Can anyone please give me some knowledge regarding the Arab's customs of marriage at the time of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w)? I mean he married Hazrat Ayesha when she was 9 years old. There are some Muslim sites which try to argue that she was not 9 but 16 or 17 etc when she married the Prophet. But thats not right as I have read an authentic hadith of Sahih Bukhari where she herself says that she was 9 years old at the time of her marriage.
Hadith of Sahih Bukhari:
A father can give his small virgin daughter in marriage:
Narrated by Hazrat Ayesha (r.a), "When my nikah (marriage contract) with Prophet (s.a.w) was written, I was of six years, and when my mother handed me to Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w), at that time I was nine years of age."
(Sahih Bukhari Book 63, Chapter 44: Muslim Book Al-Nikah, Chapter 9)
But you know that the non-Muslims say many pathetic things about our beloved Prophet that he married a child and ... all other crap. This makes me feel bad as I myself think that 9 year girl is just a child.
If the Arabs had some custom of having younger brides than please can anyone explain me this?
Really looking forward to your replies!
May Allah bless you all!
Allahafiz!
Last edited by Masuma; 10-28-2009 at 07:30 PM.
Reason: I am adding the reference of the authentic hadith here.
Do not pay any attention to what the kuffar have to say. Their sole purpose is to tarnish Islam and lead all Muslims astray. They have never studied Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) life or any of his teachings.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
Salam alykum
First, I do not care about the opinion of Non-Muslims about Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Whatever opinion they may have of Prophet (peace be upon him) will be negative since it is a clear threat to their way of life. Second, I do not have problem with any of the Prophet (peace be upon him) marriages he is allowed to marry whom he (peace be upon him) wishes or desires. As for Aisha R.A. being 9 years of age when the Prophet (peace be upon him) married her. I do not see any problem with this either, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) scarified way too much for me to question him. Who am I to question the Prophet (peace be upon him) judgment? If he wished to marry 200 women I still would see no problem in his divine decision. His (peace be upon him) message is clear "There is no God But Allah and Muhammad is his slave and servant" How can people who claim that a man told them he is "Son of God" and brought the truth challenge a man who gave up everything and said he is slave of One true God. There is no religion that can have such greatness as Islam. The reason negative views bother us is not because of the views themselves rather over Eman. We should gain more knowledge and increase our awareness of the Deen. Only an ignorant person would bark back at a dog, an intelligent person would realize there is no point in barking back at the dog. The animal has no common sense to understand the reality. Similarly, people who do not see the message of Islam to be the truth even though the message is clear then it is pointless for us to respond back to them. These people have lost their intellect they can no longer think for themselves, responding to them is like responding to a dog. Study the Seerah of our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) everyone will realize the truth and everything will fall in place. I highly recommend The Sealed Nectar.
In no way is this intended for the sister that posted the question. This is only refereeing to Muslims as mentioned trying to deceive the people and lie about our Deen.
Last edited by AbdullahSyed; 10-22-2009 at 11:37 PM.
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
Imam Ibn kathir (May Allah have mercy on him) narrates a hadith in his Al-Bidayah wa-Nihayah:
"Imam Bukhari (May Allah have mercy on him) narrates another hadith which he heard from Farwa bin abi al-Mughria who heard from 'Ali bin Masher who heard from Hisham bin 'Urawh who heard from his father who reports from 'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her), who said: 'When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was betrowth to me, I was six years old. Later, when we migrated from Makkah to Medina and stayed at bin harith bin khdhrj's place, I had grown up. My hair had got longer and I had physically matured; however, I still used to play with other girls...I was nine years old at that time."
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
format_quote Originally Posted by An33za
Can anyone please give me some knowledge regarding the Arab's customs of marriage at the time of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w)?
It was very normal at that Age in the Arabian desert that girls get married at such age, it has been narrated that at the same day the mother of the prophet married his father another marriage case took place and it was Hala "the cousin of Mohammed Mom" who married Abd Al Mutalib and Hala was in a young age as married a man in her father age", and the list goes on and on
Aisha May Allah be pleased with her was already engaged to Jubair Ibn Al Mut'im Ibn Udai when the prophet proposed to her. Then some reasons leaded that time to cancel her proposal with Jubair and marry the prophet peace be upon him. So it was not the prophet peace be upon him who firstly propose to her.
When the first wife (Khadijah may Allah be pleased with her) of the prophet passed away it was Khawla bint Hakeem who mentioned Aisha to the prophet when she asked him to get married again which means that girls in such age were very known to all people at that time that they are at the age of marriage, otherwise Khawla bint Hakeem wouldn’t mention her at the first place because she know very well when the girl is "ready" for getting married
But thats not right as I have read an authentic hadith of Sahih Bukhari where she herself says that she was 9 years old at the time of her marriage.
yes, she herself said that and she was very proud of that marriage, otherwise she will never narrate every single thing happened to her when she was with the prophet. Some Islam attackers claimed that she was forced to that Marriage, Do you think that a forced woman to marriage will tell people happily how things were happening in her house? Even talking about some details sometimes? I think no
But you know that the non-Muslims say many pathetic things about our beloved Prophet that he married a child and ... all other crap.
They say all kinds of bad and disgusting things about the purest man on the face of earth so you better ignore such ignorance and do your duty in educating them about that topic. Then its up to them to whether accept it or not.
This makes me feel bad as I myself think that 9 year girl is just a child.
Girls in that area of earth got matured earlier than other places and the normal age for puberty at that time was even 8 in many cases!!
You feel bad about it because our culture now is different than the their culture 1400 years. Today's girls think about other things in such age like dolls, schools, TVs.....etc, and have NO idea whatsoever about what is marriage all about and how it is to be responsible for a family.
If the Arabs had some custom of having younger brides than please can anyone explain me this?
My mother told me how her ancestors got married in such a young age and it was something very normal thing that time- she told me that education at that old time was not a big deal "this is only in case there were schools around", Its only in the last 50 years that girls started to prefer Education over early marriage
I hope that help!
Last edited by Danah; 10-24-2009 at 05:49 PM.
Reason: correcting the marriage case that took place at Hala marriage day
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
People in the 50s even in America married oround 15. Maryam(r.a.) was 12 according to Catholic encyclopedia when she bore Isa(a.s.).
Do you know of anybody who has raised a wife? I mean to be the most knowledgeable in the town and healty. No husband has done that instead of Resul,saws. There is a lot that could be said really. I'm sure it's in the links.
At the time of the Prophet,saws, when people would get angry for some reason and when Resul,saws, explained to them his reasons it would make them cry. So sister, things sound in a weird way but when you actually witness them they aren't bad. At the time, children were not as the children of today. They were way bigger. There was only one 9 year old that was developed I saw today. Girls get their menstruation at the age of 8(some).
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
format_quote Originally Posted by AbdullahSyed
First, I do not care about the opinion of Non-Muslims about Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Whatever opinion they may have of Prophet (peace be upon him) will be negative since it is a clear threat to their way of life. Second, I do not have problem with any of the Prophet (peace be upon him) marriages he is allowed to marry whom he (peace be upon him) wishes or desires. As for Aisha R.A. being 9 years of age when the Prophet (peace be upon him) married her. I do not see any problem with this either, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) scarified way too much for me to question him. Who am I to question the Prophet (peace be upon him) judgment? If he wished to marry 200 women I still would see no problem in his divine decision. His (peace be upon him) message is clear "There is no God But Allah and Muhammad is his slave and servant" How can people who claim that a man told them he is "Son of God" and brought the truth challenge a man who gave up everything and said he is slave of One true God. There is no religion that can have such greatness as Islam. The reason negative views bother us is not because of the views themselves rather over Eman. We should gain more knowledge and increase our awareness of the Deen. Only an ignorant person would bark back at a dog, an intelligent person would realize there is no point in barking back at the dog. The animal has no common sense to understand the reality. Similarly, people who do not see the message of Islam to be the truth even though the message is clear then it is pointless for us to respond back to them. These people have lost their intellect they can no longer think for themselves, responding to them is like responding to a dog. Study the Seerah of our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) everyone will realize the truth and everything will fall in place.
Just too perfect dear brother! I approve of all of the things you said above.
Also one thing I want to add is that one must try as hard as possible to know his/her Deen. If the non-Muslims don't understand sth, it is just too normal for them to ask questions about it. Therefore every Muslim should be well trained with the knowledge of how to answer these questions. And of course the non-Muslims I mentioned must be those who really want to understand, and should not be those who are just critics etc.
format_quote Originally Posted by AbdullahSyed
I highly recommend The Sealed Nectar.
What is "The Sealed Nectar"? Some book on the Seerah of our beloved Prophet (s.a.w)?
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
format_quote Originally Posted by Danah
It was very normal at that Age in the Arabian desert that girls get married at such age, it has been narrated that at the same day Aisha married the prophet another marriage case took place and it was Hala "the cousin of Mohammed Mom" who married Abd Al Mutalib and Hala was in a young age as married a man in her father age", and the list goes on and on."
Dear sis, is this narration authentic? I mean, I only take that thing as 100% authentic which is mentioned in Quran and Sahih Hadith. So if these are in some hadith book, then please can you give the reference number and hadith number?
This, if it is an authentic point, is just far more enough to refute all the pathetic allegations of non-Muslims against our beloved Prophet. This point will then be so powerful! But it must be authentic as non-Muslims always demand authenticity. They even say that we'll agree to it even if it is mentioned in your Sahih Books.
format_quote Originally Posted by Danah
I hope that help!
Helped me more than you think! All of your post was simply amazing and helpful!
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
format_quote Originally Posted by Rasema
Do you know of anybody who has raised a wife? I mean to be the most knowledgeable in the town and healty. No husband has done that instead of Resul,saws. There is a lot that could be said really. I'm sure it's in the links.
:awesome: Wonderful point!
Can you please also tell me these things that a 9 year old can have many problems of conceiving and pregnancy. Like, its very risky for a girl that young physically to give birth to a child. So what if people say that Prophet (s.a.w) should have waited till she got stronger physically etc? (I am just trying to understand it fully so that if non-Muslims ask me anything what so ever , I already have my answers prepared.)
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
format_quote Originally Posted by An33za
Just too perfect dear brother! I approve of all of the things you said above.
Also one thing I want to add is that one must try as hard as possible to know his/her Deen. If the non-Muslims don't understand sth, it is just too normal for them to ask questions about it. Therefore every Muslim should be well trained with the knowledge of how to answer these questions. And of course the non-Muslims I mentioned must be those who really want to understand, and should not be those who are just critics etc.
What is "The Sealed Nectar"? Some book on the Seerah of our beloved Prophet (s.a.w)?
I do not disagree with refuting the lies of the enemies. But this is my problem Aisha R.A. loved prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) and he (peace be upon him) loved her R.A. This is a relationship of husband and wife and if someone is more concerned about their relationship then the message of Islam itself. I think these people are just wasting our time.
The Sealed Nectar is a book of Seerah. Its well written and very detailed about every aspect of the Prophet (peace be upon him) life. Also, if you like to listen lectures try Shaykh Anwar Al Awlaki.
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
format_quote Originally Posted by An33za
:awesome: Wonderful point!
Can you please also tell me these things that a 9 year old can have many problems of conceiving and pregnancy. Like, its very risky for a girl that young physically to give birth to a child. So what if people say that Prophet (s.a.w) should have waited till she got stronger physically etc? (I am just trying to understand it fully so that if non-Muslims ask me anything what so ever , I already have my answers prepared.)
The marriage between Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and Aisha R.a. was divine ruling. She came in the dream of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Whatever abilities a normal girl may lack at certain age cannot be the same with the Prophet (peace be upon him) wives. They are not like the other women. And if this answer does not go down the persons throat as the old expression goes "Hell with them".
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
Can you please also tell me these things that a 9 year old can have many problems of conceiving and pregnancy. Like, its very risky for a girl that young physically to give birth to a child. So what if people say that Prophet (s.a.w) should have waited till she got stronger physically etc? (I am just trying to understand it fully so that if non-Muslims ask me anything what so ever , I already have my answers prepared.)
Let me quote my sis *Redeem*
However, your argument that it's damaging to the girl isn't always true, because A'isha was a mentally, emotionally and physically fit young girl who grew up to be a mentally, emotionally and physically fit woman. Anyone who learns about her life will discover that she was never traumatized in her marriage to prophet Muhammad.
Where I'm from and where a majority of the posters are from, it's perfectly normal for any young person, male or female, to be married. This is because our boys and girls mature a lot faster than western children do. By the age of 10, most boys are bringing in money to the family and most girls are looking after the entire household. Different conditions and social values create for different results.
Do I support marriage when there are huge age differences? No. If anything, prophet Muhammad encouraged people to marry those who're in their age group. Nor do I consider it okay for an old man to desire marriage to a young girl for no reason other than her youth. That's disturbing. But if you look at prophet Muhammad's lifestyle, character and even marriage history, you'll realize that he had no preference for young girls, nor did he marry her for any reason beyond forming ties between two households.
A'isha was engaged to another man before prophet Muhammad. That man was a non-Muslim and the engagement was broken. It wasn't unusual for young girls to be married during that period of time. The same was happening all over the world, from Africa to Europe to Asia.
Your aversion to such a marriage is really based on your own societal norms. And those Muslims who do not believe A'isha was young probably have the same upbringing. And when they learn about something they find hard to believe, they reject it outright.
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
format_quote Originally Posted by An33za
Dear sis, is this narration authentic? I mean, I only take that thing as 100% authentic which is mentioned in Quran and Sahih Hadith. So if these are in some hadith book, then please can you give the reference number and hadith number?
sorry sis, I meant at the same day the mother of the prophet married his father, another marriage case of Hala married Abdul-Mutalib......its not the same day of Aisha marriage "because Abdul-Mutalib was already dead that time"......I will edit my previous post, and I will try to look for an authenticated hadeeth.
here is another marriage case you can mention, where Ummar bin Al-Khatab married Umm-Kulthum the daughter of Ali bin Abu-Talib at the year of 17 AH and she was born at the year of 6 AH so she was 11 years old
here:
Umar's Marriage with Umm Kulthum bint Ali
(Allah be well-pleased with them)
Bismillah al-Rahman al-Rahim
The Marriage of `Umar ibn al-Khattab with Umm Kulthum bint `Ali Allah be well-pleased with all of them.
The marriage of `Umar with Umm Kulthum al-Hashimiyya (6-49) the daughter of `Ali and Fatima took place on the year 17 of the Hijra. `Ali gave her away to `Umar upon his request although he was afraid at first that `Umar might not accept her due to her youth and because he wished her to marry one of her cousins among the sons of Ja`far ibn Abi Talib. But `Umar said, ‘Marry her to me for I swear I have toward her more dedication to excellent companionship than any man on the face of the earth.’
`Umar gave her a dowry of 40,000 dirhams in honor of her lineage to the Messenger of Allah, upon him blessings and peace.
THE MARRIAGE OF UMM KULTHUM Umm Kulthum was the second daughter of ‘Ali and Fatimah, and the youngets of their four children. She was born in about the year 6 AH. She became of marriagable age during the khilafah of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab, and the khalifah asked for her hand in marriage. This is recorded by Ibn Sa‘d in his work at-Tabaqat al-Kubra (vol. 8 p. 338, ed. Muhammad ‘Ab al-Qadir ‘Ata, Dar al-Kutub al-‘Ilmiyyah, Beirut 1990) as follows:
I was informed by Anas ibn ‘Iyad al-Laythi, who reports on the authority of Ja‘far ibn Muhammad [as-Sadiq], and he from his father [Muhammad al-Baqir]—
that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab asked ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib for the hand of Umm Kulthum in marriage. ‘Ali said, "I had kept my daughters for the sons of Ja‘far." ‘Umar said, "Marry her to me, O Abul Hasan, for by Allah,there is no man on the face of the earth who seeks to achieve through her good companionship that which I seek to achieve." ‘Ali said, "I have done so."
Then ‘Umar came to the Muhajirun between the grave [of Rasulullah r ] and the pulpit. They—‘Ali, ‘Uthman, Zubayr, Talhah and ‘Abd ar-Rahman—used to sit there, and whenever a matter used to arrive from the frontiers, ‘Umar used to come to them there and consult with them. He came to them and said, "Congratulate me." They congratulated him, and asked, "With whom are we congratulating you, O Amir al-Mu’minin?" He replied, "With the daughter of ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib."
Then he related to them that the Nabi r said, "Every tie of kinship, and every association will be cut off on the Day of Qiyamah, except my kinship and my association." [‘Umar said,] "I have had the companionship of Rasulullah r ; I would like also to have this [kinship]."
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
Yes be ashamed my dear, goes to show you have a concscience...
It’s funny how your conscience works. For example, your friend could say to you, “Maybe you should go to the gym.” The next thing you do is say, “Why are you calling me fat?”
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
format_quote Originally Posted by Rasema
It’s funny how your conscience works. For example, your friend could say to you, “Maybe you should go to the gym.” The next thing you do is say, “Why are you calling me fat?”
Read some books before joining an Islamic forum!
Ignore the troll. Apparently he cannot read.
EDIT: Make that she lol.
Last edited by GuestFellow; 10-25-2009 at 02:50 AM.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
re: Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help
format_quote Originally Posted by An33za
Can anyone please give me some knowledge regarding the Arab's customs of marriage at the time of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w)? I mean he married Hazrat Ayesha when she was 9 years old. There are some Muslim sites which try to argue that she was not 9 but 16 or 17 etc when she married the Prophet. But that's not right as I have read an authentic hadith of Sahih Bukhari where she herself says that she was 9 years old at the time of her marriage.
Yes, you are correct that this is in the Sahih Bukhari. I find it pitiful that some "Muslims" today are trying to nudge up Aisha's age to in order to conform to the standards of what new age American and British culture approves of. Such Muslims who try to do this are being disgracefully dishonest, and we can know too well that the only reason they are trying to fool us all is because they are complete sycophants to America and Britain. The motivation is patently OBVIOUS. The bigotry and negative thinking towards early marriage is something born out of a newly founded morality which was instigated by the West. This newly found morality is NOT part of some kind of internalized "progression" in Asian/Islamic culture, but rather it is a mentality completely invented and promoted independently by the West, just as things like homosexuality and fornication is now promoted by the disturbed West. I am completely baffled by the West's complete hypocrisy because on one hand they have invented a newly founded morality against the divine and wholesome practice of early marriage while on the other hand they have also invented another newly founded morality that promotes old men going to bed with each other. The West is on a crusade to promulgate these grotesque new ideas and thrust them on extraneous cultures. The West has also been on an intentional agenda to dumb down their own children, that's why their 9 year olds act more like 2 year olds, it's quite pathetic really.
DON'T allow the infidels the satisfaction of seeing us of ever sycophantically buckling in to these newly founded mentalities! Because if you DO, then they have won and you have lost.
format_quote Originally Posted by An33za
But you know that the non-Muslims say many pathetic things about our beloved Prophet that he married a child and ... all other crap.
But SO WHAT if our beloved prophet married a child? SO WHAT? WHY would you allow yourself to feel "bad" about this?? Just because the infidels don't like child marriages, why then the sense of obligation to blindly jump on their ridiculous band wagon? They have completely separate moralities to us and we should not let that bother us. Why do we need to think in exactly the same way as non Muslims for? Why is that so important?? Child marriage is allowed under Islam, and that's all that is important here. Don't let the kafir play guilt games on your mind. The moment you allow yourself to feel "bad" is the moment the infidels have won over you.
Remember that the very same infidels who make attacks on child marriage also promote things like adultery and homosexuality...so are you also going to feel "bad' just because the infidels play guilt trip games on you if you do not also want to jump on their band wagon in promoting adultery as well?? NO, you WON'T if you are a good Muslim with strong mind and sound judgment. Never allow the infidels to grind you down, for that is exactly what they are trying to do. Instead what you need to do is have nothing to do with them. They are the Djinn with the forked tongues of snakes and they are trying to play with your mind and steer you in wrong paths. Whenever you do need to rebut them, be most careful that you do it in such a way that does not give any credence to the very mentality itself behind their attack. For example, if an infidel makes attack on Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) for his marriage with Aisha, and a foolish Muslim answers back by saying something like "but Muhammed (PBUH) didn't marry Aisha when she was 6, she was 35 instead blah blah blah", this very kind of pathetic defense only acknowledges a validity to the very moral basis of the infidels' attack. It's like if an infidel attacked the prophet for eating tomatoes. Now a very weak minded Muslim might say something like "but prophet didn't eat tomatoes, he ate plums instead". That kind of defense only acknowledges that eating tomatoes is bad in the first place. See what I mean? A good Muslim of strong constitution will instead rebut the infidel attacks against Muhammed (PBUH) by saying that "You yourselves in the West might have newly invented this to be a "problem", but nonetheless, YOU are NOT us! One size does not fit all. Ok our morality and ways of thinking might not suit you, but neither does your morality and ways of thinking suit us. We are not the same, so therefore your new morality means nothing to us. Ultimately it is simply not a "problem" under Islam and it is accepted under Islam. END OF STORY."
format_quote Originally Posted by An33za
This makes me feel bad as I myself think that 9 year girl is just a child.
Well that completely depends on the race of human you are talking about. My own sisters were certainly not "children" at the age of 9, they were adolescent youth not all that far away to being fully grown. But my question is again: SO WHAT even if they ARE "children"? Why does everyone need to think of marriage and its sexual context only in visions of bestial violent thrusting commonly perceived as part of the process of reproduction itself? The love life of a married couple is far more exploratory and imaginative than that! Just because a husband may go to bed with his child bride does NOT automatically mean that they will try and actually reproduce. Besides, this will usually not be the case anyway because it is a sheer scientific impossibility for the prepubescent girl to be able to bare young. However, there is the exploratory, erotic, experimental and sensual sides of love making that is absent of actual coitus, and this is an indulgence that a husband and his child bride are able to enjoy without the need for the unrealistic burden of actual reproduction itself at a too young age. Unlike the prudish attitudes towards sexual matters of the Judeo-Christian faiths, Islam is open minded and positive towards sex and erotic love making between husband and wife. Age per se is irrelevant under Islam and is NOT a prerequisite to sexual relations; rather, it is MARRIAGE itself that renders sexual relations halal.
format_quote Originally Posted by An33za
If the Arabs had some custom of having younger brides than please can anyone explain me this?
At the end of the day it's "to each their own" with something like this. It's a very private matter and should never be a political or "social" issue . But to try and help answer your question...many people have varying reasons. There are many good reasons for a preference for prepubescent brides. First, they are purest virgins. It also is a way in which husband and bride can book each other at an early stage. It's also a plain fact that many men have an appreciation for and have the opportunity to enjoy certain qualities in their wife that will be short lived. If one is honest with themselves they will know obviously well that a prepubescent girl glows with the magical beauty of youth itself, as given by Allah, her skin is so perfect, her eyes are so sharp, she has a kind of beauty that is very short lived. She is so pristine in every physical way. Why wouldn't any normal heterosexual man admire these divine qualities?
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