Dawah to my girlfriend

sounds like a recipe for future frustration and sadness,
i'm not one to judge you on your past weaknesses and interactions with her, stuff happens and Allah knows best, sometimes He makes weak people strong, and can even make them forerunners in good.

I would advise you to do your best to convince her of the absolute necessity to live in accordance with the guidance of Allah, the benefits and consequences in this world and eternity. Think carefully.

maybe getting her to bring a reliable mahram and taking them on holiday to a Muslim majority country will increase her respect and change her dismal view of Islam?

you've got your whole life a head of you, if you can afford it, it's worth it.

If she is born a Christian, my suggestion is for her (you first) to listen to Jeffrey Lang on YouTube. "The Purpose of Life". It's about 90mins and well worth the time. Maybe needs going over again and again. He is a bit long winded but thorough and in his own way, funny.

If she cannot accept the fact, you cannot have her. She might see islam in a different light after she sees this, though. I, a born muslim, learnt something ever so valuable from that video (in fact, it was referred to by another member here on this forum, I forget who, a revert. Thank you again to that person).

Hope you find the best path.

you are not allowed to have a girl friend . So , first end the haram relationship .

If she is interested to know about Islam , she may contact local mosque , Islamic org , may attend Islamic conferences. Guidance come from Allah . So, make dua for her and ask Allah to bless u with a pious wife.

format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim Woman

you are not allowed to have a girl friend . So , first end the haram relationship .

If she is interested to know about Islam , she may contact local mosque , Islamic org , may attend Islamic conferences. Guidance come from Allah . So, make dua for her and ask Allah to bless u with a pious wife.

Easier said than done ukhti, better to try and make people unite on the guidance of Allah and cause islah than turn them into renegades like bonnie and clyde.
though emphasis must be put on the fact that he mustn't fall into haraam, he can still try and guide her to Allah while staying within the limits of Allah if his heart is all romeo like.
with all that said, if it becomes clear to you that she's an enemy of Allah and an inhabitant of Hell, disassociate yourself from her.
come out of her my people, lest ye be partakers in her sins and receive of her plagues.
dunno how she'll respect your limits if she doesn't respect the limits of Allah.

Was there not amongst you even a single merciful man?! (Written By Abu Esa Nimatullah)

On the authority of ibn ‘Abbās that the Prophet (sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) dispatched a military unit.
Upon gathering the booty they found a man who said, “I’m not from them! I fell in love with a woman and followed her here! Allow me to at least look at her then you can do with me as you wish.”
The woman, tall and ebony-skinned, came forward and he said to her, “Submit to me O Hubaysh, before life comes to an end.Have you not seen how I found you and followed you To Halyah, through tight mountainous ravines? Is it not the right of the lover to yearn After suffering the entire night in pursuit and heat of the noon?”*
She said, “Yes! May I be sacrificed for you!”

Then they took the man and killed him. The woman fell on his body, gasped once or twice, then died.

When the unit returned to the Messenger of Allah (sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and informed him of what had happened, he said, “Was there not amongst you even a single merciful man?!”

This narration, collected by Imām al-Nasā’i as well as al-Tabarāni and al-Haythami has a fair chain (as opined by ibn Hajr in al-Fath), although there is a dispute about its strength amongst the Muhaddithīn.

The name of this lady was Hubayshah but he referred to her with a term of endearment by shortening her name to “Hubaysh”, something done similarly by the Prophet (sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he would affectionately call Ā‘ishah simply “Ā‘ish” as narrated by Imam al-Bukhāri in his Sahīh.

The man was infatuated with this woman, forgetting even death for a moment just to look at her one more time and even asked her to allow him this with his statement ‘submit yourself’ i.e. don’t begrudge me this last moment.
Other scholars mentioned that it might mean ‘accept Islam’ or even ‘give me peace’ but the first position seems to fit the context and Allah knows best.
The woman’s response ‘fadaytuka’ is a well known expression of love and sacrifice amongst the Arabs, being an extreme sign of love and commitment.
Indeed, the companions would often come and express their loyalty to the Prophet (sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) with the same term.The beauty of this narration is that it shows some of the excellence of the Arabs in their poetry, their concern for love and romance, and the overriding principle of ease and gentleness in Islam despite its strict disciplinary and penal code in times of necessity.So, from the many lessons, points of law and indeed benefits of this narration as mentioned by our teachers:
1. The intrinsic gentle nature of the Prophet (sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
2. Pardoning precedes Punishment
3. The power of love and its consequences, to the extent that it can make a man forget death
4. Love (and its consequent sadness) can kill as seen with the woman
5. A lesson to be learnt for those attempting to give fatwa for a death sentence – it is an unenviable responsibility despite its importance
6. The virtue of mercy to the creation, even if they differ with you
7. The concern of the leader for giving all people the possibility of hearing about Islam, and hence his emphasis on da’wah
8. The strength of Islam today has been based on retaining the best attributes of those who were not Muslim, particularly culture – this is seen more clearly in the other narrations as well.
9. That the leaders should always be fully appraised by those under his command so that he can either confirm their actions or correct them.
10. Both men and women of that time were equal in their knowledge of Arabic language and culture
11. It is permissible to look at a non-Mahram woman if there is a need; how else were the Sahābah able to describe her skin so accurately?
12. The intrinsic disadvantages of keeping continual company of such disbelievers. The man wasn’t even from this group yet he was taken because he was with them.
13. The harshness of the Sahābah, radhy-Allahu ‘anhum, on kufr and the aggressive disbelievers
14. There is no need for expiation/blood money if the Mujāhidīn make an honest mistake after their best efforts of ijtihād. There is discussion on this point.
15. The permissibility of killing a rebellious captive
16. Punishment is not immediate; a delay for requests or other reasons is allowed
17. Female captives are usually retained, to be freed or married as per the orders of the leader
18. The execution of aggressive prisoners was by the sword and by the striking of the neck
19. The Prophet (sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would often reprimand his Companions, and as here, with severity
20. The Sahābah are not ma‘sūm (protected from making mistakes and sinning)
And Allah ‘azza wa jall knows best.

http://www.ahlalhdeeth.com/vbe/archi...hp/t-5127.html

Ibn Kathir narrated, on the authority of Ibn al-Jawzi:

"There was an unfortunate man from the Mujahidin who were fighting in the lands of the Romans.
So, when the Muslims were in one of their expeditions and surrounding a land of the lands of the Romans, he looked to a woman of the Romans who was sitting in a fortress therein, and he became attracted to her and sent her a message asking how he could reach her.
She replied: "As soon as you conquer this area, then come up to the fortress and you can have me,"
so, as soon as the area was conquered by the Muslims, he did this.
From that point on, there was not a single skirmish that the Muslims would be engaged in except that he would be up in the fortress with her.
This caused the Muslims great sadness and distress, and it became very hard on them to deal with this reality. After a while, they went up to the fortress where he was staying with this woman and said to him:
"What happened to all the Qur'an you knew? What happened to your knowledge? What happened to your fasting? What happened to your Jihad? What happened to your prayer?"*
he replied to them: "Know that I have forgotten all of the Qur'an I used to know except for these verses:
{"Often will those who disbelieve wish that they were Muslims. Leave them to eat and enjoy, and let them be preoccupied with false hope. They will come to know!"}
[al-Hijr; 2-3]
and I now have wealth and children with them.""['al-Bidayah wan-Nihayah'; 11/68]

Al-Hafiz Al-Thahabee mentioned in " Siyar Aalam Annubalaa " ( 20 - 69 ) the story of Ibn Assaqqa,
He was a muqre' who memorized all the Quran, He travelled to Kuffar land for a mission, there he converted to christianity and forgot all the Quran except the third aya of surat ( al-Hijr ) .

http://www.ahlalhdeeth.com/vbe/archi...hp/t-5127.html

remember when the desperate woman bolted the doors and said "hayta lak" to Yusuf (pbuh)?
it meant "my life is yous" or more contextually "i'm all yours".
but Yusuf pbuh remembered Allah's signs and decided he was all for Allah.
that was an adulterous and traitorous situation.
we should understand the difference between adultery, kufr and the possibility of happily ever after.

Chapter Name:Al-Baqra Verse No:23

5وَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاء أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ عَلِمَ اللّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ

وَلَـكِن لاَّ تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلاَّ أَن تَقُولُواْ قَوْلاً مَّعْرُوفًا وَلاَ تَعْزِمُواْ عُقْدَةَ النِّكَاحِ حَتَّىَ يَبْلُغَ الْكِتَابُ أَجَلَهُ وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُ وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ

{235*002:235*Khan:
And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in yourself,
Allah knows that you will remember them, but do not make a promise of contract with them in secret except that you speak an honourable saying according to the Islamic law (e.g. you can say to her, "If one finds a wife like you, he will be happy").
q And do not consummate the marriage until the term prescribed is fulfilled. And know that Allah knows what is in your minds, so fear Him. And know that Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing.

002:235*Sarwar:
It is not a sin if you make an indirect marriage proposal or have such an intention in your hearts.
God knows that you will cherish their memories in your hearts.
Do not have secret dates unless you behave lawfully.
Do not decide for a marriage before the appointed time is over. Know that God knows what is in your hearts. Have fear of Him and know that He is All-forgiving and All-merciful.

002:235*Yusufali:
There is no blame on you if ye make an offer of betrothal or hold it in your hearts.
Allah knows that ye cherish them in your hearts:
But do not make a secret contract with them except in terms Honourable,
nor resolve on the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled. And know that Allah Knoweth what is in your hearts, and take heed of Him; and know that Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا جَاءكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتُ مُهَاجِرَاتٍ فَامْتَحِنُوهُنَّ اللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَانِهِنَّ فَإِنْ عَلِمْتُمُوهُنَّ مُؤْمِنَاتٍ فَلَا تَرْجِعُوهُنَّ إِلَى الْكُفَّارِ لَا هُنَّ حِلٌّ لَّهُمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحِلُّونَ لَهُنَّ وَآتُوهُم مَّا أَنفَقُوا وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ أَن تَنكِحُوهُنَّ إِذَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ وَلَا تُمْسِكُوا بِعِصَمِ الْكَوَافِرِ وَاسْأَلُوا مَا أَنفَقْتُمْ وَلْيَسْأَلُوا مَا أَنفَقُوا ذَلِكُمْ حُكْمُ اللَّهِ يَحْكُمُ بَيْنَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ

{10*060:010*Khan:
O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them, Allah knows best as to their Faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers,
they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them.
But give the disbelievers that (amount of money) which they have spent [as their Mahr] to them. And there will be no sin on you to marry them if you have paid their Mahr to them.
Likewise hold not the disbelieving women as wives, and ask for (the return of) that which you have spent (as Mahr) and let them (the disbelievers, etc.) ask back for that which they have spent.
That is the Judgement of Allah. He judges between you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.

Salam alaykum

You better not try too much to convert her - she might get negative feelings and becomes angry if you repeat and repeat converting her. Don´t argue with her if she wants to keep her own religion and hers own religious opinions, she might feels you try to force her to takes your opinions and that you don´t respect hers ones.

Give her good information if she likes to get it, make dua and ask help from Allah.

reminds me of that song "got a right to be wrong"
an oxymoron if anything.

anyway, the truth concerning the matter is clear from falsehood, worst comes to worst, you'll get an idea of the level of a person's bias and intelligence.












Seek the truth and follow it, wherever you are.

there is music in the following nasheed:

the term g.f just sounds loose and careless,
can you not rephrase it to something like "the lady who i want to guide to Islam and marry"?

or is it that you are accustomed breaking the bounds of Allah with no care for how He sees you and are therefore using the term in order to reflect accurate context?
if so, know that you won't find it easy to bring her guidance.
i claim to be no angel but implore myself and yourself to come within the limits of Allah's Law with sincerity.