I am making this thread cuz I really feel like I am evil, and no I am not attention seeking.
Firstly let me give a bit of background:
Before I was a practicing Muslim, I was a calm shy person with decent manners. I was patient, but I could become annoyed easily. Allah SWT saved me from various sins, and showered me with mercy. I started praying and becoming pracitcing, not knowing much of Islam, but only that it enjoins good and forbids evil.
So before practicing Islam, there was this kafir who always bullied / mocked me. I got angry once and hit him once, I hit my one of my relatives. It made me guilty, and I cried, I cry very easily sometimes.
So now when I practiced Islam I always thought good etc. And then, Allah SWT tested me once again with this kafir, and I didn't hurt him, I was very patient etc. and he continued, so I called my teacher and told her how it was, etc. So we established a meeting where she reprimanded this kafir (she is herself a kafir) but she was kind, etc. So I thought, he did much wrong to me, he hit me, and stuff. So I thought of what The Prophet SAW would do, without knowing much except that he SAW was moral.
So I thought " I know this is hard, I hate what he did, but I'll choose to forgive him" as to follow the Prophet Muhammad SAW's example.
I could demand justice, but rather I forgave, I became guilty of all the bad I've done, etc. and repented to Allah SWT. Without demanding anything from anyone for the hurt they've done to me.
So it went good, and I thought to not hate others, it never passed my mind to do so, as Allah SWT knows best their state, etc.
Now, 1 year ahead, and I learnt more about Islam, I felt myself becoming more regular with prayers. But one thing seemed to happen.. my good character seemed to fade, the more knowledge I got, the more confused I became, I began to doubt myself, Islam, etc.
I read the Quran and I liked it.. And then I chatted with someone and they told me a harsh Islam, etc. I couldn't take this harsh harsh Islam, so I ignored the thoughts, but they built, and I tried to stay good, but the doubts came.
And then the verses stuck with me, the verses that makes me feel harsh, rude, and stuff like that. I began to dislike my character.
So I did a self-analysis on myself and asked myself "would you convert to Islam if serinity did dawah to you?" the reply was "no". and this is confirmed by my brother who says:
"you do not represent Islam very well, looking at you, I wouldn't even want to start."
So I thought "why do people even come to Islam, what attracts them? What attracted me?" the reply was "good character".
So what do I do wrong?? I know, I am harsh, rude, self-righteous, bigoted, hateful, etc. I knew I was wrong.. But The ayats kept me from becoming good, although I knew that The Quran says the Prophet Muhammad SAW is the best of creation with high esteemed character.
I know Islam says to repel evil with good, and I did, but then verses came, and I indulged myself in issues of Jihad, Al wala wal bara..
And I started to think "does becoming righteous mean becoming isolated, hateful, and unapproachable?" I know I was wrong.. But I couldn't get these thoughts out of my head..
So I started to think "I rather be moral, and be a sinner, than be righteous and harsh." It hurt me, to think like this, but no matter what, the verses kept coming to me, although there are verses speaking of good and to be good, so I thought it is out of context..
So I started to be good again, but whenever I tried to intent good, the verses came to me, and it made me guilty, and I felt imprisoned..
I feel self-righteous, bigoted, hateful, imprisoned etc. I kept saying "I know I am interpreting Islam wrong, for how come people find it beautiful and not me?!"
I couldn't see the mercy, peace, and serenity in Islam anymore. But I know Allah SWT is Merciful, The source of all Peace, etc. But something made me think Islam is a cult-like religion. Be harsh to kuffar, be merciful to the muslims..
But I know I am wrong, cause this is all out of context..
So I ask, what do I do? How do I escape this cycle of trying to become good, but being smashed down because of this? It pains me.
This is painful, and I know I am getting something wrong - but I can't seem to puzzle this together.
I try to be wise and moral, and use my logic, but whenever I do, The ayats come and I get stuck! I thought of blaming Islam - But I know this is wrong.
So I blamed myself - but this feels like cutting and stabbing my own heart.
I really don't want to give up, so how do I puzzle this together? I want to love Allah SWT, but something is preventing me from loving Him SWT more than I do now.
Brother your not evil, trying your best to be on the right path MashAllah. Youv made many improvements..Islam is all about peace..
I think your not receiving the right advice and answers regarding Islam, your not getting information from best of people. Read Quran and Hadith, and when you don't understand something then ask the scholars..Islam doesn't teach hate and you know it..you should try your best and be at best behaviour when around people Muslims and non Muslim..if Islam was about hating the kafirs then there won't be no kafirs left we all would be killing them..but it's not like that..so don't think Islam is the reason for your hatred towards kafirs..
Version of Islam?? There's only one version of Islam brother and that's all about peace. Don't follow what people say, follow the Quran..your still young and learning don't overthink..all you should know is Islam does not teach hate and if people tell you otherwise then ask for proof and when they provide it make sure Youv read whole ayah to understand the meaning.
Lets say your talking to someone and they say Islam says we must hate kafirs and kill them..you ask for proof and they just make you read the bit where it says "kill them" you won't go hating and killing people would u? Obviously no..so reading and understanding the ayah is must.
Brother your not evil, trying your best to be on the right path MashAllah. Youv made many improvements..Islam is all about peace..
I think your not receiving the right advice and answers regarding Islam, your not getting information from best of people. Read Quran and Hadith, and when you don't understand something then ask the scholars..Islam doesn't teach hate and you know it..you should try your best and be at best behaviour when around people Muslims and non Muslim..if Islam was about hating the kafirs then there won't be no kafirs left we all would be killing them..but it's not like that..so don't think Islam is the reason for your hatred towards kafirs..
Version of Islam?? There's only one version of Islam brother and that's all about peace. Don't follow what people say, follow the Quran..your still young and learning don't overthink..all you should know is Islam does not teach hate and if people tell you otherwise then ask for proof and when they provide it make sure Youv read whole ayah to understand the meaning.
Lets say your talking to someone and they say Islam says we must hate kafirs and kill them..you ask for proof and they just make you read the bit where it says "kill them" you won't go hating and killing people would u? Obviously no..so reading and understanding the ayah is must.
May Allah swt help you. Ameen.
Thanks sis, one question, I have known some kuffar, their lifestyle is unislamic, but I don't hate them for that, why? cause they don't know. Why would I hate someone for doing something, they don't think is wrong?
I hate the unislamic lifestyle, but I don't turn to the person and hate..
What if Allah SWT hated us for committing a sin we don't know?
Secondly there is a verse saying you can not show affection to those who oppose Allah SWT, and take you out of your homes, etc. my assumption is that those people are those who do war with Allah SWT?
I mean, I may hate the kufr of a kafir, but I may like their character - and if you like their character you like a part of them -thus you like them, but that doesn't mean I like their kufr. I hate it. But why should I hate the kafir for their kufr? Unless their kufr turns them to do war with Allah SWT and cause chaos.
If I was to work in an environment with kafirs, I can't have this harshness in my heart, or hate for people. Can I work with kafirs, and like their character - in effect liking them - but hate their kufr.
It is like this you may hate something about the person, but his character may be good. It'd be unreasonable to be rude to a nice kafir, which in turn will turn him against Islam.
So, this is what puzzles me, Muslim men can marry a kafir amongst the people of the Book. you have to hate their kufr, but in the marriage, is one prohibited from loving that kafir as a person?
In terms of working with kuffar, I can't work with a harsh heart. And I know this is not Islam. How can a heart filled with the love of Allah SWT and The Prophet Muhammad SAW, have room for hatred and exhausting judgmentality?
btw, a kafir may turn muslim and we may turn kafir at death. so we should never judge and make them seem lowly. Cause they are not, they are not animals, they are honored children of Adam AS......
Sorry for the ramble. I will follow your advice, and see Islam in a more positive light. Islam is all about spreading peace. Right?
ok, we shouldn't hate the kuffar personally. Nor do we have the right to hate, kill, or defame people for what they believe, yeah?
we are all children of Adam AS, and if we become harsh and ruthless, we are just helping shaytaan in deviating mankind, right?
Right. You can be the positive influence in someone's life that leads them to Islam. You can't do that if you have hatred in your heart. We should want guidance for everyone just like we ask Allah to guide us. There's 2 ways to look at it, either we wish the worst on someone, hate them, treat them badly, and because of it they move far away from Islam and die as kaafirs, or we treat them with kindness and teach them about our peaceful way of life and they become our brothers in Islam and better servants to Allah. Which do you think is better? Even if a kaafir wanted to do harm to you, you have the right to fight back and protect yourself, but only in defense. You never attack anyone who has not physically attacked you, and even then you can control your anger and be patient in hopes that Allah softens their heart. We will always live with people who have a different belief system than us, and that's ok. We have to only focus on our own iman first, and then helping our family and friends, and so on..but it always begins with ourselves.
I understand all this, and it makes sense and I agree with you, Charisma.
I have honestly been brainwashed with this harsh Islam. And I don't think that is what true Islam is. Cause harshness is NOT what brought me to Islam, so what makes me think that being harsh towards them, makes them turn to us?
JazakAllah khayr sister. I understand, I am not deaf. I probably tried to inter or extrapolate a view that is contrary to Islam, that is why perhaps there is soo much chaos inside of me. 2 conflicting views of Islam, the original I had, made me love Islam, etc. The second, makes me feel miserable.
And Allah SWT doesn't want misery for me. So I go with my original Islam.. The Islam Allah SWT showed me, not the people. I choose the Islam that gives me energy, and grants me hope, that which makes sense.
when I was 7 years old I read the Quran, and I loved it. I should try that again..
I don't like extremism, and full on Bara, it is unlivable, and anything in its extreme will destroy me. As The Prophet SAW said, do not go to extremes, as you won't be able to cope with it for too long. (a hadith)
When I was much younger, there was a brother who inquired about Islam (he was nonMuslim at the time). I was also still learning about Islam because I was very young and so intrigued with it. He'd always ask me questions and I'd always answer them as much as I could. I wasn't harsh or mean to him, but rather I was patient and treated him with kindness because that's just how I was you know? One day we were talking about brotherhood, and I think he loved the concept of being a part of an Ummah that looks out for each other and stuff, so he took his shahada. I was so happy I cried! He said that he was so happy to now consider me a sister, and it was really beautiful to hear him say that. He also thought about his parents and said that because Islam holds parents in such high regard that he plans on taking care of them himself when they reach old age. He was taught that parents are put in a "home" where they are taken care of by others and neglected.
Sometimes these moments don't happen often enough because the world is rapidly changing, but you have no idea how many people in this world are lost and just hoping to find guidance. They may have never heard about Islam, so we have to be wary of how we represent Islam because sometimes our actions and our words are the only exposure they get, and we want that experience to be positive, no?
format_quote Originally Posted by Serinity
What if Allah SWT hated us for committing a sin we don't know?
If you do something that you didn't know about, then Allah excuses you for it! He's the Most merciful! Even if you commit a sin you do know about Allah will forgive you if you repent. Don't ever doubt Allah's mercy. May Allah guide us all ameen.
You know all the real answers to the questions you are asking deep down inside. You don't have any reason to hate anyone right now. You're not in war, you're not in a state of oppression, there's nothing harming you brother. So be at peace with yourself inshallah. If it helps read the tafsir of the Quran it will make a lot of the ayahs clear, and finish the entirety of the Quran so you can get a better understanding.
When I was much younger, there was a brother who inquired about Islam (he was nonMuslim at the time). I was also still learning about Islam because I was very young and so intrigued with it. He'd always ask me questions and I'd always answer them as much as I could. I wasn't harsh or mean to him, but rather I was patient and treated him with kindness because that's just how I was you know? One day we were talking about brotherhood, and I think he loved the concept of being a part of an Ummah that looks out for each other and stuff, so he took his shahada. I was so happy I cried! He said that he was so happy to now consider me a sister, and it was really beautiful to hear him say that. He also thought about his parents and said that because Islam holds parents in such high regard that he plans on taking care of them himself when they reach old age. He was taught that parents are put in a "home" where they are taken care of by others and neglected.
Sometimes these moments don't happen often enough because the world is rapidly changing, but you have no idea how many people in this world are lost and just hoping to find guidance. They may have never heard about Islam, so we have to be wary of how we represent Islam because sometimes our actions and our words are the only exposure they get, and we want that experience to be positive, no?
If you do something that you didn't know about, then Allah excuses you for it! He's the Most merciful! Even if you commit a sin you do know about Allah will forgive you if you repent. Don't ever doubt Allah's mercy. May Allah guide us all ameen.
You know all the real answers to the questions you are asking deep down inside. You don't have any reason to hate anyone right now. You're not in war, you're not in a state of oppression, there's nothing harming you brother. So be at peace with yourself inshallah. If it helps read the tafsir of the Quran it will make a lot of the ayahs clear, and finish the entirety of the Quran so you can get a better understanding.
I understand now! THANKS.
I will from now on stop being in isolation and show my character. Show kindness and love (is that permissible?)
IF they ask:
Does Islam allow killing of kafirs?
I say: Islam doesn't allow killings of innocent, be they muslim or kafir.. (Many questions about killings lol)
Anyways, Alhamdulillah, that story really opened my eyes!
It is ok to show compassion and mercy to kafir and love them as a human? (I hate their kufr obv)
I feel more motivated now in being good. I feel if we become harsh and stuff, we are falling into the traps of the enemies yeah? (a verse popped up being harsh about kafirs, but I assume it doesn't apply here.)
Yes of course you have to show kindness and compassion. Mashallah I can tell you are someone filled with love and there is nothing wrong with sharing that and being kind with others, as long as they are not harming or hurting you in anyway. We should only stay away from the disbelievers that will influence us badly. For example, you don't want to be around someone who drinks constantly and tries to pressure you into drinking right? If we cannot help them, then we stay away from someone like that and go our separate ways. We do not harm them. And it's so natural to hate kufr because we don't want to see anyone misguided and worshipping anything other than Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, but this is life right? And it's ok.
Allah doesn't allow the killing of anyone unless you are in a state of clear war. Even in war there are rules in Islam subhanallah. Muslims aren't allowed to kill children, women, or civilians. We only fight those who are fighting us in the state of war. But alhemdulilah we are not in a state of war
we obv hate kufr, but this should NOT turn us into hating them, we should feel sorry for them and want them outside of that.
I know this is a random question: But is it Islamically OK for me to love a kafir for their manners? Good manners? I hate their kufr, and I honestly feel sorry and not hateful for their state. I don't see how hating kuffar for their kufr will rid them of kufr, tbh.
I think I am confusing love with compassion and feeling sorry. I don't think it is haram to feel sorry, show compassion, understanding and kindness. Like I feel sorry for a kafir with good manners to go astray. I always like to seek out the good in people, rather than seek out the bad.
I always envisioned myself in war fighting for Islam and not wanting blodshed but wanted to purify myself and wanted Islam for my enemies.
I read about the Prophet SAW and it gave me this idea that at war, do not let the hatred of the kuffar drive you to transgression. Wish for them what you wish for yourself. Of course at war you can't be soft.
The Prophet SAW only wanted Islam for people. And I have not read where The Prophet SAW intentionally attacked a person outside of war. Such kindness.. Please correct me if I am wrong..
The prophet pbuh had a mission to guide people and He never attacked anyone without purpose. He was the kindest person and even his enemies trusted him because of how honest he was subhanallah.
I met this lady once who was soo sweet and the way she told me stories and talked to me about how she helps kids, I had assumed she was a Muslimah, so I asked her "how long have you been Muslim for??" She was like no honey I'm not Muslim (I think she was Christian or Catholic I can't remember) But she had such good manners. I hope that she became a Muslimah, she was married to a Muslim Arab. If someone is well-mannered and we like to be around them I think that's a reflection on us as well, that we either hope to be like them or want to associate ourselves with people who have good character. I love being around people who have good manners and character whether they are Muslim or not, and you shouldn't feel bad about liking someone because of them treating you kindly, but rather we should be thankful and be kind in return.
I think you are a great person mashallah. You just need to have people who are like-minded and will remind you of the beautiful things in Islam. Even if you have no one like that, it is better to be alone and studying the correct Islam, than to be friends with someone who wants to lead you astray and have you hating everyone around you. That would be such a miserable life to live.
You can befriend them, but you can't be soooo close to them that they have negative influence over you. Like for example, sometimes nonMuslims don't have the same respect for their own parents as we do for our parents, or they don't regard them in such a high status. So say one day you're complaining about your mom because she took away your games or whatever, and you confided in your friend and ranted to him, but instead of your friend giving you sound advice and telling you to forgive your mom etc, he says something like "Wow your mom has problems, at least when you're 18 you can move out and not have to worry about her," making you feel resentful towards your mom because that's the way he'd treat his own mom. So there's a difference when it comes to culture, religion, and things like that, so we can be kind to them, befriend them, etc, but we always have to be aware that during our darkest moments we should have a TRUE, WISE friend who can take us out of it and help guide us back to Allah, and sometime a nonMuslim wouldn't really know what to do or how to help you in the way you really need to be helped Islamically. There are some nonMuslims who can be helpful and even remind us of our Islamic duties, but it's soo rare to find someone like that and it's better even then to just treat them kindly but not be too close to them incase they make a mistake in advising us.
Last edited by *charisma*; 05-27-2016 at 09:57 PM.
Yes that is too extreme, and Allah knows best. I think you have good judgement mashallah, don't be afraid to use it.
Hopefully you feel better now and I don't want to hear more about this extremism stuff ok? You're wayyy better than that! Allah gave you hidayah mashallah, so in your heart you felt so conflicted about all the wrong things you were told, and maybe that was Allah's way of bringing you back to the right path. Because imagine if you had felt comfortable with those thoughts and continued on with life subhanallah. May Allah guide us all ameen. Always say alhemdulilah bro and keep asking Allah for hidayah. It's so easy to fall off the wrong path when we let the wrong people get into our heads
Yes that is too extreme, and Allah knows best. I think you have good judgement mashallah, don't be afraid to use it.
Hopefully you feel better now and I don't want to hear more about this extremism stuff ok? You're wayyy better than that! Allah gave you hidayah mashallah, so in your heart you felt so conflicted about all the wrong things you were told, and maybe that was Allah's way of bringing you back to the right path. Because imagine if you had felt comfortable with those thoughts and continued on with life subhanallah. May Allah guide us all ameen. Always say alhemdulilah bro and keep asking Allah for hidayah. It's so easy to fall off the wrong path when we let the wrong people get into our heads
I was just reading the whole thread and had to smile alhamdulilah.
Im also for no more of the extremism talks from you serenity bro LOL , i remember having a lengthy convo just about jihad, which alhamdulilah he took on board very good and started to understand, maybe i didnt explain it in the best of ways but all your explanations where very on point MashAllah, may brother serenity and others benifit from it if they had any doubts on these matters, which seems to be a problem for quite a few people more recently,
I was also told of how certains brothers refused to give dawah, answer questions or explain islam untill the person took their shahada, i honestly was flabbergasted and felt so sad as to the state of some muslims these days SubhanAllah
Narrated Jubair ibn Mut’im: The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W), said: "He is not one us who calls for `Asabiyah, (nationalism/tribalism) or who fights for `Asabiyah or who dies for `Asabiyah." [Sunan Abu Dawud (Vol. 2, pg. 753) No. 5121]
Don't worry brothers and sisters. I find the doubts I have baseless. I see no proof to hate kuffar and it is exhausting and not in my character. It clouds fair judgment etc. Not good lol.
I'll just be that happy muslim I was once! With a positive attitude towards Islam - seeing it as peaceful.
Don't worry brothers and sisters. I find the doubts I have baseless. I see no proof to hate kuffar and it is exhausting and not in my character. It clouds fair judgment etc. Not good lol.
I'll just be that happy muslim I was once! With a positive attitude towards Islam - seeing it as peaceful.
Heres some lectures that could help be of help in sha Allah
Keep steadfast brother, the fact your asking for help and have those doubts that shadow the goodness shows your on the right path alhamdulilah
Narrated Jubair ibn Mut’im: The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W), said: "He is not one us who calls for `Asabiyah, (nationalism/tribalism) or who fights for `Asabiyah or who dies for `Asabiyah." [Sunan Abu Dawud (Vol. 2, pg. 753) No. 5121]
Now I just want to follow my logic, my brain, but then this reminds me:
Those who follow anything other than the Quran, or prefers to follow anything over The Quran, is a kafir.
So what do I do? I want to use my brain!
I have this anger and hate because from twhat I see now, that is what Islam wants from me - to hate kuffar.
I feel enslaved to this harsh Islam. I just want to be that guy I was. I can do it, I can become like I was 1 year ago. But this feeling.. It feels like betraying Allah SWT.
I will just reset my memory and knowledge and start from 1 year ago. Tho it feels like betraying Allah SWT. But I hope HE Swt will forgive me.
In my humble opinion; you need to step back...when your anger comes. Recognize it. Find the source. It is not Islam friend. Islam speaks of mercy ultimately in all situations. This refers to self as well. You may know fragments of your own direction that bring this anger or hatred up. You are deceiving yourself somehow or not making a change you know you are to make.
It is okay...be patient...study in solitude with humility, even towards yourself. The emotion of anger, though perhaps towards others, is an indicator that you yourself are off somewhere. Do you hold shame? Regret? Know that your knowledge of these things is first. Your building anger becoming intolerable could very well be you needing a real change. Not only must we catch our flaws, but we must find peace too. How else is this done but through knowing change?
Your peace towards others will come regardless of there actions, when you find your own peace, through introspection and honesty and hope in GOD.
Have faith and hope, patience and perseverance.
Relinquish pride and personal want from all thought processes.
Just an opinion and admittedly an assuming one. I am sorry and mean no malice. I can relate in ways is all.
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subhanallah. May Allah guide us all ameen. Always say alhemdulilah bro and keep asking Allah for hidayah. It's so easy to fall off the wrong path when we let the wrong people get into our heads 
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