whos about. well, thts nt strictly tru. iv got a li'l problem and i was wondering if any1 can help. let me know please.:w: :-\

[Muezzin]

:salaam: just thought id pop on to see whos about. well, thts nt strictly tru. iv got a li'l problem and i was wondering if any1 can help. let me know please.:w: :-\

What exactly is the problem?

[~Raindrop~]

:salaam: j k 4 replying. its this guy at college. he stares and stares and stares. its so creepy and its practically impossible to avoid him. he follows me around nearly everywhere.(doesnt he have classes to go to???) i dont understand his problem. he hasnt even seen my face or anything coz i wear the veil. short of knocking his teeth out, i dont know what to do.please hlp!:w:

[Muezzin]

:salaam: j k 4 replying. its this guy at college. he stares and stares and stares. its so creepy and its practically impossible to avoid him. he follows me around nearly everywhere.(doesnt he have classes to go to???) i dont understand his problem. he hasnt even seen my face or anything coz i wear the veil. short of knocking his teeth out, i dont know what to do.please hlp!:w:

Simply go up to him and say in as deep a voice as you can 'Hi, my name's Bob and I'd like to get to know you better'.

Hopefully he'll run away screaming. :)

[~Raindrop~]

:salaam: i dont understand. hows that gonna tell him to back off? as 4 making a deep voice, impossible.anything else?:w:

[Muezzin]

:salaam: i dont understand. hows that gonna tell him to back off? as 4 making a deep voice, impossible.anything else?:w:

Pepper spray.

You know the rest. ;)

But seriously, tell a teacher or someone. No one has to put up with harassment.

[~Raindrop~]

:sl: i'll try that... j k 4 the advice although.........

[baby_muslimah15]

Okay dockz I need help........Lets see my teacher called last week, and was talking to ma mother, she was like Amirah's grades are droping in all of her subjects:nervous: so she says she put me under that(thingie-ma-gingie) I guess its like sumthing dunno anyways shes like I did that so it can help you...I hope u dont get discourage by it, and it well make u work harder WORK:uhwhat.....Anyways now ma computer is messed up I dont like homeschool anywayz nor do I like math or history, so I'm like woohoo the computer is down..But little do I no, that i'm only flunking.......So what do I do???? Plz your help iz really needed...........Hollaz

[Muezzin]

Okay dockz I need help........Lets see my teacher called last week, and was talking to ma mother, she was like Amirah's grades are droping in all of her subjects:nervous: so she says she put me under that(thingie-ma-gingie) I guess its like sumthing dunno anyways shes like I did that so it can help you...I hope u dont get discourage by it, and it well make u work harder WORK:uhwhat.....Anyways now ma computer is messed up I dont like homeschool anywayz nor do I like math or history, so I'm like woohoo the computer is down..But little do I no, that i'm only flunking.......So what do I do???? Plz your help iz really needed...........Hollaz

Erm... not to sound like a butthead or anything, but could you repeat that please? I don't really get what you're saying. :uhwhat

[~Raindrop~]

salaams brother. the pepper thing didnt work as i didnt have any. i tried to nick some from the canteen but i got caught. anyway, problem still not solved. PLEASE help. wassalam

[Muezzin]

salaams brother. the pepper thing didnt work as i didnt have any. i tried to nick some from the canteen but i got caught. anyway, problem still not solved. PLEASE help. wassalam

Just tell the guy, in no uncertain terms, to stop staring at you already. But make sure none of his mates are about cos they'll probably laugh at you and not listen.

[~Raindrop~]

:sl: thats gonna have to wait till later coz right now hes sitting across from me. doing the usual. i cant get out of this room coz some persons decided to stick me in here along with my class. i think i'll just crawl away and :'( :w: ps jazakallah 4 ur help bro.

[- Qatada -]

wa alykum asalam warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

sis, trust me - just lower your gaze and ignore him. dont even look at him and if you ever see him, just look away like you dont care - this way he'll realise that you dont care about him, and you'll get rewarded for it insha Allaah.

your better than that, cz your a muslimah. the good thing about us muslimz is that we be patient till its the right time.. then once a person is married, they can enjoy their time then and not feel guilty because of their past. unlike most of the kufar acts, which make marriage boring and they feel they locked up because they cant enjoy being with anyone whenever they want.. we know thats a sin so we dont go near that insha Allaah.


The Noble Qur'an - An-Nur 24:30

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what they do.

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.

sorry bro muezzin. jus needed to add that in insha Allaah.

wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

[~Raindrop~]

salaam.
jazakallah akhee will remember that. ps whats the easiest way to take sum1s brains out?
wassalam

[~Raindrop~]

salaams.
i was joking back there in case any1 thort otherwise...
wassalam

[Muezzin]

Ok.

Next!

[nafy]

i swear......da stuff i have 2 cum up wid just 2 keep u entertained lol

ok my problem is dat....
my college lecturer keeps given me lectures lol.......help hehehe *rolls eyes*

[Muezzin]

Well, that's kind of his/her job. :p

My advice is to attend them.

However, Minaz's advice might be to skive the ones you don't like. :p

[baby_muslimah15]

Erm... not to sound like a butthead or anything, but could you repeat that please? I don't really get what you're saying. :uhwhat

I wanna know how do I get out of this lazy mode I am in when it comes to schoolwork?????

[minaz]

get married that'll keep you busy

[Muezzin]

I wanna know how do I get out of this lazy mode I am in when it comes to schoolwork?????

Make like a Shia and beat the crap out of yourself. You'll never be lazy again. Unless you become masochistic, in which case you'd have to see a psychiatrist.

Next!

[nafy]

Well, that's kind of his/her job. :p

My advice is to attend them.

However, Minaz's advice might be to skive the ones you don't like. :p

lol.......hehehe......thnx ;)
so hu shud i listen 2?? u?? or minaz?? huuummmmmm :uuh: ;)

[~Raindrop~]

i cant stand my li'l brother. hes the worlds biggest brat,no joke. any suggestions?

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
give a big sisterly hug, and give him a big kiss and say you love him
wasalam

[~Raindrop~]

eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww. impossible. hes invented some sort of disease that prevents him from coming near me. i told you hes a brat.

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
don't be silly sis, he is your bro, your own flesh and blood bro
you got to love him
wasalam

[~Raindrop~]

:salaam: :embarrass i do love him brother. im just sick and tired of my parents believing HIM and not me, even though its his fault 99% of the time.:enough!: :enough!: :enough!:
:w: :coolious:

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
sis i know how you are feeling, i am always in that situation everyday, you just have to either ignore your bro or when you get the blame just think that your parents are blaming your bro
wasalam

[nafy]

i fink u are gonna get in2 truble bro.......4 given advice on muezzin and minaz's thread......
but gotta say......u giv betta advice ;) hehehe lol

[~Raindrop~]

salaams.
jazakumullah 4 the advice.
wassalam.

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
well sis needs help and advice now, n bro muezzin and minaz are not online, so i might as well help out
wasalam

[~Raindrop~]

although rep points will have to wait till 2moz.iv finished 2days.

[Muezzin]

:salaam: :embarrass i do love him brother. im just sick and tired of my parents believing HIM and not me, even though its his fault 99% of the time.:enough!: :enough!: :enough!:
:w: :coolious:

Sit down with your parents and calmly and quietly tell them that it's not your fault every single time.

If this doesn't work - let fly the dogs of war!

Or something.

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
lol bro
wasalam

[~Raindrop~]

dogs of war? how do i do that?
hey bro metsudaisi i thought you were gone.
wassalam

[Muezzin]

dogs of war? how do i do that?

Shh! You don't really release the hounds on your brother.

...That's a right I reserve for my siblings. :D

But seriously, calmly tell your brother that he shouldn't be so badly behaved. And then blackmail him if he doesn't listen. Sorted.

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
had to go lunch
i think the best way is to talk 1on1 with your bro and tell him that it isn't fair what he is doing to you and tell him that you love him and he should love you
wasalam

[~Raindrop~]

salaam
any ideas muezzin? if not, heres anotha 1. iv just skipped 2 lessons and my teachersare on the warpath....eeeeeeeek!

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
just tell them that it was for religious reason, you was giving and gainig knowledge via this forum
lol
wasalam

[~Raindrop~]

salaam
aw bro metsudaisi(i hate calling u that) thats so sweet. i'll try it and let u know what happens inshallah
wassalam

[~Raindrop~]

salam
just tell them that it was for religious reason, you was giving and gainig knowledge via this forum
lol
wasalam

:sl: it wouldnt be a lie would it? hee hee!:w:

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
no, and it isn't wrong either
you can call me bro MST for short
wasalam

[~Raindrop~]

salaams
it still dosnt sound right........
wassalam

[Muezzin]

All right, we're veering a bit off-topic. Let's stick to the subject. :)

salaam
any ideas muezzin? if not, heres anotha 1. iv just skipped 2 lessons and my teachersare on the warpath....eeeeeeeek!

Make sure you don't miss them again. Just be cool. ;)

[~Raindrop~]

salaam
wheres minaz?
wassalam

[Muezzin]

salaam
wheres minaz?
wassalam

It's best not to ask such questions - you may not like the answers. :p

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
lol bro you are clever as well as so damn funny
mashallah
wasalam

[~Raindrop~]

It's best not to ask such questions - you may not like the answers. :p

:sl: try it bro *grits her teeth*:w:

[Muezzin]

:sl: try it bro *grits her teeth*:w:

Ignorance is bliss, sis. ;)

Next please!

[~Raindrop~]

salaams.
i love your way of changing the subject...
wassalam

[minaz]

but gotta say......u giv betta advice

Oi

wheres minaz?

sorry just got home this evening
Anywho yeah will be on later after the football tonight, C'mon Leicester!

[nafy]

^^lol....no offence der bro.... ;)
ur advice is also appreciated :)

[minaz]

ur advice is also appreciated

You should appreciate our expert advice more

[- Qatada -]

dyu want a blue peter badge for it? :p

wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

[Halima]

:sl: What is the solution to stop free posting and off topic posting? :w:

[nafy]

ok fyn....wateva makes u happy bro...... ;)
ok den u ansa dis problem.........only u!! noone else!!
my dogs fell in luv wid da cat next door....but me n dat lady dont get on well....
she flings my dog ova da fence everytym it sets foot in2 her garden....
wat do i do?? how can i stop dis frm happning?? lol
hahhaahahaha......sorry cudnt help myself ;)
take care
w/salaamz

[minaz]

I think you should learn a lesson from this:
http://www.wolfie.cz/dog/

[minaz]

What is the solution to stop free posting and off topic posting?

create a fatwa

[libyanhero]

get married that'll keep you busy

lol you guys are hysterical, we need more comedians in here

[nafy]

I think you should learn a lesson from this:
http://www.wolfie.cz/dog/

ehem......no comment ;)

[baby_muslimah15]

I think you should learn a lesson from this:
http://www.wolfie.cz/dog/

Loool that was funny......Salaamz

[sapphire]

I think you should learn a lesson from this:
http://www.wolfie.cz/dog/

Loool!!!my cuzin bro tried that with my grandparents.....it got him in bigggggggg trouble.....

[Muezzin]

Kerpal rules!

And next please.

[Bittersteel]

edited.

[Muezzin]

Yeah, anyway, next please.

[TEH]

BOYS WHY ARE CONTRAVERSIAL THREADS CLOSED ALL THE TIME? DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A CONTRAVERSIAL SECTION? ISNT THE WHOLE POINT OF THE FORUM TO TALK ABOUT ISLAM, AND CONTRAVERSIAL STUFF IN IT??

:cry:

[Muezzin]

:sl:

As Thierry Henry said: 'I don't make the rules' :p

[TEH]

At the bottom of my profile, it says 'Warn: (0%)'

What is that...?

:hmm:

[Muezzin]

:sl:

Everyone has that. If you behave unacceptably, you will receive a warning percentage. Eventually, this can result in a ban. I doubt you'll have to worry about getting warned though.

[TEH]

o_O

Are you calling me a wuss???

:D

[Muezzin]

:sl:

Are you calling me a bully?

Cos if you are, I'll knock you down, steal your lunch money, and tie your underpants to a flag-pole you little ingrate!

(note: not really)

[TEH]

K then...

BTW, that might be how you deal with people in the Barbaric North, but that is certainly not how we deal with people in London...

:D

[Muezzin]

K then...

BTW, that might be how you deal with people in the Barbaric North, but that is certainly not how we deal with people in London...

:D

The Barbaric North? I'm from the East Midlands, you lovable Cockney country bumpkin, you. ;) :p

Next please :)

[Muslimah81]

Salaams

I have a problem................or actually its the little furry creatures in my garden who have the problem.

Everyday the local squirrel comes into the bottom of my garden and skips around here and there............hence Ive called him Skipinder. The problem is Skipinder doesnt like to share his food............and on many occasions he has scared off an entire family of magpies (The Magpinders) from eating too!

How do I help resolve this problem?

[Muezzin]

Give them all a big box of ladoo.

Then they'll start the best bhangra dance this side of the Animal Kingdom.

[Muslimah81]

There has been another development down at the bottom of the garden. It seems the local rats (Ratpreets) have realised my mum is throwing out left over chappatis for Skipinder and the Magpinders. My mother has decided to take action and is going to put some rat poison out.

Since Skipinder is partial to all kinds of food.............he might just mistake the rat poison as food too!

Will this be the end of Skipinder? How can I stop him from eating away to his own demise!?

[Muezzin]

Pay a visit to this place and buy in bulk:

[Muslimah81]

I cant even afford Ambala for myself let alone for my furry friends.

[Muezzin]

Then purchase a cage and set them loose in the shop.

Either way, they're getting their ladoo.

[minaz]

Skipinder hey?????? Maybe her fellow Australian can help resolve your problem :D

[Muezzin]

Crikey!

Any more problems for your friendly neighbourhood M and M's to solve?

[~Raindrop~]

Pay a visit to this place and buy in bulk:

NO! NO! Iv got a sweet shop too! come to mine! *thinks* but u need the laddoos for poisoning right? ambala will help you out... no questions asked. *smirks*
wassalam

[Zuko]

:sl:

I need help concerning a 'friend'... she's not really my friend, she happens to go around making herself other people's friends (does that make sense?)... She's annoying as hell and You see she's inviting me to her birthday party... She's planning on calling my mom and asking her if I can go... Knowing my mom, she's going to say yes and I'll be stuck, playing 'dress-up'... Lets just say I'm not into that... What do I do?:skeleton:

:w:

[~Raindrop~]

Crikey!

Any more problems for your friendly neighbourhood M and M's to solve?

FRIENDLY?????????????
(only joking bro :))

[Muezzin]

:sl:

I need help concerning a 'friend'... she's not really my friend, she happens to go around making herself other people's friends (does that make sense?)... She's annoying as hell and You see she's inviting me to her birthday party... She's planning on calling my mom and asking her if I can go... Knowing my mom, she's going to say yes and I'll be stuck, playing 'dress-up'... Lets just say I'm not into that... What do I do?:skeleton:

:w:

'Dress up'? I"m not even going to ask :p

If we're invited to an event, it is polite to go.

And plus, there'll be free food. That's never a bad thing.

...except when you're invited for a pork roast. Damn.

[~Raindrop~]

'Dress up'? I"m not even going to ask :p

If we're invited to an event, it is polite to go.

And plus, there'll be free food. That's never a bad thing.

...except when you're invited for a pork roast. Damn.

or when your fasting. HURRY UP IFTAARI!!!!!!!!

[Zuko]

Hmm, free food is great, but... but... she's so weird! First she'll makeme wear all these fruity clothes and then she'll make me watch dumb movies with hilary duff in it (forgot the name) and then have this dumb 'girl's session' where they talk about stupid, stupid stuff...

[Muezzin]

Hmm, free food is great, but... but... she's so weird! First she'll makeme wear all these fruity clothes and then she'll make me watch dumb movies with hilary duff in it (forgot the name) and then have this dumb 'girl's session' where they talk about stupid, stupid stuff...

Then just tell her: 'I don't want to go to your stupid party, you silly dumb-dumb head!'

Hey, it works for toddlers.

[Zuko]

;D ;D LOL, thanks for the help!

[Muezzin]

Happy to help :)

*ENGAGE PAKISTANI ACCENT MODE* Neck-a-sutt!

[Hisbul_Aziz]

:sl:

And your point is? :p

yeah and ur point is??????????????

[TEH]

I have a 10% warning level...

OH WHAT SHOULD I DO, WHAT SHOULD I DO, I MEAN, I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK...

Do you think I should ignore it and hope it goes away? How long do they last for anyway? Do you think it is time for me to leave LI? I dont think I am strict enough...

:(

[libyanhero]

i gotta question "how do pigs fly?"

[Muezzin]

yeah and ur point is??????????????

Ditto.

I have a 10% warning level...

OH WHAT SHOULD I DO, WHAT SHOULD I DO, I MEAN, I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK...

Bleh, that's nothing. When you get like 90 % is when you gotta worry.

Do you think I should ignore it and hope it goes away?

Sort of. Just keep out of trouble. ;)

How long do they last for anyway?

Ask the Mods.

Do you think it is time for me to leave LI?

Hell no.

I dont think I am strict enough...

Put it this way; you're stricter than Minaz and I put together, and we're still here. :p

i gotta question "how do pigs fly?"

By sprinkling fairy dust and thinking happy thoughts.

[TEH]

Minaz...

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[sapphire]

good to see your threads back alive...and theres a bit of humour round here....i have a problem...the mods(no names mentioned)keep threatening me in an indirect sence...what do i do????

[TEH]

Forgive me Minaz and Muezzin, but may I suggest something, in relation with this sisters qs...

I think we should start up a 'MOD Victim Support Group' Insha Allah...

:D

[sapphire]

Forgive me Minaz and Muezzin, but may I suggest something, in relation with this sisters qs...

I think we should start up a 'MOD Victim Support Group' Insha Allah...

:D

hehehe:giggling: :giggling: :giggling: hey bro...im going to edit my post as soon as minaz and muezzin has seen it...or ill be banned before i know it....

[TEH]

Naww, the MODs are good guys really, just dont post anything silly or get on their bad side, and they wont ban you. (edited abit.)

:D

[sapphire]

oh believe me......im one of the most disliked people on this forum!!!!

[TEH]

Hate is a very stong word, you shouldnt use it...

:)

[Brother_Mujahid]

Hate is a very stong word, you shouldnt use it...

:)

love the opposite of hate would that make it a very stong word aswell :coolious:

[Sahabiyaat]

umhm
stong indeed

[Muezzin]

good to see your threads back alive...and theres a bit of humour round here....i have a problem...the mods(no names mentioned)keep threatening me in an indirect sence...what do i do????

Lay low, keep out of trouble, stockpile a small army of nuclear-equipped battle tanks for that rainy day when you almost get banned... you know, the usual.

Forgive me Minaz and Muezzin, but may I suggest something, in relation with this sisters qs...

I think we should start up a 'MOD Victim Support Group' Insha Allah...

Feel free. Minaz and I are having trouble keeping within forum rules as it is, so I guess someone else would have to make it :p

oh believe me......im one of the most disliked people on this forum!!!!

So am I in certain circles. A fact I'm very proud of. :p

Next!

[sapphire]

lol....thanks for replying...minaz didnt even reply.....

[Muezzin]

That's cos he's a very busy man, sis. :)

Next!

[nafy]

my problem is dat......dese 2 blokes......called 'muezzin' and 'minaz' ;)
keep mekin me laff so much everytym i luk at dis thread dat my family thinks im losing da plot........dey fink am goin mad wen i sit here laffin ma head off staring in2 da screen........HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPP lol ;)

[Muezzin]

:sl:

Just get them to read the antics of those two loonies as well. Laughter is contagious.

Sort of like madness and the Plague. :)

[nafy]

lol hahahaha.....yeh thnx.... ;)

[minaz]

everytym i luk at dis thread dat my family thinks im losing da plot........dey fink am goin mad wen i sit here laffin ma head off staring in2 da screen........HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPP lol

Invite us round for dinner one evening, we only live down the road from you in Leicester - i'll drive, you Muezzin hold the map :p
P.s. I don't like spicey/chilli in my food, and could you cut the fat content for your other guest :p

[sapphire]

A little late but here goes...

:giggling: :giggling: :giggling: :giggling: :giggling: :giggling: :giggling: :giggling:

[Eliwen]

Lol, you've suddenly changed your clothes but yeah...

:giggle:

[sapphire]

change of clothes coz the first clothes were wrong...i didnt look evil enough!!!but anyway....(hey eliwen you helped me make it you know!!!)

[nafy]

Invite us round for dinner one evening, we only live down the road from you in Leicester - i'll drive, you Muezzin hold the map :p
P.s. I don't like spicey/chilli in my food, and could you cut the fat content for your other guest :p

lol.......hahaha......okay safe bro.... ;)
but now u gotta solve anova problem....being pakistani....
des nufin but spicey/chilli food at my house lol....
now wat do i do??
cant disappoint my guests!!! :eek: ;)

[TEH]

Make sure you have a bloody good Airfreshener...

Minaz's farts are outrageous, especially after he has the chilliness...

:D

[nafy]

lol hahahaha
das disgusting yuk...ders no need 4 dose kinda comments now lol ;)

[TEH]

Have you seen this thread???

;D

[nafy]

lolz........hahahaha.....yeh i c wat u mean lolz ;)

[Muezzin]

lol.......hahaha......okay safe bro.... ;)
but now u gotta solve anova problem....being pakistani....
des nufin but spicey/chilli food at my house lol....
now wat do i do??
cant disappoint my guests!!! :eek: ;)

Man, I'll eat anything halal. :p

[Uthman]

:sl:

What colour cutlery? Do you use cutlery? Hands? Feet?

:w:

[Muezzin]

:sl:

What colour cutlery? Do you use cutlery? Hands? Feet?

:w:

Hands pick up the silverware.

Unfortunately they're the hands of burglars.

Next!

[nafy]

Man, I'll eat anything halal. :p

ryt......das u sorted bro ;) :)

but how bout minaz??.........he sez he aint gonna ave n e fin chilly
or spicey.....
u know him well lol..........u tell me......wat shud i prepare 4 him den? :coolious:

[Muezzin]

ryt......das u sorted bro ;) :)

but how bout minaz??.........he sez he aint gonna ave n e fin chilly
or spicey.....
u know him well lol..........u tell me......wat shud i prepare 4 him den? :coolious:

Quorn Kebabs.

[nafy]

lol ok........i'll be expecting u 2 bros soon ;) :)

[minaz]

Very good that's next Sunday's lunch sorted out for us, anywho lets move away from mine and Muezzin's food invitations, NEXT!