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Zuko
11-22-2005, 10:54 PM
:sl:

I have another problem (don't I always), sorry! :embarrass but its annoying, and stressful. Some members may remember the whole 'Romeo and Juliet' dilemma I had (Here), and how I ended up losing a friend. Well that friend and I have made up. :-\ I know what everyone is probably thinking, but despite our fight, I missed her as a friend. School was boring and dull without her cracking jokes and making me laugh. I've noticed, with the two days we've been talking that she's completely forgotten about her romeo and barely mentions his name. But, the problem is that I talked to my mom about speaking to her again and she said to limit it to salaam only, and to never talk to her more than that. Since we're friends, I can't bear to stop talking to her again... I don't want to disobey my mom, but I'm stuck here... I'd totally appreciate any advice... Thanks for taking the time to read this.

:w:
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baby_muslimah15
11-22-2005, 11:02 PM
Omg I had a situation just like that.....Me and this girl was sooooo tight, but we were bad 4 eachother...So my mom was like u cant talk 2 her dont sit by her or anything...I was soooo sad cuz I really missed talkin to her, we use to make eachother laugh and all that, but then as time went on...I started obeying my ummie and I found a better friend, so InshaAllah my advice 2 you, is if you lose something dear to you..Allah well give u something better in return....Hope this helps....Salaamz
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Zuko
11-22-2005, 11:04 PM
:sl:

Jazakallah Khair for the reply sis... I think you have a point... maybe I will get a better friend, but the question is, If I leave her, how do I do it, without being too harsh? Thanks again,

:w:
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TEH
11-22-2005, 11:04 PM
Ehh, maybe you should tell your mum this, instead of us, see what she says...

Thats what mums are for...

:)
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sapphire
11-22-2005, 11:16 PM
i was in a situation like you...and i just broke it to her straight...and we dont hold grudges...we just get along like people we dont know well but just be polite to...i hope it turns out well for you sis....
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Zuko
11-22-2005, 11:28 PM
Originally Posted by TEH
Ehh, maybe you should tell your mum this, instead of us, see what she says...

Thats what mums are for...

:)
Tell her that we're friends? She's going to kill me! :-\
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TEH
11-22-2005, 11:29 PM
No, tell her that you would like to be friends with her. Ask her if it would be alright if you got a little closer, and if it seemed to get weird again, then you would just break it off again...

:)
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sapphire
11-22-2005, 11:33 PM
Originally Posted by Aalimah
Tell her that we're friends? She's going to kill me! :-\

sis....it will work out better if you tell your mum then if she finds out vice versa...trust me..im speaking from experience....
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Zuko
11-22-2005, 11:35 PM
:sl:

Its not that easy... She'd start saying how I want to dishonor the family and how I don't belong in it and such... Me and my mom don't get along well... I'm thinking, leaving her would be better (my friend I mean) but I don't know how to... I've never been happier talking to her these last two days and I hate having to leave her again... Wouldn't that make me hypocritical? That first I tell her we're not friends, then we make up, then I break it off again? Anyway, thanks for the replies everyone...

:w:
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sapphire
11-22-2005, 11:45 PM
now your situation just sounds like a copy of mine....
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baby_muslimah15
11-22-2005, 11:53 PM
Originally Posted by Aalimah
:sl:

Its not that easy... She'd start saying how I want to dishonor the family and how I don't belong in it and such... Me and my mom don't get along well... I'm thinking, leaving her would be better (my friend I mean) but I don't know how to... I've never been happier talking to her these last two days and I hate having to leave her again... Wouldn't that make me hypocritical? That first I tell her we're not friends, then we make up, then I break it off again? Anyway, thanks for the replies everyone...

:w:
Well then.....Like I said I was in a situation like this aswell, and I told the gurl, my ummie said I cant hang with u anymore and she was like okay...I well still talk 2 her, but mot as much, it was a thing where it well be all da girls and we well just happened to agree on sumthing or whatever...So just tell your friend(that your mom said u have to break it off) but u well aswayz love her as your sister in Islam(if shes muslim) and ya know..If she starts sayin things like your being hypocritial, then say its not being hypocrital, its just obeying your mom......Salaamz
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*charisma*
11-23-2005, 12:01 AM
Assalamu Alaikum

Friends are important sis, however your mother should always come first.
She knows whats best for you and by pleasing your mother you are pleasing Allah.
You have to ask yourself if hanging out with this girl is going to make you a better muslimah or is she just someone that will take time away from you and from worshipping Allah.

If you dont want to talk to her, then kind of seclude yourself from her slowly she'll get the message or move apart from you as well and if she asks just tell her the truth.
Talk to your more about it too inshallah.

Someone said to me once:
"If your ever in a situation and you dont know what to do, ask yourself what would the Rasul do in that situation.."

Fi aman Allah
w'salaam
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Zuko
11-23-2005, 02:23 AM
:sl:

Jazakallah Khair for the advice everyone... I guess I'll ask my other friend for help when talking to her and to back me up... I just hope nothing goes wrong... Insha'allah it won't.... Jazakallah Khair everyone for the advice and sorry about being such a pain...

:w:
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*charisma*
11-23-2005, 02:27 AM
Assalamu Alaikum

nah sis u werent a pain at all.. u just asking for guidance
and u dont need praise us as it is our job to help our brothers and sisters fillah :) its something that should be expected
ask whatever u want sis at anytime..no worries inshallah

love ya for the sake of Allah
fi aman Allah
w'salaam
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solid_snake
11-23-2005, 03:20 AM
why can't we all just get along? :D :p
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Zuko
11-23-2005, 11:50 AM
^^^ :) ;D ;D lol
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tofy
09-06-2007, 08:04 AM
aslm aleykum
mashaalah
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AnonymousPoster
09-07-2007, 12:10 AM
:sl: Please forgive me for asking this. I have a very good guy friend. However, not only am I a female, but he is an atheist. I've only recently started being religious and I realize that such a friendship is haraam. He's been a very good friend, so how do I stop being friends with him?

Also, I live in an apartment very far away from home. I have roommates whom I trust and respect, but they are not Muslim, nor do they follow the rules of Muslim morality. I have no choice but to live with them, but should I distance myself from them? I like them alot and they're fun to be around/they've helped me through difficult times, so I was wondering if it is haraam to be friends with them. Thank you. :w:
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