masha Allaah its really good you reverted to islam.. this is a really strong sign that Allaah the Most Beneficial loves you, and wants you to be successful in this life, and the afterlife - so you can enter jannah insha Allaah (God willing.)
Loves a really strange thing, and it cant even be explained - its a feeling that involves; joy, sadness, anger, weakness, strength.. the list goes on and on.
How can one word really describe all them emotions?
'Okay' you say to yourself.. i dno how to explain love, but you have to ask yourself; am i really prepared for it? You tell yourself its hit you - but even if it has - are you really prepared to live with it?
Most people, before experiencing it hear/read/see that love is just like a fairy tale, and that once you've fallen into it - you live 'happily ever after.'
But once it hits a person - its shocking because its already affected the person before they've realised it.. Its like a drug; you dont know its consequences because you've never experimented with it before, but once you take it - you want more and more.. when gradually - you cant survive without it. You'll do anything to get it back, even though you know it will keep hurting you.
This usually happens when its a love outside marriage, a haraam love - and it has the effects of a illegal drug/a haraam drug.
Now referring back to what i said before - your 15 now.. Would you really be prepared to live with the guy for the rest of your life? Would you be 100% sure that he wouldn't cheat? How do you know how long your relationship would last for?
Would he be able to give you the same respect/treatment as a muslim husband?
Please read how:
Islam Encourages Love and Equality within Marriage.
I'm just trying to emphasise on the above points because its some things you should think about.. it may even help you think positive insha Allaah, and make it easier for you to fight against satans temptations.
Regarding what he said about islam not allowing love - islam totally prohibits love outside of marriage and having sex outside of marriage is a major sin, and whoever does that without repenting in this life will get double the punishment on the day of judgement.
Those who invoke not, with God, any other god, nor slay such life as God has made sacred except for just cause, nor commit fornication; - and any that does this (not only) meets punishment.
(But) the Penalty on the Day of Judgment will be doubled to him, and he will dwell therein in shame,-
Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for God will change the evil of such persons into good, and God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful
And whoever repents and does good has truly turned to God with an (acceptable) conversion;-
[25:68 - 71]
This is how serious fornification (sex outside of marriage) in islam is, its strictly prohibited and totally haraam, in the qur'an, Allaah Almighty says:
And go not nigh to fornication; surely it is an indecency and an evil way. (17:32)
Allaah Almighty says that dont even go near
adultery, nevermind even doing it, thats how much it is hated in islam.
Theirs alot of reasons why its not allowed in islam, one of the reasons is
because it destroys families, without certainty whos child it may be, it even creates worser crimes such as rape, which can lead to diseases like aids, HIV, etc.
you can read more about that from this link insha Allaah:
to help on that situation; Allaah the Most Merciful says:
"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, that will make for greater purity for them...Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty...O you believers! Turn you all together towards Allah that you may attain success" (24:30,31)
more info to help on that insha Allaah:
Its also really important to hang out with the right crowd - because they influence you on what you do, and what you dont do, so try to make really good, muslimah friends insha Allaah.
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his beloved family) really emphasised on how your friends affect what kind of person you are:
“The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the bellows. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the bellows, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him.”
(Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim, this version being Muslim’s)you can read the explanation of the above hadith from the following link insha Allaah:
so to simplify the hadith (saying of our beloved Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi
waSalam) up; is to say that the people a person hangs out with; affects that person.
the example used is of a musk seller and a furnace blower. so by being with the musk seller, he may give you some musk so you may smell nice and people will like you for that.
whereas if you be with the furnace blower - he may even burn your clothes or you may get a bad smell from him. so you may get hurt while hanging out with the wrong crowd and you may get a bad reputation due to the acts of the bad people you hang around with.
Once you start making more muslimah (female muslims) your friends - you'll realise they'll have a better influence to you insha Allaah, because they will have the same aim as you - to become a better muslim, and will try to commit as less sins insha Allaah.
Even if you cant make alot of mates, maybe because of where you live - its important you stay in a more islamic environment, so maybe even the forum could be that environment insha Allaah. (God willing.)
If you start focusing more on wanting to become a really good muslimah - Allaah the Most Merciful will know your intention - that you do want to do good, and practice islam in your life (because islam is a way of life) and Allaah the Most Beneficial will help you through that insha Allaah.
You probably still feel really guilty because of what has happened in the past, but its really important to remember that Allaah the Most Merciful's forgiveness is so great, greater than you can imagine..
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his beloved family) narrated that Allaah the Most Merciful said:
O son (or daughter) of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son (or daughter) of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son (or daughter) of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.
(Hadith Qudsi - 34)
Now do you see how Merciful our Lord is? you have to remember that as long as you are living, you still have time to ask for forgiveness and to repent, but you also have to keep in mind that you dont know how long your going to live - so make sure you do repent fast and make it sincere so you dont try to commit that sin no more.
After you've asked for this forgiveness sincerely.. our Most Merciful Lord tells us:
...Allaah will change the evil of such persons into good, and God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (25:70)
Now how lucky is that! :eek:
..and Allaah is the Source of All Strength.