Myth: In Islam, women are inferior to men because:
- A man can marry up to 4 wives, a woman can marry only one man
- A man's share of inheritance is bigger than a woman's
- A man can marry a non-Muslim, a woman cannot
- Women must wear the veil
This widely held misconception does not remotely follow from the reasons given. The first and most important observation to make about the popular question "Are men and women equal?" is that it is a badly-formed, unanswerable question. The problem which many people conveniently ignore is that "equal" is not defined. This is a very critical point: the equality must be specified with respect to some measurable property. For example, women on average are superior to men if we ask who is shorter in height than the other ("Growth and Development", Encyclopedia Britannica, 1992). Women are also superior on average if we ask whom do children bond to deeper, mothers or fathers. Women are also superior on average if we ask who has a tendency to socialize more. On the other hand, men are superior on average if we ask who is taller in height than the other. And so on: every question can be turned around, and more importantly these are properties which are irrelevant.
What then, is the really important property which we are worried about in terms of gender equality? Naturally, from the point of view of the Qur'an and Sunnah, the obvious important property is who is dearer to Allah, men or women? This question is emphatically answered in the Qur'an (translation),
"If any do deeds of righteousness - be they male or female - and have faith, they will enter Paradise, and not the least injustice will be done to them."[4:124]
For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for truthful men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.[33:35]
The Qur'an and Sunnah repeat over and over again that Allah only favors one person over another based on that person's awareness, consciousness, fear, love, and hope of Allah ([i.e. Taqwa: Piety] ). All other criteria are excluded: gender, ethnic group, country, ancestry, etc.
Given that Allah does not favor one gender over the other in His attention to us, we can now address the differences between the genders in Islam. First, men and women are not the same as we know. The Creator states in the Qur'an (translation),
"...and the male is not like the female..."[3:36]
Men and women are different in their composition, and in their responsibilities under Islam. However, both are bound by obligations to one another, especially the following important one which must be understood in any discussion on men and women. From the Qur'an (translation),
"And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing."[24:32]
In this verse, the Creator emphasizes that marriage is to be vigorously pursued by the Muslims: the state of being single is not to be maintained. With this in mind, we can begin to understand the four reasons cited above for the nonetheless erroneous conclusion.
Men and women are different in their responsibilities towards the families that they are strongly encouraged to set up. Women are not obligated to work, whereas men are obligated. The man must provide for the family, but the woman does not have to spend out of her money for it, though she gets a reward for doing so. Allah says in the Qur'an (translation),
"Men are in charge of women, because Allah has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guarding in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.)... , As to those women on whose part you see ill¬ conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful). , but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great. (An-Nisa 4:34)."[4:34]
From the Sunnah, specifically in the study of the Sunnah called Sahih Bukhari, we find:
Narrated `Amr bin Al-Harith: Zainab, the wife of `Abdullah said, "I was in the Mosque and saw the Prophet (peace be upon him) saying, `O women ! Give alms even from your ornaments.' "Zainab used to provide for `Abdullah and those orphans who were under her protection. So she said to `Abdullah, "Will you ask Allah's Apostle whether it will be sufficient for me to spend part of the Zakat on you and the orphans who are under my protection?" He replied "Will you yourself ask Allah's Apostle?" (Zainab added): So I went to the Prophet and I saw there an Ansari woman who was standing at the door (of the Prophet) with a similar problem as mine. Bilal passed by us and we asked him, `Ask the Prophet whether it is permissible for me to spend (the Zakat) on my husband and the orphans under my protection.' And we requested Bilal not to inform the Prophet about us. So Bilal went inside and asked the Prophet regarding our problem. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked, "Who are those two?" Bilal replied that she was Zainab. The Prophet said, "Which Zainab?" Bilal said, "The wife of `Adullah (bin Mas'ud)." The Prophet said, "Yes, (it is sufficient for her) and she will receive a double reward (for that): One for helping relatives, and the other for giving Zakat."
Given that husbands are obligated to provide for wives, and that marriage is a highly recommended goal of Islam, it is easy to see why women's inheritance share is half that of men. We note also that men are obligated to provide a suitable dowry to women on marriage. In fact, it is preferable at this point to speak in terms of husbands and wives instead of men and women. Allah says in the Qur'an (translation),
"And give women their dowries as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result."[4:4]
Allah says in the Qur'an (translation),
"...And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in a ma'roof way (i.e. all that which is acceptable in terms of mores, goodness, and religion), and men are a degree above them..."[2:228]
This one degree in no way affects the position of the Creator in which He has stated that He does not hold women dearer to him than men, or vice versa. Rather it is simply a way of partitioning responsibilities in a household of two adults: someone must make the final decision on daily matters, though the final decision rests with the husband, it is through mutual consultation that decisions are best reached at.
While men are allowed to marry up to four wives, they are also commanded to meet the preconditions of being able to financially support them. They must also deal with each wife justly and fairly with respect to marital and economic obligations. Allah says in the Qur'an (translation),
"If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice."[4:3]
Moreover, women are allowed to reject any marriage proposal made to them by prospective suitors, thus if she does not feel she can abide by the rules of the Qur'an and Sunnah if she marries a certain person, she can reject his proposal. While it is irrelevant to Islam, it is worthwhile to note that both Judaism and Christianity allow polygamy. The idea is not as foreign to the non-Muslims as is often claimed.
Finally, the wearing of the veil by women is also an illogical premise to claim that women are inferior to men. It is more appropriate to indict a society of female exploitation if it tolerates pornography rather than if it enforces the veil. Allah the Exalted does not endear people to Himself based on their gender, given that the Creator cares about all of us male or female, given that the sexual and violent drive of men is stronger than that of women...given all this, it is illogical to cast a negative light on the following injunctions contained in the Qur'an (translation),
"O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women to draw their outer garments around them (when they go out or are among men).
That is better in order that they may be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed..."[33:59]
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands..."[24:30-31]
On this misconception, there is a great deal more to write, most of it showing how current practices in many Muslim lands go against what the Qur'an and Sunnah have ordained, lands in which women are treated as property (unIslamic), are not educated (unIslamic), are forbidden their economic rights (unIslamic), and more. On this point in particular, we encourage everyone to consult the Qur'an and Sunnah before incriminating Islam. Always remember that Islam is a complete way of life from the Creator, and that Muslims are people who claim to follow that way of life. A Muslim may claim to follow Islam, but be wrong.
Actually, the purpose of this is false. Allah did create man superior to woman with regard to two things: intelligence and religion. Read the words of our Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam):
Narrated Abu Said al-Khudri: Once Allah's Apostle went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) o 'Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, "O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women)." They asked, "Why is it so, O Allah's Apostle ?" He replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you." The women asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?" He said, "Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?" They replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?" The women replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her religion." (Sahih Bukhari)
And Allah Taala says in the Holy Quran: And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them. (Al-Baqarah 2:228)
"Men and Women are equal but we are not the same" -Khalid Yasin
And a man's job is to protect the wife and child... and the womens job is to take care of the child..
Thats why God created Men to be bigger/larger than women..
for me, being a woman is great, BUT being a Muslim woman is truely amazing i geuss you have to be a girl and a muslim to understand where i'm comming from . Anyways Jazakallah khayr for sharing.
"3aqal" by the way in this case doesn't denote intelligence, rather emotionality in which they tend to lose their mind quickly.. This can be scientifically proven in a sense that women have a bigger hippocampus which is the area dedicated for memory consolidation and emotions in general, but it has no bearing on intellect...women and men have the same number of brain cells-- though they are distributed in different areas...
make reasonable or rational , bring to reason make reasonable or rational
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so it has to do more with rationality than intellect, which the word for in Arabic is Zhaka'a not alms this one ends with a ء ذَكَاء not ة so when you say someone is intellectual you can say he is zhaki or zhakya for a female.. when you say have you lost your mind, you use 3aqal... عَقَّلَ
Allah A3lam so, ask any scholar and they will confirm this for you... 3aqal=mind when you say I lose 3aqal, or missing some 3aqal, doesn't denote losing intelligence rather your grip on rationality!
Last edited by جوري; 06-06-2007 at 05:41 AM.
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
Being a revert I can also say that from my previous life as a Christian, Christianity (nowadays at least) most certainly does not support polygamy.
I would like to see evidences to support this statement ..as perhaps it exists and i know nothing of it.
"3aqal" by the way in this case doesn't denote intelligence, rather emotionality in which they tend to lose their mind quickly.. This can be scientifically proven in a sense that women have a bigger hippocampus which is the area dedicated for memory consolidation and emotions in general, but it has no bearing on intellect...women and men have the same number of brain cells-- though they are distributed in different areas...
عَقَّلَ فــــعــــــــل جَعَلَهُ عاقِلًا
Dictionary:
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so it has to do more with rationality than intellect, which the word for in Arabic is Zhaka'a not alms this one ends with a ء ذَكَاء not ة so when you say someone is intellectual you can say he is zhaki or zhakya for a female.. when you say have you lost your mind, you use 3aqal... عَقَّلَ
Allah A3lam so, ask any scholar and they will confirm this for you... 3aqal=mind when you say I lose 3aqal, or missing some 3aqal, doesn't denote losing intelligence rather your grip on rationality!
Assalaamo Alaikum :
Intellect is not the property of any gender.Women are equally God gifted in this respect.
Queen Saba conceives the situation like an expert diplomate.The Quran narrates like
قَالَتْ إِنَّ الْمُلُوكَ إِذَا دَخَلُوا قَرْيَةً أَفْسَدُوهَا وَجَعَلُوا أَعِزَّةَ أَهْلِهَا أَذِلَّةً وَكَذَلِكَ يَفْعَلُونَ﴿27:34﴾
(27:34) The queen said, "When the kings enter a land, they ruin it and debase its honourable people; *39 they do just the same. *40
وَإِنِّي مُرْسِلَةٌ إِلَيْهِم بِهَدِيَّةٍ فَنَاظِرَةٌ بِمَ يَرْجِعُ الْمُرْسَلُونَ﴿27:35﴾
(27:35) I shall send to them a gift, and then wait to see with what reply my envoys return."
Women have equal rights to participate in Government (Islamic state = امربامعروف ونهي عن المنكر )
وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاء بَعْضٍ يَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَيُقِيمُونَ الصَّلاَةَ وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَيُطِيعُونَ اللّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ أُوْلَـئِكَ سَيَرْحَمُهُمُ اللّهُ إِنَّ اللّهَ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ﴿9:71﴾
(9:71) As regards the true Believers, men and women, they are all comrades to one another: they enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil; they establish Salat, pay Zakat dues, and obey Allah and His Messenger. *80 It is they upon whom Allah will most surely send His blessings. Allah is All-Mighty, All Wise.
As far as reward and punishment is concerned both males and females are equal before Almighty Allah;
فَاسْتَجَابَ لَهُمْ رَبُّهُمْ أَنِّي لاَ أُضِيعُ عَمَلَ عَامِلٍ مِّنكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَى
(3:195) Their Lord answered the Prayer thus: "I will not suffer the work of any of you, whether male or female, to go to waste;
وَمَن يَعْمَلْ مِنَ الصَّالِحَاتَ مِن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَى وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَأُوْلَـئِكَ يَدْخُلُونَ الْجَنَّةَ وَلاَ يُظْلَمُونَ نَقِيرًا﴿4:124﴾
(4:124) Whoever does good and believes -whether he is male or female - such shall enter the Garden, and they shall not be wronged in the slightest.
Best of luck
Who can be more irrational than those who say: Design is possible without a designer ??
Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.
Koran 4:34 http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/k/kora...V0&byte=114839
Couldn't find one where women could beat men if they disobeyed. Couldn't find where Allah had made any women superior to men. Doesn't seem very equal to me.
Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.
Koran 4:34 http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/k/kora...V0&byte=114839
Couldn't find one where women could beat men if they disobeyed. Couldn't find where Allah had made any women superior to men. Doesn't seem very equal to me.
In the event of a family dispute, the Qur'an exhorts the husband to treat his wife kindly and not overlook her positive aspects (see Qur'an 4:19). If the problem relates to the wife's behavior, her husband may exhort her and appeal for reason. In most cases, this measure is likely to be sufficient.
In cases where the problem continues, the husband may express his displeasure in another peaceful manner, by sleeping in a separate bed from hers. There are cases however, in which a wife persists in deliberate mistreatment and expresses contempt of her husband and disregard for her marital obligations.
Instead of divorce, the husband may resort to another measure that may save the marriage, at least in some cases. Such a measure is more accurately described as a gentle tap on the body, but never on the face, making it more of a symbolic measure then a punitive one.
Following is the related Qur'anic text: "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women. because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) do not share their beds, (and last) beat (tap) them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all)." (4:34)
Even here, that maximum measure is limited by the following:
1. It must be seen as a rare exception to the repeated exhortation of mutual respect, kindness and good treatment, discussed earlier.
Based on the Qur'an and hadith this measure may be used in the cases of lewdness on the part of the wife or extreme refraction and rejection of the husband's reasonable requests on a consistent basis. Even then, other measures, such as exhortation, should be tried first.
2. As defined by hadith, it is not permissible to strike anyone's face, cause any bodily harm or even be harsh. What the hadith qualified as light striking, was interpreted by early jurists as a (symbolic) use of miswak (a small natural toothbrush)! They further qualified permissible "striking" as that which leaves no mark on the body.
It is interesting that this latter fourteen-centuries-old qualifier is the criterion used in contemporary American law to separate a light and harmless tap or strike from "abuse" in the legal sense. This makes it clear that even this extreme, last resort, and "lesser of the two evils" measure that may save a marriage does not meet the definitions of "physical abuse," "family violence, " or "wife battering" in the 20th century law in liberal democracies, where such extremes are so commonplace that they are seen as national concerns!
3. The permissibility of such symbolic expression of the seriousness of continued refraction does not imply its desirability. In several ahadith, Prophet Muhammad discouraged this measure. Among his sayings are the following: "Do not beat the female servants of Allah;" "Some (women) visited my family complaining about their husbands (beating them). These (husbands) are not the best of you;" and also, "[It is a shame that] one of you beats his wife like [an unscrupulous person] beats a slave and maybe he sleeps with her at the end of the day." (See Riyadh Al-Saliheen)
In another hadith the Prophet said ... "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?..." (Sahih Al-Bukhari).
4. True following of the sunnah is to follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad who never resorted to that measure, regardless of the circumstances.
5. Islamic teachings are universal in nature. They respond to the needs and circumstances of diverse times, cultures and circumstances. Some measures may work in some cases and cultures or with certain persons but may not be effective in others. by definition, a "permissible" act is neither required, encouraged or forbidden. In fact it may be better to spell out the extent of permissibility, such as in the issue at hand, rather than leaving it unrestricted and unqualified, or ignoring it all together. In the absence of strict qualifiers, persons may interpret the matter in their own way, which can lead to excesses and real abuse.
6. Any excess, cruelty, family violence, or abuse committed by any "Muslim" can never be traced, honestly, to any revelatory text (Qur'an or hadith). Such excesses and violations are to be blamed on the person(s) himself, as it shows that they are paying lip service to Islamic teachings and injunctions and failing to follow the true Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH)
Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.
Koran 4:34 http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/k/kora...V0&byte=114839
Couldn't find one where women could beat men if they disobeyed. Couldn't find where Allah had made any women superior to men. Doesn't seem very equal to me.
There can be only one leader, whether it is a country, state, business or house that is being managed. You can't have two leaders in any instituition and that is a fact.
Men are the leaders of their household and always have been. The lead the family as the head of the family regardless of what society or religion we look at.
And as such, every instituition has rules and norms and guidelines it follows and those that exceed those are punished. When kids disobey their parents, parents punish them, even hit them. Can the children hit back? why not?
same goes for men as the authority figure in the house hold. They reserve the right to put their foot down when rules are being broken regardless of who does it, son/daughter/wife/etc. And if you read again, beating is the last resort. In fact, its' not even beating as that is a wrong translation. To beat is to hit without holding back. Islamic specifically states when and how it can be done. By doing so it has actually protected the women from the violent domestic abuse we see so rampant today.
Anyways, Quran does mention that both genders are equal in the eyes of Allah. And some have been made to excel others which can easily see. Men have been made to be superior when it comes to physcial strength and endurance so they can provide and protect their family, and women have been made superior in terms of their patiences and pain tolerance. Do you know how much patience is required to be pregnant 9 months and then to take care of the infant till he/she is a teenager, and the pain she goes thru labor, who can handle that?
Both have been give different gifts to excel in their own ways, and its very stupid of feminists of today to trying to make women equal to men in every way. That will never be, both genders have been created to different to play different roles in society.
What are women's rights in Islam?
Courtesy of Islamic.Org
In a truely Islamic society women have the following rights in Islam:
1. The right and duty to obtain education.
2. The right to have their own independent property.
3. The right to work to earn money if they need it or want it.
4. Equality of reward for equal deeds.
5. The right to express their opinion and be heard.
6. The right to provisions from the husband for all her needs and more.
7. The right to negotiate marriage terms of her choice.
8. The right to obtain divorce from her husband, even on the grounds that she simply can't stand him. (pls note that God deeply frowns upon divorce as a solution unless there is hardly any other alternative but it does not mean that men have more right to divorce their wives than women do.)
9. The right to keep all her own money (she is not responsible to maintain any relations).
10. The right to get sexual satisfaction from her husband.
11. Custody of their children after divorce.
12. to refuse any marriage that does not please them and more...
Spiritual Equality of Women and Men
Allah has got ready forgiveness and tremendous rewards for the Muslim men and women; the believing men and women; the devout men and women; the truthful men and women; the patiently suffering men and women; the humble men and women; the almsgiving men and women; the fasting men and women, the men and women who guard their chastity; and the men and women who are exceedingly mindful of Allah. (Al-Ahzab 33:35)
Attitudes towards women
O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good. (An-Nisa 4:19)
Collaboration and consultation
The believing men and women, are associates and helpers of each other. They (collaborate) to promote all that is beneficial and discourage all that is evil; to establish prayers and give alms, and to obey Allah and his Messenger. Those are the people whom Allah would grant mercy. Indeed Allah is Mighty and Wise. (Al-Taubah 9:71)
Examples of Consensual Decision Making
If both spouses decide, by mutual consent and consultation, on weaning [their baby], there is no blame on either. If you want to have your babies breastfed by a foster mother you are not doing anything blame-worthy provided you pay to the fostermother what you had agreed to offer, in accordance with the established manner. Fear Allah and know that Allah is aware it what you are doing". (Al-Baqarah, 2:233)
Women's Right to Attend Mosques
Narrated Ibn Umar: The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, "Allow women to go to the Mosques at night." (Bukhari Volume 2, Book 13, Number 22)
Narrated Ibn Umar: One of the wives of Umar (bin Al-Khattab) used to offer the Fajr and the 'Isha' prayer in congregation in the Mosque. She was asked why she had come out for the prayer as she knew that Umar disliked it, and he has great ghaira (self-respect). She replied, "What prevents him from stopping me from this act?" The other replied, "The statement of Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) : 'Do not stop Allah's women-slave from going to Allah s Mosques' prevents him." (Bukhari Volume 2, Book 13, Number 23)
Ibn 'Umar reported: Grant permission to women for going to the mosque in the night. His son who was called Waqid said: Then they would make mischief. He (the narrator) said: He thumped his (son's) chest and said: I am narrating to you the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him), and you say: No! (Sahih Muslim Book 004, Number 0890)
Ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Do not deprive women of their share of the mosques, when they seek permission from you. Bilal said: By Allah, we would certainly prevent them. 'Abdullah said: I say that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said it and you say: We would certainly prevent them! (Sahih Muslim Book 004, Number 0891)
Yahya related to me from Malik from Yahya ibn Said that Atika bint Zayd ibn Amr ibn Nufayl, the wife of Umar ibn al-Khattab, used to ask Umar ibn al-Khattab for permission to go to the mosque. He would keep silent, so she would say, "By Allah, I will go out, unless you forbid me," and he would not forbid her. (Sunan Abu Dawud Book 14, Number 14.5.14)
The Common Performance of Ablutions Narrated Ibn Umar: "It used to be that men and women would perform ablutions together in the time of the Messenger of Allah's assembly." (Bukhari: 1: Ch. 45, Book of Ablution)
Women's Right of Proposal
Narrated Sahl: A woman came to the Prophet, and presented herself to him (for marriage). He said, "I am not in need of women these days." Then a man said, "O Allah's Apostle! Marry her to me." The Prophet asked him, "What have you got?" He said, "I have got nothing." The Prophet said, "Give her something, even an iron ring." He said, "I have got nothing." The Prophet asked (him), "How much of the Quran do you know (by heart)?" He said, "So much and so much." The Prophet said, "I have married her to you for what you know of the Quran." (Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 72)
Women's Right of Permission
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)." (Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 67)
Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah's Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid. (Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 69)
The Right of Women not to be Forced
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: Barira's husband was a slave called Mughith, as if I am seeing him now, going behind Barira and weeping with his tears flowing down his beard. The Prophet said to 'Abbas, "O 'Abbas ! are you not astonished at the love of Mughith for Barira and the hatred of Barira for Mughith?" The Prophet then said to Barira, "Why don't you return to him?" She said, "O Allah's Apostle! Do you order me to do so?" He said, "No, I only intercede for him." She said, "I am not in need of him." (Bukhari: Volume 7, Book 63, Number 206)
Asserting Women's Rights
Ibn Al-Jauzi narrated the virtues and merits of Umar bin Al-Khattab (Allah bless him) in the following words: Umar forbade the people from paying excessive dowries and addressed them saying: "Don't fix the dowries for women over forty ounces. If ever that is exceeded I shall deposit the excess amount in the public treasury". As he descended from the pulpit, a flat-nosed lady stood up from among the women audience, and said: "It is not within your right". Umar asked: "Why should this not be of my right?" she replied: "Because Allah has proclaimed: 'even if you had given one of them (wives) a whole treasure for dowry take not the least bit back. Would you take it by false claim and a manifest sin'". (Al Nisa, 20). When he heard this, Umar said: "The woman is right and the man (Umar) is wrong. It seems that all people have deeper insight and wisdom than Umar". Then he returned to the pulpit and declared: "O people, I had restricted the giving of more than four hundred dirhams in dowry. Whosoever of you wishes to give in dowry as much as he likes and finds satisfaction in so doing may do so". quoted in: "On the Position and Role of Women in Islam and Islamic Society"
Seeking advice and comfort
Narrated 'Aisha (the mother of the faithful believers): ... Then Allah's Apostle returned with the Inspiration and with his heart beating severely. Then he went to Khadija bint Khuwailid and said, "Cover me! Cover me!" They covered him till his fear was over and after that he told her everything that had happened and said, "I fear that something may happen to me." Khadija replied, "Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones." Khadija then accompanied him to her cousin Waraqa bin Naufal bin Asad bin 'Abdul 'Uzza ... (Bukhari Volume 1, Book 1, Number 3)
The Characteristics of a Believing Man
Narrated AbuHurayrah: Allah's Messenger (pbuh) said: a believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another. (Muslim Book 8, Number 3469)
The Education of Women
Narrated Abu Said: A woman came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Men (only) benefit by your teachings, so please devote to us from (some of) your time, a day on which we may come to you so that you may teach us of what Allah has taught you." Allah's Apostle said, "Gather on such-and-such a day at such-and-such a place." They gathered and Allah's Apostle came to them and taught them of what Allah had taught him. (Bukhari Volume 9, Book 92, Number 413)
On the Treatment of Women
Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri: I went to the Apostle of Allah (pbuh) and asked him: "What do you say (command) about our wives?" He replied: "Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them." (Sunan Abu Dawud: Book 11, Number 2139) "The best of you is one who is best towards his family and I am best towards the family". (At-Tirmithy). "None but a noble man treats women in an honourable manner. And none but an ignoble treats women disgracefully". (At-Tirmithy).
A Husband must keep the Privacy of his Wife
Narrated AbuSa'id al-Khudri: Allah's Messenger (peace_be_upon_him) said: The most wicked among the people in the eye of Allah on the Day of Judgement is the man who goes to his wife and she comes to him, and then he divulges her secret. (Muslim Book 8, Number 3369)
A Husband's Attitude
'Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA) said that a man came to his house to complain about his wife. On reaching the door of his house, he hears 'Umar's wife shouting at him and reviling him. Seeing this, he was about to go back, thinking that 'Umar himself was in the same position and, therefore, could hardly suggest any solution for his problem. 'Umar (RA) saw the man turn back, so he called him and enquired about the purpose of his visit. He said that he had come with a complaint against his wife, but turned back on seeing the Caliph in the same position. 'Umar (RA) told him that he tolerated the excesses of his wife for she had certain rights against him. He said, "Is it not true that she prepares food for me, washes clothes for me and suckles my children, thus saving me the expense of employing a cook, a washerman and a nurse, though she is not legally obliged in any way to do any of these things? Besides, I enjoy peace of mind because of her and am kept away from indecent acts on account of her. I therefore tolerate all her excesses on account of these benefits.
The Prophet's Disapproval of Women Beaters
Patient behavior was the practice of the Prophet, even when his wife dared to address him harshly. Once his mother-in-law- saw her daugher strike him with her fist on his noble chest. When the enraged mother -in-law began to reproach her daugher, the Prophet smilingly said, "Leave her alone; they do worse than that." And once Abu Bakr, his father-in-law, was invited to settle some misunderstanding between him and Aishah. The Prophet said to her, "Will you speak, or shall I speak?" Aisha said, "You speak, but do not say except the truth." Abu Bakr was so outraged that he immediately struck her severely, forcing her to run and seek protection behind the back of the Prophet. Abu Bakr said, "O you the enemy of herself! Does the Messenger of Allah say but the truth?" The Prophet said, "O Abu Bakr, we did not invite you for this [harsh dealing with Aishah], nor did we anticipate it." quoted in: Mutual Rights and Obligations
And Allah (swt) knows best.
Bukhari Volume 1, Book 4, Number 148:
Narrated 'Aisha:
The wives of the Prophet used to go to Al-Manasi, a vast open place (near Baqia at Medina) to answer the call of nature at night. 'Umar used to say to the Prophet "Let your wives be veiled," but Allah's Apostle did not do so. One night Sauda bint Zam'a the wife of the Prophet went out at 'Isha' time and she was a tall lady. 'Umar addressed her and said, "I have recognized you, O Sauda." He said so, as he desired eagerly that the verses of Al-Hijab (the observing of veils by the Muslim women) may be revealed. So Allah revealed the verses of "Al-Hijab" (A complete body cover excluding the eyes).
Bukhari Volume 1, Book 8, Number 347:
Narrated Um 'Atiya:
We were ordered to bring out our menstruating women and veiled women in the religious gatherings and invocation of Muslims on the two 'Id festivals. These menstruating women were to keep away from their Musalla. A woman asked, "O Allah's Apostle ' What about one who does not have a veil?" He said, "Let her share the veil of her companion."
Bukhari Volume 1, Book 12, Number 778:
Narrated Sahl bin Sa'd:
The people used to pray with the Prophet tying their Izars around their necks because of their small sizes and the women were directed that they should not raise their heads from the prostrations till the men had sat straight.
Bukhari Volume 1, Book 8, Number 368:
Narrated 'Aisha:
Allah's Apostle used to offer the Fajr prayer and some believing women covered with their veiling sheets used to attend the Fajr prayer with him and then they would return to their homes unrecognized .
Bukhari Volume 1, Book 9, Number 491:
Narrated Aisha:
The Prophet used to pray while I was sleeping across in his bed in front of him. Whenever he wanted to pray Witr, he would wake me up and I would pray Witr.
If we allow it to be open, then the debates are just going to repeat all over again. So if anyone wants any refutations or see women's rights - they can refer to them links insha Allaah (God willing.)
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i geuss you have to be a girl and a muslim to understand where i'm comming from 
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