After having a recent setback or reality check, I have turned to Allah even more so than what I should have been. I have now doing 5xSalah, asking for forgiveness/repentance in the bad things I may have done over the years but especially with what has happened recently.
I also did Ramadan Alhumdulilah this year, and has been a while since I have done so (but have given my Sadqah/Zakat)
I have been watching ALOT of Nouman Ali Khan and Mufti Menk talks, lectures etc... and absolutely LOVE them. May Allah grant them both good things in this life and in the hereafter, Ameen.
Not only am I learning so much but also at times it makes me realize a lot of things too.
I fear that I have done the wrong for many years that even asking for forgiveness is meaningless. For instance not even making Salah for many years has me pretty upset in addition to the recent pain/suffering I have suffered. I know that was a punishment from Allah but I just don't know what to think or do anymore.
In Ramadan, I learnt to do even the most simplest of things and still do it to this day, for instance: reading 100x Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar which has many benefits.
I don't know what to think or do. I hope Allah forgives but at the same time, I feel like I have done so bad over the years that... I'm a lost cause. Of course, I want to save myself from Hell fire too. I do read 1 or 2 duas to help with this but again, I don't know if this helps or not. Only Allah SWT knows best.
Is there anything that I can try to do to help ease the fear or pain? Anything to... make me feel better?
I admit, I feel at ease when I am doing the Salah and calms me down when I am anxious in anything but I still fear that in the hereafter... the day of judgement.... that I am a lost cause.
"Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."
He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him [59:23]
Reading your post gives me the impression that you are a full grown adult. It is always a great blessing to realise the error of our ways. It is even more commendable that steps are taken to mend it.
Do lots of sunah prayers.. and keep seeking forgiveness..
Thank you. Yes, I am an adult. I have indeed read the passage but I am still very scared and fearful. I don't want to be discarded or go into Hellfire (like everybody else).
You just need to trust Allah. If it´s said in the Quran that He can forgives your sins if you repent, then just try to trust His words. We all are sinners, we all might have awful sins in our past but we just need to put our trust to Allah.
Read the Quran, study more and then you can better understand the message what is called Islam. Make dua that Allah opens your heart to find all that mercy and forgiveness from Islam.
You just need to trust Allah. If it´s said in the Quran that He can forgives your sins if you repent, then just try to trust His words. We all are sinners, we all might have awful sins in our past but we just need to put our trust to Allah.
Read the Quran, study more and then you can better understand the message what is called Islam. Make dua that Allah opens your heart to find all that mercy and forgiveness from Islam.
Maybe for the first thing, you need to forgive your past self to let your burden down. I've been there. You're doing more than fine. Good job for fulfilling your five daily prayers. Also, maybe you can try to do shalah because you love Allah, not because you fear of Allah. I hope this will help you out.
Take it from someone who stopped praying for three years. I was an agnostic hypocrite. I had a reality check in my life and I can happily say that I almost recovered my faith back. God knows you will fall short of His glory but he still gave you another chance. So smile and rest assured He will not let you down.
Search for a deeper meaning of 39:53 (Surah Az-Zumar, aiayah 53) posted by Aaqib.
"Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."
Why would Allah lie to you when he said, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. If you have given up hope, then you have given up trusting in Allah.
If you can learn to forgive the people who have hurt you, then you will come to understand how Allah can forgive you.
In the spirit of praying for help to do the will of Allah.
May Allah give hidayah to you EricH.
@firehawk
has been a member nearing 10 years. Still a limited member (due to limited posts.
Hope you are ok. That your imaan has grown stronger still. Istighfar a lot too. (I forgot to mention).
Also, yes I read in the OP that you had started the prayers. I meant the sunnah prayers differently.
I once came across this knowledge, don't have the source, (I would be pleased if anyone could verify?) and it goes something like this...
...and when it's time to account for the 5 daily prayers and there are many gaps in there, missed prayers... Allah will ask if the sunnah prayers are enough to 'replace' the missed ones.
Allah alem.
As long as my heart does beat, I shall live, not lie
For when my heart does stop its beat, with truth, I die.
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