I am thinking about converting to Islam, but I am scared.

**North** · 06-27-2020

Hello and thank you to anyone that might read my post.

I have always searched somehow for God. I never had a religious upbringing, quite the opposite. My parents do not care if I drink, sleep around or whatever, as long as I am not in danger and my life is in okay order. I have never felt right in my society. No one cares about God. No one cares about values. From a very young age people I knew slept around and did things you should not. And all I ever knew was people commenting that I was hot and that they wanted to sleep with me or whatever. No one ever cared about my values. No, if you did not want to party or things like that you were a prude and boring, and you would be left out. Anyway I stayed a virgin for very long and I always have had a very modest relationship with sex and I am glad I never fell for that pressure. I was also searching for a deeper meaning.

And then I met my boyfriend. And we had so many similar thoughts. And he was the purest man I have ever met. I have never met people that think like him before. And he told me he was a muslim. And at first I was scared because where I live muslims are almost known to be dangerous. Ironically. But he has taught me a lot and I have come to fall in love with this religion. Even if, growing up as someone that never was taught to have a relationship with God, everything does not make sense to me. Some things are weird to me. But I DO have God in my heart. And I want to convert. I feel its the right thing. When we get married and have children the children should have parents with the same religion. Even tho, I am terrified. I know people will think I am brainwashed and that he is controlling me. So why have I never been as healthy as after I met him. Why did no one ever see anything other then my looks before I met him. He is just so special and he is everything I think a human should be..

My parents will be so shocked. They will say he destroyed me I think, and that he´s dangerous. And I´m scared that they will refuse and then his parents will maybe not think I´m a good match (not because of the converting, but because my parents are so negative). I don´t know what to do. How on earth will I tell my parents. Can someone please help?

In general about converting, but also the issue with converting in a society where people will look so down on me..

**North** · 06-29-2020

Thank you so much everyone. I have tried talking with him today.

**Studentofdeed** · 06-29-2020

If he does not act like a real man and marry you or introduce you to family, then you should leave. You need someone who respects you enough to take you to his parents and likes you more than his own fragile ego. In islam that is why relationships are forbidden. Because people are played around with and hurt and broken. So many lives today you see are ruined because of these pointless relationships. But inshalalh it will work best for you sister

**Al-Ansariyah** · 06-30-2020

Totally agreed with everyone here!!
Look, we aren't trying to attack the guy or let you down. It's just that it's a sin on him if he remains in a pre marital relationship.I am sure you care about him and don't want that ,right?
Also be careful of everything about him and then go ahead. And when i say this, i don't mean it by his health,wealth or race, rather check if he's of a fine character,if he can control his anger, if he can take stand for you when your family or his family speaks ill of you, and most importantly if he's practicing.
If his behaviour changes after you talk to him about marriage,then know that it's not a good sign. However if he is saying that you both should wait till the completion of studies, then you can do the nikah for now and announce the marriage later. Like this, you both will be able to be in contact with each other and also won't be in sin.

**peaceandlove** · 03-19-2021

Respected Sister

First of all i pray to Allah go give you courage and take you out of any worries you are in.

Secondly i am not sure but if you are afraid of telling your parents that you accept islam, you can hide that for some time until youo keep up and have courage but in mean time be very nice and polite with your parents so they can notice you are dealing very good with them.

and third I am not sure, if you know but in third world countires its a common problem, here in our society most parent are always on upper hand and childrent are always fear telling them any thing or even what they wish to eat , parent always want their childrent to be same like what they want, even they pressuer what parent want to study and not what childrent want, so you are not alone in that world facing parents pressuere, millions of peple are facing it , some for relitions matter some just for society matters, once you know you are not alone, try to meet some body similar who are facing that and how they are trying to overcome it. In shah ALLAH , Allah will make some path to take you out of this situation

**MazharShafiq** · 03-19-2021

Originally Posted by peaceandlove

Respected Sister

First of all i pray to Allah go give you courage and take you out of any worries you are in.

Secondly i am not sure but if you are afraid of telling your parents that you accept islam, you can hide that for some time until youo keep up and have courage but in mean time be very nice and polite with your parents so they can notice you are dealing very good with them.

and third I am not sure, if you know but in third world countires its a common problem, here in our society most parent are always on upper hand and childrent are always fear telling them any thing or even what they wish to eat , parent always want their childrent to be same like what they want, even they pressuer what parent want to study and not what childrent want, so you are not alone in that world facing parents pressuere, millions of peple are facing it , some for relitions matter some just for society matters, once you know you are not alone, try to meet some body similar who are facing that and how they are trying to overcome it. In shah ALLAH , Allah will make some path to take you out of this situation

Ameen