Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings

[Re.TiReD]

Do mine eyes deceive me or did the master of might, magic and monday mornings just agree with a commoner :ooh:

[S.Belle]

OMG this is really creepy...but i cant look away...why cant i look away?

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Assalaamu Alaaykum

No?

.!

I didnt think there was a boring book with that name, guess im wrong,nobody would want to read it.

Your Geeky Crew/Gang membership is hereby revoked until such time as you prove your nerdiness or buy me some nachos. Whichever is more convenient.!

*proves nerdiness* Well a big word such as 'revoked' was used, it didnt make any sense at all! oh and 'convenient'. Those words are better of used with those who understand them.

*mission accomplished*

Whoah.

Good point.!

Yes, that looks sort of scary/ugly/geeky. lol it has a name for it when i edit it (the pic).

How come you always use this smiley " :-\ " ? It looks rather bemused and stressed, as I might if I were personally forced to pay the bill for the marriage ceremony and raucous Royal afterparty of Prince William and Kate Middleton. All those vol-au-vents, you know.

Next!

I use the smiley because thats how i feel most of the time. Though im never stressed, and instead of 'bemused' am mostly amused, so it just suits me best. Prince William and Kate Middleton, for a second i forgot who they were. There! Again another big word 'vol-au-vents' is that french?

Wa Alaaykum As'salaam

[Ramadhan]

Why do you always end your post with "next"?
what is in "next"?

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[GuestFellow]

What happens when you had sugar, spice and everything nice?

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

^You become a powerpuff girl..

(sorry couldnt resist)

Why do you always end your post with "next"?
what is in "next"?

Because he wants the next person to ask the next question, basically ask your 'next' question.

.. peace ..

[Skunkman]

Huh?

Ok, how do I wake up at the morning without using 5min. sitting on my bed like a ½ dead man.

[GuestFellow]

^ I feel like that lol.

[Musaafirah]

I wish my job required me to attend a Violence and Aggression Course.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Ah, you're lucky.
I have to attend the statutory update for it at some point.

Have you ever heard of the ancient art of 'eeny meeny miney mo'?

Well, that don't seem to work either.
Instead it was names out of a hat that were grouped into groups..

Either that's an exaggeration, or your employers have no regard for employment law.

I kid you not, it's to do with the whole NHS shake up and what not and providing a 24/7 service.
Except we obviously won't be working the full 24/7, but will be expected to work more saturdays and sundays than currently, with odd days off in the week.
I will no longer have my weekends! They'll instead become weekdayends, or whatever.

In any case, here's Mario battering Spider-Man.

I much prefer sonic.
What was with the late reply?
Oh wait, I haven't been on here in yonkers either.
Anyway, best substitute for yumma wumma licious chocolate?

[GuestFellow]

What happens when you combine Muessin, aamirsaab, Ramadhan, zÂk and Beardol? O_O

[minaz]

You get a whole can of whoop ass!

['Abd Al-Maajid]

How to get fired from your current job?

[Muezzin]

But the History says that Endy was never a boring person :hmm:

History says a lot of things. Plus, History can't windsurf on a gorilla in the middle of Hurricane Irene.

Translation.Im actually out of ideas :-[

I'm not gonna lie. By the time I multiquoted this, I forgot what you asked in the first place.

But Dam n is a simple,little and cute word to curse someone,something.

I also find it cute to condemn people to hell. I do it all the time. It's fun.

This advice of washing mouth with soup

I love washing my mouth out with soup, especially chicken soup. Mmm, the only cure for a cold...

is Super rude ^o) I think the Super Mod needs to

I nearly OD'd on them, but then I realised they were actually Refreshers and bought another pack.

My question is still there.
"How to save the word Dam n from automatic Edit"

You answered your own question, dammit!

Do mine eyes deceive me or did the master of might, magic and monday mornings just agree with a commoner :ooh:

Both.

That is both eyes deceived you.

About both things.

Both at the same time.

OMG this is really creepy...but i cant look away...why cant i look away?

You sound like my doctor.

Assalaamu Alaaykum


I didnt think there was a boring book with that name, guess im wrong,nobody would want to read it.

You know you want to.

*proves nerdiness* Well a big word such as 'revoked' was used, it didnt make any sense at all! oh and 'convenient'. Those words are better of used with those who understand them.

*mission accomplished*

Both of those words were used correctly in the text you quoted: 'Your Geeky Crew/Gang membership is hereby revoked until such time as you prove your nerdiness or buy me some nachos. Whichever is more convenient.'

So go get me some nachos.

I use the smiley because thats how i feel most of the time. Though im never stressed, and instead of 'bemused' am mostly amused, so it just suits me best. Prince William and Kate Middleton, for a second i forgot who they were. There! Again another big word 'vol-au-vents' is that french?

You bet your croissants it's of French origin.

Why do you always end your post with "next"?
what is in "next"?

I actually buy clothes at Next.

What happens when you had sugar, spice and everything nice?

Gayness.

^You become a powerpuff girl..

Also that.

Huh?

Eh?

Que?

Porquois?

Cantalopes?

Ok, how do I wake up at the morning without using 5min. sitting on my bed like a ½ dead man.

Take a page out of Wallace's book.

Ah, you're lucky.
I have to attend the statutory update for it at some point.

I wonder if martial artists need to attend a statutory update for Violence and Aggression.

Well, that don't seem to work either.
Instead it was names out of a hat that were grouped into groups..

Was the hat a beret? Wouldn't have made much difference, it's just that berets are very underrepresented in these things you know.

I kid you not, it's to do with the whole NHS shake up and what not and providing a 24/7 service.
Except we obviously won't be working the full 24/7, but will be expected to work more saturdays and sundays than currently, with odd days off in the week.
I will no longer have my weekends! They'll instead become weekdayends, or whatever.

I'm sure your services are very much appreciated by all NHS patients.

I much prefer sonic.
What was with the late reply?

I was blazy. Busy and lazy.

Oh wait, I haven't been on here in yonkers either.
Anyway, best substitute for yumma wumma licious chocolate?

Intravenous sugar drips. They're so delectably unethical.

What happens when you combine Muessin, aamirsaab, Ramadhan, zÂk and Beardol? O_O

This.

How to get fired from your current job?

I'm not allowed to give you the best answer as it would involve putting the words 'roundhouse kick' and 'your boss' in the same sentence.

Next!

[joyous fairy]

Is this a thread for asking random questions?

If Yes:

Can I ask a question?

If Yes:

Have I already asked without permission?

[Ramadhan]

Can I ask a question?

Good question.

What is a question?

['Abd Al-Maajid]

I'm not allowed to give you the best answer as it would involve putting the words 'roundhouse kick' and 'your boss' in the same sentence.

LOL! Too late. :D

[arabic alphabet]

No question ;D

[*Yasmin*]

why does someone who you don't know and hides his wall poke you in facebook?

[SFatima]

Why do snakes bite and earthworms dont?

[جوري]

did you eat Minaz?

[Muezzin]

Is this a thread for asking random questions?

When I first started this thread back in 2005, I intended it as kind of an agony uncle thing. With sock monkeys.

If Yes:

Can I ask a question?

If Yes:

Have I already asked without permission?

If a tree falls in the forest when nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet?

Dude, where's my car?

Good question.

What is a question?

An answer.

LOL! Too late. :D

Did you roundhouse kick your boss?

Was it awesome?

Did you do a backflip?

Did your boss do a backflip?

No question ;D

why does someone who you don't know and hides his wall poke you in facebook?

A wise man once said, 'Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know'.

Why do snakes bite and earthworms dont?

Depends on the earthworm. I mean, sandworms bite.

Probably.

did you eat Minaz?

Next! Last call for 2011!

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Did you roundhouse kick your boss?

Was it awesome?

Did you do a backflip?

Did your boss do a backflip?

No, I resigned. :

[Muezzin]

No, I resigned. :

But you still could have hurricane kicked your way out of the building.

Next!

[Periwinkle18]

A wise man once said, 'Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know'.

good one :P

what should one do if someone u don't know keeps giving miss calls on ur cell phone??

[Scimitar]

why does someone who you don't know and hides his wall poke you in facebook?

FB is full of KUFR imo.

[~ Sabr ~]

:salamext:

Are you still here?

Do you remember me?

Where are all the other members?

I just started a new job and got a job interview for something else. Should I go? If yes why and if no why?

[Muezzin]

good one :P

what should one do if someone u don't know keeps giving miss calls on ur cell phone??

Step 1: Call them back.

Step 2: Point your phone at your computer speaker.

Step 3: Play this video:

:salamext:

Are you still here?

I think so.

Do you remember me?

Of course.

Where are all the other members?

They're being experimented on.

It's possible.

I just started a new job and got a job interview for something else. Should I go? If yes why and if no why?

Toss a coin. Better yet, toss two coins. If you still can't decide do what I do:

....

Well, actually, I'd probably just fart.

A more constructive approach would be to compare the prospects of the current job with that of the one you're interviewing for, compare salaries, try and get a feel for which organisation you'd feel happier in, and of course think about which of the two jobs you'd actually want to do more than the other. If that's the one you've been offered an interview for, tell your superiors at the current job in case you need a day off to attend.

Or you could pull a sickie, but that's not cricket.

Next!

[Scimitar]

Do istikhara... lol tho

Scimi

[Muezzin]

Do istikhara... lol tho

Scimi

Duly noted.

Next!

[Asiyah3]

Why is it people need a break from studying now and then, e.g. a person can study 45 minutes and then has to take a break 10-15 mins?

Secondly, Is this break time waste?

[Ramadhan]

Are you really a legit muezzin? what's your style?
at which masjid do you normally do adzan?

[Periwinkle18]

Step 1: Call them back.

Step 2: Point your phone at your computer speaker.

Step 3: Play this video:





Next!

lolz thts good too, the guy was bugging so much me n my frnd made him hear the flushing of the toilet ;D didn't get a call after that :) alhumdulillah

[Muezzin]

Why is it people need a break from studying now and then, e.g. a person can study 45 minutes and then has to take a break 10-15 mins?

Because of the way the brain works, most people find it effective to concentrate on a subject for around 45 minutes before taking a short break. If you go over this time limit, you tend to lose concentration, or else you simply don't retain what you're studying.

Secondly, Is this break time waste?

Only if you use it to feed hand grenades to chimpanzees.

Because that's not very nice.

Are you really a legit muezzin?

Define 'legit'.

what's your style?

I use my mouth. I'm kind of old-school that way.

at which masjid do you normally do adzan?

lolz thts good too, the guy was bugging so much me n my frnd made him hear the flushing of the toilet ;D didn't get a call after that :) alhumdulillah

Ah, the old 'point your phone at a flushing toilet' trick. I do that all the time.

Actually, I don't.

Next!

[AhlaamBella]

SUBHANALLAH!:awesome:

Can't believe this thread is still going!

Do you ever get bored/lose motivation??

[GuestFellow]

Muezzin, will you marry me? :(

[Muezzin]

SUBHANALLAH!:awesome:

Can't believe this thread is still going!

Neither can I.

Do you ever get bored/lose motivation??

Nah. Just gassy.

Muezzin, will you marry me? :(

Yes, I will marry you to the fairest maiden in all the land.

Now all I need is your credit card number.

Next!

[Galaxy]

Do we ask this brother academic questions?:heated:

[Muezzin]

Do we ask this brother academic questions?:heated:

If you have to ask the question, you're not ready to hear the answer.

Next!

[Periwinkle18]

Neither can I.


Nah. Just gassy.


Yes, I will marry you to the fairest maiden in all the land.

Now all I need is your credit card number.

Next!

lolz

what should one do when they know something and doesnt want to tell the other person buh the other person keeps asking u to tell tht thing

[AhlaamBella]

What should you do when your husband's non-muslim sister keeps flirting with your best friend's muslim husband?? And your husband is oblivious because "it's only his sister"!!! :heated:

[Muezzin]

lolz

what should one do when they know something and doesnt want to tell the other person buh the other person keeps asking u to tell tht thing

Tell them: 'Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead'.

It is an old proverb of the Klingon tradition.

What should you do when your husband's non-muslim sister keeps flirting with your best friend's muslim husband?? And your husband is oblivious because "it's only his sister"!!! :heated:

If you go to the Help and Support forum, you will get answers ranging from 'Have a Serious Talk with All Involved' to 'Blame America', but you're not in the Help and Support forum, and you're asking for my help.

So I say throw socks at them until they see the error of their ways.

Next!

[Beardo]

How do I get an A in my Calculus exam?

[Muezzin]

How do I get an A in my Calculus exam?

Well, that's sort of a loaded question, and there are many different valid answers. However, I think the most relevant one for your purposes involves a detailed spreadsheet covering illegal foreign renditions, the complete human genome and the secret ingredient for McDonald's fillet-o-fish tartar sauce.

A popular (though banal) alternative is to study.

Next!

[~Zaria~]

How did I miss this 356 page thread?! LOOL.

You must be really good bro Muezzin - considering you created this thread (11/04/2005) before your join date (June 2005)!

This is a side to the super-mod that I had certainly not seen/ expected : )

Good thing you dont charge for your counselling services.....:P


Salaam

[Muezzin]

How did I miss this 356 page thread?! LOOL.

I know. Once I was swimming, and I got totally blindsided by a hippopotamus.

Actually, that never happened.

You must be really good bro Muezzin - considering you created this thread (11/04/2005) before your join date (June 2005)!

Rejoice at my Time Travelling Skillz.

Alternatively, read 11/04/2005 as MM/DD/YYYY.

This is a side to the super-mod that I had certainly not seen/ expected : )

Good thing you dont charge for your counselling services.....:P


Salaam

Can you say 'hidden costs'?

So can I, but I don't know how to implement them on this thing. If I had a penny for every post on this thread, I'd have over 50 quid.

Next!

[Periwinkle18]

im bored what should i do?

i missed this thread thought i'd post something :p

[Endymion]

Find the other bored and chat with her on FB :p


Ooopss am i replying on behalf of Bat man :omg:

[Periwinkle18]

wasn't it Bat-Mod??

[Muezzin]

im bored what should i do?

That's what I do when I'm bored. Although my chicken suit is really hard to iron.

i missed this thread thought i'd post something :p

Post on this thread while you're at it.

Find the other bored and chat with her on FB :p

Alternatively, you could find the other Facebook and chat with it on Twitter.

I know this is possible, for I have dreamt it.

Ooopss am i replying on behalf of Bat man :omg:

wasn't it Bat-Mod??

Next!

[Periwinkle18]

wht if theres no one nxt??

[Periwinkle18]

what should one do if ur really tired n ur eyes r closing buh u dun wanna go to sleep cuz ur friend who lives abroad comes online on fb n u want so wanna talk to ur friend??

[~ Sabr ~]

How does one get their sleep when Isha is at 10pm and Fajr is at 3am?

[Galaxy]

How does one get their sleep when Isha is at 10pm and Fajr is at 3am?

That's how it's like where I live during the summer-- Isha comes late at night and the latest time you can catch Fajr is 5:00. I had no idea how I survived 4-5 hours of sleep last summer.:phew

[Periwinkle18]

hmm i usuallly sleep at around 12 or 1 am n wake up if i leave my witr then i wake up a 4 am otherwise fajr time which is 5 something am in the summers

hmm i guess im kinda used to sleeping late n waking up early cuz wen i used to b in skool i used to study at nite..

[Muezzin]

wht if theres no one nxt??

I eat a chip.

what should one do if ur really tired n ur eyes r closing buh u dun wanna go to sleep cuz ur friend who lives abroad comes online on fb n u want so wanna talk to ur friend??

Close your eyes and type. It's known as Sleep Talking.

How does one get their sleep when Isha is at 10pm and Fajr is at 3am?

You could sleep between Isha and Fajr, wake up for Fajr, then go back to sleep until 6am or 7am or whenever your alarm clock becomes unbearable psychological torture of the self-inflicted variety.

That's how it's like where I live during the summer-- Isha comes late at night and the latest time you can catch Fajr is 5:00. I had no idea how I survived 4-5 hours of sleep last summer.:phew

I know where you slept last summer.

Actually, I don't, I just felt like saying that.

hmm i usuallly sleep at around 12 or 1 am n wake up if i leave my witr then i wake up a 4 am otherwise fajr time which is 5 something am in the summers

Interesting.

hmm i guess im kinda used to sleeping late n waking up early cuz wen i used to b in skool i used to study at nite..

Very interesting.

Next!

[Qurratul Ayn]

Where's Brother minaz??? Haven't seen him posting for a while... Unless he left when I was inactive on the forum ^o)

[IbnAbdulHakim]

LOL is this thread still alive.



eeeeh muezzin, whys it so hard for a man to learn how to cook :heated:

[Muezzin]

Where's Brother minaz??? Haven't seen him posting for a while... Unless he left when I was inactive on the forum ^o)

Nobody knows the answer to this question, just as nobody knows what fire is made of.

Except for anyone with a basic understanding of particle physics, but hey, point stands.

LOL is this thread still alive.

I suck at these meme things.

eeeeh muezzin,

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

Magic, magic E.

Magic, magic E.

Slim becomes Slime with me.

Strip becomes Stripe with me.

Pip becomes Pipe with me.

Magic, magic E.

Magic, magic E.

whys it so hard for a man to learn how to cook

The best chefs in the world are men, you know.

Next!

[Qurratul Ayn]

Well, that clears it up all up. Yep, sure does.

*Note to self, don't ask silly questions, leave well be

Lol

[IbnAbdulHakim]

The best chefs in the world are men, you know.

Next!

you tryna say I aint a man coz im struggling to cook, CAN YOU COOK? EH? EEEH?

[Muezzin]

Well, that clears it up all up. Yep, sure does.

*Note to self, don't ask silly questions, leave well be

Lol

There are no silly questions, only silly answers.

Yes.

Move along.

you tryna say I aint a man coz im struggling to cook, CAN YOU COOK? EH? EEEH?

If by cook you mean fry an egg, make cheese on toast and open a pot of yoghurt, then yes, yes I can.

Next!

[Qurratul Ayn]

:haha:

That's all

[Asiyah3]

Does a person's body become cold after they die? Afterall, it's the body (at least the cardiovascular system and metabolism) that keeps the body warm.

[Muezzin]

:haha:

That's all

You remind me of my doctor.

Does a person's body become cold after they die? Afterall, it's the body (at least the cardiovascular system and metabolism) that keeps the body warm.

Of course it does.

The real question is, does a person's cold become a body?

Can you imagine what life would be like if that happened? It would bring a whole new meaning to the term 'head cold'.

Plus, sneezes would be insane.

Next!

[Periwinkle18]

Wht should one do if their 3 yr old student bullies another Kid in class everyday?

[Muezzin]

Wht should one do if their 3 yr old student bullies another Kid in class everyday?

Well, the law requires me to answer that you should sit the tiny bully down and tell him it is very wrong, and if the problem persists, his parents should be informed.

But really, you should just eat his toys.

Next!

[Ali_008]

How do you fight procrastination and lack of sleep? Understandably, even sleep in this case is being procrastinated...

[Periwinkle18]

Where is muezzin??

[MBH101287]

Never have I ever sat down and read an entire thread that was this long on any site, this one was full of laughs that I needed.
Peace be with you.

[Iceee]

If someone needs a laugh, start reading this thread from the beginning. :awesome:

Inshallah everyone who replied to thread is doing well.

[Scimitar]

There is only ONE Master of Might - Allah

magic is haraam

and Monday mornings are for atheist westerners to complain about - muezzin and whoever else it was who started this thread didn't think things thru properly did they?

enjoy your shirk while it lasts

[Muezzin]

How do you fight procrastination and lack of sleep? Understandably, even sleep in this case is being procrastinated...

I'll tell you later.

Where is muezzin??

Where is the universe?

Never have I ever sat down and read an entire thread that was this long on any site, this one was full of laughs that I needed.
Peace be with you.

We aim to please.

If someone needs a laugh, start reading this thread from the beginning. :awesome:

Inshallah everyone who replied to thread is doing well.

Two thumbs up to you, Ice with three e's!

There is only ONE Master of Might - Allah

magic is haraam

and Monday mornings are for atheist westerners to complain about - muezzin and whoever else it was who started this thread didn't think things thru properly did they?

Actually, I named it after a series of computer games called Masters of Might and Magic, because they were utterly rubbish but had a fun-sounding name. I added Monday Mornings because it would be funny and alliterative with 'Muezzin' and 'Minaz'. I also explain some more about this in the first post.

enjoy your shirk while it lasts

In light of the above, it's pretty clear that no shirk was intended.

Next!

[noraina]

Assalamu Alaykum,

Some of your posts made me laugh aloud. :D This thread is actually utterly insane and doesn't make a word of sense but Alhamdulillah it made me smile.

So my exams are coming up and seeing your extensive experience how do I get an A* in Psychology? I've been trying to perform a test of animal intelligence on my chickens and they fail with such consistency and determination I am beginning to think its deliberate and a sign of highly developed mental abilities, what do you say?

[Muezzin]

Assalamu Alaykum,

Some of your posts made me laugh aloud. :D This thread is actually utterly insane and doesn't make a word of sense but Alhamdulillah it made me smile.

Just like British probate laws.

So my exams are coming up and seeing your extensive experience how do I get an A* in Psychology? I've been trying to perform a test of animal intelligence on my chickens and they fail with such consistency and determination I am beginning to think its deliberate and a sign of highly developed mental abilities, what do you say?

I think you need to try a new approach. When you next see them, repeat the following lines of ancient verse:

Cluck, cluck,
Cluck, cluck,
Chicken
Lay a little
Egg for me

Cluck, cluck,
Cluck, cluck,
Chicken
I want one for
My tea

If indeed an egg is laid in time for tea, it is indisputable proof of avian intelligence. If not, well, I guess the question of their intelligence will just peck away at you forever until an idea hatches.

Next!

[minaz]

***Service Announcement***
Due to Covid 19, we regret to inform that we will no longer be providing exam tips, as exam season should be cancelled.

Instead we are opening a new venture - as of Monday morning- in where best to acquire toilet paper.